what to do... hubby only eats crap!

mandiibayybee

Hii there. Ok so my hubby says he supports me on my weight loss journey, but doesn't want to have him suffer, he unlike me has a very high metabolism and can eat whatever he wants and as much as he wants. But he likes to eat out all the time, and really crappy food. Like to him dinner is a whole bag of cheeses! That's over 1500 calories!! And I'm trying to be healthier because I want this soo bad for myself, and I'm trying to tell him I'm not making him suffer. He can still have his junk food and crap he eats. I have fairly strong willpower. I just wish he would be more willing to spend our money on healthier food than crap.. thanks for the vent!

Marll

I suppose it really depends on the definition of crap, but seems to me that as long as he's supportive and not actively sabotaging your efforts you can just let it go. Introduce healthier fare to him over time and you may see a change in attitude if the food that you are introducing is more full of flavor than what he's currently eating.

As far as his idea of a bag of cheeses being a healthy meal....I'm not sure what the problem is there. I'd be more concerned if he just ate french fries, breaded fried food and boxed meals like mac and cheese all the time.

cmeade20

Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.

Kiswinning

I have sort of the same problem, only my husband can't afford to eat crap. He doesn't consciously try to sabotage me but since I travel so much on my job he does the shopping. My fridge is packed. How can I get him to eat better with me??

IrishChik

My hubby was the same until he had some blood work done and found how his blood pressure is through the roof and his triglycerides are 3 times that of a normal person, we are talking in the 1000s. Basically he is on meds now, but if he doesn't take them at this point he could have a heart attack any day. All because he ate nothing but crap his whole life. Never bothered with nutrition. If it tasted good, he ate it. No matter how good it tastes, he still salts it. Didn't matter. Now we are working with a dietician to teach him proper nutrition so he can control his diet and get off the meds. He has also trained in jujitsu for the last 20 years and mma style for the last 10. So he is pretty active. You can still be fit and be unhealthy.

mamaomefo

Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.

I love this! He'll come around, hopefully because he cares about your health, and if not, he can fix his own. He's an adult.

Saiklor

The money thing can be tricky, when I lived with my boyfriend it irked me that he wanted meatloaf and frozen brussel sprouts every single day for lunch (it was healthy options so I REALLY didn't want to rock the boat!) but the cost of all that ground meat and single-serving packaged frozen veggies was astronomical which meant we couldn't afford things *I* wanted.

Eventually we had a sit-down talk about how much it all cost, it was akward but we broke it down, meal for meal, and discovered we were spending more than 50% of the budget on food ONLY HE ate, and the other 50% on things we both ate (dinner and staples) and things only I ate (the diet coke, the lean cuisines, etc). So then we adjusted, he had meatloaf a couple of times a week and we got cheaper side dishes and sometimes he had canned tuna instead of meatloaf.

Anyway, I recommend sitting down and discussing the budget if the monetary side of things are out of whack. I'm not saying it has to be completely split 50/50, but a good discussion about where the money is going can be eye-opening!

magerum

I made it a point to make sure my life style change wasn't a burden on anyone else. When I was eating sugar free jello and my spouse was eating Oreo's I just sucked it up. It's my burden not theirs. That's the approach I took. Eventually you'll see they'll make changes on their own.

Welsh_Rarebit

Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.

This gets my vote too! You could offer to add a few extras more to his taste, but the main meal should be the same healthy stuff you are eating!

Healthymom207

Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.

That's what I did, he can eat crap if he wants, but I don't have too. So sometimes he makes his own dinner, so I don't have to cook 3 seperate dinner (one for him, one for my picky toddler, and one for me). This past week though he has ate what I have made and said it wasn't that bad. There are some resaurants that have a healthy menu section (chili's is one), your hubby can pig out on ribs and you can eat a more healthier grilled chicken.

Dorkaleena

My husband loves crap food. Filler food. Spaghetti, anything with LOTS of rice, one dish meals and casseroles. Chips... and OMG THE ICE CREAM.

