Not looking to be judged, I just need help.

SmallBodyBigHeart

Before I start I just want to ask that you don’t judge me. Please don’t turn this thread into a joke, I know that there are a lot of “comedians” on here and I love your humor but I don’t need it on this thread. I know what I’ve been doing is wrong and I don’t need anyone coming on here and saying “why didn’t you listen”, “blah blah blah”. All I want is help. I’ve never liked asking for help because I always seem to get judged. Please don’t judge me, please just help.

Well, I don’t know where to start. I’m making this post because I want help. I’m sick of my unhealthy eating habits. I’m sick of depriving my body of the nutrients it needs and wants. I’m sick of seeing a low number on the scale one day and not seeing that number for long. I’m sick of “crash dieting”. I want help and I need help. I know that if I start treating my body right I will reach my goals and not only that I will be able to maintain my goals. I might not reach them as soon as I want to but I know that I will. I’m just sick of seeing temporary results, I’m sick of being depressed, out of energy, and just so emotional. I can’t believe I let this take over my life. The first thing I do when I get up every morning is go and run to the scale. This has taken over my life. Right after work I go straight home and get on the scale, or go and look up things weight loss related. I’m sick of living like this and I want control. I’ve tried to get my life back many times before on my own but it didn’t work and so I’m coming to you all asking for help. I fear gaining weight, I fearing bulking up, I fear not staying slim, and I fear calories. Sometimes I feel like the only way to get that “slim” look is to either eat clean (which I don’t have the money to do) or “crash diet” which doesn’t work. I hate it so much. I deleted a lot of my friends on here because I want to get better and in order to get better I know I have to take some things out of my life. I even updated my info box on my page so I can attract the right kinds of friends. I’ve taken a few small steps to get better; I just need help with taking the next step which is eating more. My diary is open so you can go and see how I’ve been eating and on my page in my info box you can see my goals and stats. I know they say start increasing your calories slowly to avoid gaining weight but does that mean adding 50 cals a day or 100 a week; I’m still kind of confused about that. For my exercise I do everything, I run, I do the Jillian Michael’s workouts, I do dance workouts, and I love doing yoga and Pilates. Every time I attempt to change my life around it never last. I want it to last. Please send me friend request so I can surround myself around healthy people, please just tell me all I need to know. I apologize for not using this site correctly and for abusing it. I want to be like that butterfly in my picture, I want to enjoy life and be free and healthy. I’m ready for it. Thanks in advance for all the help, it really took me a lot to just open up and admit that I’ve been doing things the wrong way. Thanks again.

lauleipop

Step #1: Every day, say 5 things you love about yourself and 5 things you are grateful for.

Seriously. Your mind set is likely holding you back. You see yourself as a failure and your situation as hopeless. It's not. Start changing your mind set to that of a victor, not a victim.

gr8pillock

Step #1: Every day, say 5 things you love about yourself and 5 things you are grateful for.

Seriously. Your mind set is likely holding you back. You see yourself as a failure and your situation as hopeless. It's not. Start changing your mind set to that of a victor, not a victim.

Fact.

carld256

Actually, your diary isn't open.

Edit: Weird, when I made my post your page was blank. Now I see that you've posted a lot of information.

cmeade20

Step 2 take that scale and throw that evil little jerk in the trash

You can afford to eat clean. You dont have to buy super overpriced crap at whole foods to eat clean. And just eat the exercise calories back. When I started doing that within a week the weight started sliding right off again.

LadyIntrepid

Oh sweetie. The previously mentioned Step #1 without a doubt. Be sure to have supportive and kind friends and family around you, and be kind to yourself as well -- never tell yourself something about yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else. Do non-exercise-related things that you love and make you feel good. The better you feel about yourself and the world around you, the more everything else will fall into place, too. Hang in there.

MB_Positif

I agree with the comment that eating clean doesn't have to be expensive! Everyone envisions some sort of perfection of the phrase "eat clean." Oxygen Magazine and Clean Eating Magazine both have recipes that call for things like canned tomatoes or beans, etc. It doesn't have to be all organic and expensive. Eggs and beans are great staples in a clean diet! Both cheap! Hang in there!!

