Need advice on getting my wife on MFP

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  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
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    The excuses that she used really aren't legitimate, so it really does sound like she just doesn't want to. Since you are eating less and healthier, has she joined you in this, or stuck to her old ways?

    I think it's best to drop it. It's her choice And you still use your knowledge that you have learnt on MFP to help. If you don't already, I would suggest making healthy dinners and asking to her go on walks or exercise with you.
  • jarredondo
    jarredondo Posts: 297 Member
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    you can't force people to do something, sadly.

    my friends called me fat, and it pretty much did it for me though!

    not sure you want to call your wife fat, but it might kick her in the butt to get going.

    it seriously takes 5 minutes a day to log! have her mom/sister/friend tell her to do it?

    It sounds mean, but sometimes that's what it takes. I don't know that my husband ever came out and called me fat but he made enough comments that it started hurting my feeling. It took that for me to realize that it wasn't just the weight. My husband didn't like the person I was turning into. And worse it made me realize that I didn't like the person I was turning into.

    I say this because sometime it takes some hard truth to be said for reality to sink in. I am training for a 1/2 marathon in the fall and I haven't felt this good since before I had my kids.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    you can't force people to do something, sadly.

    my friends called me fat, and it pretty much did it for me though!

    not sure you want to call your wife fat, but it might kick her in the butt to get going.

    it seriously takes 5 minutes a day to log! have her mom/sister/friend tell her to do it?


    Call your wife fat???? Really? Better find some other place to sleep tonight, buddy! LOL
  • jenn_may
    jenn_may Posts: 154 Member
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    Keep saying positive things, but do not make her feel pressured. Also, try incorporating her into your "calories burned". Teach her what you are learning and she may be more apt once it all doesn't seem so foreign to her.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    Help! My wife is also weight challenged and really needs to lose weight, if for no other reason, to live longer and not make me a widow. I have been gently trying to get her to join MFP and log her caloric intake, as well as be more careful about what she eats. So far, she always has an excuse: e.g. "I'm so busy, I just don't have the time", or "It's such a hassle to log everything, I don't think I can do it".

    I could use and and all suggestions on how to get her on here and on the path to better health. Thoughts?

    Be the cook in your house and that way you can cook healthy for both of you. Making your lunch?? ... make one for her also ... There is to ways she could take it ... either awwww your so sweet(lets hope for that one)... or WTF you trying to do. Make it something you do as a couple with out forcing it on her that is of course.

    You could argue the fact that the time she invests now could will save time and money in the future by avoiding medications and going to the doctor. When I first got my doctor scare my medication came to just under $300 (Canadian)...
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
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    If she can't find the motivation to do it herself she won't succeed. Lead by example.
  • LittleTrish
    LittleTrish Posts: 27 Member
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    I treat dieting and trying to lose weight like any other addiction, when you chose to do something about it, its because you have reached your point where you want things to change for one reason or another. I would never diet to make someone else happy and at the same time if I was not mentally ready to change my life for the better, no matter what diet I would chose im sure I would fail with it.
    I chose to finally change my life for the better because I could not stand to look at myself anymore, I hate every inch of my body. Also I recognised that I was having a problem with food and that it was really having a bad effect on my health. I chose to face reality and it was not nice. I love food, it has been a comfort (not friend) for many years and has been a coping mechanism for many stressful situations. My advice is, if your wife really isnt ready to start addressing her eating issues then don't push her. She has to be mentally ready because as all of us know its not easy by far.
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
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    My husband joined on his own b/c he saw the change in me and saw that the changes I was making in my life were possible for him to make too. I did, however, make a point of inviting him to the gym and cutting down my 90 minutes to a manageable 30 on the occasion that he was there so he didn't feel so overwhelmed. I know it's stressful to watch a loved one eat themselves into poor health, but everyone has his or her own journey to get to this point. Good luck!
  • raitch
    raitch Posts: 62 Member
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    This place is great, but it really isn't for everyone. As I've lost my husband has lost as well, and while he has a MFP account, he never uses it. He's doing OK on his own.
  • kimdarren
    kimdarren Posts: 76 Member
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    I completely agree. My husband has needed to lose weight for years. It wasnt' until he saw how much weight I was actually losing, and I did't say anything about it to him this time, that he started to do something about it. Now the cheeky git has lost 10lbs more than me <very big grin>. She'll come round when she's ready to, or when something really drastic happens and it gives her a reality check. Hopefully it'll be the first of the two.
  • dianniejt
    dianniejt Posts: 175 Member
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    It sucks to "diet" alone but at the same time you cannot make anyone else want to lose weight or get healthy. I am not sure what changed for me but I have had doctors tell me my heart is bad, my cholesterol is high, my knees and back are bad and the best thing would be weight loss. I have been told I should plan on dying very young. None of that was enough for me to lose weight. No matter how many people tell me I need to lose weight or anything of the sort no matter how kind all it did was damage my already poor self esteem. She has to do it for her. Be an example and support her in whatever decision she makes.
  • anorangie
    anorangie Posts: 975 Member
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    Help! My wife is also weight challenged and really needs to lose weight, if for no other reason, to live longer and not make me a widow. I have been gently trying to get her to join MFP and log her caloric intake, as well as be more careful about what she eats. So far, she always has an excuse: e.g. "I'm so busy, I just don't have the time", or "It's such a hassle to log everything, I don't think I can do it".

