MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME FAT!

heyitsadam

Okay, so he's not all to blame. However, since we moved in together-about a year and a half ago, I've gained a solid 40 lbs. I was a healthy size of 120-130lbs before, and I bloomed!
I'll admit I was taking zoloft, which has been said to increase weight gain like nobody's business. I stopped taking that (with dr help) 6 months ago. I am having a tough time shedding the weight in a timely fashion until recently...

I've noticed something funny. My loving guy loves to eat junk food. I don't really like it, but sometimes I'll have a bite. He doesn't enjoy cooking, but he loves to eat anything I make. On the other hand, I love food. I'm really passionate about cooking and baking for others... but when it's just me, I turn into a minimalist. My guy has been gone for 4 days and I've noticed that I've been having a heck of a time getting my min calories! I just forget to eat! I get so busy and I'm not thinking about anyone else needing to be fed. It's crazy. I do believe this must be why I was skinny before, simply because when no one is around, my hungry pangs are completely muted. So, as a joke I called him and said that he made me fat.

He thinks that's hilarious. what a booger.

Does anyone else notice the difference when their significant other is around vs not?

Ha ha... is this a support group for people in relationships?

It's really easy to plan a night with you S.O. and just get caught up on the DVR'ed shows with a bag of chips and salsa. Heck, that's the nice part about HAVING a S.O.

You're not alone. It happens. My wife and I get comfy and we gain and lose weight. What usually SNAPS us back into coherence is the fact that we take an annual cruise and looking back at the cruise photos, we notice in some we look GREAT in others ... well.... sloppy.

SpitfireStacey

We have different size plates, regular large dinner plates, around 12inch across, and then we have medium size plates, around 8 inch across. I feed him from the big plate, and me from the medium plate, and the baby gets the smaller 6inch plate. My older child gets the same size plate as I do.

This has helped us keep portions in check and I have lost weight while my husband hasn't (and he has a few pounds he could stand to lose) so we've started having him use the same size plate as me. We RARELY use the "normal" size dinner plate anymore.

Whenever he deployed in the past, I would lose the weight I had gained since meeting him each time, and then slowly gain it back when he got home. I am not doing that this time and since he hadn't deployed in a few years, I got even bigger than before so I had a harder time losing the weight anyway. It definitely is easier to lose weight when you're not thinking about feeding other people (I have husband and kids to worry about) but you have to find a way to balance your hunger with their hunger even if it means making 3 different meals or cooking at different times. It can be done! Good luck!

Captain_Tightpants

Definitely. Relationships always complicate eating patterns. There are times when my wife and I are strong for each other - one of us suggests some junk and the other one says "how about we go get a salad instead", but equally there are times where we sabotage each other - one of us might be on the verge of making the bad decision and the other one just comes straight out and suggests it, then we both cave. It's a whole other added dynamic to healthy eating.

Amber82479

YES! My husband LOVES fried, fat loaded food... Junk food... It is SO hard! If it was just me, I'd never bring it into the house or go out and get it, but with him here, asking me to bake (which is my favorite thing to do), it can be really, really difficult. I want him to be happy and I love baking and feeding others, so it's hard to resist. Just gotta keep trying! He's been better lately and has been buying junk food that I don't care for, which helps. I've also started eating dinner from a salad plate to reduce my portion sizes and have asked him not to request baked goods as frequently. I guess it will be a life long battle! But, he's worth it

PJ_73

100%

I was much the same as you a year ago, 125lbs and healthy and happy and then moved in with the man - I am now 175lbs and unhealthy! So, i am with you, they make you fat!

Seriously, I was also taking medication for anxiety and stopped training at the gym but living with him has certainly played a huge part in my weight gain. He's tall and has a good physique and unlike me can eat all the crap he wants all day long and as long as he football trains twice a week and a game at the weekend, he won't put a lb on!

How is that fair?!!

Now means that I am either preparing two meals a night or that he makes his own because I just can't carry on eating the way that I was and thinking my waist can take it and he refuses to eat clean.

