MFP Obsession

NJGmywholewrld

I signed up for MFP in June for support. I come from a family where most people die before they reach 60. I also married into one with the same history. Here is my dilema....I grew up overweight most of my life and suffered with eating disorders. In 1993 I was diagnosed with PCOS. I lost weight and went from 422+lbs. down to the 190s. I then got pregnant and gained quite a bit and 2 years later I am still working at taking off all the baby weight. I really have no support in my life, most of my loved ones would just rather continue living an unhealthy lifestyle. I was told that I needed to, "Quit with this G** D*** obsession of counting my calories." I try to explain that losing weight and maintaining good health is the only way that I am going to be able gain control of the PCOS and live a long life. I am more or less being told that I am crazy. I just feel so incredibly alone. I am not suppose to even be on MFP, but unfortunately, I am logging without anyones knowledge. Is anyone else getting negative feedback from LOs? If so, how are you handling it?

Crochetluvr

I am not suppose to even be on MFP, but unfortunately, I am logging without anyones knowledge.

HUH?? Why???

Discoveri

Brush your shoulders off. You may need to remind your family members that you are doing this for you and to be able to see your kid/kids grow up. I am also obsessed with MFP and it's because this site works for me. Some of the family members give me the side eye when I am inputting my calories but no one has said anything directly to me yet.

Side note: Since you have PCOS, you might want to check out some of the groups for members with PCOS on here as they can give you advice and help on your journey.

Chelkb

I don't have much advice but wanted to give ((hugs)). I am sorry you don't have support from your family. It definitely makes it tougher. Does your husband support you? What about friends or co-workers? As for your family, I wouldn't share information with them. Just do your own thing where they are concerned and don't feel pressured to back down. This is your life. You have to live it for yourself. You have to decide what makes you happy...no one else.

I also come from a family with really bad genes as well. My mom passed away at 54, my uncle at 52, my step-father at 58, my grandparents in their 60's. I became the oldest living generation in my family at 30. I quit smoking, started exercising and for the most part, try to eat a healthy balanced diet. My husband has been supportive but not my in-laws. They throw bad food at me all the time. When my mother in-law sends crap food to our home, I now bring it to work so that I don't have to deal with the temptation.

Good luck and you can always come on MFP for support!

jakidb

If MFP motivates you, stay on it. Do what works for you

darrensurrey

You may need to remind your family members that you are doing this for you and to be able to see your kid/kids grow up.

I think this is the best reason.

If they are against you trying to lose weight then perhaps ask them why they disagree.

WilliamsPeggy

Ignore them. Do what's best for you. You only get one shot at life. Don't let their insecurities get you down. Please please please don't give up! :flowerforyou:

glwerth

First off, I'm sorry you're not getting support from your family.

You should be able to do whatever you need to for yourself! If YOU need this for you, you deserve it and since it is free of charge, there is no earthly reason you shouldn't continue. As moms, we deny ourselves things far too often.

If you need support, well, there are plenty of people here who are willing and ready to offer it to you!

Just keep on any way you need to, for yourself. And keep making healthier choices....it will certainly rub off on the little one.

My older boys eat pretty badly, since my husband and I were making poor choices when they were little. My 3 year old boy loves fruits and veggies because we eat more of them now. Setting those habits for your kids is SO important. I wish I had started this when my kids were smaller.

NJGmywholewrld

Thank you all for the response! This is my exact reason for coming here, the support. I log on without anyones knowledge because they say that MFP aides in my weightloss obsession. It is primarily my husband that is against it, with negative comments from my sister and inlaws. I have an amazing little boy that I wanna see grow. But, my primary reason for wanting to lose weight is for me, I want to live and feel good both physically and mentally. Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that if my losing weight gives them the fuel to not want to be part of my life, then they were not meant to be in my life to begin with.

julieh391

"Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated." I saw this quote on here recently, and it took any worry I had about becoming "obsesses" and threw it out the window. We all want to be strong healthy people. We want to live long full lives with our loved ones. You should be proud of yourself for breaking the cycle and taking control of your health. Don't let anybody tell you what you should and shouldn't do. And please don't leave MFP just because other people don't understand your dedication. I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. But please let all of us here be your support. ((hugs))

NWCountryGal

Sometimes we have to listen to the "good" voices honey. I can't imagine living near negativity like that, I don't and haven't for years. But I would just get here as much as you can to hear the positive feedback. Also if you could hook up with even one person in your area that is doing MFP. Have you done a search on here to see who is in your area? I did and was so surprised there are so many. Then, you have to write them and see if they will buddy up. Some people will reply, others won't. The more you follow the "winners" the more your body will change and your lifestyle, you will get stronger to fight off that negativity. They will also be living proof it works! denise

Cathy7794

Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that if my losing weight gives them the fuel to not want to be part of my life, then they were not meant to be in my life to begin with.

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to accept that you're not where you belong and that you would probably be happier elsewhere. Life is too short to spend it being miserable.

RyanWilson1993

If you are overweight then i dont see the problem being on here

bluefox9er

Ignore them. Do what's best for you. You only get one shot at life. Don't let their insecurities get you down. Please please please don't give up! :flowerforyou:

^^ this ^^

NMJosephs

It sounds like your family, husband and sisters might be jealous of your dedication and successes. Keep going towards your goals and hopefully they'll be able to either accept your new lifestyle or even join you in a healthy lifestyle for themselves as well!

blonde71

Turn down the volume on naysayers, nonsense and negativity and you'll be alright.

