Victoria's Secret and clothes shopping...uuuugh.

Erisad

in regards to the boyfriend being drawn to that store, it's normal, but what he should be more focused on is finding things in your size rather than wanting you to shop there. they are very over priced to be honest and i only buy panties there online when there is a sale going on. i have never shopped in store for panties at VS. their online selection is larger and in certain cuts i have to have an extra large and some i need larges and they don't always have larges left when i've gone in. there was a website i used to visit when i was MUCH larger (i'm talking like size 24ish...) when my husband was on his first deployment i found the most beautiful undies, bras, and nighties. www.hipsandcurves.com they are very true to their size in my opinion and they have some really cute sexy things. we did a lot of shopping online together while he was deployed and i bought a few "surprises" for when he got home.

I guess what gets me is that I feel like I'm supposed to be that size and if I never gained all this weight, I probably wouldn't have even noticed that they don't carry larger sizes. *sigh*

Yeah, but I don't like buying that kind of stuff online, especially when I'm living at home. "Hey what did you get in the mail, sweetie?" "Nothing grandma!" Maybe I'll hold off on that until I move out. >.<

97emily97

Try Kohls or Target! They have a lot of bigger sizes and pretty stuff in bigger sizes too. Hope this helps

Erisad

VS is the most annoying place in the world to me. I can technically fit into their bras (36D) but their quality sucks and so do their prices. I don't fit into their panties correctly. I don't understand the fascination with that store. I guess they just have a great marketing team.

Here are some stores to try: Marshalls, Ross (cute lingere), Khols, Maidenform outlet, JCPenny, Sears

Actually the best bras I've ever had came from a flea market. 6 bras for $30. They carried up to a 44DD I believe. I still have them. Very supportive and great colors. You could potentially try that if you have a big flea market by you.

I don't know if I have a flea market that sells bras, most of ours are Amish flea markets with wonderful pastries.

I do shop at those places now for lingerie. I guess I don't feel sexy in them I guess, then again I don't think I'll ever feel sexy as I am now as I close my eyes when I'm in the shower so I don't see myself. That and VS is like the only lingerie store in most malls so we're conditioned to think that if you can't wear their stuff, you aren't sexy.

Erisad

Try Kohls or Target! They have a lot of bigger sizes and pretty stuff in bigger sizes too. Hope this helps

We don't go to Kohl's too much anymore as we spend too much money there. That and it's always busy and parking is a pain as it's the only one in the area. I've never been a fan of Target's clothes, they seem cheaply made so I never really considered them an option, sorry. I go to Target for beauty products, books and food and that's pretty much it. Sorry if I'm being a pain. I'm just a very negative person sometimes. >.<

unicornpoop

I feel your frustration on the VS thing. My husband keeps telling me "Let's go to VS and buy you sexy underthings". Then I remind him that it's overpriced and the quality is bad he just gives up for a few weeks. They seriously have a hold on the market. Why can't men accept that other bras and panties are sexy. I feel your pain.

You also have to stop beating yourself up over gaining weight. S*&t happens, people arent perfect and they gain weight. I bet if you stop feeling terrible about yourself, you might be more successful. I notice when I am depressed or feeling low my weight plateaus.

unicornpoop

It also sounds like you just want to rant. People are being supportive and trying to suggest options and you are knocking them all down. Hope you find whatever answers you are looking for.

cmeade20

I have the opposite problem. Can never get a bra in my size in Victorias Secret (or anywhere except Target and Kohls!) because my boobs are so small. I dont know if you have a DEB near you but they have plus sizes and some of their clothes are pretty cute.

Erisad

I feel your frustration on the VS thing. My husband keeps telling me "Let's go to VS and buy you sexy underthings". Then I remind him that it's overpriced and the quality is bad he just gives up for a few weeks. They seriously have a hold on the market. Why can't men accept that other bras and panties are sexy. I feel your pain.

You also have to stop beating yourself up over gaining weight. S*&t happens, people arent perfect and they gain weight. I bet if you stop feeling terrible about yourself, you might be more successful. I notice when I am depressed or feeling low my weight plateaus.

The thing is, I've always been overweight since I gained puberty. I was always the fat friend, the ugly teen that boys would ask out as a joke and laugh at me. I never got to be the pretty girl and I'm sick of it.

It also sounds like you just want to rant. People are being supportive and trying to suggest options and you are knocking them all down. Hope you find whatever answers you are looking for.