I love all that stuff too so we had a LONG talk after I first started trying to get healthier. I told him I won't force my way of eating on him, but I'd REALLY appreciate it if he kept most of his "Crap eating" out of the house. He agreed and things are MUCH easier. He still keeps ice cream in the freezer, and yes, I serve it for him because that's what I DO, but I can handle it. I eat some watermelon or cantaloupe to cure the sweet craving that it usually brings on and he has his ice cream. Not having to deal with all the OTHER junk in the house makes the ice cream thing easier to deal with. Maybe you guys could come to some sort of similar agreement.

IronSmasher

Just be awesome and happy, eventually he'll want to be too.

jessicae1aine

Try meal planning - keep some of his "crap" for side dishes for him, and make yourself a healthy alternative, but share the main course (also healthy, of course).

DeterminedAshley

Buy some frozen yogurt and skinny cow ice cream...he will fall in love and not even realize it is better for him!
There are many options like that..hope that helped

Crochetluvr

I made it a point to make sure my life style change wasn't a burden on anyone else. When I was eating sugar free jello and my spouse was eating Oreo's I just sucked it up. It's my burden not theirs.

^^^This. I eat the sugar free Jell-O and the b/f will have a bowl of grapes.....then a bunch of peanuts.....then some BBQ chips.....then some ice cream. I deal because he has no weight problem and never will.

ChassityGetsFit

My husband is the same way! He's in the army and since he goes to the gym everyday and works on his feet then can pretty much eat whatever he wants and it doesn't matter. I've tried losing weight around him and I just can't! My willpower right now isn't that strong though and so I have a hard time resisting pizza when he wants to order it, it's his fave. He recently went overseas and before he left he wanted as much "good food" as he could get his hands on. To him that so called good food was McDonald's, Pizza, and anything else that was super fattening and not healthy at all! It wasn't until he left that I managed to lose that I've lost so far. He says he's supportive and all that but still brings the food in the house when I've asked him not to. I told him he can eat all the candy and stuff he buys as long as he eats it before he gets home and not bring it to the house, but he seemed to do it anyway! But, now that he's been overseas he sees how good I'm doing and knows that I can't do it if he's going to be eating junk! I made it clear to him that I need him to work with me on the food issues and we'll have to compromise on how we are going to do this! If he wants to go out to eat then it can only happen once a week or so. Try working compromises like that out with your husband, maybe! See if he will lay off of the eating out and maybe only do it once or even twice a week if you guys like that. Other than that, I know sometimes I will make dinner and make things that my husband and kids like but that I won't eat and I'll either just not put that one thing on my plate or eat something else if I have to! I'm realizing that it's ok to eat different things, that we don't all have to have the same dinner, as long as we are getting what we need! If you are doing good resisting those unhealthy things he's eating then let him eat it and you eat what you want. If it's a matter of money (you mentioned you wanted to spend more on healthy stuff), maybe budget a certain amount of money to his likes and a certain amount to what you want. I'm realizing you can't force anyone to eat the way you would like them to. Just like the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink! When he's ready, maybe he'll join you!

munkysmama

My husband is the same way. In the beginning, I refused to make separate meals, so he would eat whatever I prepared, and usually follow it up with a "treat." He didn't complain, but he later told me that he was pretty unhappy with what I was feeding him.

A friend introduced me to the site skinnytaste.com, and that has made life so much simpler. There are tons of delicious recipes, but they are prepared in a healthier manner. My husband couldn't believe it when I told him the baked potato soup was actually mostly cauliflower! I still make all of the dishes he loves, but without all of the fat and sodium.

His vice is sweets, and mine is salty snacks. I still buy his cookies and ice cream, (which don't tempt me) and avoid buying the things that are hard for me to say no to.

