Why cant I just do this (VENT)

tanyaslosingit

I'm late to this party; but I just wanted to second (or third, fourth, ...) the concept of baby steps. I set up a weekly mini-NSV goal and focus on that. Once you've claimed your non-scale victory, set up another mini-goal. It's amazing how the little things add up!

FYI, my own mini-NSV goal this week is to make sure all my meals and snacks are at least 3 hours apart (but no more than 4.) I know it's sounds silly and/or arbitrary; but in my case, it's helping me avoid grazing throughout the day and, keeping my cal intake/energy steady :-)

Slow and Steady wins the race every time :-)

Please feel free to add me as a friend! I know that slow & Steady requires a little more patience and support than those going for the dramatic weight loss!

grannyfunk

I made many excuses to, just not motivated. My sister started losing weight and made me want to do it but still not enough motivation. Then my mom came to visit. She fell and we had a hard time getting her up. She doesn't want to do nothing but sit in her chair. I don't wamt to be like that. I had to make myself do this! Been doing pretty good took a week of and thankfully I didn't gain, just stayed to same.! Find you motivation! You Can do it. Find someone who does crafts and someone with a cricut and get some vinyle and cut out I CAN DO THIS and put on you mirror where u see it every day! I know you can do if I can.

allyjoy83

I have read a lot of articles on getting started, and I was in the exact same boat a couple of months ago. I was talking to a friend a little over a month ago who does personal training, and he made it plain when I was getting on myself about my weight gain, and he had just lost 50 lbs. He was very straight forward and said, it will be a priority when you make it a priority. It was like a light switch. I had spent a lot of time focusing on everything else in my life, and I wasn't making my health a priority. I was obsessing over my weight gain, and the stretch marks, and being tired, but I wasn't making my eating right, or exercising, or stress reduction a priority (for various reasons/excuses).

Two years ago, I was 80lbs lighter than what I am today, and, in many ways, I felt devastated about the gain. 40lbs ago, I had a personal trainer and worked my booty off with no visible results. I mean I was sweating, and working, and stressing. I didn't want to step on a scale because it always showed the same number. I quit and gained another 40 lbs. I watched documentaries on food, and how we process it, how it's made, cooked, farmed, success stories. I bought a juicer after watching Sick, Fat, and Nearly Dead, thinking that I was going to just juice everything, but life got in the way (and juicing really wasn't the answer for me). AND, there was always some form of temptation and it seemed easier to "give in" to the temptation.

3 weeks ago, I started eating paleo. Last week I started P90x. This is not an endorsement for either, just things that have changed for me in the last few weeks. I kept a food journal for the first week (until a friend turned me on to this site), and now it's not a chore. I LOVE food. I always have and I always will, so I made peace with it. Up until these last few weeks, it was a struggle to figure out what were right choices for me, and what works for my lifestyle. I need meals that are quick (and single person friendly); I need to be able to keep track of my calories without feeling like it's a chore; and I need to eat tasty things. So far, I've been sticking to it, and I don't feel deprived. It's still new to me, but I think this is the turning point because I made an affirmative choice about what's important to me.

I think the hardest parts about starting new habits are: (1) we are results driven, and if we don't see the result that we expect by a certain time, then we feel we have failed which makes us less likely to attempt again; and (2) that we think in terms of success and failure when it comes to our health. Food, and living, and existing is not a test we pass or fail. It's an experience. It's about how we want to live it. It took a lot for me to reach a point where I was ready to stop wanting, and start doing, and once I made the personal choice of how I want to live, and what I was willing (or not willing) to sacrifice, there are little to no temptations.

I'm sorry if this was too much information, or if it's out in left field. Good luck with everything, and if you want support, feel free to add me as a friend. I will say that this community has been very helpful for me thus far.

stephenwebbe

Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there

In the past I got way too much into dieting, and invested so much of myself into it that I felt so frustrated when I failed. It took me a long time to pick myself back up. There are so many elements that contributed to my previous failures and I spent a lot of time thinking about what really motivates me to diet. If you fully understand what your true motivation is, not the rational reasons why, but what makes you WANT to diet, then it will be a lot easier, because you can always lean on that when you are feeling frustrated or down.

For myself, I found that my true motivation is that I want to be mentally happy. As an inactive person, I found myself to be falling into a depression, that I had to pull myself out of. Something had to change, so I began walking every day - no pressure - just walking, and it eventually developed into me wanting to lose weight.

