I'm starting to feel disgruntled by some members...help!
Replies
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I agree 100%!
Its hard enough for people who are overweight to loose... Hollywood is shoving "THIN" down our throats, society tells us we need to to "THIN' to be liked, popular, healthy, etc... and this site can be very disillusioning to people who come here to loose the weight "the healthy way"... I've had friends drop the site because of this. I also believe I've had friends take up unhealthy habits/try unhealthy ways to loose even MORE weight when they shouldn't.
I understand that ED's are a mental health disorder and very hard to manage, but when other people see their goals, its very hard to see the truth through it and keep healthy, realistic goals for themselves.
That's my 2 cents0 -
I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
ugh ! see, i am 5'8" and i was told I had to weigh 165.
i think it differs everywhere.0 -
Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..0
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I've seen too many viagra commercials to appreciate shortening Eating Disorder to ED....0
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I've seen too many viagra commercials to appreciate shortening Eating Disorder to ED....
lol!!! :laugh:
I always think to myself "special ED" when I use this acronym!0 -
i sometimes get frustrated myself when i read posts/comments but then i remind myself everyone has their reason (i'm not talking about those that have ED). i also remind myself my goal is set for ME, my AGE, my lifestyle, my body. i'll never be under 100lbs nor do i want to be. a stick is not attractive. it's unhealthy. set your goals for YOU and no one else. personally i want to be FIT, TONED and healthy.I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?
Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it0 -
I wish MFP had an option which allowed a person to hover over a title to see the first sentence or so of the post. That way we could avoid the subjects we wish to avoid and be sure to check out the stuff we are interested in. When a person puts "Help" or "Frustrated" as the subject title of the post, it is just too vague. I suggested this once but never heard back from the site admins.0
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I'm 5'10" and my goal is 150-155. I was at 152 and a size six a few years ago, so I know how I will look at that weight and it's not "anorexic". I have a small frame and 170 is a bit too much weight on me. That weight puts me at a tight size 12 because I gain all of the weight in my stomach and butt.
However, on the Tall Women thread, I've seen gals my height and weight who are a size 14-16 and some who are a size 8. It all depends on how an individual carries weight, so I ignore the goals of others and focus on my own. I don't want to be someone else, I want to be the best me.
And I will put in the disclaimer that if I get to a size 6 and weigh more than my goal weight, I will be fine with that. The size is more important to me than the weight.0 -
Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..
I don't like this comment. I am here to lose my 'recovery weight' in a healthy way. i'm not looking to weigh under 100 lbs because that's not healthy for me, but that i'm trying to lose weight is 'insulting' you is not really something i can help. Would you prefer we went back to old habits or started trying to build new, healthier habits? Isn't that what a lot of people with a lot to lose want as well, to build healthier habits? I don't see why my presence here is insulting you. i really wish we all could just support each other in the idea of health instead of claiming that so and so's presence is insulting you because of life situations. The base of eating disorders is an unhealthy relationship with food, just like with many overweight people. It might play out differently in everyone's life but do not lessen someone else's desire to be more healthy with hanging a number over our heads.0 -
When I come across posts with what I perceive as unrealistic or dangerous goals, I remind myself that this person isn't me, and isn't who I should mirror my goals after.
There are people with eating disorders that really believe what they are posting.
There are people that will post such things as a means to get attention, even if it is negative.
There are dozens of reasons why you will see what you perceive as dangerous or unrealistic posts.
When you come across them, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that that person is not you.
You are here to get healthy.
You and your Doctor have already discussed what your goal weight should be.
You have a plan.
You have a support system in myfitnesspal.
Don't get derailed by nonsense.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods0 -
I am often deeply concerned by the advise people give on the message board. Sometimes it's downright dangerous. I was talking to my wife the other day about how safe a message board is where people with no real nutrition training, read a few articles and spew out advice.
This is why you always check with your doctor or a nutrionalist:)0 -
Honestly I really don't have energy to worry if others' goal is good or bad. I am ony focusing on how to achieve mine, which could be unrealistic to many of you. LOL0
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I boot such Darwin awards from my friend list, BLOCK them as well as fix my forum setting to IGNORE USER.