Pedal_Pusher

You eat what you want. He eats what he wants. Problem solved.

mandiibayybee

Thanks for all the great advice! I don't want him to stop eating what he wants and if he chooses to eat healthier too bonus! It's his body. But if the food he buys and orders is only crap then I have no food. And I don't want to starve myself so he can eat a lot of food, that's not so healthy food at that. But I tried talking to him about this yesterday. And he got upset saying its not his fault he can enjoy what he wants and I have to watch what I eat. And that's not even what I'm trying to ask of him. I'm just asking for healthier food being bought .. so I can eat too.

ChantalGG

I do the groceries, and cook so he eats what i feed him. Anything else that he eats that is his thing. You are going to be fit and feeling great and he may want to catch up to you eventually.

betteringmyselfeachday

Well he might not be gaining weight with his unhealthy habits, but who knwos what his cholesterol and stuff is at!

Eating healthy is beneficial to everyone, not those who are overweight! I have the same problem with my BF who wants to eat sodas, drink beer, a bunch of dinner rolls, etc.

I have slowly started making him more and more aware of what he is consuming!

I wish you the best!

robpett2001

I agree with all of the suggestions to not worry about his choices, and just continue to make good choices for yourself...and I like the suggestion about fixing a healthy main dish, with some of his "crappy" side dishes.

So I don't have much to add, except to say -- speaking as a formerly-skinny, scrawny, 20-something who amazed his friends at how much he could eat ("where do you PUT it all, man?") -- his eating habits WILL creep up on him, slowly and unnoticed. There is no question about this. He doesn't have magic powers. 10, 15, maybe 20 years from now, he'll look down and realize he can't see his feet.

But again, you can't change anyone else, so do what you need to do for yourself and perhaps be a quietly successful role model for him, but don't expect that you can MAKE him change.

Best wishes to you!

Im_NotPerfect

This is your journey, not his. Go grocery shopping together...put what you want in the cart and he puts what he wants in. Simple as that. If you can only afford a little of each, compromise and get something for each of you. That's what marriage is about anyway. I eat greek yogurt but my hubby won't go near it. However, he will eat normal yogurt. So we each get what we want.

Not really sure what you were looking for in an answer, but really...why should HIS eating affect your journey??

Im_NotPerfect

Thanks for all the great advice! I don't want him to stop eating what he wants and if he chooses to eat healthier too bonus! It's his body. But if the food he buys and orders is only crap then I have no food. And I don't want to starve myself so he can eat a lot of food, that's not so healthy food at that. But I tried talking to him about this yesterday. And he got upset saying its not his fault he can enjoy what he wants and I have to watch what I eat. And that's not even what I'm trying to ask of him. I'm just asking for healthier food being bought .. so I can eat too.

If he does the grocery shopping, give him a list of things you want! Or go WITH him. Make it a joint effort. He may not know what TO get. He's only going off of habit.

zaithyr

My hubby is a junk food lover as well! Since money is tight, that has been a motivation for him to eat at home more instead of going out (and thankfully he works close enough to home that he can come home on lunch breaks). He eats what I cook, but still whines for me to get snacks for him at the store or he'll stop by the store after work and come home with soda and ice cream and chips (the other day he came home with Butterfinger ice cream- my favorite!! I could've killed him haha). Basically, as much as my hubby loves junk food, he hates cooking even more so I get more nutritious meals in him than he'd probably get if he were on his own. Lay out the cost of all that eating out and that may help!

WaxMama

lol I feel your pain... My hubby eats anything and everything and has always been fit. He's got a physical job and a super fast metabolism! Honestly though, I don't let what he's eating get to me. In fact, I've had quite a few NSV's when he's shoved food in my face and I've simply passed on it... My only concern is HIS health, not MY willpower! I mean, you can't possibly be healthy when you eat fast food hambergers 5 days a week and drink nothing but soda. But what can I do? I cook healthy and he'll eat it... and I can't control what he eats on his work lunch break. Just let it go and know how strong you are when you simply look at what he's eating and shake your head!

skinnypigeon

I must say my husband is pretty flexible, but at the beginning there was conflict. I only cook vegetarian healthy meals in the house, all the snacks and anything I bring in is healthy. He is welcome to eat whatever he wants, but he needs to A. buy it himself and B. not keep it in the house. He has finally come around and accepted this as a rule and makes him feel a lot less guilty ordering the bacon cheeseburger when we go out, since he is eating healthy 90% of the time.

