i'm depressed :( :'( n don't know what to do..

60_to_lose

hv 60 pounds to lose and i'm just 20!!!
i wanna be one of those girls, you know the girls whom we look at and say "oh! i wish i looked like her.", "i wish i could be that thin.", "i wish i could wear what she is wearing." :frown:
i just wanna wake up and wear anything without trying to think twice or hide under my clothes.. i dunno.. i just feel sick.. i don't want to but i throw up often after meals, i don't wanna say that i'm bulimic.. i just FAT.. I AM FAT AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT. but i don't wanna be fat anymore. i just don't know what to do. i've started working out, but i'm just not motivated enough. i don't wanna become stick thin, i just wnt to be thin and feel good about myself. :frown:
all this negativity and 'FATNESS' is affecting my social life too and even my studies are suffering. i'm not able to think anything beyond hatred for myself and my body, i cannot study, i don't feel like going out in public, i don't feel like talking to anybody.. i feel worthless. i'm tired of keeping a happy front for my parents.
at the moment i just feel like going on a water fast for the next six days.. maybe that will do some good to my body and will kickstart things.. :frown:

diana4583

I know how you feel. I have over 100 pounds to lose and have always been heavy. I always tell myself next year im gonna be skinny and give up after a week of dieting because its no fun.. This time i am here and that is the first thing i needed was support so if you want to add me feel free. There are lots of people on here that have same situation as we do and are doing awesome. Remember you can do it!!!

moran1917

have faith in the mfp program. give it time. be proud of yourself for taking the steps to become healthier. don't expect results over night, this is about changing your lifestyle to becoming a healthier you. it is hard at first, but it gets easier as you adjust. find a way to contain your anxieties- go for a long walk, talk a hot bath, relax. and if you cannot then look for help from a counsellor. you can do this. deep breaths.

wonderlandxstream

Hey 60_to_lose,

I know what it's like to have a negative self image - I'm the same way. You shouldn't hate yourself because of your weight. You've come here, to this website/app to find support and to help yourself and that is a great first step. Be careful with those insane diets where you eat very little! I tried that once and it nearly made me sick and I wanted to pass out. Start making healthier choices with your food, watch how much you eat (don't eat until you're full!), and start exercising (at least a few days a week). My goal is to work out at least three days a week for at least 30-45 minutes per session while not gorging myself with food until I can't move. It's hard to get started and being desperate for results, but if you start now, you'll be thanking yourself over the coming months that you took the time to do this for yourself.

Don't give up!

-- Allison

Smuterella

OK. Take a deep breath. You are 20, now that makes you an adult so please try and make the sensible adult choice and do this the right way. You need some sort of therapy for the bulimia - making yourself sick after eating = bulimia - i'm not sure what else it could be, do you?

If you honestly don't think you have a problem then at least try the MFP method first rather than a water fast. Set up MFP for a 2lb a week loss, log your food, make sure you hit that calorie goal within 50 calories under or over and eat at least half your exercise calories back.

Try that for one month at least.

acarrillo2012

Dear 60 to lose,

First of all you are NOT worthless. It is an awful feeling when you feel that way. I think it would be a good idea for you to speak with a counselor or therapist. Especially if you're keeping up a happy front to your parents. You need support from someone and sometimes it is easier to have it be a professional who is outside your real life and you know won't judge you. The throwing up especially worries me to hear about - and it's not helping you lose weight. Sometimes it can be a vicious cycle - we eat because we feel bad, and then feel worse because of being fat, and on and on. You need support to break the cycle. Also working out really can help with your mood, the endorphins are good for you. Don't put pressure on yourself to work out super hard, just do something active that's fun for you - try something new like a pilates or zumba video, go for walks in pleasant settings like a park - anything is a start and better than nothing.

It is great you reached out on here. please reach out offline too and get some support in person, from close friends, a therapist, someone! You are not alone.

Inojbird

First of all, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! ! ! There are so many people that feel that same way out there. I have two daughters that are fighting the same fight you are. They are 23 and 27. Please don't get discouraged. I'm going to lose 30 lbs. Did you hear me. I said "I'm going to lose. Having the right frame of mind is definetly what you need.

