Am I Crazy for Crying Myself to Sleep Over This?

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  • SoozeE512
    SoozeE512 Posts: 439 Member
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    Seeing pictures from the angle of another person is never as flattering. Yesterday, I wore a dress to a big event and everyone was telling me how I looked so good and looked like I had lost a lot of weight -- and then I saw a couple of pictures of me where my upper body looked small, but my hips looked big, and worst of all, my chin looked big and made my face look yucky.

    I'm used to looking in the mirror straight on, but these pictures were taken by someone a couple of inches shorter than me -- and it made all the difference.

    I can't blame you for being upset over the photos taken of you -- but you're only going to look better in the next pictures if you keep working at it! Use your emotions to drive you to work out harder and eat healthier. Another year from now, you'll be glad you did :)
  • FooFatFighters
    FooFatFighters Posts: 37 Member
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    I'm a photographer. Sometime the photo catches the person in a bad position that just makes them look heavier, or face/body look distorted, coloring wrong, shadows fall the wrong way, etc. Toughest is if the person is on the edge of a wide-angle photo which makes them look even wider, this is why photographers use telephoto lenses when taking photos of models since it makes them look skinnier. Wider=fatter.

    You WILL lose the extra weight and you will be happy you have photos to show-off your fabulous progress.

    Get your husband or someone to take photos of you when you're doing something you enjoy, when you're relaxed, when you're smiling and post them. Let folks see the real you.

    Everyone should pause, think about someone you admire that isn't your traditional rail-thin model body or super buff body. That someone may be an actor, singer, musician, poet, mentor, etc. Realize how you're attracted to the idea of hanging out with them or meeting them. Then realize that people feel that way about you too.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    Try not to obsess. I do the exact same thing! I honestly don't know what my issue is but I take horrible pictures. Everyone I know in real life say they never look like me....I bet that's what happened to you this one time. Bad angles, bad lighting, etc etc anything can do it. I am sure the people who see those pictures love you very much and know that's not what you look like on a daily basis.

    Take some nice pictures today and tag them to make yourself feel better.

    I hope that helps
  • elle18287
    elle18287 Posts: 267 Member
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    Hey Elle, maybe this will make you feel a little better: my dad and stepmother printed a photo BOOK last year with the most horrid picture of me and distributed it to all the relatives. No "untagging" that!
    I did ask them NOT to post it to FB. (BTW they did have lots of photos that were much more flattering!)


    Oh NOOOOO! I am so sorry, Lynn! I would make it my goal in life to collect all of those and burn them on my father front yard, hah.
  • BecomingElle
    BecomingElle Posts: 112 Member
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    Don't be upset! This happens all the time! I know lots of amazing, stunning girls who are super thin, but sometimes they just get caught at the wrong angle or mid-laugh or with a scrunched up face. Everyone is capable of a bad photo!

    I think it was rude of her to put it up, but people do that to me all the time! I just untag myself and try to get over it. Sometimes uploading a great picture of me the same day or true following day makes up for it ;) hahaha
  • HildeDanmark
    HildeDanmark Posts: 65 Member
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    I had gotten down to about 2 pounds heavier than I am now about 2 years ago (before I gained it all back when I had Lyme). My ex in-laws had taken this picture of me on the beach wearing some shorts and sitting down. It looked like the worlds most prominent muffin top. I cried. Mind you, it was the first time I had worn them and other shorts didn't make me look like that.

    Point is, it should have motivated me to lose more and try out all my shorts sitting in a mirror before I wore them (which I do now). It didn't and I wish that it had.

    You have to fight hard to get down to an ideal weight and horrible in between pictures will make you feel like crap, but just realize they are there to get you to keep going on the journey.
  • pelleld
    pelleld Posts: 363 Member
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    Some people put up unflattering photos of others to make themselves look better. She should have known better. Your weight loss is awesome so don't get upset over one photo. It is amazing the horrible picture that a camera can capture in a millisecond....even of skinny super models. That's why they take 3000 pics only to use one for a magazine!!!

    Don't worry.....an alternate strategy is to use the photo for your profile pic and make a complete joke out of it. Start a contest among your friends and dare them to post the absolute worst pic they can find of themselves and use it for their profile for a week. If they do it, donate 5 bucks in their name to your favorite charity.

    I LOVE the way you think :)
  • triathlete5301
    triathlete5301 Posts: 182 Member
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    No matter what, there are always pictures that do not flatter us. With your face scrunched up, you will have a double chin. I have friends that are normal/thin that when they scrunch their face they have a double chin. Pictures suck- they are a moment frozen in time and it could be the most awkward moment.

    also, we are our worst critics. We look for our flaws. Maybe she put the picture on fb not realizing how terrible it was (maybe she did, who knows?). We are going to pick ourselves apart because of the image that we have with our bodies.

    Be confident in who you are, what you are. Don't let one picture ruin you. If you have lost the weight, fit into the pants, etc, then you have something to celebrate!

    Still, I know I would get upset seeing it. But it doesn't represent all of you- just a moment in time.
    Good luck!!!
  • Marillian
    Marillian Posts: 3,892 Member
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    As for Facebook, you can change your settings so that you must approve a photo or video that someone tries to tag with you in it. Or, you can simply change your setting not to allow anyone to tag you in a picture.

    You can also remove a tag if it's already posted.