I also found that educating him about why its healthy (not just weight loss) helped him see things differently. He didn't need to lose an ounce, but his habits had to change. Now he makes better decisions going out too. Watching "Forks over Knives" helped him see the light.

Good luck, and I hope he does get on board, cause in reality him having poor health will affect you in the long run. Medical bills, heart-disease, cancer, early death...scary stuff. He should want to be healthy for you and the whole family!

mandiibayybee

My husband is the same way! He's in the army and since he goes to the gym everyday and works on his feet then can pretty much eat whatever he wants and it doesn't matter. I've tried losing weight around him and I just can't! My willpower right now isn't that strong though and so I have a hard time resisting pizza when he wants to order it, it's his fave. He recently went overseas and before he left he wanted as much "good food" as he could get his hands on. To him that so called good food was McDonald's, Pizza, and anything else that was super fattening and not healthy at all! It wasn't until he left that I managed to lose that I've lost so far. He says he's supportive and all that but still brings the food in the house when I've asked him not to. I told him he can eat all the candy and stuff he buys as long as he eats it before he gets home and not bring it to the house, but he seemed to do it anyway! But, now that he's been overseas he sees how good I'm doing and knows that I can't do it if he's going to be eating junk! I made it clear to him that I need him to work with me on the food issues and we'll have to compromise on how we are going to do this! If he wants to go out to eat then it can only happen once a week or so. Try working compromises like that out with your husband, maybe! See if he will lay off of the eating out and maybe only do it once or even twice a week if you guys like that. Other than that, I know sometimes I will make dinner and make things that my husband and kids like but that I won't eat and I'll either just not put that one thing on my plate or eat something else if I have to! I'm realizing that it's ok to eat different things, that we don't all have to have the same dinner, as long as we are getting what we need! If you are doing good resisting those unhealthy things he's eating then let him eat it and you eat what you want. If it's a matter of money (you mentioned you wanted to spend more on healthy stuff), maybe budget a certain amount of money to his likes and a certain amount to what you want. I'm realizing you can't force anyone to eat the way you would like them to. Just like the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink! When he's ready, maybe he'll join you!

Thank you. The separate budget thing sounds like a good idea. Just have a seprate budget of my own food.

TripleJ3

My husband is a self-proclaimed fast-food addict! And yes, he could eat tacos for days...

I am not his Mother, so he can make his own choices. I make what I make and on the nights he is home I try to make things I know he will like. I have even gotten him more open to try newish things. He knows my stance on the importance of health, I know his. He has even told me and our girls how he wished his Mom would've made him try new things when he was younger.

Our daughters have me to teach them about health and Daddy to show them how to splurge/treat yourself. He backs me up of course. He knows health is important but he says he is too lazy to care about it for himself. My girls like Taco Bell and McDonalds, I do not so once a month or less its their time with Daddy and Mommy's time to not have to make a meal!

Ke22yB

I buy most of the groceries and do almost all the cooking she will eat what I make and if she wants things for herself she makes them
for instance last nite grilled chicken seasoned with different mccormick spices cut up peppers tomatoes celery and carrots steamed mixed veggies frozen
we finished dinner she went into the kitchen and put 2 servings of french fries into the toaster oven for her her life her body
she is doing it the way she wants I do it the way I want so all is good

Cherbear67

My husband also has a high metabolism and can eat anything and everything he wants.. He loves his junk and continues to buy it but at least I do have him eating half decently healthy right down to a protein shake for breakfast. He refuses to eat breakfast so at least I am getting him to start his day off right.. The rest of it I don't worry about anymore.. I do my own thing..lol