I feel you should try taking 1 day at a time. Sometimes that's what we need to do. If we stumble a bit, that's okay too. We just need to get back up and dust ourselves off and continue the fight.

If you truly are feeling that depressed, you should seek medical advice to help you through this tough time. No matter what size we are, we must love ourselves first, before anyone else can. Believe me, I know.

Hopefully this has helped you a bit. If you want to add me, your more than welcome to. I have had moments that I felt the same way you do right now. I have been able to just remember that life is short and we must enjoy every moment of it. Get up each day and start with a positive attitude. Say to yourself, "Today is going to be a great day for me" and then make it happen.

I truly wish you great success with this program. Remember, YOU ARE SPECIAL.... no matter what size you are...

60_to_lose

my family is supportive but at times i just feel bad for myself.. i'm glad that i wrote about it here, just writing about everything is making me feel better.. i've decided to make a change, and this time i won't back out..
pls give some good tips and suggestions so as to how i can lose 60 pounds.

MaraDiaz

I can't help much, but I will say this. Vomiting will destroy your teeth in no time flat. Best go to the doctor and figure out what physical and/or psychological issues are leading to vomiting, because no matter how skinny and in shape you get, how confident will you feel if you have no teeth?

pupcamper

Forget the water fast or any other weight loss fad - they don't work and will make you feel even worse about yourself!

First thing you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself! Second thing is set yourself small goals like walking for 30 minutes three time a week or some other form of physical activity that you will be able to keep up, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel about yourself when you get moving and meet goals that you have set for yourself! Baby steps and then you can start to progress!

I would recommend reading Secrets of a Former Fat Girl it will have lots of helpful tips to get you on track to where you want to be.

Good luck with your journey and remember to be nice to yourself!

martyne1981

I am sorry to hear you feel like that. You know what- don't get caught up in crazy diets. Eat the right foods- it is surprising what you can eat when you eat the right things. Sometimes it can drive me nuts hearing people say how being skinnier makes them happier and all this stuff. Ok, I don't need to lose weight and I appreciate unless I am there who am I to comment or any of that- but I remember being 2-3dress sizes bigger and I never saw myself any different to what I am now. I think, God, I was 28lbs heavier than I am now 5 years back- but I honestly never felt it.

I think some girls need to have more confidence- I bet there are plenty of things you could be proud about and dont let your weight overshadow that.

Take a day at a time- make little changes and progress from there, add some exercise to your day and do it bit by bit.

You can do this- it just takes time- do it slowly and do it properly- GOOD LUCK!!

kimad

Hello
I think everyone at some point in their life feels that way. You have come to MFP for a reason and if you stick to it, through the good and the bad, you will lose that 60 lbs before you know it.
When I joined MFP in April 2011 I was 245 lbs!! I hated the way I looked, the way I felt, and was always trying to hide myelf. Time is going to go on anyways so I decided to use my time wisely. I am now 162 lbs and for the most part I can wear what i want, I know people wish they looked like me, and my SELF CONFIDENCE is thru the roof. I am so confident, I am so happy, I am so proud of where I came from.

Has it been easy? no, have I gained weight? yes, but I keep on trucking and everything adds up.
Just use your time wisely this time next year you will be VERY glad you did. You can do it.

ETA - I decided this time I was going to make this a lifestyle change, not just follow a diet. So I eat carbs, I have cake, I go out for dinner, but I do it in moderation. If I want this to stick for LIFE it has to be realistic.

tabulator32

Eat healthy.

Exercise.

Ignore the negative people in your life.

Take it one day at a time. The scale will fluctuate but next month at this time you will way less. The month after that, it will happen again.

Crochetluvr

First off, dont purge anymore. If you feel thats the only way, try therapy....

You are young and the younger you are, the better your chances of losing that weight. You want to avoid being MY age with diabetes and trying to lose 50 or 60 pounds. However, you have to resign yourself to the fact that its still going to take time. As much as you want to go to bed and wake up 50 pounds lighter, it aint gonna happen. But you CAN do it.....any one can. It doesnt cost anything...thats a plus! All it takes is a determination and desire to be the person you want to be. Some days you dont want to go to work...or school. But you go anyway because you have to. Its a part of your life. So is this. Make it a part of your life and you will lose that weight....I guarantee.