BrettPGH

First thing you have to do is relax. First and foremost.

You're going to lose weight the MFP way. Slow and for good. So there's no reason to weigh yourself so much. You're only going to lose a little at a time. The right way. So forget the scale.

There's no magic secret. You don't need to know your TDEE and BMR and buy an HRM this minute. You need to do two things.

1. Log your food at keep your calories where they're supposed to be.

2. Move you body. Some exercise, any exercise.

That's it. That's all you need. Everything else is just extra. For now just do those two things. Meet your calorie goal, move your body. No tricks. No pills or shakes. No secret. Watch your cals and exercise.

EDIT: This is all advice for healthy weight loss. But you're already at a healthy BMI and shouldn't be so obsessed. I don't think weight should be your focus. What you could use most is some time with a licensed professional. There's no shame in that. It's the only way you'll truly get healthy. Best of luck to you.

LuckyLeprechaun

If you are struggling with becoming obsessive over weight loss issues, please seek assistance from a qualified professional. I say that with 100% sincerity. These things can threaten your life and health and can be nearly impossible to fight alone.

Best of luck.

CWatermelon

18 is young and you are young.....so it is a good time to get a healthy attitude. It sounds like you may have an eating disorder. Many of us on here have unhealthy relationships with food. Are you in college? Most colleges have counselors who can help and I highly suggest making an appointment to speak of your concerns. You need some perspective from some of us old timers. Be strong and believe in yourself! You can do anything on which you set your mind, Mariposa!

Tami113

I am also 5'2" and your goal weight of 107 seems tiny. a size zero goal seems tiny. everyone has a different frame but according to MFP the healthy weight for 5'2" is between 101 and 137. have you talked with your doctor about what your goal weight should be? my doc said i should shoot for 140 because i have a larger frame even though i am only 5'2". i am not a doctor and i am not a trainer but i think that you should work on maintenance instead of losing. make small changes in your eating habits, like stop drinking soda (that was one of my first things to stop about 10 years ago) or stop eating white enriched breads or add at least one fruit to your meal plan everyday. crashing is a curse we all seem to go through but it can be broken. as the other posters have said keep your chin up and don't beat yourself up about it. negativity breeds negative results. we are a huge supportive network,

carld256

It seems like you have some issues you need to deal with. Your obsession with the scale is definitely a warning sign. Get to a point where you feel okay with yourself and then tackle the food issues.

BurtHuttz

It sounds like you know what's going wrong, that it's going to make you unhealthy.
You want to weigh less, you can cut off limbs and shave your head bald.
You don't want that.

Here are some suggestions.

You are allowed to weigh yourself once a week. That's it. That's the rule now.

Then, calculate your BMR it's what your body needs to survive. Never eat less than that. You might feel like it's a lot of food, but your perspective is compromised. Never eat less than that. Your body really, really needs it.

Next, stop worry about looking a certain way for now. Worry about feeling good, being healthy. Healthy is attractive, healthy is good. "Skinny" is what disease and drugs look like. Think healthy, think fit, think strong.

Once you do this for a while, your body will start giving you cues about when it needs what kinds nutrients - your hunger response is probably all whacked out now if you've been damaging yourself. Once your body starts giving you those cues, listen to it; if you're exercising, you've got to fuel it.

mommajolynn

hun you know I'm here if you need someone to talk too!

I will be happy to tell you that you ARE doing ok. You WON'T bulk up (almost impossible for us gals)
I may not be the best at eating (as I shove lasagna in my mouth....) but I'm still loosing weight
Its not about eating clean.. its about eating how you want BUT with restrictions
and walking.

I'm here for you hun ok? just send me a message and I will gt back asap.

One thing I did to help me was I put post its up on my mirror with a lot of sayings that I like
"Never give up"
"Today is the day you will succeed"
"Live long and Prosper"
"You are awesome!"

and other such things. I look at those every morning and say them in my head.
I only weigh ONCE a week at most. Sometimes not even that much. And I give myself a breather now and then.

