MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME FAT!

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  • HC82
    HC82 Posts: 22
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    My husband works out of town some weeks and in town other weeks. I find that the days that he's in town, I really struggle to keep my calories low. It seems as though I eat a lot more when he's around. It's probably from making bigger meals for 2 and snacking together at night while watching movies or whatever. He also weighs 100 lbs more than me therefore eats a ton more so I suppose I just keep up more. And he loves chicken wings!!

    I figure we're even though because he gained a lot of weight both times I was pregnant :P (seriously, we both put on 30lbs lol!)
  • Damiilla
    Damiilla Posts: 66
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    I know exactly what you mean! After moving in with my boyfriend I packed on an extra 20 pounds! Of course wanting to be a good woman, I was cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for him and when I wasn't cooking we were ordering things, like pizza, subs, chinese and all that stuff thats not good for you! another thing was my boyfriend loves pop which i can go with out drinking but for some reason I would drink some with him, on top of eating late! Needless to say I am unhappy with the weight gain while he has gained nothing! I think its so much easier to pack on those pounds with your mate because of comfortability and not remaining aware of the things we are consuming. Like you, my everyday life is so busy that I would tend to forget to eat somedays or end up eating one meal for the entire day while drinking lots of water (although that still isn't healthy) but that was my lifestyle before love Any who, It's weird how your lifestyle can be influenced in a such a way by something so simple. but I think if u and your boyfriend start working out together and make better choices in the food your consuming together, you will be just fine!!
    This is exactly what happened to me, even the 20 lbs! My boyfriend always comes home with chocolate and sweets. I just tell him if he wants me to stay super fit that he won't bring me anymore junk. That doesn't mean I dont treat myself every once in a while though. :)
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    Random note -- one of my co-workers was feeling unintentionally sabotaged by her very well-meaning husband. She got him to sign up to MFP with her and log food and exercise for a few days. He was absolutely stunned at the difference in their numbers, as far as how much more calories he burned doing the exact same activity (or heck, just standing still). Now he is so much more supportive because he GETS that portion control, etc., really matters. It just took seeing the huge disparity in black & white for it to sink in.
  • doutri2
    doutri2 Posts: 186 Member
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    I have to cook for my husband and 2 boys. I make my plate portions about the same size as I would for my two young children, instead of my husband.
    So, when it comes to potatoes (small reds, for example), he gets 2 potatoes, I get one. Or maybe just a 1/2 and my son who likes potatoes gets the other half.

    I find I lose the most weight if I don't eat much of a dinner at all.
  • nikkidish
    nikkidish Posts: 3 Member
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    It definitely is very tough to navigate eating habits when you live with someone. You are not alone in struggling with this.
    It's good to recognize the problem, and then just try to be conscious about your food.
    Just because your partner's having something doesn't mean you need to have something. You can definitely bond over sharing something, but maybe try to think of some alternatives. Could you make a cup of tea instead? Or maybe munch on something like kale chips? Maybe eat more slowly and in smaller portions? Having a plan with some choices will help, and if you can find some tasty recipes for healthy dishes, that's great too!
    Good luck!!
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    I just take care of myself. My wife will cook stuff that is good for me, and she likes too. She enjoys carbs which are a killer for me - so I just pass them on at the dinner table. All the other meals I control, so I am good. You might want to cook and freeze your own meals for pizza night.
  • tanyaslosingit
    tanyaslosingit Posts: 178 Member
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    OTOH, I'm making my husband skinny! No, I'm not making him diet or eat "my foods"; but a surprising thing happened: He become very supportive and then a couple of weeks ago, *he* decided he could lose a few pounds!

    So, yes, spouses can make a difference either way. You just have to decide how your dynamic is going to work :-)
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Many people balloon once they get comfortable in a relationship.
    It happens.
    Just buck up and decide to see this through.
    ALL IS POSSIBLE!
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
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    For sure! When I was dating my ex-husband, I complained that he was fattening me up for the kill. I was a size 5 when I met him, a size 12 when we married 2.5 years later and a size 22 a year after that!!!! I had a car accident that really impacted me during that time, but mostly, it was about the same things your noticing.

    I'm in a new relationship now (well, it's 8 years later, :O) and charting new territory with talking to the bf about trying not to gain weight in the relationship. Sometimes it's my "fault" because I want to make a great meal. Sometimes it's his because he insists on taking me out or doesn't have any healthy food in the house. Here's some things I've done to stem the tide:

    * Show your Significant Other your MFP profile, your goals, how you track your food and exercise, etc.
    * Be kind but firm and insist on time to exercise
    * Same with food - be kind but firm and insist of having healthy food in the house and then eat it. :O)
    * Don't put any pressure on him to do anything differently, but show him that it's really important to you to do what you need to do.
    * Arrange for date night/treat nights and really enjoy them.


    Good luck. You can do this!
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    Relationships have an habit of taking you off the road. My last relationship was the same. But I enjoyed being with him when I was with him and we did things that made me put weight on. So I can't complain I don't think lol xx
  • heyitsadam
    heyitsadam Posts: 70 Member
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    Okay, so he's not all to blame. However, since we moved in together-about a year and a half ago, I've gained a solid 40 lbs. I was a healthy size of 120-130lbs before, and I bloomed!
    I'll admit I was taking zoloft, which has been said to increase weight gain like nobody's business. I stopped taking that (with dr help) 6 months ago. I am having a tough time shedding the weight in a timely fashion until recently...

