Too embarrassed to wear a Swimsuit...

Thena81

The idea of wearing a bikini or swimsuit is enough to give me nightmares.

It's something I REALLY wanna do eventually though, but for now, I avoid it like the plague.

perfectly said!!!

Thena81

Dear, I felt the same way at on time. I'm not sure of your size but I can bet you I'm double maybe triple your size but I can bet you that I'm wearing my switsuit. I learned to love ME and I don't care what another person opinion is about me. When I'm on a cruise with all those size 0's there, you would think I was a size 0 in the way I flaunt around. I got cottage cheese thighs but I'm don't care, We only live once, I will not miss any opportunities that comes my way. Go get you a suit suit and as someone already suggested put some short or swim skirt over it. You will be fine.

looove this!!

wgn4166

i wont wear a swim suit or shorts. Last year I would walk/run 5 miles a day during the summer. When it got cold, I got lazy. Gained 20 lbs. I had muscular legs, and tho my legs were never my best feature, i was proud of them and all my hard work. Now I just have cellulite legs. I hate them. I hope that they will look better now that I am exercising again,tho Im not up to 5 miles a day.

ExplorinLauren

Join the club
I haven't been to the beach or pool or lake in so many years, I can't even remember... its been at least 17... bc that's how old my oldest son is...
I just can't do it. I've attempted it before... and I always wear a sundress over my suit...and never go in the water. I turn down countless invites to pool parties, beach with friends etc... and it sucks. I don't feel like I've "lived" in forever. Not to mention I feel like it ruins my kids lives... My daughter always asks why we never go to the beach, and I'm too embarrassed to even say "I'm too fat to go" .. plus I'm scared I'll make her self conscience in life by saying that to her (not that she is fat at ALL, but her seeing me hate my body might make her hate hers too)
That is why I am here. I want to do the things other people do too. Hopefully I will get there... but sometimes I even wonder if I will feel comfortable even thinner.... I guess we will see.
What your dad did to you was HORRIBLE!
But I agree with previous posters, your friends invite you because they care about you being there, not what you look like...
Good Luck!!!

anhepler

i totally feel you on this one, once i was trying on a bikini to decide if i wanted to keep it or not, then when my family asked why i didnt want to keep it i said because i was over weight, and my step dad told me if i wasn't so lazy that i wouldnt be over weight. I was so mad at him for it and i started to cry. this was over 2 years ago, but recently when i told my mom and step dad (whom i dont live with) that i wanted to diet and they both laughed at me and told me i couldnt. Well it's summer and i am DETERMINED to get into a bikini this year and be happy with my body, which is why i'm here. And i wanted to tell you that no matter what other people say you do what YOU feel is right

ExplorinLauren

Dear, I felt the same way at on time. I'm not sure of your size but I can bet you I'm double maybe triple your size but I can bet you that I'm wearing my switsuit. I learned to love ME and I don't care what another person opinion is about me. When I'm on a cruise with all those size 0's there, you would think I was a size 0 in the way I flaunt around. I got cottage cheese thighs but I'm don't care, We only live once, I will not miss any opportunities that comes my way. Go get you a suit suit and as someone already suggested put some short or swim skirt over it. You will be fine.

I love this too I wish I had that mentality!!!

wgn4166

I feel ya. I've never owned a bathing suit in my life. I wish I could not care, and just "have fun" and not worry about what people think. But, I can't. You could always buy a one piece, and get some cute swim shorts (like the hawaiian print) and put them over it, that way you still can sort of look like you're ready to swim!

I cant wear the suits with skirts cause they still show my legs. I think I am going to invent a swim suit that has leggings

kaymarie78

I'm 285 and rock my swimsuit! I wear a tankini and for some reason, that's one thing I've never felt all that self conscious in. Weird right? If other people don't like it then they can just shove off. I won't let other people ruin my fun. And I bet your friends won't even think twice about what you look like in a swimsuit. But if a tank top and shorts is what you're most comfortable in then so be it...or whatever it is you want to wear! Try not to let the thought of being embarrassed put a damper on your good time!

par57

I understand. I won't even wear shorts. I will wear a t-shirt swimming and just tell everyone that I am very sensitive to the sun.