Robin052

:brokenheart: I was really saddened by your story and totally can relate. I will be 60 in October and have lived my whole life not feeling good enough. You are only 20 and can turn your life around. Please, stop vomitting. You will burn your esophagus and much worse. It's not the answer. When I was your age I was called "piano legs" and "chicken legs" because I was so thin and that hurt but it went deeper than that. It was more of an emotional thing that I will never be good enough. Think about your childhood. As far back as you can. Were your parents or family supportive of you? My dad never said he loved me and when I was an art major and all my things were put on display he always said I could do better. But I learned later that this was how he was raised. You may want to talk to someone who deals with this situation daily. I too don't feel good about myself but still a work in progress. Hang in there sweetie. Hugs...

weightless143

I know how you feel. I'm 19 and I've got a ways to go too.

It's hard seeing those girls, how happy they must be, and then looking at yourself, miserable and 60 lbs above where you want to be. It rough for me too. It's tempting to stop eating or to make yourself sick when you see yourself as second best. But neither of those are safe and if you hurt yourself that way, you'll feel horrible afterwards whether you lose weight or not.

I'm glad that other people's comments are helping. If you ever feel the urge to do anything dangerous, message me.

As for suggestions, I really really like dancing so exercising with music is a must for me. Recently, I've started running while a watch television too. An hour passes by quickly that way.

And then, I haven't done it yet, but apparently if you do 40 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 20 squats, and 10 pushups, that's 100 calories.

P.S. You should use tumblr. The weightloss/fitspo community on tumblr is really supportive too.

6march91

i know how u feel im 21 too, n being fat for our age esp for a girl its really depressing.. but dont give up, im sure we can do it!!

TheRoseQueen

You have made a "positive" step forward by coming out and addressing the issue....and at 20, that is totally admirable. Trust and believe in yourself, and what this support group at MFP can do for you. Coming to the realization that you are not alone in this endeavor is a huge step forward....and as you read the success stories of the many that have chosen to use the MFP accountability program, BELIEVE THAT YOU TOO, CAN ACHIEVE!!!
I am in the over 60 gang....and this has been a boon to me to become involved with this group. Do as the others have suggested in their posts....plug in and find some accountability Team Members at MFP to help you when you get discourage....and you will succeed. You can "friend" me is you want.....we are all in this together. Cheers and Smiles!!!

LelliAmi

I know how you feel. The fact that I have 40 lbs to lose gets me really down sometimes, especially when just last year I was tiny and comfortable walking around in a bikini. But when I focus on eating right and all the activities I can do for exercise, it makes me feel a little better.

It's best to think "I will get there, I will get there" and stop thinking "Why can't I be there already?"

Weight loss in particular can be a very slow, gruelling mission. But if you put your goal up on a pedestal, and enjoy all the activities you do for exercise, it'll become less of something you HAVE to do, and more something you WANT to do.

Good luck, and keep your chin up. You will get there! It just takes a little time, is all.

EpiGaiaRepens

hv 60 pounds to lose and i'm just 20!!!
i wanna be one of those girls, you know the girls whom we look at and say "oh! i wish i looked like her.", "i wish i could be that thin.", "i wish i could wear what she is wearing." :frown:
i just wanna wake up and wear anything without trying to think twice or hide under my clothes.. i dunno.. i just feel sick.. i don't want to but i throw up often after meals, i don't wanna say that i'm bulimic.. i just FAT.. I AM FAT AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT. but i don't wanna be fat anymore. i just don't know what to do. i've started working out, but i'm just not motivated enough. i don't wanna become stick thin, i just wnt to be thin and feel good about myself. :frown:
all this negativity and 'FATNESS' is affecting my social life too and even my studies are suffering. i'm not able to think anything beyond hatred for myself and my body, i cannot study, i don't feel like going out in public, i don't feel like talking to anybody.. i feel worthless. i'm tired of keeping a happy front for my parents.
at the moment i just feel like going on a water fast for the next six days.. maybe that will do some good to my body and will kickstart things.. :frown:

First of all, yes. I have been there. I lost 50 lbs using MFP. Took me two years. The first thirty came off pretty quick though- in about five months. All of what you said, wanting to hide your body, hating on yourself, etc. Been there. Done that. Sometimes I still do that....

