MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME FAT!

ZiezieO

Okay, so he's not all to blame. However, since we moved in together-about a year and a half ago, I've gained a solid 40 lbs. I was a healthy size of 120-130lbs before, and I bloomed!
I'll admit I was taking zoloft, which has been said to increase weight gain like nobody's business. I stopped taking that (with dr help) 6 months ago. I am having a tough time shedding the weight in a timely fashion until recently...

I've noticed something funny. My loving guy loves to eat junk food. I don't really like it, but sometimes I'll have a bite. He doesn't enjoy cooking, but he loves to eat anything I make. On the other hand, I love food. I'm really passionate about cooking and baking for others... but when it's just me, I turn into a minimalist. My guy has been gone for 4 days and I've noticed that I've been having a heck of a time getting my min calories! I just forget to eat! I get so busy and I'm not thinking about anyone else needing to be fed. It's crazy. I do believe this must be why I was skinny before, simply because when no one is around, my hungry pangs are completely muted. So, as a joke I called him and said that he made me fat.

He thinks that's hilarious. what a booger.

Does anyone else notice the difference when their significant other is around vs not?

caraiselite

relationships always make people fat (unless they work out together ofc)

millyvanilli321

My boyfriend has the same effect on me! When we got together some of our best dates were cooking together and having dinner (neither of us can afford restaurants regularly!) so a lot of our time focused on food. He was quite skinny when we met, and being lactose intolerant he naturally eats quite a low fat diet, but this also means that when he finds a chocolate or sweet treat he can eat, he WILL eat it, and LOTS of it!! Because we live and cook together all the time, I am now on quite a low dairy diet, but this didn't help my weight, as I found I put ON weight once we moved in together!!

He will sit with a packet of biscuits and munch his way through the whole packet. He used to give me one every time he had one (and i'd take it without thinking). Now, I have only one (if i have enough cals left!) and tell him that if he wants to keep eating them, at least put the packet out of my view - out of sight, out of mind!

Having a supportive partner really can help in the weight loss process!

kallisto208

I had that exact same problem when I was with my ex. He had the metabolism of a horse - he was 6'4" and a buck 30, could eat for 3 and never gain a pound. I was so jealous but because of that, it meant I was cooking a ton of food all the time to feed his monstrous appetite and that translated into me eating a lot more food than I should have too. He also didn't really care about what he was eating either and I was just getting out of the military by this time so I stopped caring too and I put on the nearly infamous "Veteran 100" in a short period of time with him around. Adding not being active except for walking between classes, it really hurt me.

Good job for recognizing it though, maybe the two of you together can make some healthy lifestyle choices that won't only benefit you, but also him in the long run.

back2danni

I know exactly what you mean! After moving in with my boyfriend I packed on an extra 20 pounds! Of course wanting to be a good woman, I was cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for him and when I wasn't cooking we were ordering things, like pizza, subs, chinese and all that stuff thats not good for you! another thing was my boyfriend loves pop which i can go with out drinking but for some reason I would drink some with him, on top of eating late! Needless to say I am unhappy with the weight gain while he has gained nothing! I think its so much easier to pack on those pounds with your mate because of comfortability and not remaining aware of the things we are consuming. Like you, my everyday life is so busy that I would tend to forget to eat somedays or end up eating one meal for the entire day while drinking lots of water (although that still isn't healthy) but that was my lifestyle before love Any who, It's weird how your lifestyle can be influenced in a such a way by something so simple. but I think if u and your boyfriend start working out together and make better choices in the food your consuming together, you will be just fine!!

iWaffle

He will sit with a packet of biscuits and munch his way through the whole packet. He used to give me one every time he had one (and i'd take it without thinking). Now, I have only one (if i have enough cals left!) and tell him that if he wants to keep eating them, at least put the packet out of my view - out of sight, out of mind!

If there's much of a size difference you can't try to eat the same as him. I'm 6'2" and my wife is 5'3". Needless to say if she tried to eat the same dinner as me she'd be in trouble. Don't try to outdrink the Irishman at the bar and don't try to keep up with your male companion at the table.

millyvanilli321

If there's much of a size difference you can't try to eat the same as him. I'm 6'2" and my wife is 5'3". Needless to say if she tried to eat the same dinner as me she'd be in trouble. Don't try to outdrink the Irishman at the bar and don't try to keep up with your male companion at the table.

