I'm starting to feel disgruntled by some members...help!

Options
24

Replies

  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
    Options
    There's an ignore function. Use it. It's what I do when I realize I can't tolerate a poster.

    Makes life easier on here easier
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?

    Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.

    Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it :)
    Be settled and clear about what your own goals are. Set a good example. It will strengthen those that are weak!
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Options

    I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal :(

    I'm 5'9" and actually looked like a drug addict when I got down to 174, so it's different for everyone really, but the closer you get to the goal your Dr. set for you, the better you'll be able to determine if that is right for you or not.

    I'm 5'9" and I'm pretty sure that 180 is the lowest that I want to go. It's odd how different people of the same height have different goals : ) but that's the beauty of it- we're all our own creatures.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Options
    Report posts if you feel they are glorifying ED.

    I've been on the Internet long enough to treat it as what it is...the wild, wild west of information and misinformation, genuine souls and basement dwellers. Tread with caution. Research, research, research. Exercise common sense. Eating 500 calories a day is not common sense. Hell, even what I'm eating is probably too little (working on bumping up the calorie intake gradually though). Tread with caution.

    I have no issues with people who are recovering from ED. We all have our own struggles. Let's try not to drag anyone else down with us. By the same token, don't let anyone be the crab dragging you down to the bucket floor.

    Excellent advice.

    Oh and about bumping your eating up, don't worry, you'll get there. It seems like it took me forever to bump my calories up from barely hitting 1200 to eating around 1800-1900 now because so much of it was in my head. Funny thing is, I'm losing weight at about the same rate, lol!
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    I agree
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    There is a friend or support for most everyone that comes here but not everyone can support everyone completely. I cant support people that are near starving themselves...I cant congratulate them for that and not feel like I am l a liar. But there are people that can identify and support those people. I need to find support with like minded people.
  • Martina_Who
    Martina_Who Posts: 172 Member
    Options
    Totally totally totally agree! Drives me nuts!

    Yes some people have different body shapes and frames( I myself have a large frame, always knew it but confirmed it with the wrist measurement test.) but being below BMI is still not healthy

    I don't understand the craze to be a US 2 or a UK 6 for me that is seriously skinny. Even a US 4 or UK 8 is tiny!
    Sme people have very unhealthy body images and goals.

    Yes being overweight is bad but being underweight with a bad attitude to healthy eating is just as bad...
  • gemmalouise85
    gemmalouise85 Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    thought it was me being jelous of skinny girls wanting to lose weight ( i kinda thought was green eyed monster)

    To me this is a journey I want to suceed in, I love food and don't want to ever not love it, I don't care if i lose 1lb a week (hey i still be at target witin 18 months)

    Everyone wants to lose quickly but what conerns me people are not looking at long term, If you cut back to much now what do you do when last few lbs to lose or maintaining.

    whole idea is be healthy snd run around with kids and be happy, being 'skinny' isnt a priority i want to be a uk 12 all shops i know sells a uk 12 and to me thats healthy, just because i feel im big anyway im never going be a size 10

    In my head this is forever now a new way of life, even when im at target i know i'll have to watch what goes into my mouth theres no quick fix.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Options
    I think the idea of setting up yourself to weigh a specific amount is a bad idea. To say "I want to be X pounds" is to have put absolutely no thought into your health. Truthfully, people should instead be discussing how many pounds of FAT they want to lose (after having found out how many pounds of fat they really have).

    Bone structure, as everyone has mentioned, plays a large roll in all this as well.

    As for people with eating disorders, I noticed some put their goals as to gain weight and I see their charts accordingly, which is VERY cool.

    I do not like women (great friends though!) but the ones that are hella beautiful to me are the ones with more curves and a little weight and decent tones. Basically the girls from the 20's through 40's. Great hour glass figures and not afraid of the buffet on occasion he he.
  • CMmomx4
    CMmomx4 Posts: 25
    Options
    I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person).

    In your first statement you say that they are completely unrealistic (or even anorexic) goals, but then go on to say that it makes you feel like you need to be even thinner. That does not make sense to me. If you realize the goals are completely unrealistic, then why would you feel that you need to be thinner to be like that? If you feel the need to be thinner based on someone elses unrealistic goals, then those are issues that you need to work on. Not trying to be a downer myself, just realistic.

    What I suspect (if I can be honest :)) is that those posts probably don't truly make you feel like you need to be thinner, but rather they irritate you, and this was your way of brining that up. :)
  • Cheri_Moves
    Cheri_Moves Posts: 625 Member
    Options
    I agree 100%!

    Its hard enough for people who are overweight to loose... Hollywood is shoving "THIN" down our throats, society tells us we need to to "THIN' to be liked, popular, healthy, etc... and this site can be very disillusioning to people who come here to loose the weight "the healthy way"... I've had friends drop the site because of this. I also believe I've had friends take up unhealthy habits/try unhealthy ways to loose even MORE weight when they shouldn't.