One of the hardest parts that I have found of losing weight is realizing things about my self image/self esteem as I change, it's really hard. I also am very sensitive to talking to others about my dieting/weight loss, because I don't want to fall into the trap of being motivated by others and I've been hurt in the past by other's comments about my weight.

A general rule that has worked well for me is don't be too hard on myself. Treat myself like I would want another person to treat me, with respect, understanding and patience. I also try very hard not to make a HUGE deal out of my successes or failures, but just to try as hard as I can to reach a balance in my life that is healthy. I'm not saying I don't try, I'm just saying that I don't beat myself up about winning or losing, I try to keep realistic about what I need to do...

I hope you end up doing well in your weight loss. A lot of people refer to it as a journey because it really is, don't be too hard on yourself, and just keep on picking yourself up and trying again the next day... be realistic with your goals. One thing that I've come to realize when reflecting on my weight loss, and frankly this can apply to everything in life. Who we are as people is simply a combination of the decisions that we make. So when you are feeling really crappy, and you want some sugary treat, and you rationalize it by saying that it's no big deal, just remember that one choice is a small decision that becomes part of who you are. The combination of choices to avoid certain foods, or find alternatives to the foods you love is what will ultimately determine if you are successful or not on your diet.

escualida

At the risk of going against what some of you have said, studies actually show that people are more likely to stick with a change when it is DRASTIC, rather than doing baby steps. I agree that something has to "click", you have to really decide that you're going to make a change no matter what, and then make one, a BIG one, and you're more likely to succeed.

bluestocking06

I would also suggest, if you have the means and/or access, seeing a counselor who specializes in disordered eating. A lot of times if something just isn't clicking no matter how you've change the diet plan, there's a deeper reason that may take a little digging to find.

RedefiningMe

I need to read in detail later. Great ideas from what I have read so far and YES...it is definitely baby steps!

jackieatx

I will put this out there and say that the first poster is right about being in the right mindframe and that food addiction is like drug addiction... Well, I was a heroin addict for years. (Don't freak out, I've been clean for three years now.) You really have to just be done. Done making excuses, done treating your body like crap, done saying, "I can't." The most important thing is... Finish it. Be done being sad. Be done wishing you were someone else. Be done feeling sorry for yourself. Be happy being you from now on. Just get up and go!!

Edit: and I must mention, baby steps are what its all about. One day at a time, baby!

psoshkin

You can do this! Just start by eating whatever you like and just measuring out 1 serving size according to the nutritional guide on the box. Drink lots of calorie free liquids to fill up on and start there. I know diet sodas are "bad" but start there. Slow and steady wins the race! For example, when I started, I still ate my beloved potato chips daily. I ate 1-2 serviings (160 calories each). I know it's not healthy but I had to have it! This is a way of life, if you're planning on doing this for the long haul, you have to eat foods you love, just in the proper portion sizes. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! and you can have everything you want, just not at the same time
Add me!!!!! I would love to help

Montemuscle1970

Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there

It doesn't sound like you're failing to me. Every time you try a diet you're taking a step, reorganizing your thoughts and tactics, doing something differently and ultimately you're eliminating what doesn't work. You're only getting closer to doing it. Diets are a lot more complex than just weight control. It affects everything about you. Every day is preparing you for the final step, which is losing the extra weight. That will be the last and easiest part of it when the rest of you is ready.

Also, from what you said, being too strict will make it harder. Sometimes you'll have a great week and you can really have that strictness and it will work. And some weeks you'll go over your calories every day. Don't worry about sticking to what any plan tells you. Just use it as a guideline. Even with the MFP app, start with just trying to maintain your weight. If you reduce your calories too much, your body/mind will "panic" subconsciously, and you'll just get the "craving" feeling. Have you ever tried a hard diet and found yourself eating right out of the peanut butter jar? Your body wants those calories back! But if you ease into it, you'll kind of train that reaction to not be so bad down the road.

One thing thats helped (still helping) me is just being proud of my own strictness about my diet. Don't let your family or friends lure you back into complacency with their opinions. (if it happens...it does for me) I can go out to a restaurant with a friend and watch them eat an appetizer, entré, and dessert and...CLEARLY it looks good and I would love to eat it, but I'm content with me making a decision and sticking to it. I've spent many an evening watching people eat those things while I sit there with just a glass of water. Its one way I get to exercise some control over my own life. Of course, I eat before I put myself in that situation. But I eat what I've decided. Not whats just available in a pinch.