ED's have no business on MFP; they need an ED support community geared toward addressing their needs moderated by a professional.
Nobody here can help them.:frown:0 -
Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..
You can't be serious, can you? Are they really insulting you those who set their goal under 100 lb?0 -
I'm puzzled as to why seeing the unrealistic or anorexic goals of someone with an eating disorder would cause you to question your own goals. Are you that easily influenced?0
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maybe u need to change ur friends0
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Reporting a post is a good idea. Too bad we can't do the same with many of the media's messages.
Although I did hear about a young lady who took 'Seventeen' to task (and won) about their pictures.0 -
I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal
I'm 5'9" and actually looked like a drug addict when I got down to 174, so it's different for everyone really, but the closer you get to the goal your Dr. set for you, the better you'll be able to determine if that is right for you or not.
I'm 5'9" and I'm pretty sure that 180 is the lowest that I want to go. It's odd how different people of the same height have different goals : ) but that's the beauty of it- we're all our own creatures. for those with goal of 200 lb might think yours is "unrealistic". I think it's all relative. I believe there was a similar thread going on a couple of days ago. That OP was ranting about people who want to lose just 10 or 20 pounds... 0 -
I am 5'10" and my goal is 175. That's realistic for me. If I get down a little lower, that's great, but never I let anyone else's goals influence my own. You have to do what is right for you, not someone else.
pretty much the same here, i am 5'10 and my goal is 170. I can't speak for everyone, but when i was in my 20's i got down to 127 and the modeling agencies told me to lose AT LEAST another 10-15 lbs. i got to the point where i was eating 500 or fewer calories a day. It took a health issue brought on by the extreme diet to snap me out of it. I think alot of it has to do with age, being comfortable with yourself and not bowing to the pressure that modeling and fashion industry sets for us.0 -
I am 5'10" and my goal is 175. That's realistic for me. If I get down a little lower, that's great, but never I let anyone else's goals influence my own. You have to do what is right for you, not someone else.
pretty much the same here, i am 5'10 and my goal is 170. I can't speak for everyone, but when i was in my 20's i got down to 127 and the modeling agencies told me to lose AT LEAST another 10-15 lbs. i got to the point where i was eating 500 or fewer calories a day. It took a health issue brought on by the extreme diet to snap me out of it. I think alot of it has to do with age, being comfortable with yourself and not bowing to the pressure that modeling and fashion industry sets for us.
You were in the wrong business. Seriouly I think these modeling agencies and film casting are simply murderers!0 -
Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..
What's insulting is that you think you have some kind of right to judge other people. They may not be walking the same path as you, but theirs may be longer. Think before you type.0 -
Diet down the most comfortable and sustainable way you can.
And dont worry about others!
We are all different Shapes and sizes!
The #1 thing to always remember is EAT YOUR GIVEN CALORIES!
If you are 5'3" in the 20-40 age range and work out 3x a week you should be netting about 1600+ daily.
I have a post where you can figure out your TDEE if it helps:
>>>>>IMPORTANT!!! To get your numbers right please visit---> http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12 <---read the instructions. I lay everything out to help you have a true fat burning diet.<<<<<<<
And dont beat yourself up if you go over a day or eat a HoHo!
Chances are it wont act to negatively towards your goal.
In fact most "whooshes" are preceded by a slight binge/cheat/spike day.
PM me if you have any Qs about TDEE or BMR and i'll help as best I can!
Hugs!0 -
Although being here is more a personal decision that has nothing to do with other people goals or methods, what i never understand is why people Do support them if they are obviously wrong, but I understand one reason is we don't want other to tell us 'you're just being jealous' when is more like 'i kinda care about it'...nevermind.
I do got sometimes a little discourages when I almost die on a treadmill for 30 mins to burn 250 cals and people post they burned 1400 to 1500 cals daily on an elliptical (and they still don't loose that much periodically even eating acceptable)
I hate the elliptical I feel is a cheat device, really...not that I take the calorie meter on the treadmill so seriously, but at least it feels I earned them haha.
