Its FRIDAY... Make me laugh

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  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long.

    TL;DR
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up
    to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.

    As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the
    bar:

    COLD BEER: $2.00

    HAMBURGER: $2.25

    CHEESEBURGER: $2.50

    CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50

    HAND JOB: $50.00

    Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole'
    biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive
    female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled
    farmers.

    She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.

    "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"

    The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he
    whispers, "Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

    She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I
    sure am".

    The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly,
    "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger".
  • RAF_Guy
    RAF_Guy Posts: 230 Member
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    Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day



    You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."



    "Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."



    And I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel


    But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.




    So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."
  • coraliethomas
    coraliethomas Posts: 336 Member
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    :laugh:

    Well thank you guys!! My friday has now gotten off on the right foot!

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