I'm starting to feel disgruntled by some members...help!
elizabethl27
Posts: 52 Member
I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it
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Replies
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I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
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as someone with an eating disorder this site helps me by encouraging me to eat my 1200 cal minimum, because my particular ED involves a lot of restricting type activities. but i am 'post recovery' meaning that while i still struggle with my ed i have been through and still receive therapy and see a dr regularly. I'm trying to take my health seriously and set realistic goals for myself.0
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People with eating disorders (defined as anorexia or similar, I assume, not as eating too much) may find help here just like we all find help here, with support and information.
As for someone of a similar height wanting to weigh less, bone structure can make a big difference in how much fat a person is carrying at a given weight. A small boned person like me at 145 pounds, for example, is entirely different from a big boned person at 145, even if we're the same height. So comparing your goal weight with another person's is a bad idea.0 -
I am 5'10" and my goal is 175. That's realistic for me. If I get down a little lower, that's great, but never I let anyone else's goals influence my own. You have to do what is right for you, not someone else.0
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I am often deeply concerned by the advise people give on the message board. Sometimes it's downright dangerous. I was talking to my wife the other day about how safe a message board is where people with no real nutrition training, read a few articles and spew out advice.0
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Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.0
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Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.
That should go without saying, but I've seen very desperate people asking for advice and getting "dangerous" responses.0 -
I think the number one thing to take away from all this is "Don't compare yourself to others."
What you see, is superficial - you don't know what it has taken for that person to be where he/she may be.
I am 5'6" I have weighed as little as 101 pounds and as much as 271 pounds. I want to be at the highest weight recommended by the sliding scale for my height/age category. I also used to lift weights a lot and when I was working out with weights, I increased my weight but reduced my body size - I started out weighing 129 wearing a size 11 and within 8 weeks I was wearing a size 7 weighing in at 142 - I changed my body that much.
Remember weight is just a number - it is how you feel - are you healthy, do you feel beautiful? If not, then I would seriously suggest you seek professional assistance. Believe me I know EDs are nothing to mess around with.
So find one thing you like about yourself - just one and have that be your reason everyday for trying to make a Healthy change!0 -
I don't have any problems with people who are trying to work it out to being healthy. Recovering from an ED is also a difficult struggle just like those who are having hard time to lose weight. Just like someone trying to lose weight, it also take a lot of time for someone recovering from an ED to adjust himself/herself with the change & there are still times that we feel bad & have the desire to go back to old habits. So with all of these struggles comes the need of support & motivation instead of judging them by their eating habits.as someone with an eating disorder this site helps me by encouraging me to eat my 1200 cal minimum, because my particular ED involves a lot of restricting type activities. but i am 'post recovery' meaning that while i still struggle with my ed i have been through and still receive therapy and see a dr regularly. I'm trying to take my health seriously and set realistic goals for myself.
However what I don't find healthy are those who are posting pro-ana or pro-mia things like they're encouraging others to do the same.0 -
Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.
That should go without saying, but I've seen very desperate people asking for advice and getting "dangerous" responses.
I know if you report posts like that the mods do delete them, though. Discussing the joys of a 400 calorie a day diet, for example, are not allowed here. A pity, who doesn't want to lose clumps of hair and some teeth while losing weight? :laugh:0 -
Goals are such an individual part of the process, as are the weight loss methods!
Yes, I am 5'10" and at 140lbs at the low end of my BMI, but everyone is different.
Set your goals, and only adjust them if YOU feel that you would be happy to do so, not because you feel like you've been influenced by someone else.
I copped a LOT of comments from people when I first lost 70lbs. I even got told by my then husband that he didn't find me attractive any more under 'x' weight, but I did it for ME dammit and I know that I'm healthier for it now!
But, this site is also about being able to vent - so feel free to let it all out
Good luck in your journey.0 -
However what I don't find healthy are those who are posting pro-ana or pro-mia things like they're encouraging others to do the same.
So true. I try to avoid it and remind myself my reasons for getting better, but as mentioned earlier some thread titles are deceiving or evolve into something else.0 -
Report posts if you feel they are glorifying ED.
I've been on the Internet long enough to treat it as what it is...the wild, wild west of information and misinformation, genuine souls and basement dwellers. Tread with caution. Research, research, research. Exercise common sense. Eating 500 calories a day is not common sense. Hell, even what I'm eating is probably too little (working on bumping up the calorie intake gradually though). Tread with caution.
I have no issues with people who are recovering from ED. We all have our own struggles. Let's try not to drag anyone else down with us. By the same token, don't let anyone be the crab dragging you down to the bucket floor.0 -
I guess really it's all up to the indiviual, What would make them happy and be more confident....
I understand somewhat because I am 4ft 11in. I "SHOULD" be 92-120 pounds according to the doctors. brahahahahahahahah, I haven't been that age since I was in 5th grade! So for me.....I reflect back on when I was younger and 140 pounds....That's the perfect size for me....People are strange creatures......sometimes we are never satisfied or never have enough......but we all have different obcessions......I say to each their own and I know who I am and where I need to be and in the long run....for me that's what's important.....We're all here to get help oneway or the other......0 -
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
I'm 5'9" and actually looked like a drug addict when I got down to 174, so it's different for everyone really, but the closer you get to the goal your Dr. set for you, the better you'll be able to determine if that is right for you or not.0 -
If sites like this had been around (well, if widespread internet had existed at all!) when I was a teenager and first trying to lose weight, I might not have ended up starving myself like an ignorant fool. I think this site may help some people before they develop lifelong bad habits or worse.0
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Those kind of posts don't make me feel like I need to be thinner than what my goal is. But they disturb me so much! When I see a profile pic of a rail thin 20 year old and her goal is to loose 30 more pounds I kind of loose it. It worries me and I don't know what to say. A lot of times the title is something like "I can't loose weight", well its because you are already too thin, but you get people giving advice on how to loose when everyone should be saying, "Its because you shouldn't be loosing any more weight"!0
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I totally agree, I was disheartened to see pregnant people using this also, maybe Im old fashioned but during pregnancy
you shouldnt be limiting to 1200 calories or exercising your behind off. Maybe that was just in my day, I did run during my
pregnancies but this is a scary thought. My goal is 130 but Im only 5'2. I think too skinny is not a grand idea either.