I do because I have no one to talk to about this stuff at home. Mom yells at me when I cry or rant about my problems because they aren't as important as her problems. My brother just says, "Oh god, what are you crying about now?! Shut up." Grandma just sees every opportunity to bash that I left the church and that I'm going to hell for wanting nothing to do with the hateful Christian community. Aside from my boyfriend, I have no support anywhere in my life. So when I want to rant and he's at work, I have to turn to the internet because I live with a bunch of insensitive Christians who want me to behave just like them 100% of the time.

Erisad

I have the opposite problem. Can never get a bra in my size in Victorias Secret (or anywhere except Target and Kohls!) because my boobs are so small. I dont know if you have a DEB near you but they have plus sizes and some of their clothes are pretty cute.

I've never even heard of that store so I'll just go on a limb and say they aren't in the area. Fat people stores are hard to come by where I am, unless I want to buy clothes from Walmart and they never have anything sexy or cute. >.<

MrsCassieThreatt

Victoria's secret is alright. I've bought their boyfriend jeans and love them...I'm a 14 up top but an 18/20 on the bottom depending...Right now I can't get in my boyfriend jeans but...I'm working on that. I can tell you clothes that are tailored are better than the cheap stuff off the rack any day of the week. I stalk Macy's late at night and find great deals...and you can return them to the store if they don't work out versus mailing them back. I got a pair of Donna Karen slacks for $4.00 and they were regularly 100$. Also Fredericks of Hollywood has a large selection to cater to plus size girls. Either way its all made in China these days so the quality is what it is.

Old Navy is great for work out clothes and thank goodness they have a tall section for me as well. The Avenue is good and so is Ashley Stewart. Good luck.

MrsCassieThreatt

oh and yeah those models wish they looked like that!!! lol Your boyfriend is right. They airbrush and distort the models till they don't look like themselves either. Just look at Candace...in real life in her real photos she's skin and bones and her hips are protruding from her skin...but in the magazine she's all tanned up and bronzed and she has meat on her bones so you don't see her bones sticking out...so its all fake.

Erisad

Victoria's secret is alright. I've bought their boyfriend jeans and love them...I'm a 14 up top but an 18/20 on the bottom depending...Right now I can't get in my boyfriend jeans but...I'm working on that. I can tell you clothes that are tailored are better than the cheap stuff off the rack any day of the week. I stalk Macy's late at night and find great deals...and you can return them to the store if they don't work out versus mailing them back. I got a pair of Donna Karen slacks for $4.00 and they were regularly 100$. Also Fredericks of Hollywood has a large selection to cater to plus size girls. Either way its all made in China these days so the quality is what it is.

Old Navy is great for work out clothes and thank goodness they have a tall section for me as well. The Avenue is good and so is Ashley Stewart. Good luck.

I like Macy's, although their stuff can be expensive at times. I wanted this pretty grey Calvin Klein dress from there but it was $89 and I couldn't afford it. It'll be my reward to me once I lose the rest of my weight, I'll get me one of those dresses. >.<

They don't have the grey on here but the red and black look nice too. I don't know if I could rock a red dress but it would be worth a try I think!
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-dress-sleeveless-pleated-a-line?ID=536330

Erisad

oh and yeah those models wish they looked like that!!! lol Your boyfriend is right. They airbrush and distort the models till they don't look like themselves either. Just look at Candace...in real life in her real photos she's skin and bones and her hips are protruding from her skin...but in the magazine she's all tanned up and bronzed and she has meat on her bones so you don't see her bones sticking out...so its all fake.

I know. I'd feel better if I could at least get into their larges I guess. I might not even like owning their stuff, I just want the option. According to their website I'd have to lose 2-3 inches in my hips to fit into their large. I think my butt has gotten rounder since starting this journey sooo getting things to fit will be interesting...maybe. >.>

MrsLVF

Have you tried Torrid? They have some hot sexy items at that store that will fit you just fine. :flowerforyou:

Erisad

Have you tried Torrid? They have some hot sexy items at that store that will fit you just fine. :flowerforyou:

I don't have a Torrid store in my area. I can order stuff from their website if I want. I order stuff from QVC and most of that seems to work, although a lot of it is for older women and looks weird on me. >.<

tookie24

I really think that it would help if you worked on being more positive. Who cares if you can't buy the overpriced, crappy quality stuff VS tries to cram down our throats. Whether or not your boyfriend wants to buy you stuff from there or not... I feel like you need to work on having a more positive look on yourself. Learn to love yourself and a lot of other things fall into place. I see a lot of people throwing out a lot of different suggestions and you're just finding whats wrong with them.Even if you live in a very rural area, there are a lot of places you can shop online. There are usually sales and they offer free shipping so if you need to send it back you don't lose out on the shipping cost. Also almost every clothing website has a sizing chart to compare your measurements to. Good luck on the weight loss and try to stay positive

