what to do... hubby only eats crap!

robpett2001

I agree with all of the suggestions to not worry about his choices, and just continue to make good choices for yourself...and I like the suggestion about fixing a healthy main dish, with some of his "crappy" side dishes.

So I don't have much to add, except to say -- speaking as a formerly-skinny, scrawny, 20-something who amazed his friends at how much he could eat ("where do you PUT it all, man?") -- his eating habits WILL creep up on him, slowly and unnoticed. There is no question about this. He doesn't have magic powers. 10, 15, maybe 20 years from now, he'll look down and realize he can't see his feet.

But again, you can't change anyone else, so do what you need to do for yourself and perhaps be a quietly successful role model for him, but don't expect that you can MAKE him change.

Best wishes to you!

Im_NotPerfect

This is your journey, not his. Go grocery shopping together...put what you want in the cart and he puts what he wants in. Simple as that. If you can only afford a little of each, compromise and get something for each of you. That's what marriage is about anyway. I eat greek yogurt but my hubby won't go near it. However, he will eat normal yogurt. So we each get what we want.

Not really sure what you were looking for in an answer, but really...why should HIS eating affect your journey??

Im_NotPerfect

Thanks for all the great advice! I don't want him to stop eating what he wants and if he chooses to eat healthier too bonus! It's his body. But if the food he buys and orders is only crap then I have no food. And I don't want to starve myself so he can eat a lot of food, that's not so healthy food at that. But I tried talking to him about this yesterday. And he got upset saying its not his fault he can enjoy what he wants and I have to watch what I eat. And that's not even what I'm trying to ask of him. I'm just asking for healthier food being bought .. so I can eat too.

If he does the grocery shopping, give him a list of things you want! Or go WITH him. Make it a joint effort. He may not know what TO get. He's only going off of habit.

zaithyr

My hubby is a junk food lover as well! Since money is tight, that has been a motivation for him to eat at home more instead of going out (and thankfully he works close enough to home that he can come home on lunch breaks). He eats what I cook, but still whines for me to get snacks for him at the store or he'll stop by the store after work and come home with soda and ice cream and chips (the other day he came home with Butterfinger ice cream- my favorite!! I could've killed him haha). Basically, as much as my hubby loves junk food, he hates cooking even more so I get more nutritious meals in him than he'd probably get if he were on his own. Lay out the cost of all that eating out and that may help!

WaxMama

lol I feel your pain... My hubby eats anything and everything and has always been fit. He's got a physical job and a super fast metabolism! Honestly though, I don't let what he's eating get to me. In fact, I've had quite a few NSV's when he's shoved food in my face and I've simply passed on it... My only concern is HIS health, not MY willpower! I mean, you can't possibly be healthy when you eat fast food hambergers 5 days a week and drink nothing but soda. But what can I do? I cook healthy and he'll eat it... and I can't control what he eats on his work lunch break. Just let it go and know how strong you are when you simply look at what he's eating and shake your head!

skinnypigeon

I must say my husband is pretty flexible, but at the beginning there was conflict. I only cook vegetarian healthy meals in the house, all the snacks and anything I bring in is healthy. He is welcome to eat whatever he wants, but he needs to A. buy it himself and B. not keep it in the house. He has finally come around and accepted this as a rule and makes him feel a lot less guilty ordering the bacon cheeseburger when we go out, since he is eating healthy 90% of the time.

I also found that educating him about why its healthy (not just weight loss) helped him see things differently. He didn't need to lose an ounce, but his habits had to change. Now he makes better decisions going out too. Watching "Forks over Knives" helped him see the light.

Good luck, and I hope he does get on board, cause in reality him having poor health will affect you in the long run. Medical bills, heart-disease, cancer, early death...scary stuff. He should want to be healthy for you and the whole family!