    I understand that ED's are a mental health disorder and very hard to manage, but when other people see their goals, its very hard to see the truth through it and keep healthy, realistic goals for themselves.

    That's my 2 cents
  • ashbee03
    ashbee03 Posts: 270 Member
    Options
    I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?

    Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.

    Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it :)

    I totally agree! I am 5'8"- 5'9" and the goal that my doctor and I set is for me to be 150 lbs. However, I see a lot of girls on here at my height that weigh 130....then I start thinking maybe I should change my goal :(

    ugh ! see, i am 5'8" and i was told I had to weigh 165.
    i think it differs everywhere.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
    Options
    Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Options
    I've seen too many viagra commercials to appreciate shortening Eating Disorder to ED....
  • Cheri_Moves
    Cheri_Moves Posts: 625 Member
    Options
    I've seen too many viagra commercials to appreciate shortening Eating Disorder to ED....

    lol!!! :laugh:
    I always think to myself "special ED" when I use this acronym!
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    Options
    i sometimes get frustrated myself when i read posts/comments but then i remind myself everyone has their reason (i'm not talking about those that have ED). i also remind myself my goal is set for ME, my AGE, my lifestyle, my body. i'll never be under 100lbs nor do i want to be. a stick is not attractive. it's unhealthy. set your goals for YOU and no one else. personally i want to be FIT, TONED and healthy.
    I keep seeing posts with questions or statements about completely unrealistic (even sometimes anorexic) goals. I do not have the best body perception, so when I see these posts, it makes me feel like I need to be even thinner (especially when people support that person). I am not trying to be a downer, or complain, and I try to avoid these posts altogether. Titles can be misleading though! Anybody else ever feel this way?

    Also, how healthy is it for people with eating disorders to be on this site? This is an honest, curious question because I know in some cases it can help people really do what is healthy and right, but I know it can also make others go overboard.

    Sorry for the rant, but I just had to do it :)
  • Discoveri
    Discoveri Posts: 435 Member
    Options
    I wish MFP had an option which allowed a person to hover over a title to see the first sentence or so of the post. That way we could avoid the subjects we wish to avoid and be sure to check out the stuff we are interested in. When a person puts "Help" or "Frustrated" as the subject title of the post, it is just too vague. I suggested this once but never heard back from the site admins.
  • Matiara
    Matiara Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    I'm 5'10" and my goal is 150-155. I was at 152 and a size six a few years ago, so I know how I will look at that weight and it's not "anorexic". I have a small frame and 170 is a bit too much weight on me. That weight puts me at a tight size 12 because I gain all of the weight in my stomach and butt.

    However, on the Tall Women thread, I've seen gals my height and weight who are a size 14-16 and some who are a size 8. It all depends on how an individual carries weight, so I ignore the goals of others and focus on my own. I don't want to be someone else, I want to be the best me.

    And I will put in the disclaimer that if I get to a size 6 and weigh more than my goal weight, I will be fine with that. The size is more important to me than the weight.
  • jadedzen
    jadedzen Posts: 221 Member
    Options
    Unless the person with an ED is set to 'maintain' or even 'gain', they have no place here at all. =| I get very frustrated when I see someone has set their goal weight is under 100 lbs. =( It is insulting to those that really do have a lot to lose..

    I don't like this comment. I am here to lose my 'recovery weight' in a healthy way. i'm not looking to weigh under 100 lbs because that's not healthy for me, but that i'm trying to lose weight is 'insulting' you is not really something i can help. Would you prefer we went back to old habits or started trying to build new, healthier habits? Isn't that what a lot of people with a lot to lose want as well, to build healthier habits? I don't see why my presence here is insulting you. i really wish we all could just support each other in the idea of health instead of claiming that so and so's presence is insulting you because of life situations. The base of eating disorders is an unhealthy relationship with food, just like with many overweight people. It might play out differently in everyone's life but do not lessen someone else's desire to be more healthy with hanging a number over our heads.
  • subtlewhisper
    subtlewhisper Posts: 31 Member
    Options
    When I come across posts with what I perceive as unrealistic or dangerous goals, I remind myself that this person isn't me, and isn't who I should mirror my goals after.

    There are people with eating disorders that really believe what they are posting.

    There are people that will post such things as a means to get attention, even if it is negative.

    There are dozens of reasons why you will see what you perceive as dangerous or unrealistic posts.

    When you come across them, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that that person is not you.

    You are here to get healthy.

    You and your Doctor have already discussed what your goal weight should be.

    You have a plan.

    You have a support system in myfitnesspal.

    Don't get derailed by nonsense.

    You can do this.

    I believe in you.



    25101989.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Categories