Here's my advice: The #1 thing you have to do is stop being so depressed. You can't get **** done for yourself that is good if you are hating on yourself. Don't focus right now on how you look, or how you think other people see your body. Focus on what makes you happy. I guarantee there are things that would make you happy that are healthy. For me, it was surfing. Always wanted to learn, decided I didn't care that I was fat and signed up for lessons. Before I knew it, I was going surfing every weekend. I was happy. I was fat and people were checking me out in my bikini on the beach (it's amazing how much people are attracted to a "**** off I don't care what you think" attitude of confidence).

I also recommend trying running. It's not fun to do, but 20 minutes 3x's a week can work wonders on depression. And you will learn to look forward to what is known as "runner's high."

You said you don't feel motivated to exercise- that's from your depression.
Then you say you want to do a water fast- that is self-hating punishment. And it won't WORK. Starvation DOES NOT WORK...at least not long term.

Follow the guidelines on MFP. Do this for YOU. Not for boys or for your parents or for anyone else. You *will* get there if you stay dedicated. That's all you have to do. MFP will set you up with how many cals you should eat, you can work out and eat more cals, you can lose weight doing that. When you get closer to goal, it gets trickier, but by the time you get there, you will have enough friends on MFP to help you figure that out (or at least try to! I want to lose another 10 lbs and get my BF% to 17 and it's like rocket science! But I have no complaints that my bf% went from over 30 to 20 just following the guidelines here!)

basillowe66

First of all, we all want to be what we aren't. You have to reaize that it will take time. And to shorten the time you have to serious about wanting to lose. You have to incease your activitiy along with cutting down your calorie intake. Emtpy calories are what kills us. Frnce fries are a complete OUT. McCdonalds and all fast foods are out. Eat vegetable, fruits and meat. the meat alng with eggs are things that help to burn fat. The big thing is don't over eat . Start a walkin routine. once you start a walking rourine then start jogging just lightly. Walk, run a little then walk again, then run again. After you have done that for a while, you will notice you are jogging more than you are walking. No empty calories, sugar and other sweets, no white bread use whole grain.

let me know how you are doing!! Put your mind to it and you will be fine!!

Basil

sandredee937

My tip is to eat small meals throughout the day (every 3 hrs or so), never eat a huge meal and try to avoid resturants and fast food as often as possiable. i used to throw up after i ate sometimes also ( AND IM NOT BULIMIC EITHER) it was just that i couldnt control my self and ate so much that i felt sick and had to yuk... anyway.. dont get discurged if one day you mess up start again the next.. follow the MFP guide for calories IT WORKS!!! and if you follow it you dont even have to exercise much (even though u shoud... lol, i dont) stay positive and remember your, your worst enemy, learn to love yourself no matter what!!!

teamnevergoingback

You're definitely in the right place! We all know how you feel and have similar goals. As long as you stick to it and put in the effort you will be able to succeed. There are a lot of helpful people here.

caraiselite

sounds like you a therapist to work on your mind first, then work on dieting and exercising.

if you don't fix your self esteem, you could weight 100 pounds and still not think you're thin enough.

dicker94

I have gone from 276lbs to 236lbs since January by logging my food on MFP, walking everyday at least a couple of miles and doing Tabata 3 times per week (look it up, 4 mins a day burns calories for 24 hrs after)

Please don't give up, there are some great success stories on here and i am becoming one of them. One of the biggest motivations for me is girls are starting to look at me again, i even got a comment the other day saying i was hot-from a complete stranger to her friend. Can't tell you how much of a boost that is. You'll get there but the best bit of advice i could possibly offer you now is to log in EVERY day! Because recording everything you eat and the exercise you've done makes yu become strict.

Good luck to you girl, you will become fitter, slimmer, sexier, more confident, happier and have the boys chasing ya. xx

EpiGaiaRepens

crap. i missed the whole bulemic thing.