mandiibayybee

My husband is the same way! He's in the army and since he goes to the gym everyday and works on his feet then can pretty much eat whatever he wants and it doesn't matter. I've tried losing weight around him and I just can't! My willpower right now isn't that strong though and so I have a hard time resisting pizza when he wants to order it, it's his fave. He recently went overseas and before he left he wanted as much "good food" as he could get his hands on. To him that so called good food was McDonald's, Pizza, and anything else that was super fattening and not healthy at all! It wasn't until he left that I managed to lose that I've lost so far. He says he's supportive and all that but still brings the food in the house when I've asked him not to. I told him he can eat all the candy and stuff he buys as long as he eats it before he gets home and not bring it to the house, but he seemed to do it anyway! But, now that he's been overseas he sees how good I'm doing and knows that I can't do it if he's going to be eating junk! I made it clear to him that I need him to work with me on the food issues and we'll have to compromise on how we are going to do this! If he wants to go out to eat then it can only happen once a week or so. Try working compromises like that out with your husband, maybe! See if he will lay off of the eating out and maybe only do it once or even twice a week if you guys like that. Other than that, I know sometimes I will make dinner and make things that my husband and kids like but that I won't eat and I'll either just not put that one thing on my plate or eat something else if I have to! I'm realizing that it's ok to eat different things, that we don't all have to have the same dinner, as long as we are getting what we need! If you are doing good resisting those unhealthy things he's eating then let him eat it and you eat what you want. If it's a matter of money (you mentioned you wanted to spend more on healthy stuff), maybe budget a certain amount of money to his likes and a certain amount to what you want. I'm realizing you can't force anyone to eat the way you would like them to. Just like the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink! When he's ready, maybe he'll join you!

Thank you. The separate budget thing sounds like a good idea. Just have a seprate budget of my own food.

TripleJ3

My husband is a self-proclaimed fast-food addict! And yes, he could eat tacos for days...

I am not his Mother, so he can make his own choices. I make what I make and on the nights he is home I try to make things I know he will like. I have even gotten him more open to try newish things. He knows my stance on the importance of health, I know his. He has even told me and our girls how he wished his Mom would've made him try new things when he was younger.

Our daughters have me to teach them about health and Daddy to show them how to splurge/treat yourself. He backs me up of course. He knows health is important but he says he is too lazy to care about it for himself. My girls like Taco Bell and McDonalds, I do not so once a month or less its their time with Daddy and Mommy's time to not have to make a meal!

Ke22yB

I buy most of the groceries and do almost all the cooking she will eat what I make and if she wants things for herself she makes them
for instance last nite grilled chicken seasoned with different mccormick spices cut up peppers tomatoes celery and carrots steamed mixed veggies frozen
we finished dinner she went into the kitchen and put 2 servings of french fries into the toaster oven for her her life her body
she is doing it the way she wants I do it the way I want so all is good

Cherbear67

My husband also has a high metabolism and can eat anything and everything he wants.. He loves his junk and continues to buy it but at least I do have him eating half decently healthy right down to a protein shake for breakfast. He refuses to eat breakfast so at least I am getting him to start his day off right.. The rest of it I don't worry about anymore.. I do my own thing..lol

AlayshaJ

...Men buy food at the grocery store?

....Men make themselves food?

...Men choose what their meals are?

....I am so confused...

Beezil

Hii there. Ok so my hubby says he supports me on my weight loss journey, but doesn't want to have him suffer, he unlike me has a very high metabolism and can eat whatever he wants and as much as he wants. But he likes to eat out all the time, and really crappy food. Like to him dinner is a whole bag of cheeses! That's over 1500 calories!! And I'm trying to be healthier because I want this soo bad for myself, and I'm trying to tell him I'm not making him suffer. He can still have his junk food and crap he eats. I have fairly strong willpower. I just wish he would be more willing to spend our money on healthier food than crap.. thanks for the vent!

My husband was the same way for a while - he still eats a lot of crap food, but I don't mind since he needs to put on weight. I at least have gotten him to live without salt, for the most part. Cook him healthy meals and let him have bigger portions. Use real, good fats, like olive oil and real butter in your cooking. You gotta show him that healthy food can be delicious. I make a yummy meatloaf my husband loves, and my homemade, low-salt marinara sauce is delicious according to him. Just try different things out and I'm sure eventually he will come around to WANTING more home cooked, healthier meals.

mandiibayybee

...Men buy food at the grocery store?

....Men make themselves food?

...Men choose what their meals are?

....I am so confused...
[/quote
My hubby does all the cooking. Well did, I'm cooking for myself and son now. Just learning though. And we usually do groceries together. But I let him pick out the food cause he.cooks. lol

determined2lose89

I have been battling with this with my fiance ever since I started to want to lose weight. At first, he was with me on this. He lost about 20lbs then quit and gained some back. When he quit, all the crap food started to drift back into the house.... the best thing I try to do is when we go grocery shopping (I pay for groceries) I tell him if he wants it, he has to join a seperate line up and pay for it himself. It is very rare that we will actually go do that lol! Now he usually just eats crap outside the house!