These past two weeks he's been working away and my eating has been more controlled and my exercise has increased - so I am definitely more disciplined when he is not around.

Despite the good work, I do miss him! ;-)

santini1975

Truth! When my man's not around I'm not going to bother opening a package of meat just to cook for myself! When he's gone I just eat lean cuisines. When he's home it's meat 'n potatoes, crock pot meals and other "man food".

jyuubi

I had that effect on my boyfriend when he moved in with me, actually. He gained weight, because me and my family were already quite unhealthy eaters. But now we're working together to lose the weight.

13inchestogo

Oh people I could totally blame my boyfriend for making me fat, since I gained since we met, but of course it's me !!!

It is easy to let loose when out with them and when your feeling that complacent feeling of being in a comfortable relationship, but take the reins on your life and your fitness a little more that's all you gotta do ! I did and I'm slowly re gaining my pre boyfriend weight.

vampy25

yeah Its very true ppl put on weight him or her, wen living together its just got comfortable and there nt bothered botu wat they eat. my bf atm is helping me cus he wants to lose weight too... but Ive always sed if he wants to eat crap then eat it at work hahaha wen im not there, or wen im out, but he sed he wudnt do that cus it not be fair on me etc.. but it is hard, wen ure living together and the other one dnt want to try cut down or eat more healthier and they want to eat junk but u cant and dont want to.

ctooch99

Get Divorced!!! )

I split with my wife in October of 2011 and I have dropped almost 35 pounds since! In the best shape of my life!

JoolieW68

Well think about it....what do people do when they get together? Go to dinner, go to lunch, have coffee, make time for each other and stop making time for exercise. Relationships, at least in the US focus around FOOD. Celebrations focus around FOOD. Holidays focus around FOOD.

Until people stop seeing food as some sort of reward or reason to spend time together, weight will be an issue.

HUNGRYHIPPO68

lol i like how you all blame your boyfriends. Did they force feed you crap? NO. Its just down to you all not being able to say no to junk and sitting around on your lazy arses all day not working out! :laugh:

Hmmm yes and no lol my now hubby did not force me to eat crap I ate crap purely of my own doing as for lazy arses I was always active till my bike accident then I really started pileing on the weight
But I am getting more active again its hard but I will get there
We are what we eat simples really I am a Jam Rolly Poll with nuts in middle lol or should I was as now I wont have crap in house the only thing that will be allowed when hubby gets home on leave is his full fat coke which is still in fridge from when he left....

ctooch99

One hard and fast deal breaker rule I have now if I meet someone new is that they MUST be fit, active and eat really, really healthy and have a healthy lifestyle - not compromising on that the 2nd time around - it's way to important to me now.

Would rather spend my time with someone hiking a beautiful trail, kayaking somewhere or exploring museums in the city than waiting in line to stuff our faces at the nearest Cheesecake Factory... food is just fuel to me now - no different than stopping the car to get gas on the way to the Grand Canyon...

MzBug

I would have to say that it is my own fault that I gained weight when we moved in together. I got out of the habit of eatting vegies, fruit and whole grain products. He won't eat any fruit, will only eat corn ON the cob and potatoes as far as vegies go, and his main food group is carbs featuring white bagels, kaiser rolls, hogie rolls, white rice and pasta. He only drinks ultra sweet tea (8-12 glasses per day), coffee (2 cups per day) with 4t sugar and Irish Cream flavored creamer, and orange gatoraid (24oz per day)....never just water. He might weigh 175. I got out of the habit of buying or cooking fresh vegies because I was gearing the meals towards him. He constantly snacks....pretzels, cookies, candy and sunflower seeds. He still won't eat fruits and vegies, but has accepted the whole grain instead of the white stuff. He has no interest in changing any of his eatting habits.