    I could use and and all suggestions on how to get her on here and on the path to better health. Thoughts?

    I've noticed that the more I pick up healthy lifestyle habits, my husband seems to naturally do the same. Perhaps as you continue to lose weight and meet your fitness goals, your wife will be inspired by your progress.

    My husband actually _did_ sign up for MFP, and he uses it to log in his weight every week. That's it. But he has lost 13 lbs. (out of a 30 lb goal) in one month nonetheless, mostly by being more aware of food choices and by moving more. Just keep doing what you're doing, and your new habits may rub off. :)

    Weight is a sensitive topic for many, and as well-meaning as your intentions are, your wife may be resistance to what she perceives as pressure. Ultimately, that spark or impulse to be healthy has to take root internally...it has to be something she really wants for herself in order to sustain long-term changes.

    She now knows you are hyped about MFP and that you recommend it to her. She won't forget; maybe give her a little time to think about it before bringing it up again.
  • MrsBully4
    MrsBully4 Posts: 304 Member
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    Good luck.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,124 Member
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    Just do your own thing. It's the only way it ever works.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    If all else fails, be harsh. Tell her you don't want her weight to be the reason you lose her.. =/ You have to be careful though.. this could have the opposite affect =|

    A person does have to be ready to lose weight or else it will never work. Just try to be a good example for a while.. She might get a shock somehow..
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
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    What is that old adage? "You can lead a horse to water but, not make him drink" She has to be ready to do this for herself not you. I have been trying to get my husband to be more aware of his diet also. No luckj
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    what everyone else said!!

    Leave her be. She'll either want to or not. You can't force her and encouraging her might just have her digging in her heels and not doing it for spite.

    Just do your thing. Work out, get healthy. Look great. She'll come around once she sees how well you are doing, and how well she isn't doing.

    Patience and love!
  • Awake_Alive
    Awake_Alive Posts: 261 Member
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    One suggestion I haven't seen yet. Make sure if she has a smart phone that she knows about the app! I rarely have time to come on to the regular site, but I can log like a mutha effah from my phone!!!
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
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    First, you can make her do it.She has to want to do it for herself. But hey, let her watch you log your food and get her to see how the support is on her and let nature take it's course. Good luck.
  • black_sabbath
    black_sabbath Posts: 52
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    It's not something you can force upon somebody. I understand you're just worried and trying to help your wife but if she really wants to diet and/or just get fitter she'll do it in her own time.

    I think you've done the right thing by talking to her about it and trying to persuade her, and it sounds like she's a stubborn woman (not un-common for us women).

    Maybe she's comfortable with her weight perhaps?

    My partner doesn't like how he looks and I tried helping him on a diet in less than a week he gave up and told me he just can't do it. It's fair enough I wouldn't say he's huge like he thinks. But if he wanted to perhaps try again one day i'd be there to support him.

    All you can do is sit back and be there for when she needs you :)

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