Erisad

I really think that it would help if you worked on being more positive. Who cares if you can't buy the overpriced, crappy quality stuff VS tries to cram down our throats. Whether or not your boyfriend wants to buy you stuff from there or not... I feel like you need to work on having a more positive look on yourself. Learn to love yourself and a lot of other things fall into place. I see a lot of people throwing out a lot of different suggestions and you're just finding whats wrong with them.Even if you live in a very rural area, there are a lot of places you can shop online. There are usually sales and they offer free shipping so if you need to send it back you don't lose out on the shipping cost. Also almost every clothing website has a sizing chart to compare your measurements to. Good luck on the weight loss and try to stay positive

I'll try. Thanks.

twinmom14ek

Don't let Victoria's Secret, of all places get you down. When I was a skinny little college girl I went in there to be measured for a bra, and they told me I was a 32DD...which they didn't carry. Seems I can't win with them either way--now I'm on the other end of the spectrum. There are plenty of other stores that sell nice things in a reasonable range of sizes, and most of them aren't as ridiculously overpriced, either.

Erisad

Don't let Victoria's Secret, of all places get you down. When I was a skinny little college girl I went in there to be measured for a bra, and they told me I was a 32DD...which they didn't carry. Seems I can't win with them either way--now I'm on the other end of the spectrum. There are plenty of other stores that sell nice things in a reasonable range of sizes, and most of them aren't as ridiculously overpriced, either.

Yeah, one of their panties were $22! I was like, I could by 4 nice panties from Marshall's for less than that. I think you're paying for the brand, which is how they get away with charging so much. *sigh* If my mall had a Frederick's and Hollywood in it I wouldn't even care what VS says. Aerie has really tiny stuff too and their staff insisted that "you must be able to fit into something!" and coerced me back to the fitting room to try a 38D/38DD. I'm a 40C/40D. It didn't fit at all....I felt very uncomfortable and I left. Lingerie shops tend to have a bad impact on me as most of them seem to be tailored towards a certain body type.

amoffatt

I am 4'11 and most places just assume that petite means thin and short, that there is no room for short and heavy. Clothes have to be altered all the time or they just dont look, feel, or fit right. (Who has the extra time and money to alter 1/2 of their wardrobe:noway: ). Hang in there and just take your business to other stores that appreciate you for you, not for what VS thinks the role model for all women should be.

Erisad

I am 4'11 and most places just assume that petite means thin and short, that there is no room for short and heavy. Clothes have to be altered all the time or they just dont look, feel, or fit right. (Who has the extra time and money to alter 1/2 of their wardrobe:noway: ). Hang in there and just take your business to other stores that appreciate you for you, not for what VS thinks the role model for all women should be.

Oh yes. I'm 5'3.5" (gotta put that half inch, lol!) and finding petites in larger sizes is a pain. I have to hem petite jeans sometimes because they're still too long. I need to invent a clothing line for short and heavy people. Maybe I'll call it "The Litttle Teapot: For the short and stout." Okay, the name needs work but seriously, someone needs to start designing clothes for the small and heavy. :P

cressievargo

This post is nothing but you whining and shooting down EVERY SINGLE SUGGESTION people make for one reason or another. Get off the forum and find a therapist. Your issues are far beyond what the scale says.

Again - your self worth should not be tied to a store, or underwear. Sexiness is not defined by the size of clothing you wear. If you don't work on changing your way of thinking, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. This whole thread is proof of that.

MaryJane_8810002

I outgrew Victorias Secretly (mentally and cup size) and have never been happier. Be careful with the GAP their clothes stretch something fierce after a couple of wears.

MaryJane_8810002

This post is nothing but you whining and shooting down EVERY SINGLE SUGGESTION people make for one reason or another. Get off the forum and find a therapist. Your issues are far beyond what the scale says.

Again - your self worth should not be tied to a store, or underwear. Sexiness is not defined by the size of clothing you wear. If you don't work on changing your way of thinking, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. This whole thread is proof of that.

:laugh: Totally did not read this thread before I put my opinion.

gogojodee

Victoria's Secret makes everyone feel like s hit. You gotta be 6' and 115 to wear their stuff. I'm 107lbs and 5'3" and I find panties and bras ok, but I feel like a prepubescent transvestite in them.