I just got lazy about proper nutrition and ate the same as what was prepared for him. I gained 50 pounds and started having bad heartburn and acid reflux. Once I realized what was going on I got back into the fruits, vegies and whole grain. Once I lost 20 pounds and cleaned up my diet the heartburn and acid reflux went away. I felt even better when I started cutting back on the grain products and eatting more protein.

Sabine_Stroehm

I just take care of myself. My wife will cook stuff that is good for me, and she likes too. She enjoys carbs which are a killer for me - so I just pass them on at the dinner table. All the other meals I control, so I am good. You might want to cook and freeze your own meals for pizza night.

This. I worry about myself. Hubby is a great cook. I try to eat "right" for me within that. It's not always easy!

back2danni

I know exactly what you mean! After moving in with my boyfriend I packed on an extra 20 pounds! Of course wanting to be a good woman, I was cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for him and when I wasn't cooking we were ordering things, like pizza, subs, chinese and all that stuff thats not good for you! another thing was my boyfriend loves pop which i can go with out drinking but for some reason I would drink some with him, on top of eating late! Needless to say I am unhappy with the weight gain while he has gained nothing! I think its so much easier to pack on those pounds with your mate because of comfortability and not remaining aware of the things we are consuming. Like you, my everyday life is so busy that I would tend to forget to eat somedays or end up eating one meal for the entire day while drinking lots of water (although that still isn't healthy) but that was my lifestyle before love Any who, It's weird how your lifestyle can be influenced in a such a way by something so simple. but I think if u and your boyfriend start working out together and make better choices in the food your consuming together, you will be just fine!!

This is exactly what happened to me, even the 20 lbs! My boyfriend always comes home with chocolate and sweets. I just tell him if he wants me to stay super fit that he won't bring me anymore junk. That doesn't mean I dont treat myself every once in a while though.

Yup I had to tell my boyfriend too like babe ur on ur own I can't gain another pound and fortunately he understands and is all for me getting fit as well, neither of us had actually stopped to realize the weight I had gained but once we did we both said its time to get back on the good foot! especially since we'll be planning our wedding soon

MSepp

OH...FOR SURE.

This happens to me all the time-especially when it comes to drinking. He'll make up something for me...or he'll say he wants desserts...

On the other hand-I'm more prone to making desserts when he's around because I want to give him things he enjoys. He's got a football player build. Big, tall and muscular.

I on the other hand put on a lot of weight when I first moved out here. It's come down a little but it's sure frustrating.

HauteP1nk

My fiance is the worst influence ever. He can eat as much junk food as he wants and not gain a pound. The last 10 years of our relationship has been a test of my willpower...up until 6months ago he was winning...but now I have a good handle on saying no.

SithChicky

I was on Zoloft too, it has having nasty effects on me, and I read about the weight gain issue and decided to stop it. That was it for me with that med, with any anti-depressant really. Medication is the reason I gained weight to begin with, I went from 140 to 204 in just a couple of months about 4 years ago. I went from 204-174 of hard work and diet, and the day I weighed in for 174, I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter. I think too, that my now husband attributes to my weight, he's always wanting to go out to eat, or order food from this place or that, and of course I agree because it sounds good! I have no support, and that's been my downfall. I've been off Zoloft now for 4-5 months, and on my hypothyroid medication for 7 months, I've lost 3 lbs so far since the medication change and all that. Yuck..

beebee0925

Bump

ZiezieO

I'd like to rephrase that the "MY BF MAKES ME FAT" was more of an attention getter to the entire subject of how relationships bind people together and break themselves of a lot of habits (GOOD AND BAD)
My guy has gained about 20 lbs, but he wasn't on meds. I LOVE cooking for other people. I don't really like cooking for just myself. I'm like a Mama Bear in that way


I love the plate size recommendation. Our plates are pretty hefty and I think when my S.O. gets a hold of serving my plate, he tends to over do it without knowing. He has NO CLUE what portion sizes are. However, he looks like a starving pup when I give him an appropriate sized meal on our plates. (the white space illusion). So, THANKS EVERYONE FOR GREAT ADVICE.
NOOOO I don't blame him, I just thought it was kinda funny how a lot of us change to mold with our love bugs. Haha, he blames me too for his love handles. I'm going to try and see if he will join MFP!