I don't think it's a case of trying to keep up, it's more not really thinking hard about portion size. I don't know about others, but i have realized that when there is conversation at the table, whether it's dining with friends or simply me and my partner, I need to focus more on my plate and recognize when my stomach tells me that it's had enough food to feel satisfied, rather than get lost in chatting. If I don't listen to my body, I only finish eating when the plate is empty and BOOM i feel over-full and regret immediately not thinking about every mouthful.

joslin2005

When my husband was deployed, I lost 30 pounds. When he came home, I gained 30 pounds back. So yeah. :noway:

laulyn

I gained a number of pounds which shall not be named when my boyfriend and I moved in together (more than 40!!). I totally blame him! Just joking, It is harder though. He also custom harvests so he is gone for an extended period of time. I eat and drink far less when he is gone. I love having a drink on the deck with him, but it can pack some calories. I really work to limit my drinks and drink and full glass of water before and after a cocktail.

aloranger7708

My boyfriend made me fat also! Like you, I gained 40 lbs after we started dating. I never used to eat junk food, but he'll always insist on having pizza nights (and has a nasty obsession with McDonalds) because it's 'easier'

hippychickuk

Oh yeah, my husband totally made me fat.

When we first met, I would do some of the cooking, but it took a while for him to admit that he hated my cooking -- never enough food he said!! I never cook potatoes, which is a staple for him. Since we got married, I gained just over 40lbs. Now that he sees I am really committed to changing the way I eat, he will get me broccoli while he eats potatoes. He's also learned to leave white space on my plate rather than completely packing it full of food, like he does for himself.

I would, however, also point out that since we got married, I'm pretty sure he has gained at least 50lbs. :bigsmile:

Kamikazeflutterby

Since I joined MFP I've been making my husband thin. He's lost weight faster than I have. :grumble:

HunterKiller_wechange

lol i like how you all blame your boyfriends. Did they force feed you crap? NO. Its just down to you all not being able to say no to junk and sitting around on your lazy arses all day not working out! :laugh:

Kamikazeflutterby

lol i like how you all blame your boyfriends. Did they force feed you crap? NO. Its just down to you all not being able to say no to junk and sitting around on your lazy arses all day not working out! :laugh:

Yeah, that comment will end well for you.

taunto

MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME FAT!

On the Fourth of July, I present to you whats wrong with our mentality ladies and gentlemen.

Your boyfriend didn't made you fat. Unless he was tieing you up force feeding you pure lard I doubt you got fat because of him. You got fat because you ate more than you burned.

HunterKiller_wechange

lol i like how you all blame your boyfriends. Did they force feed you crap? NO. Its just down to you all not being able to say no to junk and sitting around on your lazy arses all day not working out! :laugh:

Yeah, that comment will end well for you.

Comment was meant in jest! Off your high horse. :huh:

muadeeb

I can see where were trying to tie in the correlation here but there are some distinct differences here. “Generally” men have a higher metabolism so we can eat more, if you try to keep up with that then yes we did not help with you not gaining weight. But as it has been pointed out, we didn’t make you eat the food….Plus there is a natural relaxing of caring about our weight when we get a partner...

And if I may add (and trying to be as politically correct as possible) when in the bedroom (or where ever ) try being on top….just saying….the added exercise couldn’t hurt and I can attest that it is a work out, lol

raverhayley

one tip ive learned- never eat the same size portions as your man! i put alot of weight on that way!!!

bella24xo

i just moved in with my boyfriend and we are both really passionate about working out but we do like to eat different things. i think its just about being dedicated to what YOU need...if i ate like he did i would never lose weight and at first he didnt understand that so it took alil explaining and now we do our own thing and at dinner try to make something both of us can enjoy!

sandrajune72

I know where you're coing from OP! :laugh:

I make my fella feel bad now though by quoting how many calories are in the junk he's eating!! He has cut down, but refuses to join me in losing weight :grumble: I love him anyway he is though, and my weight loss is for ME, not him!

kathrynangelabaird

I won't blame my boyfriend but he doesn't help the matter at all.
I put on 3 stone since I've been happy with my partner and never been able to get it off.
I've tried most diets but I never get support and what he doesn't help with is he is bone idle.
He won't cook his own dinner, so if I don't cook for him he gets take away or he'll say "I'll have what your having" but if I want a certain thing for my dinner, he'll say he don't want it/like it and it really grates on me!!

At the end of the day I'm the only one to blame for getting happy and eating stupid portion sizes (and having chinese about 5 times a month!!) but he in the long run doesn't help things!

HC82

My husband works out of town some weeks and in town other weeks. I find that the days that he's in town, I really struggle to keep my calories low. It seems as though I eat a lot more when he's around. It's probably from making bigger meals for 2 and snacking together at night while watching movies or whatever. He also weighs 100 lbs more than me therefore eats a ton more so I suppose I just keep up more. And he loves chicken wings!!