And as a 5'3" woman who's 195 pounds, I'll most likely never be able to shop there unless I lose at least 50 pounds, which will take a while. *sigh*

That's not true. Well, for me it isn't. I weight 151 am 5'2" but I'm fairly small boned and all my stuff is from VS. You just have to find styles that suit your body. This isn't the largest I've been, I've been larger and VS was still acceptable on me. Comfort and tailoring wise.

runs4zen

To comment on someone else's post...Yes, Victoria's secret makes clothes for "real" women. I know this because I shop there and so do millions of other real women.

That said, there was a time of my life where shopping in the "women's" department or special "big girl" stores was the only way for me to buy clothes, I remember feeling denegrated and second class. It still pisses me off to think that anyone over a size 12 has to shop in a special section--like being "big" is a disease and the clothes need to be seperated. This happens in all department stores, regardless. Don't get me started on having to pay more for those same clothes or that they are primarily ugly and/or ill fitting. There's a market out there just waiting to be tapped by a savvy marketing team and people who actually care that larger women want to be, and care about, being stylish as much as anyone else.

Journalartista

I always thought that it's becuase the xl sizes sold out first

spartangirl79

First of all -- Victoria's Secret does not make clothes for real women. I will be happy to never shop there again. There are other stores. It seems like options are limited where you are which is certainly a challenge but not insurmountable. Try Eddie Bauer -- they size well, shipping is often free and returns are very easy. I am 200+ and typically wear a 16W - Eddie Bauer stuff is stylish and fits well. I also like Ann Taylor Loft (they have awesome sales very frequently and their tops are cut well for fuller figures). Kohls sometimes has good stuff but you have to pick and choose. Avoid the older lady section and stick to the more stylish pieces. They also have a great selection of bras. You may have to work a bit to find cute clothes but you are very attractive and it will be worth it. I have also found good things on Amazon of all places - especially if I find a brand I like which I can't find close to me. Hope this helps a bit.

That's the thing, my bf wants to be able to buy me things from there someday but he hates when I tell him that I'm too fat to fit their stuff. He says I'm not fat but the numbers don't lie.

i rarely go to Kohl's anymore. It's about 30 minutes away but I spend too much money there. I'll probably just stick with the clothes I got until I'm not a fatass anymore. >.<

Lol I work in an Amazon warehouse, we have everything. I haven't stowed a lot of clothes though. Probably at another warehouse.

So this entire discussion is based on where your bf wants to shop for you?

Nearly every suggestion that people made you shot down. I don't think size or weight is your primary issue - it's self-image. Where you (or your boyfriend) buy your clothes should not be the thing that ultimately decides your personal worth.

^^^^^True! You gotta shop for YOU, not your bf. First he says VS encourages eating disorders, yet then he wants you to shop there? I am lost.

You are a very pretty girl and lots of stores have cute clothes for those of us who aren't a size 4. Even Target has some cute stuff. Once you know what size you wear from a certain store, ordering online isn't so bad. Yeah, you might have to return a few things but return shipping isn't that much anymore (now that all retailers are trying to get people to shop online), and if you can find something you like it's worth it,

I've been 6' tall since I was 13 so I'm an avid online shopper. Options are there for you, though I understand how depressing it can be when all your friends want to shop at the mall and you just tag along, or whatever.

Find some clothes that make you feel good about you and tell your bf to mind his business about where you buy your undies. He should just be happy he gets to see them, no matter where you buy them!

slrosenbaum

I'm 5'4 and a size 40DD. I completely understand your frustration with not being able to find sexy lingerie. I know you live out the middle of nowhere, but maybe take a day where you can drive around to all these places and plan to spend the money you want to spend on nice clothes that fit. That way, you only have to do it once and not multiple times. I LOVE Lane Bryant for bras. In my area, there's a store called Cacique that is part of Lane Bryant and they're bras are PHENOMENAL! I bought some before my daughter was born (over 2 years ago), and they're just now starting to show wear. AND, they're having a sale until the 8th on bras - buy 2 get 2 free. They're true to fit, and I would be confident purchasing them online. They fit well and last forever. I wore mine through my entire pregnancy and never had a problem.

I do agree with the other poster about you having to change your mindset. You are a beautiful woman no matter what size you are. Once you realize that, your entire outlook on life will change.

17ChargerGirl17

Maurice's is the best. They have a regular section that goes up to XXL and then there is a plus size side that has basically the same clothes.
And every time you buy something there is a coupon for money off your next visit. I love that store. Plus you can order on line and pick it up at the store of your choice.

As for the bra, buy a 38 and then go to Walmart and get an extender for it. You will eventually be at the 38 so why not wear it now!! It works and you can get the ones that you like. Just a thought...