SaraBelle0312

I forget to eat. I love to cook for us, but when he is gone (Navy Sailor) I just wanna eat stuff that requires no cooking at all or just not eat. He is also my workout buddy so I don't workout when he is gone.

So in essence, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU

kaylarachellee

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. I was 142 when I started dating him... got up to 162... and now back down to 152.... 10 more pounds to go baby!


Just eating together made me gain... He is ALWAYS hungry.

bhelmreich

I totally agree! My boyfriend must eat 3500 calories to maintain his weight. He's 6'6 and very active. My diet is supposed to be 1600. While we mostly eat healthy, he eats frequently and pretty big quantities. I think my mind sees him eating so much and thinks that I can eat that much.
I am kind of excited to see if I lose weight when I move 2 hours away from him. Like you, I noticed I eat way less when I am not around him. I've been trying to diet for 6 months and will do well for a few weeks and lose 10 lbs and then we go on vacation and I eat poorly and take a week or so to gain back motivation. I am very scared of when we move in together.

jennnnn2u

OMG, my boyfriend and I are terrible for each other! We both LOVE to eat and eating out is even better! When I decided to lose weight I had to get him on board. Luckily, he is diabetic so the benefits will help him even more than me and he was glad to diet as well.

That being said...he still isn't very well and I often have to just stifle the temptation to eat what he is eating.

secretlobster

I love cooking too, and healthy food is actually more interesting/fun to make. I LOVE to make a big pot of healthy soup with lots of vegetables and protein. I am usually cooking for myself because we don't eat at the same time. Also, it's summer, start grilling! Eating out too often is the biggest offense for couples, IMHO!

starringmelissa

My boyfriend has the biggest sweet tooth ever. Maybe I should just call it sweet teeth because if that man could just eat sugary stuff for breakfast lunch and dinner, he would ( and he could too because his job is very physical ). Its extremely difficult to have the sugary food around all the time so i tried to hide it from myself by making a "Candy Shoe Box". What seemed like a good idea has turned into a disaster because now all the sugary stuff is in one easy to locate spot.

While I do not hold my boyfriend responsible for my weight in any way, i think the best course of action at least in my case will be to ask him to not have the candy box out and around. In fact, put that thing on a shelf out of my 5 foot 7 reach zone.

The other issue is he LOVES hot pockets, burritos, chicken nuggets, chips.....anything my calorie counter would crack over. I've evaded his hot pockets by deaming them "Butt Pockets" (because they just smell off...I can't put my finger on what it is but whatever it is makes my microwave smell ick-tastic).

I'm not sure how to handle the frozen excitement in my freezer yet. I'm thinking maybe reorganizing his stuff behind my healthy stuff? I don't want to make food consumption inconvenient for him, but maybe it would deter him from eating crap as well.

almostatgoalweight

I do blame my ex for a gain of about 15kg of the 28kg that I've gained (and lost 21) in the last 12 years. The reason was that she ate junk food (chocolates, chips, sweets etc) e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e.d.a.y. She would offer me these foods. Initially it was nice living in a candy store. Sweets and stuff that I normally wouldn't eat. Then of course the weight gain. It took me a while to train myself to say no every time she offered. Sadly it was the reason why we broke up, I decided that I didn't want to see her die an early death, I'd been through that with someone else that I dated and it had an enduring effect on my mood.

RealWomenLovePitbulls

i tend to forget to eat when my husband is not around, and also eat less, he likes to have a full meal, with a variety of sides, but i'm fine with just eating something small when i am alone

Lkoblara

I don't actually eat any differently whether my husband is around or not. That being said, I did gain about 40 lbs gradually when we first started dating. That was 13 years ago though... I think when people are happy and not paying attention that the pounds do sneak in.