Bobby_Clerici

Sorry, but too bad - so sad...life is never fair.
He gets to eat what he wants, and you and I do not. If I just smell a BK Whopper, you can hear me getting fatter. Oh well...Folks like us need to just SUCK IT UP!
Don't rain on his parade just because you're on a diet. We must do what we must do, but the rest of planet earth will just keep turning. It is unreasonable to expect others to pander to our weaknesses. I am in your boat, so I get it, but I also live in reality.
They don't care.
Così è la vita :drinker:

KyliAnnHobson

My husband is exactly the same! I had to gradually build up my willpower and now I can ignore all of his junk food around the house. I still eat fast food with him on the weekends occasionally, but for the most part, we eat separately. You can do it!

boldtsmith

Watch the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" and either do what Kathy Bates did and just serve healthy meals...TAWANDA!

Or do what Idgy did and eat your hubby...the secret's in the sauce :bigsmile:

TheArmadillo

If him doing the shopping and buying only the stuff he wants is the problem - can you do it together, or if that's not possible can you draw up the shopping list together?

When me and my husband first lived together we each cooked for ourselves as I was vege at the time (no longer) and he ate only meat and value noodles (seperately). So for him dinner would either be value noodles or a plate of sausages and some brown sauce (seriously not even carbs added).

When we had the boy I stopped being vege and through necessity I started cooking for both of us. But we'd have separate side dishes depending on preference (i.e. no veg for him :huh: ). However I was also eating badly so cooking badly. I am fat - he is skinny and always has been.

Well the boy is now 7 years old and we have a girl as well and dinner time is very much family time. I do the cooking and shopping, cos, well I can cook and budget. I will buy him crap but it is limited - e.g. he gets one packet of biscuits a week. He is an adult with access to a bank account so could buy more but chooses not to as he thinks it would be a slippery slope. Also we are on a very tight budget and he appreciates if he wants me to do all the work with it then he can't go out and spend money willy nilly.

I plan all the meals, but I do take his tastes into account - so no cauliflower or mushrooms (at least not for him), no cheese/cream/milk based sauces, no fatty meat (or at least easily removeable fat), no fish, no vegetarian food, no couscous, no baked or boiled potatoes. Lots of spicy food and strong flavours (he doesn't have much of a sense of taste) plus bottle of chilli sauce on the table I stick onions, peppers and spinach in a tomato sauce with meat and plenty of spices. He'll eat that with brown rice. I've found he'll eat salad leaves but only dark ones like rocket/spinach/watercress and he does cover them in chilli sauce as a salad dressing. He eats leftovers for lunch in wraps - or I bulk make chilli con carne or chilli burgers and stock up the freezer.

He still eats pain au chocolate or similar for breakfast (but has actually started eating breakfast). And never eats 5 portions of fruit/veg a day. He insists on full sugar coke (and gets through a litre or more a day). He eats a packet of biscuits a week plus sweets and often has popcorn in an evening.

He is now up to a healthy body weight. But it has taken years for his diet to improve and it is entirely up to him. I will only cook one evening meal but I won't give him anything he hates. And he does go out once a week and have fast food. He is actually learning to cook, slowly. Sometimes he suggests stuff for our weekly menu and I will do it. He's going to be 30 this year and I think he is finally thinking about his health (plus the men in his family tend to be skinny in their youth and then the weight starts piling on at 40 which I think scares him).

He doesn't really sabotage me as I don't tend to like the same crappy food (he likes sweet/I like savoury) luckily. Plus he would never 'rub it in my face' - he is really supportive.

You cannot do it for them. YOu can just make it easier for them to do.

mluntz

My husband is the same way ( can eat whatever he wants ). I don't think its fair for you to expect him to eat the same as you or to give up his junk food (which you already said you aren't doing), however I think if you have sat down with him and explained your struggle to him, then as your husband and partner he should want to help you as much as he can. It is all about balance in my opinion. I agree with early posts about cooking yourself a separate dinner ( I do this often, just pop some chicken breasts in the oven and some veggies), but also maybe 1 or 2 nights a week he could eat "your dinner" with you. As for eating out, I just ask that we go somewhere that has lighter menu options (most places do) and don't get any appetizers. And I don't think you should just suck it up and too bad, losing weight and changing your lifestyle and eating habits is really hard, especially in the begining. Once you start seeing results and getting close to your goal it gets easier to resist, but I don't think a little help from your **spouse** is to much to ask.

Giantess

Fiancee and I have slowly evolved into a separate meals couple. We take turns making meals for each other, or we both cram into the kitchen and cook at the same time.