I also think when one is too skinny they dont look healthy either, maybe another old fashioned idea.
Im careful about advising too much myself because I dont know anyones full history on here. I like to give kuddos
to my friends for meeting goals but those on my friends list so far are in the same boat I am.
Happy losing 0 -
I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
um ya I see them that height and weight wanting to be 115 or worse 105.. GROSS!!!!!0 -
I guess really it's all up to the indiviual, What would make them happy and be more confident....
I understand somewhat because I am 4ft 11in. I "SHOULD" be 92-120 pounds according to the doctors. brahahahahahahahah, I haven't been that age since I was in 5th grade! So for me.....I reflect back on when I was younger and 140 pounds....That's the perfect size for me....People are strange creatures......sometimes we are never satisfied or never have enough......but we all have different obcessions......I say to each their own and I know who I am and where I need to be and in the long run....for me that's what's important.....We're all here to get help oneway or the other......
sounds like me... 0 -
There's an ignore function. Use it. It's what I do when I realize I can't tolerate a poster.
Makes life easier on here easier0 -
Be settled and clear about what your own goals are. Set a good example. It will strengthen those that are weak!I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it0 -
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
I'm 5'9" and actually looked like a drug addict when I got down to 174, so it's different for everyone really, but the closer you get to the goal your Dr. set for you, the better you'll be able to determine if that is right for you or not.
I'm 5'9" and I'm pretty sure that 180 is the lowest that I want to go. It's odd how different people of the same height have different goals : ) but that's the beauty of it- we're all our own creatures.0 -
Report posts if you feel they are glorifying ED.
I've been on the Internet long enough to treat it as what it is...the wild, wild west of information and misinformation, genuine souls and basement dwellers. Tread with caution. Research, research, research. Exercise common sense. Eating 500 calories a day is not common sense. Hell, even what I'm eating is probably too little (working on bumping up the calorie intake gradually though). Tread with caution.
I have no issues with people who are recovering from ED. We all have our own struggles. Let's try not to drag anyone else down with us. By the same token, don't let anyone be the crab dragging you down to the bucket floor.
Excellent advice.
Oh and about bumping your eating up, don't worry, you'll get there. It seems like it took me forever to bump my calories up from barely hitting 1200 to eating around 1800-1900 now because so much of it was in my head. Funny thing is, I'm losing weight at about the same rate, lol!0 -
I agree0
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There is a friend or support for most everyone that comes here but not everyone can support everyone completely. I cant support people that are near starving themselves...I cant congratulate them for that and not feel like I am l a liar. But there are people that can identify and support those people. I need to find support with like minded people.0
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Totally totally totally agree! Drives me nuts!
Yes some people have different body shapes and frames( I myself have a large frame, always knew it but confirmed it with the wrist measurement test.) but being below BMI is still not healthy
I don't understand the craze to be a US 2 or a UK 6 for me that is seriously skinny. Even a US 4 or UK 8 is tiny!
Sme people have very unhealthy body images and goals.
Yes being overweight is bad but being underweight with a bad attitude to healthy eating is just as bad...0 -
thought it was me being jelous of skinny girls wanting to lose weight ( i kinda thought was green eyed monster)
To me this is a journey I want to suceed in, I love food and don't want to ever not love it, I don't care if i lose 1lb a week (hey i still be at target witin 18 months)
Everyone wants to lose quickly but what conerns me people are not looking at long term, If you cut back to much now what do you do when last few lbs to lose or maintaining.
whole idea is be healthy snd run around with kids and be happy, being 'skinny' isnt a priority i want to be a uk 12 all shops i know sells a uk 12 and to me thats healthy, just because i feel im big anyway im never going be a size 10
In my head this is forever now a new way of life, even when im at target i know i'll have to watch what goes into my mouth theres no quick fix.0 -
I think the idea of setting up yourself to weigh a specific amount is a bad idea. To say "I want to be X pounds" is to have put absolutely no thought into your health. Truthfully, people should instead be discussing how many pounds of FAT they want to lose (after having found out how many pounds of fat they really have).
Bone structure, as everyone has mentioned, plays a large roll in all this as well.
As for people with eating disorders, I noticed some put their goals as to gain weight and I see their charts accordingly, which is VERY cool.
I do not like women (great friends though!) but the ones that are hella beautiful to me are the ones with more curves and a little weight and decent tones. Basically the girls from the 20's through 40's. Great hour glass figures and not afraid of the buffet on occasion he he.0 -
I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person).
In your first statement you say that they are completely unrealistic (or even anorexic) goals, but then go on to say that it makes you feel like you need to be even thinner. That does not make sense to me. If you realize the goals are completely unrealistic, then why would you feel that you need to be thinner to be like that? If you feel the need to be thinner based on someone elses unrealistic goals, then those are issues that you need to work on. Not trying to be a downer myself, just realistic.
What I suspect (if I can be honest) is that those posts probably don't truly make you feel like you need to be thinner, but rather they irritate you, and this was your way of brining that up. 0
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