Cheri_Moves

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much with this. I can understand the obsession, although I like to call mine "passion"

Everyone's right... its a mindset, first and foremost. That is where drive, determination, passion and dedication all live! A healthy balance though is the key to success... and success is NOT JUST WEIGHT LOSS! Its about feeling good being YOU, being truly healthy; mind, body and spirit... Its about living life for today.

Feel free to add me, Ive turned my life around 180 degrees in the past year. But I EAT. I am no longer afraid of calories, because calories are fuel, and when I deprive my body of them, my body just adjusts to my new "lower" dose of fuel to keep living. Not a good thing at all! I get light headed, dizzy, weight loss STALLS, training is awful hard...

I hope the very best for you!!!

BigDaddyBRC

Hope this helps....
Here is how I approached everything at the beginning:
1) THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in changing to a healthy lifestyle is Mental. REALIZE where you are (it appears you have this), VISUALIZE what it is you WANT, CHOOSE to get it (This is far easier to say than do), Take ACTION upon the right choices which bring you to SUCCESS. Without being MENTALLY FOCUSED, you will not succeed.

2) Your Diet - this is not some Fad bullcrap that you are going to do for 8 or 12 weeks and think....wow, Im going to lose to so much and then be able to go back to how you ate before. THIS IS A LIFESTYLE. Remember that a Diet is the regular regimen of nutritional intake. Your diet is the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT part of your journey. Want to eat a Twinkie...hell, yes...eat that spongie goodness. Just know that you need to maintain or Top Priority of Goals - Caloric Intake. Without having your DIET right, you will NOT succeed.

3) Move your body. I dont know your overall physical condition..but overall, you will do better with exercise. And with Exercising, BUILD MUSCLE. If you do not, your body will ravage what muscle mass you still have, leading you on a "Skinny Fat" path. Additionally, by building muscle mass, you WILL BURN FAT FASTER. You dont need to bulk up, but you do need to build it.

4) YOU ARE YOUR OWN MOTIVATION. This falls back on #1. If YOU don't want it, YOU will not get it. OWN UP, OWN THE CHOICE. OWN THE ACTION. OWN THE SUCCESS!

5) Last and foremost....THERE ARE NO HEALTHY SHORTCUTS, MAGIC PILLS, LIQUIDS OR MAGIC PEE that will make this quicker. This is a journey to a new you. Stay Focused, Determined, Take ACTION and SUCCEED!

EDIT - EVERY Moment is what you Create. Make it Greatness.

SmallBodyBigHeart

To answer all of your question. Yes I am in school and yes my school does have a counselors, honestly I don't think I'll ever have enough courage to go and talk to her about something like this. My doctor is okay with my weight, I know when I went to her a couple months ago (I weighed more than) she told me to kind of watch what I eat because I was close to be in an unhealthy BMI range. I can almost fit into my size 0 pants they just won’t buckle. I was hesitant to post that one of my goals was to be a size zero because I know that a size zero is looked down upon and looked as unhealthy but I don’t think it is.

SmallBodyBigHeart

Step #1: Every day, say 5 things you love about yourself and 5 things you are grateful for.

Seriously. Your mind set is likely holding you back. You see yourself as a failure and your situation as hopeless. It's not. Start changing your mind set to that of a victor, not a victim.

I have so many journal laying around and inside of them are like little notes and lists of things that I like about myself and whatnot. I always try to post positive things on my wall and mirror and read them aloud but I only do it for like 3 days and then stop. But I really do want to get better so I will try harder this time.

SmallBodyBigHeart

Step 2 take that scale and throw that evil little jerk in the trash

You can afford to eat clean. You dont have to buy super overpriced crap at whole foods to eat clean. And just eat the exercise calories back. When I started doing that within a week the weight started sliding right off again.

I'm putting the scale in the garage tomorrow. I so buy a lot of frozen veggies...could that count as clean eating ?

OnTheWayToPerfection

Before I start I just want to ask that you don’t judge me. Please don’t turn this thread into a joke, I know that there are a lot of “comedians” on here and I love your humor but I don’t need it on this thread. I know what I’ve been doing is wrong and I don’t need anyone coming on here and saying “why didn’t you listen”, “blah blah blah”. All I want is help. I’ve never liked asking for help because I always seem to get judged. Please don’t judge me, please just help.

