ARE YOU TREATED DIFFERENTLY AFTER YOUR WEIGHT LOSS?

BigMomma742

I've always been a really outgoing person, regardless of my weight. I am worried, though. I work at a school where I am the only overweight staff member. And though I beat out other very strong candidates for my job, I'm really beginning to be conscious of my weight. I want to be taken seriously, and when all the other teachers can shame their class with the number of pull-ups they can do, I can safely say I've never EVER been able to even raise my chin to the bar.

I want to be a good role model, and I want to be respected. When I'm heavier than everyone else around me by a good 80-100lbs, it makes me just a wee bit paranoid that someone might think less of me.

They probably are, who am I kidding?

*looks over shoulder*
*puts on tinfoil hat*

I'm not the only overweight staff member at my school but prolly the MOST. I was blessed with a stand-up comedian personality so the high schoolers I work with like me for who I am. I may be the poster child for "fat people can be loved." I understand the paranoia though. I have even thought about WHEN the weight is gone what an inspiration I can be to some of the kids as far as goal setting and not just with a weight loss basis.

athensguy

I haven't lost that much weight. Max weight was around 183 after a cruise (24/7 food for a week) with a regular weight around 175. This year I've weighed mostly between 155 and 161.

People, most of whom are overweight, keep trying to give me diet advice and telling me to stop losing weight even though I've been in the aforementioned range the whole year and thus have not really lost any weight in a long while.

It can be pretty funny when a lady who is 200 lbs overweight is worried about my weight, I guess.

Sarah_Wins

I have seen a HUGE difference in how I'm treated and I find it very sad that we're so superficial. Men who didn't know I existed a few months ago are tripping over themselves to open doors or help me carry something (though, ironically, I'm stronger and no longer need anyone's help). I turn down all advances from men that treat me differently. The few that were nice to me when I was fat, I'd love to go out with now.

I recently got a tattoo on my back and have to keep it uncovered. I walked around the mall yesterday in a tight halter top (the only thing I have that doesn't touch the tatt) and shorts. Boy, did I get some mean looks from females! On the other hand, I can go into stores I never could before like Charlotte Russe, and no longer get looks like I wandered into the wrong store. So, from the ladies, I guess I traded one dirty look for another. :ohwell:

mogletdeluxe

I'm treated largely better, occasionally worse.

Better:

- people interact far more with me generally; my appearance (but mainly my poor self-confidence) rendered me more or less invisible.

- on an incredibly superficial level, male attention has increased hugely. Some new, some from men who wouldn't look at me twice before.

- sadly, shop assistants and people in a position to help seem much more willing to do so, and that applies to both genders.

I know that some of this is purely appearance, whereas most of it is from increased self-esteem and confidence, which comes off people in waves.

Worse:

- I have one friend in particular who used to be my drinking buddy, and I'd very much be the one the guys spoke to whilst waiting to speak to her. Now, she tells me I've "gone too far" and doesn't ask me out anymore. Kind of hurtful, although my weight loss has definitely separated the men from the boys in terms of friendships.

- people I know who have struggled to lose weight are jealous, and they also reel out the "you've gone too far" line, or indeed that I'm looking "scrawny". It really hurts, as they know that I know exactly what it's like to be overweight.

I try not to muse over the changes too much. I just take the positive - those who embrace it and respond well to my increased confidence - and accept that haters gonna hate.

MaraDiaz

Absolutely. When I lost my weight - all of the sudden I wasn't invisible anymore. I went from a size 4X to a size 8 when I reached goal. Being that I was big all my life, I really didn't know how to handle it and it scared me so much that I almost stopped my weight loss. I had to learn how to interact with people. Strangers would make eye contact with me, which really freaked me out. When I was big, it seemed people didn't see me, and I was comfortable melting into the walls. I would talk but no one, except family, would take me seriously. Now, it's different. Which is awful, because I'm still the same person. It's sad to say but it also positively effected my career and I've been there for 30 years - Same person, same job, different weight - only now I have a ton more responsibilities. I haven't changed my style of work, just lost weight. It's probably because my confidence has increased 10 fold because of the weight loss but still I have experienced both sides of the coin.

Yep. I've noticed the same thing. The more space I take up, the more invisible I become. Even friends I've known for 20 years have treated me differently at different weights.

Also, at different weights my relationships are different. Guys I've dated at higher weights tend to cheat more often and end the relationship or give me reason to end it (like by cheating!) sooner. Gaining weight in a relationship also has a negative effect. Except with one guy I dated who didn't like when I lost below a certain amount. Of all the men I dated, he was the only chubby chaser in the bunch, though.

