ARE YOU TREATED DIFFERENTLY AFTER YOUR WEIGHT LOSS?

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  • swthrtsmrf
    swthrtsmrf Posts: 384
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    I am only half way to my goal weight and I have more confidence in myself. I find that for the first time ever I am being checked out by men other than my husband. I feel weird about that because I have never been or hit on by someone other than him since I was 18. Or maybe even in my skinnier days it was always there and I have never noticed it as he has been my one and only. But after having kids and the weight remained and I lacked self confidence it showed.

    My MIL treats me ruder than she did when I was heavier but that is just her demeanor and our relationship I bellieve.

    I do not view heavy people any different. I cannot help but feel that they can do something about it, they just need to get to the point mentally when they are ready to and they will.
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
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    My husband can't keep his hands off me. And it makes me crazy! OK, I know I wasn't as attractive when I was fatter--- and he stood by me, regardless--- but, a little impulse control, please? LOL how do you tell your husband to back off when he's not really "doing" anything, just touching my leg or my hair or holding my hand all the time.

    I would suggest that you enjoy your husband's affection and be thankful that you have a guy that loves you and wants to touch you more than he does his mistresses and flings. Just sayin...
  • Dayquasar
    Dayquasar Posts: 182 Member
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    I was treated very differently in high school after my weight loss. Most ppl in general are nicer to me, respond well to me, hold the door open, etc. But I've also noticed as I've gotten older and stayed in shape and a lot of my friends/coworkers who are my age and have gained weight and continue with unhealthy habits (and a lot of heavy drinkers in my town) that I'm treated with animosity by a lot of females my age and at work. And I get teased a lot behind my back b/c I'm so enthusiastic about fitness...like they'll say "enjoy that workout! I'm enjoying my fourth glass of wine"..alrighty chick! Better you than me! lol

    Yeah I am there with you on this one^. A lot of people that know and love me are happy for me, but sometimes I get co-workers telling me "it's called food eat it sometime" and I'm just shocked, I eat plenty, I just chose to eat the right things and portion control, and exercise. I think a lot of it is confidence, it makes a difference no matter what your size is. Do what makes you feel good and healthy!
  • Momma_Grizz
    Momma_Grizz Posts: 294 Member
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    Absolutely. When I lost my weight - all of the sudden I wasn't invisible anymore. I went from a size 4X to a size 8 when I reached goal. Being that I was big all my life, I really didn't know how to handle it and it scared me so much that I almost stopped my weight loss. I had to learn how to interact with people. Strangers would make eye contact with me, which really freaked me out. When I was big, it seemed people didn't see me, and I was comfortable melting into the walls. I would talk but no one, except family, would take me seriously. Now, it's different. Which is awful, because I'm still the same person. It's sad to say but it also positively effected my career and I've been there for 30 years - Same person, same job, different weight - only now I have a ton more responsibilities. I haven't changed my style of work, just lost weight. It's probably because my confidence has increased 10 fold because of the weight loss but still I have experienced both sides of the coin.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    People with confidence radiate it and shine just a little brighter than less confident ppl...

    This.

    I lost 40 pounds, not a lot on my 188 cm frame. But definitely noticeable.

    Still, the biggest change is in how I interact with others: I'm much more confident (and I was never timid, believe me). I'm almost sure my posture has gotten better. I've upgraded my wardrobe (and had to have the suits altered a couple of months later, as the weight kept coming off). I flirt with more women, etc.

    Without a doubt, the biggest change has been within myself.

    --P
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    Difference between 175lb (now 166) and when I was 125lb is that big people are now trying to get pally with me offering me their chocolate at work etc, whereas at 125lb they would look down their noses at me and say "you probably don't eat this sort of thing".... At 175lb nobody makes any smart remarks like whether you had half a grape for lunch etc.