Anywho, these things will fall into place for you over time. Rarely do decisions people make yield immediate results for them. Don't worry about the time it takes. Its month to month, not day to day. Just keep doing.

nursenelson

Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there

It doesn't sound like you're failing to me. Every time you try a diet you're taking a step, reorganizing your thoughts and tactics, doing something differently and ultimately you're eliminating what doesn't work. You're only getting closer to doing it. Diets are a lot more complex than just weight control. It affects everything about you. Every day is preparing you for the final step, which is losing the extra weight. That will be the last and easiest part of it when the rest of you is ready.

Also, from what you said, being too strict will make it harder. Sometimes you'll have a great week and you can really have that strictness and it will work. And some weeks you'll go over your calories every day. Don't worry about sticking to what any plan tells you. Just use it as a guideline. Even with the MFP app, start with just trying to maintain your weight. If you reduce your calories too much, your body/mind will "panic" subconsciously, and you'll just get the "craving" feeling. Have you ever tried a hard diet and found yourself eating right out of the peanut butter jar? Your body wants those calories back! But if you ease into it, you'll kind of train that reaction to not be so bad down the road.

One thing thats helped (still helping) me is just being proud of my own strictness about my diet. Don't let your family or friends lure you back into complacency with their opinions. (if it happens...it does for me) I can go out to a restaurant with a friend and watch them eat an appetizer, entré, and dessert and...CLEARLY it looks good and I would love to eat it, but I'm content with me making a decision and sticking to it. I've spent many an evening watching people eat those things while I sit there with just a glass of water. Its one way I get to exercise some control over my own life. Of course, I eat before I put myself in that situation. But I eat what I've decided. Not whats just available in a pinch.

Anywho, these things will fall into place for you over time. Rarely do decisions people make yield immediate results for them. Don't worry about the time it takes. Its month to month, not day to day. Just keep doing.

^^^^^^ that there guy was just simply AWESOME

miller0438

WOW
Thanks so much for all the awesome advice, tips and support. Im gonna come back to this often to read. Thanks to ya'll today is a new beginning for me and Im gonna do baby steps till I get this **** done!

jilaneeFthomas

I'm there with you Miller0438! Thanks for this post! It has motivated me too!!

Amberh82

Try one new thing or cutting out one thing a week. Sometimes when you try to do it all at once, its overwhelming and it backfires. and maybe the planning and calorie counting is stressing you out as well. Try just eating a little better then tracking to see how you did...

RealWomenLovePitbulls

when you get motivated, you will do it.
start by not keeping junk food around, so its not there to munch on throughout the day.
replace the junk with healthier snacks, like fruit and veggies.
there are also 100 cal packs of things like cookies and chips that taste good, as long as u eat just one pack and not 3 or 4 per sitting.
try to limit yourself to just 2 snacks a day.
work on portion control.
get out there and exercise, even just a 30 min. walk every morning or evening will help.

Larisonlj

Such good suggestions!
1. Quit beating yourself up, that is in the past. Look to the future and what you want.
2. You didn't put the weight on overnight, in a week, or even in a month....it's not going to come off overnight, in a week, or even in a month.....BUT IT WILL COME OFF!
3. You deserve a healthy you. No matter what was in the past, no matter what is happening now. You deserve it.
4. You must take care of yourself to take care of others (i.e. your kids).
5. I can say with every little 'baby step' you will find satisfaction and pride and a little more confidence. And then that grows to the next step, and the next. With each accomplished step you won't ever want to return to your old bad habits, you'll look for even more good habits.

You can SO do this. Good luck on your journey!

sandygirl68

I just started Ideal Protein and it is the first time I've been able to stay on a diet. 9 days.... down six lbs.

taso42

Plan ahead. Plan the whole week ahead if you have to. Every single meal. Don't make it too restrictive. Make it something you can live with, forever. You will get the hang of it.

Bentley2718

My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.

^^ This, even small changes can make a difference over time, and for most people, they're easier to keep. You'd be surprised at how big cumulative change can be over time.

HartJames

Priority. It has to be #1. While you are losing weight YOUR health has to be the most important thing. Turn that around in your head because it's an all consuming process that needs absolute focus & dedication. When I started, I was a single mom, literally working 90hrs. a week some weeks, I didn't sleep Sunday nights at ALL because I had back to back shifts. I dragged myself to the gym before or (usually) after a 12-16hr. shift because I figured I couldn't get any more exhausted so why not? My son had to adjust to my schedule for once instead of the other way around.