Remember why you are here - for better health. If the ones in your life can't get on-board, it's on them. Not you.

MaraDiaz

If MFP motivates you, stay on it. Do what works for you

This. Also, on your next visit to your doctor, tell the doctor what you're doing and say is it good to count calories when I'm watching what I eat? And when the doctor says yes, you can tell your family your doctor told you to count them and it won't even be a lie. :happy:

NWCountryGal

I know some might disagree with me saying this but it sounds like abuse to me and no, you don't need abuse in your life:( Seek out as many friends on here as you can and in your area if possible. Are you under some kind of house-arrest? I'm not joking here, some people are in situations like that:(

beckyschanging

I am so sorry for your dilemma. Maybe they are threatened by the prospect of you looking good and being healthy. Your husband may be afraid he will lose you if you are "better than" him. Your in-laws may be suspecting the same thing. Do what you need to to take care of yourself first and be aware that they may need your support in the future if they decide that MFP works and they want that lifestyle for themselves! You may be able to change the family, or at least your husband, and then raise your son in the healthy lifestyle! Maybe?! Hopefully! Best of luck.

pa_jorg

Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that if my losing weight gives them the fuel to not want to be part of my life, then they were not meant to be in my life to begin with.

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear this. As long as you continue to become fit in a healthy manner, you need to remind yourself that this journey is for you! In the meantime, hopefully others will learn to support you. Often times those that have the hardest time with us changing for the better are really just upset with themselves because they feel out of control with their own weight or other life problems.

frixtine

Going from 422 to 190 cannot possibly ever be a BAD thing! That is phenomenal!!! And in all honesty 190 isn't even considered healthy, so keep doing it.

I hate to say it, but you just might be making them feel bad about themselves and they want you to fail for that reason. In my family, my brother and sister drink HEAVILY to the point of I rarely see them not drunk. When I do get around them, they always push on me that I NEED to drink, and why don't I. I tell them that I just don't like to puke anymore. They tell me to take phenergan and get over it. Now why in the hell would I take prescription meds just to drink? It's not that I dont want to be with them. I just dont want to drink. But I think that by seeing me refusing to drink, it makes them feel bad. So they've been telling me that I've changed and I'm not the same person and I must be depressed. WTFE!

Kinda sounds like the same situation to me, but just calories instead of alcohol.

byebyeluvhandles

I am new here (1 week) and I haven't told anyone that I have signed up for this site. I sign in very quickly in the evenings to log dinner and exercise and then sign out. I have support, but I'm doing this for ME. I would always say that I would NEVER count calories, but I guess like they say, "never say never"!!

I have found that counting calories helps me be accountable for what I eat, althoughtI am not ready to make my food diary public.

I'm sure you will find much support on this site as I have. I have read many topics, success stories and have seen great before and after pics.

As long as you know why you are making better choices, that's all that matters.

Feel free to add me and good luck.

AmberMahfouz

Don't let anyone bring you down. You are a gorgeous and smart and you are allowed to take control of your own life. :-)

RLDeShazo

Thank you all for the response! This is my exact reason for coming here, the support. I log on without anyones knowledge because they say that MFP aides in my weightloss obsession. It is primarily my husband that is against it, with negative comments from my sister and inlaws. I have an amazing little boy that I wanna see grow. But, my primary reason for wanting to lose weight is for me, I want to live and feel good both physically and mentally. Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that if my losing weight gives them the fuel to not want to be part of my life, then they were not meant to be in my life to begin with.

I don't know any details of your marriage, but have you tried to talk to your husband to find out why he feels so strongly against this? Is he feeling "neglected" with your new activities? Is he worried you will lose the weight and see better options and leave? Is he just controlling and being a jerk?

ichigo007

Some of family does the same. But if it works ignore them. The only time I lose weight it seems is when I use MFP.

jreeves628

My husband does the same thing. I honestly think he is jealous, as if I would leave him or something once I became a hot mama.

robinhardysmall

Stick to MFP- do it for you and your son so that one day you can see him walk across the stage and get his degree~ see him grow up and be happy- see his children one day...

Dreams are bigger and better than any family member that is getting your way- as you can see - you have plenty of support here- keep on this journey for you and your happiness.

Bobby_Clerici

Who cares what they think?
These people will all die fat. You just do what's right for you, and leave those people alone.
Never mention anything fitness or health related to them.
Let them kill themselves with a knife and fork while you work to reach your own goals.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

Gwoman2012

Sounds like your husband is controlling and doesn't like that he is losing that power over you.


Sorry, I couldn't be with someone who I had to hide being healthy from. My husband is far from healthy but he encourages me in all that I do.

Secondgoround

I can't imagine "love ones" giving you a hard time about changing your life around for the better. Just keep doing what you're doing...you're a grown woman and don't need anyone's approval for what you're doing. You have plenty of people here to support and reaffirm what you're doing.

mommasox

You can friend me if you would like. Thats what I love about MFP.... everyone here is very supportive.

You are doing what is right for you and your lil one. Being healthy is a great thing for you and them. You are teaching them that being healthy is a way of life and thats being a great momma.