wgn4166

This is sad, but the only time my husband see me in shorts is when Im getting ready to work out

beastm34

oh and also!!! i know this girl (not too well though) and she is a rather large girl. she wears a bikini and runs around without a care in the world!! hahaha at first you look at her and go "yikes why is she wearing that!" but then you see how she wears it (attitude-wise) and it works and you can't help but smile and give her props! I still recommend the bathing suits on modcloth but encourage you to pretend like your confident even if your not because it comes across a lot different. it's easy to spot self consciousness

stuckinwonderlandsendhelp

I know the feeling of not wanting anyone to see you. I never liked going to the beach and wearing a swim suit. Only recently did I finally wear a swim suit and at first it wasn't bad but after a while you don't really mind it anymore. It feels sort of empowering almost, but I think I'll feel better when I lose the weight.

juliesummers

I'm "fit" and by no means overweight, and I don't feel comfortable out in public in a bikini so I just wear my jean shorts and a tank top over it. No one cares.

prism3

Target has some good one piece swimsuits. I FELT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, and I'm 200 + lbs!


http://www.target.com/c/one-piece-swimsuits-swimwear-clothing/-/N-5xtbu

Another good thing I did so I'm not as self conscious is get some healthy sun tan (it's summertime so hopefully there is alot of sun where you are.) If you're fair-skinned, even just 10-15 minutes of sun exposure has your cells producing 10,000 IUs of vitamin D. I don't exactly know what it means but the health nuts say it's good for you.

Being tanner and wearing the one-piece suit made me way less self conscious then wearing a bikini. Some even have cute skirts to pull down. Besides if you're so worried about what other people think it will be a road block to your progress to losing weight. So keep going!

Tina

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Krissi921

I don't like wearing a suit either - but with 3 kids, sometimes I just have to not give a crap what other people think and get in the water so I can enjoy being with my kids.
Three great sites with cute, more covered up suits are:

http://www.limericki.com/
http://www.shabbyapple.com
http://downeastbasics.com

Almost everyone I know wears either shorts or a skirt these days so I don't ever feel out of place. It's still hard I know, but at least you know you are here working on it to make it easier. Be proud of yourself!!

Mandersatms

I know how you feel! I have always been on the heavier side. My dad would always make comments about how many calories were on my plate and remind me of my weight problem when we were at bbqs and other social gatherings. It mortified me. I grew up on a lake though and I always loved to swim. I know exactly what you mean with feeling self conscience, I am currently overweight, though I am working hard to lose the extra pounds. What I did was find a beautiful Marilyn Monroe like suit. It is very flattering. I believe she was a size 16 and she was gorgeous! As some people have already said, people are going to be doing their own thing and worrying about themselves. They most likely wont notice whatever you think your flaws might be.

RainaWalks

i would wear my shorts and top and tell them that i don't wear bathing suits...when i went on vacation to the Dominican Republic i wore a bathing suit with a full cover and went into the ocean with the cover on....i never took the cover off...

since i was a little girl i was self conscious about showing my body.....so i cover up...

i sometimes wish i could get those full body swimsuits that athletes wear but i'm so tall they probably won't make them long enough for me...and at my current weight they probably would not come in my size...

i'm learning that the healthy thing is to not do anything you don't want to do...if you want to be with them...maybe dress how you are comfortable and go...they will forget all about it once you are in the water...if not...then you are probably doing the right thing declining...

Best wishes...:flowerforyou:

fishermanmatt

So my friends have been asking me to go swimming to the lake with them.. and i keep saying no, because I dont feel comfortable being there in a swimsuit, with my (35 pound overweight) skin showing.

I know i could wear a shirt and shorts but all my friends are thin.. so it would be weird around them, wearing that... and they are not my super close friends.. so i cant really tell them about it... so instead i just dont go...

Does anyone else feel this way?
What can i do?

My $0.02 and probably not entirely on topic.

If you don't want to wear a swimsuit, use the shirt and shorts option you mentioned or one of the other options others have mentioned. Being uncomfortable is a short term thing to deal with. The regret you'll feel having missed out on because you were too self conscious to participate will last forever.

sagj

I have struggled with this my entire life. So listen to me. Go and have fun. You are not what you look like in a bathing suit. Your weight does not define who you are or what you will become. I can remember a million times where my insecurities kept me from enjoying myself. I decided when I was 25 that what everyone else thought really didn't matter. I found the strength to flip everyone else off and waddle my fat rear onto the beach in a two piece bathing suit. I never looked back. You will be a million times happier if you accept yourself. You can wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt or an adorable one piece bathing suit to the lake. Go buy you a new suit. I'm a mom of two and a self proclaimed fashionista so I don't wear anything other than adorable one piece suits with a low cleavage line

Go live life!! And if anyone gives you grief, well, flip 'em off.