I figure we're even though because he gained a lot of weight both times I was pregnant :P (seriously, we both put on 30lbs lol!)

Damiilla

I know exactly what you mean! After moving in with my boyfriend I packed on an extra 20 pounds! Of course wanting to be a good woman, I was cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for him and when I wasn't cooking we were ordering things, like pizza, subs, chinese and all that stuff thats not good for you! another thing was my boyfriend loves pop which i can go with out drinking but for some reason I would drink some with him, on top of eating late! Needless to say I am unhappy with the weight gain while he has gained nothing! I think its so much easier to pack on those pounds with your mate because of comfortability and not remaining aware of the things we are consuming. Like you, my everyday life is so busy that I would tend to forget to eat somedays or end up eating one meal for the entire day while drinking lots of water (although that still isn't healthy) but that was my lifestyle before love Any who, It's weird how your lifestyle can be influenced in a such a way by something so simple. but I think if u and your boyfriend start working out together and make better choices in the food your consuming together, you will be just fine!!

This is exactly what happened to me, even the 20 lbs! My boyfriend always comes home with chocolate and sweets. I just tell him if he wants me to stay super fit that he won't bring me anymore junk. That doesn't mean I dont treat myself every once in a while though.

MFPBrandy

Random note -- one of my co-workers was feeling unintentionally sabotaged by her very well-meaning husband. She got him to sign up to MFP with her and log food and exercise for a few days. He was absolutely stunned at the difference in their numbers, as far as how much more calories he burned doing the exact same activity (or heck, just standing still). Now he is so much more supportive because he GETS that portion control, etc., really matters. It just took seeing the huge disparity in black & white for it to sink in.

doutri2

I have to cook for my husband and 2 boys. I make my plate portions about the same size as I would for my two young children, instead of my husband.
So, when it comes to potatoes (small reds, for example), he gets 2 potatoes, I get one. Or maybe just a 1/2 and my son who likes potatoes gets the other half.

I find I lose the most weight if I don't eat much of a dinner at all.

nikkidish

It definitely is very tough to navigate eating habits when you live with someone. You are not alone in struggling with this.
It's good to recognize the problem, and then just try to be conscious about your food.
Just because your partner's having something doesn't mean you need to have something. You can definitely bond over sharing something, but maybe try to think of some alternatives. Could you make a cup of tea instead? Or maybe munch on something like kale chips? Maybe eat more slowly and in smaller portions? Having a plan with some choices will help, and if you can find some tasty recipes for healthy dishes, that's great too!
Good luck!!

dsjohndrow

I just take care of myself. My wife will cook stuff that is good for me, and she likes too. She enjoys carbs which are a killer for me - so I just pass them on at the dinner table. All the other meals I control, so I am good. You might want to cook and freeze your own meals for pizza night.

tanyaslosingit

OTOH, I'm making my husband skinny! No, I'm not making him diet or eat "my foods"; but a surprising thing happened: He become very supportive and then a couple of weeks ago, *he* decided he could lose a few pounds!

So, yes, spouses can make a difference either way. You just have to decide how your dynamic is going to work :-)

Bobby_Clerici

Many people balloon once they get comfortable in a relationship.
It happens.
Just buck up and decide to see this through.
ALL IS POSSIBLE!

happypath101

For sure! When I was dating my ex-husband, I complained that he was fattening me up for the kill. I was a size 5 when I met him, a size 12 when we married 2.5 years later and a size 22 a year after that!!!! I had a car accident that really impacted me during that time, but mostly, it was about the same things your noticing.

I'm in a new relationship now (well, it's 8 years later, :O) and charting new territory with talking to the bf about trying not to gain weight in the relationship. Sometimes it's my "fault" because I want to make a great meal. Sometimes it's his because he insists on taking me out or doesn't have any healthy food in the house. Here's some things I've done to stem the tide:

* Show your Significant Other your MFP profile, your goals, how you track your food and exercise, etc.
* Be kind but firm and insist on time to exercise
* Same with food - be kind but firm and insist of having healthy food in the house and then eat it. :O)
* Don't put any pressure on him to do anything differently, but show him that it's really important to you to do what you need to do.
* Arrange for date night/treat nights and really enjoy them.


Good luck. You can do this!

BlackStarlight

Relationships have an habit of taking you off the road. My last relationship was the same. But I enjoyed being with him when I was with him and we did things that made me put weight on. So I can't complain I don't think lol xx