    I've noticed something funny. My loving guy loves to eat junk food. I don't really like it, but sometimes I'll have a bite. He doesn't enjoy cooking, but he loves to eat anything I make. On the other hand, I love food. I'm really passionate about cooking and baking for others... but when it's just me, I turn into a minimalist. My guy has been gone for 4 days and I've noticed that I've been having a heck of a time getting my min calories! I just forget to eat! I get so busy and I'm not thinking about anyone else needing to be fed. It's crazy. I do believe this must be why I was skinny before, simply because when no one is around, my hungry pangs are completely muted. So, as a joke I called him and said that he made me fat.

    He thinks that's hilarious. what a booger. ;)

    Does anyone else notice the difference when their significant other is around vs not?

    Ha ha... is this a support group for people in relationships?

    It's really easy to plan a night with you S.O. and just get caught up on the DVR'ed shows with a bag of chips and salsa. Heck, that's the nice part about HAVING a S.O.

    You're not alone. It happens. My wife and I get comfy and we gain and lose weight. What usually SNAPS us back into coherence is the fact that we take an annual cruise and looking back at the cruise photos, we notice in some we look GREAT in others ... well.... sloppy.
  • SpitfireStacey
    SpitfireStacey Posts: 158 Member
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    We have different size plates, regular large dinner plates, around 12inch across, and then we have medium size plates, around 8 inch across. I feed him from the big plate, and me from the medium plate, and the baby gets the smaller 6inch plate. My older child gets the same size plate as I do.

    This has helped us keep portions in check and I have lost weight while my husband hasn't (and he has a few pounds he could stand to lose) so we've started having him use the same size plate as me. We RARELY use the "normal" size dinner plate anymore.

    Whenever he deployed in the past, I would lose the weight I had gained since meeting him each time, and then slowly gain it back when he got home. I am not doing that this time and since he hadn't deployed in a few years, I got even bigger than before so I had a harder time losing the weight anyway. It definitely is easier to lose weight when you're not thinking about feeding other people (I have husband and kids to worry about) but you have to find a way to balance your hunger with their hunger even if it means making 3 different meals or cooking at different times. It can be done! Good luck!
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Definitely. Relationships always complicate eating patterns. There are times when my wife and I are strong for each other - one of us suggests some junk and the other one says "how about we go get a salad instead", but equally there are times where we sabotage each other - one of us might be on the verge of making the bad decision and the other one just comes straight out and suggests it, then we both cave. It's a whole other added dynamic to healthy eating.
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    YES! My husband LOVES fried, fat loaded food... Junk food... It is SO hard! If it was just me, I'd never bring it into the house or go out and get it, but with him here, asking me to bake (which is my favorite thing to do), it can be really, really difficult. I want him to be happy and I love baking and feeding others, so it's hard to resist. Just gotta keep trying! He's been better lately and has been buying junk food that I don't care for, which helps. I've also started eating dinner from a salad plate to reduce my portion sizes and have asked him not to request baked goods as frequently. I guess it will be a life long battle! But, he's worth it :)
  • PJ_73
    PJ_73 Posts: 331 Member
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    100%

    I was much the same as you a year ago, 125lbs and healthy and happy and then moved in with the man - I am now 175lbs and unhealthy! So, i am with you, they make you fat!

    Seriously, I was also taking medication for anxiety and stopped training at the gym but living with him has certainly played a huge part in my weight gain. He's tall and has a good physique and unlike me can eat all the crap he wants all day long and as long as he football trains twice a week and a game at the weekend, he won't put a lb on!

    How is that fair?!!

    Now means that I am either preparing two meals a night or that he makes his own because I just can't carry on eating the way that I was and thinking my waist can take it and he refuses to eat clean.

    These past two weeks he's been working away and my eating has been more controlled and my exercise has increased - so I am definitely more disciplined when he is not around.

    Despite the good work, I do miss him! ;-)
  • santini1975
    santini1975 Posts: 175 Member
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    Truth! When my man's not around I'm not going to bother opening a package of meat just to cook for myself! When he's gone I just eat lean cuisines. When he's home it's meat 'n potatoes, crock pot meals and other "man food".
  • jyuubi
    jyuubi Posts: 109
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    I had that effect on my boyfriend when he moved in with me, actually. He gained weight, because me and my family were already quite unhealthy eaters. But now we're working together to lose the weight. :D
  • 13inchestogo
    13inchestogo Posts: 296 Member
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    Oh people I could totally blame my boyfriend for making me fat, since I gained since we met, but of course it's me !!! :)

    It is easy to let loose when out with them and when your feeling that complacent feeling of being in a comfortable relationship, but take the reins on your life and your fitness a little more that's all you gotta do ! I did and I'm slowly re gaining my pre boyfriend weight.
  • vampy25
    vampy25 Posts: 30
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    yeah Its very true ppl put on weight him or her, wen living together its just got comfortable and there nt bothered botu wat they eat. my bf atm is helping me cus he wants to lose weight too... but Ive always sed if he wants to eat crap then eat it at work hahaha wen im not there, or wen im out, but he sed he wudnt do that cus it not be fair on me etc.. but it is hard, wen ure living together and the other one dnt want to try cut down or eat more healthier and they want to eat junk but u cant and dont want to.
  • ctooch99
    ctooch99 Posts: 459 Member
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    Get Divorced!!! :o)

    I split with my wife in October of 2011 and I have dropped almost 35 pounds since! In the best shape of my life!

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