Things you should probably never tell a co-worker
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"I'm probably the favorite, and I make more than you..."0
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"I'd like to f^(k your sister."0
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Got asked by a co-worker if I'd like to see her wedding photos. You'd think I pooped in her corn flakes the look on her face when I said, "not really".0
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true story.....my first job ever.....Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour....eons ago.....
Chefs: know what we like to do at the end of the night before we clean up?
Me: no, what??
Chefs: Before we clean the grill at the end of the night, we flip the cockroaches onto it, their little legs burn up first but then they do this really cool little hopping dance....it's really cool...
<sound of back door opening and vomiting in the bushes>0 -
true story.....my first job ever.....Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour....eons ago.....
Chefs: know what we like to do at the end of the night before we clean up?
Me: no, what??
Chefs: Before we clean the grill at the end of the night, we flip the cockroaches onto it, their little legs burn up first but then they do this really cool little hopping dance....it's really cool...
<sound of back door opening and vomiting in the bushes>
Cruel!
Telling them you had a dream about them! Then looking them up and down really slowly before winking and walking away.... Freaks them out! Especially when you do it to ppl of the same sex
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if I laugh randomly, don't worry, the voices in my head are telling me jokes...0
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Shut the f*^k up moaning all the f'*^king time, you are a lazy b'^*ch, you do half what the others do, you don't pay attention, you complain, you are self absorbed, no it's not always about you, or your vile ****e of a waste of time kid. You drink too much, everyone notices you shake when you come in after a heavy weekend, you have no idea what it's like to be short of money, because if you did you wouldn't always be buying stuff, going out all the time, smoking and drinking,
I am so sick of it that I might actually say this..........0 -
true story.....my first job ever.....Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour....eons ago.....
Chefs: know what we like to do at the end of the night before we clean up?
Me: no, what??
Chefs: Before we clean the grill at the end of the night, we flip the cockroaches onto it, their little legs burn up first but then they do this really cool little hopping dance....it's really cool...
<sound of back door opening and vomiting in the bushes>
that is truly disturbing0 -
"I will stab you"...I said this two weeks into the job...a saying my son picked up from some show.
I later found out that she, indeed had been stabbed, by her ex hubby who used to batter her. Yeah, FML!
Of all the people to say this to how on earth could you have picked her???!!! I bet you felt awful
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"I have a foot fetish. Would you mind wearing more open-toed shoes?"
Wait, were you the one that told that to my friend and stared at our feet all the time? I wore granny shoes for a few years after that.0 -
"When was the last time you showered?"0
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I have come to realize common sense is not common!!0
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"shhh. wait, what? no i can't do that! *look at the person beside you* oh sorry you weren't supposed to hear that! hey wait, can you hear that?" then look all paranoid and evil! used to love doing this to newbies when i worked retail!0
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Him: oh you get a promotion and you get to wear your pajamas to work
Me: Dont ever f'ing talk to me like that again you dumba** jerkwad0 -
Hahaha, I try not to tell them anything about my life outside of work!!! My uncle called my boss two days ago, saying I'm in New York because my godmother died :noway: , so I can spend the day at a family reunion. My godmother was there, by the way! :drinker: My boss made me take off yesterday, but I insist on returning tonight, can't afford to lose any more money out of my paycheck. By the way, I didn't know he was gonna come up with an awful lie like that.0
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true story.....my first job ever.....Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour....eons ago.....
Chefs: know what we like to do at the end of the night before we clean up?
Me: no, what??
Chefs: Before we clean the grill at the end of the night, we flip the cockroaches onto it, their little legs burn up first but then they do this really cool little hopping dance....it's really cool...
<sound of back door opening and vomiting in the bushes>
Cruel!
Telling them you had a dream about them! Then looking them up and down really slowly before winking and walking away.... Freaks them out! Especially when you do it to ppl of the same sex
great idea....wish i'd thought of it then.....Im just not one of those pull-the-wings-off-of-flies kinda guys, ya know? I was pretty grossed out by it. But I was 16 too, first job, these guys are in their 40's. Not like I was going to say anything about it.......0 -
true story.....my first job ever.....Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour....eons ago.....
Chefs: know what we like to do at the end of the night before we clean up?
Me: no, what??
Chefs: Before we clean the grill at the end of the night, we flip the cockroaches onto it, their little legs burn up first but then they do this really cool little hopping dance....it's really cool...
<sound of back door opening and vomiting in the bushes>
that is truly disturbing
tell me about it. I had one of those weird moments where you laugh, not because it's funny but because you think they MIGHT be joking.....that little nervous laugh thing. Then you realize they're not joking and you just ......walk......away. Don't piss 'em off, don't tell 'em how sick they are......just......walk......away0 -
Do not tell them your disgusting sexual habits...either they believe you and think you're a freak ( except for the gal in shipping who wants to join in ), or they don't believe and just think you have a ****ed up sense of humor...
In my department... You're abnprmal if you DON'T talk about your sexual habits, no matter how effed up they might be, Bad part is, we work in a hospital, not somewhere like a brothel! LOL0 -
"That's what she said!" as an executive of your company walks by.....hahahaha whoops....0
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Truth."there's this website called myfitnesspal"0 -
'I manage the systems. Systems break, I can fix those. You manage the people. They break, you fix them.'
I was counseled.0 -
Sooooo.....the wife and I wanted to know if you're into swapping?
Thank god, I'm the HR director.....0 -
I have one other girl I work with and we know EVERYTHING about each other. Sad thing: mostly bedroom stuff. LOL0
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"there's this website called myfitnesspal"
TRUTH!0 -
"there's this website called myfitnesspal"
yup0 -
Her: Omg you're so pretty. I'm just ugly and fat.
Me: You're not THAT ugly.
She looked at me like I had just murdered her family.
I would have said the same.
I don't participate in people's pity-parties0 -
Walk up to a co-worker you REALLY don't like and say
"Are you getting fired? That's the rumor!"
And walk away.
Then laugh when they make a big deal about it to their boss and they get fired for it. :devil:0 -
"I have no idea how I got here today. I'm still drunk from last night."
- my manager at one of my first jobs.0 -
I am a swim teacher, and one of the kids was being super cute and i said "ahhhh she's so cute i could punch something!" I got the weirdest looks lol0
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Walk up to a co-worker you REALLY don't like and say
"Are you getting fired? That's the rumor!"
And walk away.
Then laugh when they make a big deal about it to their boss and they get fired for it. :devil:
you are a genius my dear
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