When can you trust yourself again
bemott
Posts: 180
I lost about 50 lbs a few years ago by learning to eat less, eat better, move more, etc...I was able to maintain that loss. But was still 206 lbs for years. Couldn't get that to budge. Started MFP in Jan 2012, and have lost 45 lbs so far. Am not done yet (maybe 15 more lbs?) but am suddenly struggling. I know it's not going to always be easy, but I just wonder if I'm ever going to be able to trust myself to have junky type food around. I am all for treating myself when it fits into my calories for the day. And have done okay with that for a while, but I suppose mostly with 100 calorie pack treats and skinny cow ice creams.
Earlier in the week I brought only one piece of strawberry rhubarb pie home from my birthday, figuring I could fit it in later in the week. But I ended up getting up in the middle of the night like a zombie and eating it, along with 2 granola thins and a bunch of milk. Screwed up my next day. Find that lately I just can't be trusted around desserts. And am getting up in the middle of the night again and eating. I thought I'd broken that habit. I know I just need to get a grip and I am. But it's hard to realize that maybe you're just never going to be the kind of person that can make a batch of brownies or have a bag of cookies in the house.
Are any of you able to do this? It must be so hard for people that have kids or partners like like to have sweets around.
Earlier in the week I brought only one piece of strawberry rhubarb pie home from my birthday, figuring I could fit it in later in the week. But I ended up getting up in the middle of the night like a zombie and eating it, along with 2 granola thins and a bunch of milk. Screwed up my next day. Find that lately I just can't be trusted around desserts. And am getting up in the middle of the night again and eating. I thought I'd broken that habit. I know I just need to get a grip and I am. But it's hard to realize that maybe you're just never going to be the kind of person that can make a batch of brownies or have a bag of cookies in the house.
Are any of you able to do this? It must be so hard for people that have kids or partners like like to have sweets around.
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Replies
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It's a continuous struggle for me, tbh. Good thing I live alone. If I feel like brownies, I'll make a dozen, keep 2-5 and give away the rest lol.0
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Is the night eating a new thing for you? If it is, maybe you should look at your diary & see if you can eat a little later / eat a more filling meal + portion controlled treat for dinner.
I know for me, I will eat a huuuuuuuuuge bowl of ice cream, scrape it clean & stare mournfully at the bottom. Put that same ice cream on a cone & I will usually waste half of it.0 -
Thanks guys. No, night eating has been a major problem for a while, but I thought I had it nipped in the bud.
I guess it's just something I will have to just keep getting in check. Old and bad habits die hard.
That's funny about the cone. I eat an entire cone and want another.0 -
You're smart about the brownies. Even freezing doesn't seem to help me, I will just basically break my teeth on them!0
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Perhaps the it isn't a matter of trust but a matter of life style and not thinking of food as a reward? Someone just commented that food never tastes as good as healthy feels. Not sure I can agree totally but get the idea. Secret for me is to use will power at the grocery store. I find if it isn't around I won't eat it.
Best wishes!0 -
Do you log everything, every day? Even bad days?
Do you keep a journal?
I tend to go either way way over or hella under my calories-- I've been so stressed the last two days that I didn't even net 1200.
However, I didn't notice the pattern until I completely nerded out & started putting my calorie count for the day in my regular journal. I'd read the old entries & see that on the day I fought with B, I only ate 900cal; on the day I had that big meeting with corporate I ate 4500cal.
Once you find out the causes, you can try to mitigate the damage.
Just remember that one bad night doesn't ruin a bunch of good days & don't get discouraged!
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I wish I could be of some help to you. I am a sweet-aholic. I bought a coconut creme cake from the neighborhood bakery. In one day I had eaten the entire thing. I was planning to use it as motivation. That did not work. i got on the scales this morning and wanted to take a bottle of diet pills. I have gained 3 pounds.
I have always been the kind of person who ate everything that was wanted, well now I am 248 lbs., size 20W and miserable. I began to want to drop some pounds when my husband and I divorced and I lost about 33 lbs. However, when I read a post on Facebook and saw that he had remarried only 6 months after our divorce was final, I began to eat and now I am heavier than I was when he first left.
I do not want to have weight loss surgery but if I can't get some control I may have too.
Last night I got up to take a bathroom break and found myself eating a handful of skittles.
Can anyone help me????????????????????0 -
This is the reason why I don't have a cheat day but just have a small piece of those as long as it fits within my calorie goals. I live with my parents & 3 siblings who are all single but at the same time they love desserts. So in our fridge I always see cakes, chocolates & no matter how strong my willpower is but if I continuously deprive myself of the goodies then I just craved for it more so when the cheat days comes, it will turn out to be a binge fest for me. I've been there & done that, it just proves that cheat days are a no-no for me. We tend to binge because our bodies start to rebel.
Perhaps you can have a small bite of your favorite foods as long as you are within your calorie goals so as to satisfy your cravings & to avoid binge.0 -
Is there a possibility that something other than just a sweet tooth is going on again in your life that caused this behavior to pop up?0
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This is why I think a huge part of the success is mental. It's not enough to eat right and work out, I think that for many folks it's really important to change the entire way you think about food.
