Am I Crazy for Crying Myself to Sleep Over This?

elle18287

So, while I have been dealing with some stress and anxiety lately, I don't know if I am actually over reacting to this.... My husband says I am being crazy, which of course, makes it way worse .
A little back ground. I have been dieting with mfp since March 2011. I lost a significant amount of weight in the first 6 months... about 45 lb. I mostly maintained, up and down a little since November 2011, but still have about 50 pounds I would like to lose. The last two months, I have worked out hard and mostly kept my food at a decent level. I was feeling good, fitting in smaller clothes and happy with my weight loss. I was noticing I was becoming very tones. For this first time in my life my friends were telling me I looked small and that I wasn't "fat" anymore.
So last night I see that a friend has tagged a picture of me from her wedding, from the beginning of May, on Facebook. I looked horrific. I actually think I looked like I had gained more weight than ever before. My husband said it was just an awful picture of me and didn't represent how I really looked at all, but I honestly couldn't stop crying. I had finally stopped hiding from cameras and all of a sudden I felt like all of my hard work was for nothing.
Right before I went to the wedding another friend told me, who hadn't seen me in a while, that I looked like I lost another 10 pounds and I looked great. Well not in this picture!
My face was scrunched up. I had a double chin. I was holding a wine glass and my arm fat was spilling out from my dress. It was horrible and honestly, it was rude of her to put it on Facebook.... she wasn't even in it. Everyone knows I have worked incredibly hard to lose the healthy way. I would never put an picture like that of a friend up!
I feel like I look disgusting and ugly. I am really having a breakdown about this. May it is ridiculous, but I am!
I have been working so hard and just don't want to think of myself as the fat girl anymore. I went from a size 18-22ish to a size 14ish pants. I occasionally even fit into a 10 top or dress.
How do I keep looking forward and stop feeling so depressed about this one picture? I know I am judging myself harshly, but it is very discouraging and depressing.

Dave198lbs

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BohemianCoast

Oh, try not to fret. Take the tag off it and ask your friend to take it down. The thing about photos is that we always think we look much worse on photos than our friends think we do. So other people will look at that photo and see how far you've come, not that it's a bad photo. Your friend probably thinks it's an ok photo of you. My husband's favourite current photo of me is one where I think I look like a sea slug; he thinks I look great. I *know* he's misguided...

elle18287

Thank you.... that is incredibly encouraging.... I am posting on mfp because I feel that my support system, my husband, isn't being very supportive about my feelings. I am not feeling sorry for myself, I am devastated that after a year of hard work I am scared to have my picture taken again. I am still here. Still logging. Still working my *kitten* off. Why do you even take the time to post on the forums if you are going to use it to be a complete *kitten*, Dave?

mandimuscles

Some people are just rude like that, I know someone that goes out of her way to take the absolute worst picture she can of someone to put up on FB. Don't let it get you down, you've obviously come a long way and it's not an accurate photo, just like there can be great angles to make things look good in photography, there really are also bad angles that do just the opposite. Even with the inaccuracy, just use it as a reminder to JUST KEEP GOING! Good luck!

lunabellalove

You're not crazy! I have never been photogenic and have always cringed at almost every picture of me. You should call up your friend and ask her to take it down, I assume you've already untagged yourself.

You should get dressed up the clothes that make you feel most confident and have your hubby take some good pics of you! You can update your facebook photo and I think it would help for you see yourself in a better light.

supplemama

Use it as motivation to drop the rest of your weight. You can do it!

You're not crazy for being upset over this but why dwell on it? It's just one bad photo. You can always ask your friend to take it own.

80Ben

You say you feel better and fit in smaller clothes... so the efforts are paying off. Don't let 1 bad picture bring you down.

elle18287

Bohemian, thank you. Hearing that helps me rationalize a little. I untagged it immediately! Hah. And when my husband thinksit is a bad photo... it must be awful, because he always thinks I look better than I do, hah. Thanks again.

billsica

First off. Go save that picture to your hard drive.

Ask your friend to remove that picture, because its not flattering.

Stop dieting, its a life change.

Fake some confidence till you get some. Own that b***

Ok, got that picture. when your ready look at it, then take a new one of yourself or something.

Still no confidence? inflate that ego even more, you lost 45 pounds, you rock! RAWWR!

