What to tell someone who asks for your weight loss help ?

L_amore

You could spend your whole life trying to convince someone to do something they're not ready to do.

If they ask for advice then give it sincerely. Bottom line, they have to be ready to commit to it before anything you say will truly sink in.

^^I agree with this^^ People will not put in the effort or change until they are ready to do so. You can talk till your blue in the face, but if they aren't ready to commit, they won't.

I would just say, I didn't lose all this weight by wishing it, I got out there every day and busted my butt, ate right, and committed myself to a life change. And just leave it at that.

BaconMD

The next time someone asks you that, just say, "I stopped making excuses," and be done with it.

Jenn09870

I got annoyed at first, I have never been the person who liked to be made the center of attention and when someone loudly announces that you've lost so much weight everyone looks.
I would tell them simply "Diet and Excercise" which was vague but true.
I really credit this site for all the things i have learned, either through the message boards, or for the little tidbits i get here and research on my own.
I started to get people's email addresses for a little while and send them a link for the website because while it is work, it is not as complicated as people think it is and I would love to be able to help people feel the sense of accomplishment that I have been feeling.
The few that tried didn't stick with it for more than a week or two. Even the couple that were most concerned about their weight- I see them drinking alcohol, or eating crap, it just makes me sad. (everyone's definition of crap is different and I know you can eat crap and still lose as long as it's within your calories-not intended to offend anyone).
Now I just write down the website, tell them it's available as free apps, and tell them it has been working wonderfully for both me and my husband.
You can't take their bad choices personally, they have to have their own epiphany before they will be ready to change. At least you have given them tools to help when they are ready, and even if they don't follow the advise now, they will remember it later (hopefully).

TRISTAR

I don't think it's your place to comment on what they are currently eating (unless they ask for it). They originally asked you how you did it, and you took the time to explain how. They then had a choice to either learn from this or ignore it. I think if you comment on what they are eating now, after you have told them your key to weightloss success, they may think you are the food police.

jillica

I know someone who blames it on her hormones and lack of money to afford to go to one of those boot camp places!

She has 15 lbs to lose. She eats very well, she is active, and goes to the gym for cardio 30 mins x 2-3/week and 1 45-minute toning class/week.

I tell her that she needs to try to up her cardio and strength training sessions in either minutes or frequency. Like if she would just do 30 minutes of strength training after her weekly cardio classes but she WON'T make the time.

She tried working out at least 60 minutes everyday for 1 week and didn't see any results and gave up.

I've decided she just wants an excuse. So I'm just trying to be a good example again (AND THIS TIME KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF!)

mlynnea03

Before I started to lose weight I never asked anyone what I needed to do. The information is not hard to find. I just did not want or feel like doing what I needed to do to get in shape. I did get a lot of unsolicited advice from slimmer friends and my mom. I accepted the advice, but continued to do what I wanted. I knew they cared, but them caring was not enough to change me. On another thought I hate when people who REALLY don't want help drag me into their problems. With any goal that I'm trying to pursue I tell myself to stop talking about it and work on it. I will support anyone, but change takes more than the desire to change. I sat for years silently loving my unhealthy lifestyle, but hating where I was headed (obesity, diabetes, heart disease, bigger clothes, unflattering shape, etc. I will not join anyone in stressing about things if they are not putting in work to change. I at least had the decency to keep my mouth closed when I wasn't ready.

Lizziebeth102 I thought of myself as the family therapist for a long time, but then I woke up one day and said I'm not getting paid for this. It is so hard to change the subject when you are really close to the person and want to see them change, but I had to become the queen of that in order to keep my sanity. :noway:

I save my passion for when the person starts to show signs that they are really ready and when that happens the support goes both ways.

vice1989

what's wrong with jerky?!

(that's a rhetorical question.)

no really.....not a rhetorical question. you can eat Mc Donalds and lose weight too....I think people make it too complicated and think of it as an all or nothing deal.....That's not how it works.

This is true, and actually when I lost the 50 LBS I was eating w/e the heck I wanted to, hot dogs, kraft dinner all that junk, I just stayed under calories and it came off... But Now that I eat good food instead of that crap I feel SO much better, look healthier and can eat WAY more food since its not so high fat