Well, I don’t know where to start. I’m making this post because I want help. I’m sick of my unhealthy eating habits. I’m sick of depriving my body of the nutrients it needs and wants. I’m sick of seeing a low number on the scale one day and not seeing that number for long. I’m sick of “crash dieting”. I want help and I need help. I know that if I start treating my body right I will reach my goals and not only that I will be able to maintain my goals. I might not reach them as soon as I want to but I know that I will. I’m just sick of seeing temporary results, I’m sick of being depressed, out of energy, and just so emotional. I can’t believe I let this take over my life. The first thing I do when I get up every morning is go and run to the scale. This has taken over my life. Right after work I go straight home and get on the scale, or go and look up things weight loss related. I’m sick of living like this and I want control. I’ve tried to get my life back many times before on my own but it didn’t work and so I’m coming to you all asking for help. I fear gaining weight, I fearing bulking up, I fear not staying slim, and I fear calories. Sometimes I feel like the only way to get that “slim” look is to either eat clean (which I don’t have the money to do) or “crash diet” which doesn’t work. I hate it so much. I deleted a lot of my friends on here because I want to get better and in order to get better I know I have to take some things out of my life. I even updated my info box on my page so I can attract the right kinds of friends. I’ve taken a few small steps to get better; I just need help with taking the next step which is eating more. My diary is open so you can go and see how I’ve been eating and on my page in my info box you can see my goals and stats. I know they say start increasing your calories slowly to avoid gaining weight but does that mean adding 50 cals a day or 100 a week; I’m still kind of confused about that. For my exercise I do everything, I run, I do the Jillian Michael’s workouts, I do dance workouts, and I love doing yoga and Pilates. Every time I attempt to change my life around it never last. I want it to last. Please send me friend request so I can surround myself around healthy people, please just tell me all I need to know. I apologize for not using this site correctly and for abusing it. I want to be like that butterfly in my picture, I want to enjoy life and be free and healthy. I’m ready for it. Thanks in advance for all the help, it really took me a lot to just open up and admit that I’ve been doing things the wrong way. Thanks again.

First and foremost, I must say it is absoultely ridiculous that you (we) have to be worried about people making fun and joking. I know how it is around here, and people are mean and know-it-alls! Not very pleasant. I also must say that in the weight loss world, people DO lose weight differently, so don't let others beat you down.

Anyway, I know how hard it is. It takes a lot of dedication and persistance. Honestly, this is this first thing that I've MADE myself be dedicated to, and now it's easier to dedicate myself to other things. I was a super unhealthy eater, but as soon as I started making small changes, it became a habit and one that I now feel bad about breaking! I fully believe that I've made a LIFESTYLE change!

Here are the little things I did that added up:

-I still eat steak, but choose steamed veggies over fries
-I still eat my chocolate, but eat half and save the other for tomorrow. Treat!
-I mainly switched unhealthy snacks for healthy ones when I got the munchies. Oranges are my favorite and so sweet! Cucumbers, grapes, cantelope
-Sometimes I take a small walk after I eat
-I started off exercising 7 days a week to Jillian Michaels. I've slacked off a bit and now taking aerobics classes 3 days a week. Maybe a bike ride, run, or JM on my off days.
-Special K chocolately chip cookie bars are my chocolate overdose favorites! At 90 calories!

A bit of advice, don't follow all of the fads like juicing and stuff. Just make minor changes and those small changes will lead to bigger changes.

Good luck and feel free to add me

MB_Positif

Step 2 take that scale and throw that evil little jerk in the trash

You can afford to eat clean. You dont have to buy super overpriced crap at whole foods to eat clean. And just eat the exercise calories back. When I started doing that within a week the weight started sliding right off again.

I'm putting the scale in the garage tomorrow. I so buy a lot of frozen veggies...could that count as clean eating ?

frozen veggies are absolutely clean! just check the label and make sure there isn't salt added. stay away from the ones that have cheese or butter sauces!