    I know what I'd rather be. :huh:
  • BigMomma742
    BigMomma742 Posts: 46 Member
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    My husband can't keep his hands off me. And it makes me crazy! OK, I know I wasn't as attractive when I was fatter--- and he stood by me, regardless--- but, a little impulse control, please? LOL how do you tell your husband to back off when he's not really "doing" anything, just touching my leg or my hair or holding my hand all the time.
    Awwwwwww. He thinks you're beautiful. It's like when I was a lil kid and couldn't stop staring at my new shoes (dint get those very often). Give it time and maybe he'll slow down or you'll start to like it ;)
  • mcpherson4
    mcpherson4 Posts: 287 Member
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    I have a dear friend who lost 100 pounds. I was not losing and it was very hard for me, because bottom line: jealousy. But I remember her telling me how differently she was treated. (ie: doors held open, people smiling, husband's attention) I did not believe her. Even though I had the green eyed monster ALL over me, I thought how can they treat her so differently? She is the same inside. But with the birth of 2 more children the weight returned, it all reversed. She recognized that it was more of a lack of confidence thing, not so much a size thing. It just goes to show us that we need to treat all people with kindness. Hold the door for everyone. Give everyone a chance. There is ALWAYS a reason for the weight that goes WAY beyond sitting on your couch with fast food. It took me 44 years to realize that I fixed all of my hurt and stress and anger and sadness with food. I am changing that one day a time now. NOBODY says, "I want to be morbidly obese!" "It's MY dream!". Most who are on this site need support and help or we would not be here. And if we are here, we are trying.
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Bump
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Big time.
    People are much more draw toward physical beauty. It's normal.
    There was a 20/20 segment with a nice looking model vs a fat lady - same age and dressed in the same outfit.
    They placed both actresses in mild distress with a spilled bag of groceries, and guess what?
    Fat lady was largely ignored while guys fell all over themselves to help the model.
    Same thing with a male version of the same scenario .
    It gets back to the pro-creative instinct.
    It's not mean or cruel. It's just nature.
    In my life I am treated totally different, and at first I just thought the world had gotten nicer.
    Nope.
    The world is as it always was and always will be.
    Fat people are sometimes rejected as potential mates as well as prospective employees but also just deprived common courtesy to some extent.
    Welcome to the human race.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    I still have weight to lose but yes.

    More looks from guys and locking eyes... More looks from bodybuilder people in the gym. Free stuff. People opening doors. I think I'm more approachable too. I don't think it 100% related to my appearance but more about my confidence and self esteem.

    Downside, more snarky looks from girls...especially when I am wearing my exercise clothes (Tight yoga pants and spaghetti tank tops) I walk passed and they watch their boyfriends/husbands like a hawk. What a sad way to live...
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    People are a little nicer. I think bigger people and very thin people are often treated less than human.

    I do not however enjoy the extra male attention, so far the comments have been overly sexual.
  • Giantess
    Giantess Posts: 213 Member
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    I've always been a really outgoing person, regardless of my weight. I am worried, though. I work at a school where I am the only overweight staff member. And though I beat out other very strong candidates for my job, I'm really beginning to be conscious of my weight. I want to be taken seriously, and when all the other teachers can shame their class with the number of pull-ups they can do, I can safely say I've never EVER been able to even raise my chin to the bar.

    I want to be a good role model, and I want to be respected. When I'm heavier than everyone else around me by a good 80-100lbs, it makes me just a wee bit paranoid that someone might think less of me.

    They probably are, who am I kidding?

    *looks over shoulder*
    *puts on tinfoil hat*
  • BigMomma742
    BigMomma742 Posts: 46 Member
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    I have been chubby, thin, and obese. As a fat person only true gentlemen and kind people care to go out of their way for you. I seriously do get treated like I'm invisible a LOT. If I go buy heavy parts for my husband's farm or buy a heavy purchase from Lowe's, 9/10 the salesperson won't even offer to get a man to help me, and I know at size 11 (skinny for me) I was offered help. Lifted 100 pound toilet into the truck by myself just a couple days ago and then a few days later a power washer. I just thank God I am strong and hope I don't lose that with the weight. In the younger days, when I lost about 20 pounds-my still overweight friend said she liked me better before...said I looked more wholesome or something?? My sister, I love her very much, is always saying things like: Oh God look at that-and will be pointing to somebody overweight. She doesn't say that stuff to me because she loves me. And, yes I have even pointed out to her before that I, too, am obese.... I just don't see how people, sis included, can forget that THOSE fat people are worthy of love and respect too. It's a narrowminded world with narrowminded people, and my true friends are probably the ones I've made as chunky-me :)
  • zumbamommaof4
    zumbamommaof4 Posts: 32 Member
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    I know what you mean. My hubby does the same thing. LOL :)
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    People are definitely nicer and pay more attention to me. And I don't know if this sounds weird, but I've found that people are more tolerant of my negative points now. Like if I'm being a *****(which I admittedly am quite often), a guy would just write me off before. Now, I'm amazed at how much **** people will put up with.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    people I know are so excited for me, so not different, just happy for me.
  • BigMomma742
    BigMomma742 Posts: 46 Member
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    People are more rude to me, but whatever.
    I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.
    Judgmental. You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before making such an ugly statement.

    I agree. That was rude
    Oh to be everybody's perception of perfection. What bliss. NOT. Everybody is wired differently and react to impulses in their own way. When I am stressed, I sleep. It makes everybody crazy. I love food dammit. Don't judge me for it just be glad you're not me!!
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    People are more rude to me, but whatever.
    I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.

    That's odd. I can't imagine why people would be more rude to you.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Not really. I guess I am treated more like me again, whereas for the previous 5 years I had just been "Mummy", but I think that's more about stage of life than weight.

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