Things you should probably never tell a co-worker

oregonzoo
oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
in Chit-Chat
"I wish it was saturday I got so high"
«1

Replies

  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    True story here: An underage intern sent out a note to the entire department, including executives: I am going to homecoming tonight and I am going to be too wasted to stock my kitchen area tomorrow. Can you guys help me out and make sure it is stocked?

    Sure thing, the kitchen was so stocked, you couldn't get in the door anymore. Also, after she cleaned that up, I never saw her again....
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    "there's this website called myfitnesspal"
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    "I will stab you"...I said this two weeks into the job...a saying my son picked up from some show.

    I later found out that she, indeed had been stabbed, by her ex hubby who used to batter her. Yeah, FML!
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
    "I f@$%ing loathe you and I tell everyone on MFP what a c^nt you are to work with."

    :drinker:
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Do not tell them your disgusting sexual habits...either they believe you and think you're a freak ( except for the gal in shipping who wants to join in ), or they don't believe and just think you have a ****ed up sense of humor...
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Can you please STFU before I shove something in your mouth?
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Doesn't everyone keep a flask in their drawer?
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    Your ____ is Broke? I got yer fix right here!
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    "You're only alive because I don't want to serve jailtime...go ahead, thank me...."
  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
    No wonder men keep using you.
  • BadCookieMonster
    BadCookieMonster Posts: 74
    How do you like your mid-year raise?
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
    "You're only alive because I don't want to serve jailtime...go ahead, thank me...."

    YES!!! We must work with the same *kitten*...or at least long distance relatives!
  • TadaGanIarracht
    TadaGanIarracht Posts: 2,615 Member
    Has anyone told you lately that you smell like rancid *kitten*, no? I'm surprised because guess what? You smell like rancid *kitten*.
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
    "there's this website called myfitnesspal"

    IKR? (in some cases)

    Actually, it was a co-worker who told me about this website and I have told a couple others.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Say CHEESE!
    430627_350198035021007_897049214_n.jpg
  • casperuk
    casperuk Posts: 195 Member
    "do you know what I like to do sometimes when I am lonely and I am here alone late at night?"

    Especially if you work in a morgue.

    They hate that and tend to TOTALLY overreact!
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    "Quit walking around constantly looking at your phone to make others think you must be so important."
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    Her: Omg you're so pretty. I'm just ugly and fat.
    Me: You're not THAT ugly.

    She looked at me like I had just murdered her family.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    "I have a foot fetish. Would you mind wearing more open-toed shoes?"
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Her: Omg you're so pretty. I'm just ugly and fat.
    Me: You're not THAT ugly.

    She looked at me like I had just murdered her family.

    Well, was she ugly?
  • casperuk
    casperuk Posts: 195 Member
    As a chef

    "I like to put a little bit of myself into every meal I make. Especially the cream of mushroom soup"
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    Her: Omg you're so pretty. I'm just ugly and fat.
    Me: You're not THAT ugly.

    She looked at me like I had just murdered her family.

    lol:laugh:
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    "You're only alive because I don't want to serve jailtime...go ahead, thank me...."

    YES!!! We must work with the same *kitten*...or at least long distance relatives!

    I think every job has one of those jerks, whether they're related or not....or maybe it's just coz I'm in Customer Service...who knows ;)
  • Notorious_T
    Notorious_T Posts: 384
    Can you please STFU before I shove something in your mouth?

    Depending on what you'd be shoving, this wouldn't be a bad thing :bigsmile:
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    "there's this website called myfitnesspal"

    QFT, these words will never escape my mouth as long as I'm at work!
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    fuc*k off.
  • obwize
    obwize Posts: 102
    Her: Omg you're so pretty. I'm just ugly and fat.
    Me: You're not THAT ugly.

    She looked at me like I had just murdered her family.

    YES!!! Don't want to be insulted? How about you don't insult yourself.
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    As a chef

    "I like to put a little bit of myself into every meal I make. Especially the cream of mushroom soup"


    OMG...i just about spit my water on myself. I think all my co-workers think I've lost my mind.
  • _Ivian
    _Ivian Posts: 198
    I told this to my co-worker a few weeks ago:

    "I wish you'd quit. You don't do anything anyways."

    Needless to say, she gives me the stink eye every time she comes in now :laugh:

Categories