Good day everyone.0 -
Diet down the most comfortable and sustainable way you can.
And dont worry about others!
We are all different Shapes and sizes!
The #1 thing to always remember is EAT YOUR GIVEN CALORIES!
If you are 5'3" in the 20-40 age range and work out 3x a week you should be netting about 1600+ daily.
I have a post where you can figure out your TDEE if it helps:
>>>>>IMPORTANT!!! To get your numbers right please visit---> http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12 <---read the instructions. I lay everything out to help you have a true fat burning diet.<<<<<<<
And dont beat yourself up if you go over a day or eat a HoHo!
Chances are it wont act to negatively towards your goal.
In fact most "whooshes" are preceded by a slight binge/cheat/spike day.
PM me if you have any Qs about TDEE or BMR and i'll help as best I can!
Hugs!
wow....you are seriouly promoting your belief everywhere you can. There's nothing wrong with what you are saying but I find it ..not so relavant to the subject here. 0 -
Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..
I have a lot to lose, and I'm not insulted. They made different life choices than me. They lived and ate differently than me. They are making different choices now and into the future. Why would that bother me? Now, if they are sick or suffering and still trying to be that perfect size...I would be bothered out of basic human compassion and empathy, not out of jealousy.
If they are not glorifying ED or flaming/trolling, they have as much right to post here as everyone else does.0 -
If sites like this had been around (well, if widespread internet had existed at all!) when I was a teenager and first trying to lose weight, I might not have ended up starving myself like an ignorant fool. I think this site may help some people before they develop lifelong bad habits or worse.
Nicely stated. I have an ED in the past, and MFP is helping me stay on track and not binge/purge. I like it for the accountability, the support, and the ease of use (most of the time).
I don't understand, though...why would you change your weight goal based on someone else's goal? Everyone has a different body type. I'm 5'6" and there is no WAY I could every weight less than my goal weight because I have a really large chest. (Just an example, not bragging by any means) 0 -
Diet down the most comfortable and sustainable way you can.
And dont worry about others!
We are all different Shapes and sizes!
The #1 thing to always remember is EAT YOUR GIVEN CALORIES!
If you are 5'3" in the 20-40 age range and work out 3x a week you should be netting about 1600+ daily.
I have a post where you can figure out your TDEE if it helps:
>>>>>IMPORTANT!!! To get your numbers right please visit---> http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12 <---read the instructions. I lay everything out to help you have a true fat burning diet.<<<<<<<
And dont beat yourself up if you go over a day or eat a HoHo!
Chances are it wont act to negatively towards your goal.
In fact most "whooshes" are preceded by a slight binge/cheat/spike day.
PM me if you have any Qs about TDEE or BMR and i'll help as best I can!
Hugs!
wow....you are seriouly promoting your belief everywhere you can. There's nothing wrong with what you are saying but I find it ..not so relavant to the subject here.
All apologies!
I had several windows up and posted the wrong one.
*kindly bows out*
Stupid 27' iMac!
=D0 -
People with eating disorders (defined as anorexia or similar, I assume, not as eating too much) may find help here just like we all find help here, with support and information.
As for someone of a similar height wanting to weigh less, bone structure can make a big difference in how much fat a person is carrying at a given weight. A small boned person like me at 145 pounds, for example, is entirely different from a big boned person at 145, even if we're the same height. So comparing your goal weight with another person's is a bad idea.
I agree with Mara.
Original poster, you're questioning how healthy it is for others to be here yet you're the one that is being influenced by it. Is that healthy?
from your post -Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it0 -
I am healthiest at size 6-8, which for me at 5'9", is about 138 lbs. I'm making 140 lbs be my goal...but, God knows. I'll be thrilled at 150, too!! Be healthy and stay true to yourself. YOU life in your skin..no-one else does. Healthy usually means sexy!0
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So don't read them. Problem solved.0
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