    Instead of focusing on one bad picture, focus on a ll the positive accomplishments you have made!
  • amiller37128
    amiller37128 Posts: 1
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    I hate being tagged in "disapproving" fb photos... I think there's a setting that let's you approve first though, for future references. I wouldn't be so critical tho...The cam adds atleast 5 lbs and the pic is old at that...You've came a long way, atleast your fb friends see the change and progress.....Flaunt yourself for the present:) Congrats!
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 374 Member
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    I've had the exact same experience. Put on a pair of shorts that barely fit last year, and now they're a little loose. Was very excited and thought I looked great. My 3 year old got a hold of my camera and took a pic of me...it was AWFUL! Then My 8 year old took a pic of me with my 3 year old in a back carrier and it was AWFUL, too. Then I realized that the angle my sons took the pics was partly to blame, they were too low to the ground to be flattering. I say go ahead and take more pics of yourself that make you look and feel good, and show yourself how far you've come. You've worked too hard at this to feel bad!
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    It's just an unflattering photo and that can happen regardless of how good you look or how toned your are...it doesn't mean anything in terms of how hard you've worked, etc. In a way, it's your mind playing a trick on you.

    A while ago, I started a before and after group of photos...to help me see the difference. I've lost 34 lbs but go up and down a couple of pounds. When I go up a few pounds, I instantly feel I've regained the 34, which is untrue.

    Keep on working hard, and you'll continue to reap the benefits, even if every picture doesn't come out exactly how you hope.
  • IronPlayground
    IronPlayground Posts: 1,594 Member
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    I wouldn't put much more thought to it. You've had great success thus far. We always see ourselves worse than what others see us. I really don't think your friend was intentionally trying to make you look bad. She may have seen it as a good picture.
  • Lynn_SD
    Lynn_SD Posts: 83 Member
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    Hey Elle, maybe this will make you feel a little better: my dad and stepmother printed a photo BOOK last year with the most horrid picture of me and distributed it to all the relatives. No "untagging" that!
    I did ask them NOT to post it to FB. (BTW they did have lots of photos that were much more flattering!)


    Oh NOOOOO! I am so sorry, Lynn! I would make it my goal in life to collect all of those and burn them on my father front yard, hah.

    Thanks, you made me laugh! I would be out there with the lighter fluid but they all live 2000 miles away!!
  • elle18287
    elle18287 Posts: 267 Member
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    Thanks to all of you who posted such encouraging words. I am so lucky to have MFP! Feel free to add me if you would like a supportive friend.... I know I need them!
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    Use it as motivation to drop the rest of your weight. You can do it!

    You're not crazy for being upset over this but why dwell on it? It's just one bad photo. You can always ask your friend to take it own.

    I agree use it as motivation and move on. If that's not the person you feel you are truly then take a new pic and compare them so you'll know exactly where you are, and reality is it could have just been the outfit you were wearing. You know clothes make you look bigger or smaller.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    I'm sorry you feel this way. I've done the same thing after losing almost 40lbs myself. I saw a pic of me and even though I KNOW I've lost a lot of weight, I AM smaller and I'm healthier, I STILL looked fat in some pics of me posted on FB, just like you had. I felt my face looked fat and the same as you, my arms. I felt so depressed and down that the first thing I did was reset my FB so that I have to approve any pics of me before they are posted, if I'm tagged in them.
    Then, although I was still upset, I decided to keep my chin up, keep working out, logging my food, eating well, etc. etc., you know the routine. I still have 15-20lbs to lose and a lot of muscle to build but I know I don't look bad. I also know that before I lost the 40lbs, I didn't allow ANYONE to take pictures of me, so maybe the 'thinner' person I saw in the pics was actually the earlier fat me? I'm not sure but I'm in this for me, I'm still a work in progress, towards being healthier. It takes years to get to our 'unhealthy' state and it will take time to be healthy AND to have a good self-image and mental state also.
    You will get past this. Don't let it get you down, move on and keep working towards good health and know that YOU are so much better looking and thinner than what you saw in that picture. Pictures can be and are deceiving! Also, the person you ARE is more important than how you see yourself in any photo, flattering or not!
    Good luck and <hugs> Please don't let this bother you anymore. Just chalk it up to being a bad photo and move on. You're a strong person, I know you are because you've worked so hard to get where you are!
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    It's a photo. My god if I look through my facebook account it's hilariously embarrassing. But so what? Who cares? Suck it up and just crack on with your life... it's all good.
  • rcclcruiser
    rcclcruiser Posts: 98 Member
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    Can you untag yourself and ask your friend to remove it? When I put pics of friends up, I make sure everyone in the pic looks good, or it isn't posted. That was thoughtless and insensitive to put a pic of you like that up. I have had the same thing done to me too and the person pretended that they didn't know it was a bad pic, when it obviously was. It definitely isn't worth crying yourself to sleep over, but I would definitely have the pic removed.
  • elle18287
    elle18287 Posts: 267 Member
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    Can you untag yourself and ask your friend to remove it? When I put pics of friends up, I make sure everyone in the pic looks good, or it isn't posted. That was thoughtless and insensitive to put a pic of you like that up. I have had the same thing done to me too and the person pretended that they didn't know it was a bad pic, when it obviously was. It definitely isn't worth crying yourself to sleep over, but I would definitely have the pic removed.

    I did untag myself immediately, and took it off of my news feed. My husband, who is adorable, also looked awful in it strangely enough. I don't know if she maliciously put it up there, but it was insensitive. I would never do that to a friend! I always try to think about how other people would feel about the picture before I post it. My best friend will actually photoshop bad pics if she wants them to go on facebook! Love her!

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