is it easiert the first time you break up when it

2»

Replies

  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    all the first emotions but with the hope to try again

    or the second, when no hope is left. its over.

    which is easier for you?

    The first is easier for me to deal with. I can handle my emotions pretty well even if something comes as a shock. The death of hope however is harder for the eternal optimist in me to deal with. It's more a philosophical angst.

    Cool thread. You should be rat arsed more often...
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 543 Member
    Blindsided is worse.

    And drinking did help.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    It was easier the second time round, as I was half expecting it anyways. You never get back with someone without wondering, what if.....
    '
    Btw, Cry, shout, scream do whatever, but above all, hold your head up high and concentrate on you and what's best for you alone.

    I've been through several separations with the same person. It never gets easier really, but emotionally I think you subconsiously prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

    Any breakup is always gonna hurt though. :-/
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
    The second is easier, because you already really know deep down that it is a possibility. When you are blindsided it's like hitting a brick wall and then having said wall come crashing down on you. When my wife wanted a divorce I was crushed and very emotional. We tried to patch it up but in the end it didn't work. When she finally left I had already come to grips with the situation.
  • rprussell2004
    rprussell2004 Posts: 870 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    Um, no. That wasn't the question, was it?

    Did you read the OP? That was totally my take on it.

    I feel bad for the gal, but come on - the last thing ANYONE should do is tie one on and go post in an online forum!

    [edit: GAL]
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    ahhhh...the ol get drunk and log onto MFP thing....dont drink and drive ( and dont post either)
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    ETA: to the person who said "drinking doesn't help," you can just keep your mouth shut.

    this.. and honestly if I am the one doing the walking the blind side is easier... getting blind sided however.. not so much fun.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    It's like you're in my head.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.
    Getting drunk to cope is what losers do. That's why the musicians who make it big do so singing sad songs.
    People love to go around in pity for themselves. :sad:
    BUCK UP!
    There are many more fish in the sea. And nobody catches a fish moaning and groaning.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Honestly, snw, I don't know how to answer your question. I think both bring their own unique heart break.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    The blindside is much harder. I've done the repeated 'second chance, third chance' bull****, and it hurts less, because you're able to adjust, think, analyze and figure things out better once the emotions calm down.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    The second. I would be less emotionally involved and more closed off.
  • BeachBobbie
    BeachBobbie Posts: 46
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    Why would you say something like that? You might want to think before you put something so rude up! A person asking for help and heart breaking??? This is how you treat your fellow sister? Get off the boards if you can't be nice. No-one wants a miss b* 's opinion when they are reaching out for help!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    Then you are doing it wrong.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You know, I think what you are really asking is "Is it worth it to try again?"

    My answer to that is going to be 'no' if you feel like it is already doomed to begin with which is what I think I gathered from your OP. If you know it is not going to work out, then don't try to make it work just to spite yourself. I've done that before and ended up with a lifetime of bitterness, frustration, and pain. It's not worth it.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    well, drinking doesn't solve the problem, regardless.

    Then you are doing it wrong.

    I had to chuckle at this....in the early days when I first met my now ex, he was supposed to meet me at this club I went to regularly. Long story short - he didn't show and we ended up breaking up. I got rat arsed and broke a few bottles (I know - I was young and niave back then). Felt really good though.

    Snw - noticed you've posted in other forums - your're great. You'll be fine with some time to heal. Easier said than done - I know. Seriously, hold your head up, don't look back, and spend all your time on you for a while.
  • HunterKiller_wechange
    HunterKiller_wechange Posts: 369 Member
    Its never easy.:ohwell:
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Its never easy.:ohwell:
    Right, and as cruel as this is going to sound....
    WARNING! I am about to offend somebody....
    the one in any relationship who cares the least is the one who gets to call the shots.
    Welcome to the human race.
    No, it's never easy....:ohwell:
  • rprussell2004
    rprussell2004 Posts: 870 Member
    the one in any relationship who cares the least is the one who gets to call the shots.

    Had to stop and think about this.

    Makes sense.

    +1
  • snw_
    snw_ Posts: 237 Member
    the best part of the beginning of this thread was just really asking... but i had just changed out the plastic cover thingy on my phone and the screen wasn't responding normally the cursor kept skipping around - and i didn't notice until i hit submit. so i kept trying to fix the typos when ppl already started to respond and i just gave up on trying to read the damned thread since i couldn't respond. i came back to look at the responses today and seriously confused on the drinking comments. that's funny.
  • BeachBobbie
    BeachBobbie Posts: 46
    Its never easy.:ohwell:
    Right, and as cruel as this is going to sound....
    WARNING! I am about to offend somebody....
    the one in any relationship who cares the least is the one who gets to call the shots.
    Welcome to the human race.
    No, it's never easy....:ohwell:

    yep...agreed
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Interesting topic of timing...I just got dumped last night.

    I truly believe that this depends on the connection you feel there is between the 2 of you. No matter how in control of your emotions you may be, if you feel it is strong, it's going to sting like motherfuker. And if not, you allow the :eh, your loss you POS" anger out to dull it.

Categories