^^This

Life is too short. Nothing about the way you look should have the power to hold you back from what you want to do.

raylenebrooks

I know I am chiming in late but I went on my first 2 cruises and put a suit on then never left my room on my 3rd I decided to wear a swim dress as it was the most appropriate for my fat self to be more covered and spent all day at the beach. Really I decided it was not like people (I was with about 20 family members) thought I was skinny no matter what I wore. Your friends know what size you are with or without clothing on. Go have fun

kayemme

wear it anyway. we should all do things we're uncomfortable with sometimes so that we can get over our hangups. 35lbs isn't that big, after all.. so own it.

if you can't go that far, then wear shorts & a shirt, but for heaven's sake, girl, go swimmin!

lorijh72

I have struggled with this my entire life. So listen to me. Go and have fun. You are not what you look like in a bathing suit. Your weight does not define who you are or what you will become. I can remember a million times where my insecurities kept me from enjoying myself. I decided when I was 25 that what everyone else thought really didn't matter. I found the strength to flip everyone else off and waddle my fat rear onto the beach in a two piece bathing suit. I never looked back. You will be a million times happier if you accept yourself. You can wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt or an adorable one piece bathing suit to the lake. Go buy you a new suit. I'm a mom of two and a self proclaimed fashionista so I don't wear anything other than adorable one piece suits with a low cleavage line

Go live life!! And if anyone gives you grief, well, flip 'em off.

Totally and complety agree, flip them off and tell them to stick it up there azzez!!!! Your a very beautiful girl, head held high Doll and shake it :-)

slkehl

I've always been self conscious in a swimsuit! I just wear a tankini orbikini with a tank top and board shorts (not the ones that go to the knees, but the ones that are like regular shorts length). Girls who are a little overweight have great curves and could definitely rock a swimsuit! It's just about choosing the right one.

MrsFolk

I understand where you're coming from but don't hold yourself back. You're worth more than that! Let yourself have fun and enjoy life during your weight loss journey

andforpoise

It's sad that a lot of people feel this way... I'm in the same boat, even after losing nearly 50 lbs... still not comfortable... I keep telling myself that it's more of a modesty thing :P then I don't feel so bad... but I don't think that really helps either

bikinisuited

bump

Nimbette2

This is many years later, but still rings true for me. I envy the ladies that wear a swimsuit - thongs even - when overweight. I have a group of acquaintances that love to go to the hotel pools and beaches a lot and I am the only one not comfortable in a swimsuit. I do the board shorts and tank and they always ridicule me over it. It is gotten to the point that I just go do that alone now. It is easier and makes me feel so much better emotionally. I have a Hangup about it and I am tired of having to explain it each time I go with them. Some people do care and make fun and comments .. so you have to be careful when you decide to go .. be ready in case you are questioned. I am over it and will stop going to those events for a while. I also bought a house with a pool so I can swim on my own terms.

southkonahi

Nimbette2 wrote: »

I do the board shorts and tank and they always ridicule me over it.

Well then those friends suck and I'd drop them as friends. Ridiculing is outside of what a friend should be.
But back to your choice of swimwear, you just might be thankful in years to come that you are more covered now while in the sun. Skin cancer is no fun later on. There are fashionable sun protection styles, that also are a good alternative to bikinis for those who want less of their body exposed.

GamaHealth

I’m sorry that happened to you. It happens to me all the time with my family too. How do they expect us to go out and exercise when they make us feel ashamed of being out in public? I suggest you go to a nice plus size store like Torrid, my favorite go to store for bathing suits, and look for something high waisted or a full coverage bathing suit. There are covers you can wear over them too. The bathing suits have made me feel beautiful in the past. I’m sure you will find something that can make you feel beautiful too. Also try changing your attitude. Make a statement in front of everyone like “damnn I look good” if someone makes fun of you, tell them “I’ll eat you alive, don’t play with me.” Or pull them aside and tell them “that’s not okay,” if they listen, you’ve gained a true friend, if not, all you can do is stay away from them. But don’t be afraid to make friends and ask for support on your journey. Everyone is made differently and being obese doesn’t mean we have a lack of control. Our genes, environment, personality all have a part in our eating habits. But we have a lot more control than we think and a social group will only encourage us to keep going. Do not get discouraged to make friends. I’m sure they invited you because you’re super cool in the inside. (You are you and I am me. I wasn’t made for you, and you weren’t made for me. I accept you for who you are and I hope you accept me for who I am.)