Sadly, appearance affects how others treat us. It matters a lot.

tashaa1992

Since gaining weight, I've noticed when I'm walking through town or in shops, I don't get the dirty looks anymore. I can't remember the last time I had a rude comment about my weight either! When I go into college, the receptionist always smiles at me which is something he didn't do before. If I'm on the bus, people actually sit next to me, even if there are other free seats. It's weird but it makes me feel good about the change I am making for my health, it makes me want to keep going, I don't feel like such a freak anymore lol:)

IHeartNewMe

Good question. I would say, absolutely, I am treated different. My cynical side says it's a shame that so much hinges on outward personal appearance, but it does. But, I have to confess that it feels good for people to say how good I look now after losing so much weight. People aren't going to say it if it weren't true, which motivates me to keep going. But ultimately a lesson I am learning and what keeps my feet on solid ground is, as a Christian, my confidence comes in knowing who I am in Christ, which also dictates how I treat others.

lisadlocks

Yes I get treated differently. I get more attention, more compliments. I also get invited out to eat and encouraged to order dessert. When I say I can't have it they say, "you can have a treat today". I am not sure what to call that. I have people who celebrate me and then tell me I have "lost" enough weight. Not sure when all of them became my doctor.

I treat myself more differently. I feel good, I look good but I also get a lot more unwanted attention. Fat was a great invisibility cloak (or so I thought). I am visible. I felt protected by my fat. I like shopping and dressing my new body. I like exercising. I love eating vegetables. I used to like buffets. I try to avoid them unless I am encouraged by "friends" to go to one. I now look at everyone's plate and know that what they are eating reflects their journey toward wellness. I have yet to go to a bufftet and eat for wellness.

I also really look at overweight people now. I want to know what is their story. I want to know their sorrow or joy. I really see them now and I look at them with love. I know this journey is hard. I travel a lot. I used to barely be able to fit in my seatbelt on the plane. I now have room in my seat. I am amazed everytime I buckle my seatbelt and their is still room on the strap.. I don't spillover into someone else's seat. I cringe when I hear someone ask for a seatbelt extention. I can feel the judgement on the plane. I am more aware of the reality of being obese and how I used to move through the world. My journey is my journey and I work hard to stay on my side of the fence. I am the only one walking in my shoes and I am the only one who knows my story.

Emancipated_Tai

I get way more attention now, that's for sure

serenity216

Even though I am only partway to my goal I can say yes, I have been treated differently. Since i am more active people go out of their way to make plans with me.

Also I went and got some to go food at the nearby chinese restaurant and I had my 5k number still on. The lady at the restaurant said "I give you discount, runner."

I have people telling me I am an inspiration to them and are making efforts to work out more after seeing my progress!

BROscience_PHD

Much better customer service, regardless of where i am.

I cant stand near, or walk by a girl without seeing hair being thrown around over their shoulder, or fixing it, a lot more smiles,

but unfortunately people always ask me to help them move because i go to the gym, i guess in their mind helping them move, is the same as working out. fml

Bobby_Clerici

Much better customer service, regardless of where i am.

I cant stand near, or walk by a girl without seeing hair being thrown around over their shoulder, or fixing it, a lot more smiles,

but unfortunately people always ask me to help them move because i go to the gym, i guess in their mind helping them move, is the same as working out. fml

It's strange you should bring this up.
I got that as well, but never made the connection.
I have a rule. I never help people move. That's work.
I'll pay to have your stuff moved before I actually lift a finger. I have always detested manual labor of any kind.

redcollins78

I can definitely see a change in how I'm treated even though I don't feel as if I've made a dramatic change. I try to purposely also take others feelings into account more so because now I'm more aware of the difference.

Momjogger

I guess I get more admiring glances, and people are supportive, make comments about my weight loss - which is weird because I still feel like the same exact person and that I look the same but smaller, but I think that because I have always been a positive person who has had respect for myself, I don't see a huge difference.

seventwenty

People are more rude to me, but whatever.
I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.

Oh look, a lady breh.

robot_potato

Yes, but it is more from my confidence and i am noticeably happier and more outgoing without all that extra weight.

spa9177

Since I have lost a lot of weight I am mistaken for a kid. I also get a lot more attention out in public. It is awesome that I am not invisible anymore.

Aka8941

I am treated less like a door mat. My bosses take me more seriously at work and listen to what I have to say more. I think a lot of that had to do with changes within myself. I no longer accept being treated like a doormat and I think I have a much more commanding presence. I actually heard my husband tell a friend who is trying to lose weight that I have changed so much in the last year. His exact words were, "She used to take and put up with every one's ****. Now she gives it. I'm so proud of her." I can't even begin to explain how proud that made me feel of myself.

That's really lovely. Congratulations on your hard work

Crochetluvr

Absolutely! The last time I lost a lot of weight, I had a lot of men interested in me. But a lot of it is your own confidence...it get a huge boost and that comes through in the way you carry yourself and your personality and this gets noticed.

Crochetluvr

Absolutely! The last time I lost a lot of weight, I had more men interested in me. But a lot of it is due to your own confidence...it get a huge boost and that comes through in the way you carry yourself and your personality and this gets noticed.