ED's are an entirely different story. If you have an ED you probably don't have to lose 60 lbs and you need therapy more than you need a diet.

Still, only log food you actually keep down. And don't you dare eat less than 1200 cals a day. I lost 50 lbs eating at least 1200 cals a day, and eating my exercise cals on top of that. The closer you get to goal, the MORE you have to eat (sounds crazy, I know).

ps. I have had an ED and I'm telling you that eating right is better than puking/starving. My BF% is lower and I am hella stronger and I look WAY better than I did when I was anorexic. Food is good for you....if you make good food choices. And the occassional slobber fest of chocolate and carbs and sweets and pizza is actually a normal part of the "journey"....I've had a LOT of pizza and baked goods on my path to lose all this weight. I just balanced it out with a lot of salads and regular exercise.

MizSaz

I'm saying this with love, seriously, because I have stood exactly where you are standing, and I know how overwhelming it is, and I know it sucks, so with that in mind:

Congrats. You just threw yourself your very last pity party. Felt good to get that out, right? I know it did. So now that it's all out there, for you and everyone else to see, get it together. Being sick of being fat isn't going to change a damn thing. You have to take proactive steps to improve your life.

That negativity? Let it go. It will torment you and hold you back if you don't. So what you have to lose 60 pounds? Honestly, it's nowhere near as much as it would be if you gained another 60. Food is fuel. Food is not a reward. Food is something you need to live and function as a human being. You can't hate it. You do need to learn a healthy respect for it.

If you try to go from your normal eating routine into a 5 day water fast, you will regret it. There are healthy ways to fast, and I've gotten to know a few people who do it from time to time for not only physical, but spiritual and mental reasons as well. What you're talking about doing isn't fasting, it's setting yourself up for failure and more self loathing. Don't do that to yourself.

Spend a few days logging the things you normally eat. At the end of the few days, really look at what you're putting into yourself. Think about what changes you can make that are sustainable and realistic for you. There are millions of people on this site, and they will all give you different opinions about what works and what doesn't. The problem with that, though well intentioned, everyone is different. What works for one person may not work for another. You need to work on YOU and find out what works for YOU.

I honestly, sincerely, wish you the best, and I hope I didn't offend you. You can do this. Be strong!

xLexa

My advice would be this, take a look at the tickers under many of the people who posted here. We ALL have to start somewhere. You have 60 to lose I started with 160to lose!. Heaviest I have ever been in my life. In teens and early 20s i suffered from eating disorders also. Now I am obese... yup I said it out loud. I truly believe it is all part of the same eating disorder spectrum. You are 20 and you are lucky to have found MFP because in 20 years you could have been me! Do it the right way dear and you will succeed, and every lb you take off, remember you are on a journey that will set you up for life, if you take it off too quickly chances are you will put it right back on again. You CAN do this!

rjl64

Be proud that A) you've started this program and you are voicing your feelings. If your feelings seems too overwhelming, I would HIGHLY suggest seeing a therapist who is experienced with weight loss/overeating/eating disorders. Keep your feelings flowing and try to move past them. Let them enlighten you and inspire you to go forward.

Something else I would suggest is: For a week, stop comparing yourself to other girls/women. Stop buying fashion magazines. When you see a thin person, distract yourself and think about how smart/funny/talented you are. Try really hard to focus on this being a HEALTH journey, not a beauty journey. Really try to feel your health improving from the inside, rather than how your clothes are fitting on the outside.

These are difficult suggestions, but they help me a lot!

60_to_lose

EpiGaiaRepens : no no.. i don't have an ED (and no i'm not in denial).. i seriously need to lose 60 pounds, i'm FAT!

BR3ANDA

First: You might want to get into some therapy for the way you feel about yourself, if you go to church maybe you could talk to a mentor there. Second: "Diets" dont work, you have to make a lifestyle change, and thats not going to happen overnight and its not going to happen until you come to the root of your problem and learn to live and love yourself. Also, you cant expect to lose the 60 lbs in a few weeks, its going to take time so you need to learn patience. Make small changes you can stick with and you'll be successful. Today is going to be a good day! ~ Say that to yourself and mean it, and it will be a good day.