I don't understand how people can insist that it's NECESSSARY for their happiness to be able to gorge on unhealthy foods regularly. Why do you want to do that to yourself? If your happiness hinges on doing something bad to yourself.........isn't that a little off???
I'm not saying never eat "bad" foods. We all do. But I've found that I could "trust" myself when I started looking at food for what it really is........a tool that can help or hurt me. Fuel for my work outs. Fuel to keep my healthy.0 -
I have found that this is so much more then just eating right and exercising. There is a huge mental aspect of weight loss that I think a lot of people forget to address. I have my off days and days where I think "screw this! I can eat 3 cookies and just not put it in my diary." The only person I am hurting is me. So I have to remember to look at food in a different light otherwise once I lose all my weight I will more than likely spiral back to the way I used to be.
Another thing that works for me is not bringing any "trigger foods" into the house. That way if I MUST have it I would have to leave the house and drive 15 minutes to the grocery store just to get it. By then its not even worth it.0 -
This was one of my thoughts too. I used to have a problem with middle-of-the-night snacking , and while I am grateful every day that it is no longer an issue for me, I do worry about it coming back. I have been seeing a therapist and working on what I thought were "other" things, but have found that everything is all related. Now that I'm finally addressing some kind of intense stuff (not obviously food-related) that I've been hanging onto since childhood, my eating patterns have become much more "normal." I wonder if this might be helpful for you, too. Good job on your weight loss, by the way!Is there a possibility that something other than just a sweet tooth is going on again in your life that caused this behavior to pop up?0 -
I'm that way with carbs. If I go low carb a few day I'm good to go and lose weight. But the minute I get a few sugars in me it's like a dam burst- can't stop the craving and eat all night.... I need to join carbs anonymous...lol0
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Mmmm... sugar. I think you have to allow yourself a safe space in your head to be honest. Is this a trend? Are you starting up an old path? Or is it an isolated incident where you just need to be okay with it, dust yourself off and get back on the horse.
Believe me, the self awareness thing is HARD. I'm still getting the hang of it. I started out at 205+ and had a similar compulsion for sweet (not just dessert, but all sweet, like the granola bars you mentioned.) I'm hovering around 154 now and looking to lose a few more lbs. I have found that allowing myself small indulgences once in a while is okay if I also own up to and take action against recurring patterns.
Eat. Move. Be Free.0 -
I feel you! For me, it's much better if it's separated by serving. If it's dove chocolate, I can set aside 4 and stop. With anything large and sweet, like cake or a jar of nutella, I keep coming back during the day/night. Having super delicious high-calorie food around only is possible for me, but only if it's obvious how much of it I am eating.0
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finding that special place when you know you've transitioned from dieting to a sustainable lifestyle is a challenge we all face. Like you, there are some food that I have a hard time moderating, so I've had to ask myself if I really need them, if I don't need them I don't buy them. It's kind of an all or nothing, if they aren't there I don't crave them or set myself up for failure. It doesn't mean I don't trust myself as much as it means I know myself and I would no more open a big bag of chips and salsa thinking I'll stop at 7 chips then I would put a toy in front of a kid and tell them not to play with it. Eating things we enjoy and that taste good bring us pleassure, the problem is most of us learned to love the taste of the cake and chips more then the apple and nuts so until our brains and tastebuds look at the cake or chips with the "meh, I could take it or leave it" attitude we look at most healthy foods with we need to be aware of our limitations.0
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You know, I was just battleing with practically the same issue. I know a lot of people that diet, or watch what they eat, as well as, trainers..that say or recomend that its ok to have a splurge meal once a week. I actually intended to do this, but avoided it my first couple of weeks, dieting. I decided that last night would be ok to have a splurge dinner...however, I felt like I lost my sence of control..and its a feeble control at that...but...after eating, a meal and not counting its calories, I was shocked at how much I ate when I put into mfp. But worse than that, found myself in the kitchen looking for more food at 8pm. Not good, not good.....I had the same thought you did, when will I be able to trust myself to eat within my means again, without, worring if I will trigger my binge eating patterns. I just decided to face that splurge meal another day, and not right now..and get back on my regular plan..one day I will be able to do it,,,hmmmm but not today....0
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I really take an addict's approach to my eating habits. I just don't eat those things, ever. While this may be unrealistic in some people's minds, it is the only thing that has truly worked for me. I have gone almost 3 months without eating any of my trigger foods and it gets easier every day.0
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^^^^i do the same. And that's the reason I don't have a "cheat day" too. That's like a drug addict saying "I stay clean all week, but Saturday's I do dope." lol at how funny that soundsI really take an addict's approach to my eating habits. I just don't eat those things, ever. While this may be unrealistic in some people's minds, it is the only thing that has truly worked for me. I have gone almost 3 months without eating any of my trigger foods and it gets easier every day.0 -
I am a sweetaholic too. I allow myself a treat or two a day (fit it into my cals). With my husband and my daughter not following the same diet there are treats in the house anyway - I can't help but look at them. If I eat more than that, regardless of what it is, or how much over it puts me, it gets logged. I don't think I've missed a day of logging since mid-March and it's helped me to keep myself under control.0
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I will always trust myself again and give myself another chance to put things right. I'd do that for anybody else so why not for me?