I think it was already said, you have want it bad!

mamaomefo

I've posted this quote before but I try to remember it every day to keep myself motivated. "This is the one body I have and I do everything possible to keep it in the best of shape." Don Ameche

DarleneKwood

I've been there, too.

I like the idea of small, more manageable goals. I worked for WEEKS, just to build the habit of drinking water. Then I spent over a month trying to build the habit of eating ONE fruit a day. I continued to ADD things to my diet and daily routine. I never 'cut down' on portion size, never eliminated any type of food, etc. Cutting down and eliminating the bad came easy and naturally once I implemented healthier choices.

I ask myself once a day, "What have I done that's good for my body today." My weight is 236 (down from 286). It's not my ideal weight. I have lost only half of what I want to lose. But because of the changes I made, I feel good about myself. I know I'm doing good things to (and for) my body.

Do something good for yourself today. Right now. Go drink a glass of pure water. Your body thanks you. Be kind to yourself and your efforts. Your desire alone to lose weight is commendable. Thank yourself for that. Allow yourself to eat crap. For now. But DO add good things, too. Every day will get easier.

Darlingir

you will do it when being the way you are hurts more than the effort to change

amuchison

Diets dont work 85% of them fail you have to make this a lifestyle change and it takes work more work than it took to put on the weight but it is possible to get it off and keep it off:) You have to first change your Habits ...50% veggies low GI 25% starch low GI 25% protein lean meats and exercise 5-6 times a week 2-3 days strength training:) It will happen give it time:) GI Glycemic Index the lower the number the better pertaining to losing weight:)

mamaomefo

Priority. It has to be #1. While you are losing weight YOUR health has to be the most important thing. Turn that around in your head because it's an all consuming process that needs absolute focus & dedication. When I started, I was a single mom, literally working 90hrs. a week some weeks, I didn't sleep Sunday nights at ALL because I had back to back shifts. I dragged myself to the gym before or (usually) after a 12-16hr. shift because I figured I couldn't get any more exhausted so why not? My son had to adjust to my schedule for once instead of the other way around.

I think it was already said, you have want it bad!

I must say to this...you are amazing! WTG!

BR3ANDA

Take small steps, moderation is key, and dont expect the weight to come off in a few months, its going to take time, but mostly, it will take patience. Next time you go to grab a snack, ask yourself "Is this good for me?" If calorie counting doesnt work for you, then try meeting your macros everyday instead, focus on the main three, carbs, proteins, and fats.

pkw58

you will do it when being the way you are hurts more than the effort to change

After decades of yo-yo -dieting , this was me last Christmas Eve… I just decided nothing tasted better than feeling good enough to play my horn at church and being able to fit into my clothes. 7 moths later, I feel better and weight less than I did 27 years ago…

mattness09

Leave the junk food at the super market. If its not there, then you won't eat it. Before you check out always go through your cart and ask yourself if you really need it. Stock up on fruits when your craving carbs.

wifeandmommyofone1

I know it's hard to stay motivated and easy to get discouraged. Definitely take baby steps and always just take it one day at a time. Never forget that tomorrow is a new day.

I just started my weight loss journey this week. We can do this!

Good luck

tracystire

Yep....I know exactly how you feel....I was at 250 lbs, a size 20 and it was depressing the heck out of me!! In March I saw a picture of myself and thought..."holy cow when did I get SO big - this HAS GOT TO GO!!!" I did not look good nor is it healthy for me to carry that much weight on my 5'4" frame. I have tried dieting in the past but as another poster has mentioned, it's pretty hard when you are the only one in your house watching their weight!! I went a little unconventionally this time and I am using ACE dietary supplements and that has helped me tremendously with my cravings for sugary drinks (former Pepsi addict), portion control and now I am enjoying my meals for the first time in my life instead of scarfing them down!! In the last 3 months, I can see the weight has come off - not a ton but definitely a step in the right direction. I don't own a weigh scale so I am not beholden to the almighty number but I feel better, I am eating better and healthier and I just discovered this website yesterday (how about that for FATE!) so now I know I am heading in the right direction with all the support here!! My goal is a size 12 -14 and I will get there!!! YAY!!