Elf_Princess1210

Take a new pic of yourself and lay the new pic next to the wedding pic. Then, take a pic of yourself before you started your journe and place that one next to your other two pics. You'll see how far you've really come. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

elle18287

Thanks all. It is helpful to hear that others hate pictures of themselves. Life has been stressful lately, and this was an awful time to see this photo! I wonder how many calories crying for an hour burns, hah. I will just use it as motivation to get so in shape I will look good from any angle/lighting, hah.

bigboytriathlon

Keep in mind that we always see ourselves more critically than anyone else. I run into the same issue, however, i have actually decreed on FB that there are no pix of me until I lose more weight. I hate my pic. that being said, I have lost over 70 pounds and people think I am looking better than I have in a long time. i am not saying that to pat myself on my own back, but look at it from your friends perspective. They think you have done fantastic. This pic, though you hate it, may represent to them the journey you have been on. I would dare you, as much as you hate that pic, to look at it critically with a pic from Feb 2011 side by side. Notice the differences...See it from your friends side.

Also, ask them to remove it if it makes you uncomofrtable, I have done this, but do not let it impact your own journey - you have come too dang far, and are doing fantastic.

momof4ts

I am sorry that this happened to you! However when life gives you lemons......make lemonade! Use this as a motivation to KEEP WORING TOWARD your goal! You admitted you are not where you want to be, so let it go and head on to your new goal! :flowerforyou: you can do it, maybe this was your supercharge or kick in the pants. Some days i need one of those and the mirror gives it to me!

Lcampbell38

Listen to what all your friends and your husband are telling you and not one picture. Anyone can take a bad picture sometimes. Keep up the good work ....and yeah, take off the Facebook tag. All my friends know better than to post a picture of me without my approval!

elle18287

Billsica.... haha. Thank you. Exactly the advice I needed. Fake it until you make it has always been my rule.... MFP is my place where I can act like a 13 year old girl and cry after I eat a brownie, hah.

PennyRLane

We are our worse enemies...

itsgood

Just the other day a friend was tagged in a photo. It wasn't flattering. She looked so different in the photo, NOT AT ALL the way she really looks. I was struck by this and we talked about it, because it was so surprisingly not what you really see. She wasn't thrilled any more than you are(!) and is asking the poster to remove it. Please try not to let that get in your head and mess with your progress...maintain your control over the things you can, like working out and making those good-for-you choices. That's where you want to be. And remove the tag! :-D

PennyRLane

We are our worse enemies... it is hard going from a larger weight and then seeing picture after and even before. It isn't tough You are being too hard on yourself but, it comes with the package of being bigger and getting smaller. People can get this image of how they used to look and still see themselves that way, even see things that aren't there to others. People who love and care about you will see the possitive almost always, even when you don't see it. We focus on the negative for SO LONG that it is such a psychological upheval to change the point of view and let our minds except it. When our bodies grow and change so does our mind and thought process. Changing our bodies takes change in our mind as well. I battle with a condition call BDD body dismorphic disorder and I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE THIS AT ALL! I am just relating I have lost over 100 pounds and still to this day and with some help I am just starting to except the possives that I have achived and not to focus on the negatives. It will take some time and there will be set backs but with good support system, healthy surrounding and habits and some good old self esteem you will be ok. You might have over reacted but, hell, you are allowed to lol. Maybe for only an extended period of time though... then it is time to look at the positives, even if you don't like to

steph124ny

Some people put up unflattering photos of others to make themselves look better. She should have known better. Your weight loss is awesome so don't get upset over one photo. It is amazing the horrible picture that a camera can capture in a millisecond....even of skinny super models. That's why they take 3000 pics only to use one for a magazine!!!

Don't worry.....an alternate strategy is to use the photo for your profile pic and make a complete joke out of it. Start a contest among your friends and dare them to post the absolute worst pic they can find of themselves and use it for their profile for a week. If they do it, donate 5 bucks in their name to your favorite charity.

elle18287

Keep in mind that we always see ourselves more critically than anyone else. I run into the same issue, however, i have actually decreed on FB that there are no pix of me until I lose more weight. I hate my pic. that being said, I have lost over 70 pounds and people think I am looking better than I have in a long time. i am not saying that to pat myself on my own back, but look at it from your friends perspective. They think you have done fantastic. This pic, though you hate it, may represent to them the journey you have been on. I would dare you, as much as you hate that pic, to look at it critically with a pic from Feb 2011 side by side. Notice the differences...See it from your friends side.

Also, ask them to remove it if it makes you uncomofrtable, I have done this, but do not let it impact your own journey - you have come too dang far, and are doing fantastic.

70 lb is absolutely amazing and you should pat yourself on the back! I suppose I reacted to harshly to this photo was because I felt like I looked in it like I looked at the beginning of my weight loss. I am going to take everyone advice and turn this around into motivation!