What I WON'T do however, is let myself go beyond some very strict parameters right now because I know I would be setting myself up to fail. MFP has really been an incredible lifeline for me; enabling me to do this for myself - but under control if I choose it to be - and I do. This is working for me because I believe it will and to that end, I'm doing everything possible to give myself what I need to succeed here.
That and the awesome and fierce friends I've made here... I'd never have thought that friendships in virtual world would be so inspiring - or so important to me - and they really are. They'll never know how much they've helped me change my life so far and I really do love them all.0 -
I have found that this is so much more then just eating right and exercising. There is a huge mental aspect of weight loss that I think a lot of people forget to address. I have my off days and days where I think "screw this! I can eat 3 cookies and just not put it in my diary." The only person I am hurting is me. So I have to remember to look at food in a different light otherwise once I lose all my weight I will more than likely spiral back to the way I used to be.
Another thing that works for me is not bringing any "trigger foods" into the house. That way if I MUST have it I would have to leave the house and drive 15 minutes to the grocery store just to get it. By then its not even worth it.
Totally agree with this! I would buy skinny cows on Monday and by Tuesday night I had finished them. I just stopped buying them. However I still have ice cream, if it fits in my calories and I go to the local frozen yogurt place. I have a son as well, and I try not to buy junk for him either. Our whole family eats better and if my son has cake or candy its not in my house and its not an everyday thing. Moderation is key! If having those foods is sabotaging your progress you don't need them in your house. Your body learns to live without them.
Also try to log the food before eating it, this has quickly changed my craving into a choice not to eat that sugary snack that my body doesn't need. It is all mental and one day is not going to doom you. Best of luck!0 -
Aww yeah I hear ya. I just keep my 'bad' foods (ice cream and chips) out of the house so I'm not tempted in moments of weakness. I'm such an emotional eater but I've been trying to be self aware when I'm tempted to eat my face off because I'm upset about something so that I do something else like work in the yard, go for a run etc... But it's tough for sure. I haven't read it yet but apparently Bob Harper's new book recommends a cheat meal, not a cheat day. I know that if I let myself eat terribly for a whole day it really throws me off. Plus I find that the longer I eat healthy meals for the less I'm inclined to want junk food. All the best to you!0
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:bigsmile: never.... smokes, drink, food, etc...
you always have to be aware of them (one or all) if you lose focus you can slip... change your entire lifestyle, mindset but be aware that you have the possiblity that you might slip back into that "comfort zone" that you used to live in.. but good news is, you've already moved in the right direction0 -
Never. I have l had the perfect awesome figure several times in my life and each time I attain that goal I swear I will never gain it back.. I do every time and I grieve and say how did I let this happen again??? I have had weight problems since I was a child. I have a huge appetite and now that I'm 50 I have accepted that I will have to log my food for the rest of my life. That was hard to accept because I so badly wanted to be "normal". I am now losing the weight again for the last time. Don't try to fool yourself. Just accept who you are.0
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I really take an addict's approach to my eating habits. I just don't eat those things, ever. While this may be unrealistic in some people's minds, it is the only thing that has truly worked for me. I have gone almost 3 months without eating any of my trigger foods and it gets easier every day.
I agree with you. see my post0 -
that's a very bad relationship with food, or junk food in particular... that you have to avoid them or you'll lose self control.... it's like drugs!! this won't work in a long run.. maybe you 've been avoiding them for too long.. you should let yourself eat anything if you feel like it. that's life!! you should enjoy yourself... or anyone really.. this is such a complicated discussion.. but i wish everyone good luck.. including myselF!0
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I really take an addict's approach to my eating habits. I just don't eat those things, ever. While this may be unrealistic in some people's minds, it is the only thing that has truly worked for me.
Same here. I have kids, so it is hard, and I do struggle. I will buy something for the kids and end up eating some and not being able to stop at "just one bite". So, I learn from my mistakes and know that I just can't have that crap in the house anymore. I buy them treats I don't like, or take them out for ice cream, so I don't have it sitting in the house. I also put all the kid food in one cabinet and all mine in another so I don't even have to look at their stuff. I don't plan to ever go back to eating that stuff again because it is an addiction that I can't control once I get started.0 -
Do you log everything, every day? Even bad days?
Do you keep a journal?
I tend to go either way way over or hella under my calories-- I've been so stressed the last two days that I didn't even net 1200.
However, I didn't notice the pattern until I completely nerded out & started putting my calorie count for the day in my regular journal. I'd read the old entries & see that on the day I fought with B, I only ate 900cal; on the day I had that big meeting with corporate I ate 4500cal.
Once you find out the causes, you can try to mitigate the damage.
Just remember that one bad night doesn't ruin a bunch of good days & don't get discouraged!
this0
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