Why cant I just do this (VENT)

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  • nursenelson
    nursenelson Posts: 295
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    Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there

    It doesn't sound like you're failing to me. Every time you try a diet you're taking a step, reorganizing your thoughts and tactics, doing something differently and ultimately you're eliminating what doesn't work. You're only getting closer to doing it. Diets are a lot more complex than just weight control. It affects everything about you. Every day is preparing you for the final step, which is losing the extra weight. That will be the last and easiest part of it when the rest of you is ready.

    Also, from what you said, being too strict will make it harder. Sometimes you'll have a great week and you can really have that strictness and it will work. And some weeks you'll go over your calories every day. Don't worry about sticking to what any plan tells you. Just use it as a guideline. Even with the MFP app, start with just trying to maintain your weight. If you reduce your calories too much, your body/mind will "panic" subconsciously, and you'll just get the "craving" feeling. Have you ever tried a hard diet and found yourself eating right out of the peanut butter jar? Your body wants those calories back! But if you ease into it, you'll kind of train that reaction to not be so bad down the road.

    One thing thats helped (still helping) me is just being proud of my own strictness about my diet. Don't let your family or friends lure you back into complacency with their opinions. (if it happens...it does for me) I can go out to a restaurant with a friend and watch them eat an appetizer, entré, and dessert and...CLEARLY it looks good and I would love to eat it, but I'm content with me making a decision and sticking to it. I've spent many an evening watching people eat those things while I sit there with just a glass of water. Its one way I get to exercise some control over my own life. Of course, I eat before I put myself in that situation. But I eat what I've decided. Not whats just available in a pinch.

    Anywho, these things will fall into place for you over time. Rarely do decisions people make yield immediate results for them. Don't worry about the time it takes. Its month to month, not day to day. Just keep doing.


    ^^^^^^ that there guy was just simply AWESOME
  • miller0438
    miller0438 Posts: 72 Member
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    WOW
    Thanks so much for all the awesome advice, tips and support. Im gonna come back to this often to read. Thanks to ya'll today is a new beginning for me and Im gonna do baby steps till I get this **** done!
  • jilaneeFthomas
    jilaneeFthomas Posts: 18
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    I'm there with you Miller0438! Thanks for this post! It has motivated me too!!
  • Amberh82
    Amberh82 Posts: 468 Member
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    Try one new thing or cutting out one thing a week. Sometimes when you try to do it all at once, its overwhelming and it backfires. and maybe the planning and calorie counting is stressing you out as well. Try just eating a little better then tracking to see how you did...
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
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    when you get motivated, you will do it.
    start by not keeping junk food around, so its not there to munch on throughout the day.
    replace the junk with healthier snacks, like fruit and veggies.
    there are also 100 cal packs of things like cookies and chips that taste good, as long as u eat just one pack and not 3 or 4 per sitting.
    try to limit yourself to just 2 snacks a day.
    work on portion control.
    get out there and exercise, even just a 30 min. walk every morning or evening will help.
  • Larisonlj
    Larisonlj Posts: 426 Member
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    Such good suggestions!
    1. Quit beating yourself up, that is in the past. Look to the future and what you want.
    2. You didn't put the weight on overnight, in a week, or even in a month....it's not going to come off overnight, in a week, or even in a month.....BUT IT WILL COME OFF! :smile:
    3. You deserve a healthy you. No matter what was in the past, no matter what is happening now. You deserve it.
    4. You must take care of yourself to take care of others (i.e. your kids).
    5. I can say with every little 'baby step' you will find satisfaction and pride and a little more confidence. And then that grows to the next step, and the next. With each accomplished step you won't ever want to return to your old bad habits, you'll look for even more good habits.

    You can SO do this. Good luck on your journey! :wink:
  • sandygirl68
    sandygirl68 Posts: 1
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    I just started Ideal Protein and it is the first time I've been able to stay on a diet. 9 days.... down six lbs.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    Plan ahead. Plan the whole week ahead if you have to. Every single meal. Don't make it too restrictive. Make it something you can live with, forever. You will get the hang of it.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.


    ^^ This, even small changes can make a difference over time, and for most people, they're easier to keep. You'd be surprised at how big cumulative change can be over time.
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
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    Priority. It has to be #1. While you are losing weight YOUR health has to be the most important thing. Turn that around in your head because it's an all consuming process that needs absolute focus & dedication. When I started, I was a single mom, literally working 90hrs. a week some weeks, I didn't sleep Sunday nights at ALL because I had back to back shifts. I dragged myself to the gym before or (usually) after a 12-16hr. shift because I figured I couldn't get any more exhausted so why not? My son had to adjust to my schedule for once instead of the other way around.

    I think it was already said, you have want it bad!
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
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    I've posted this quote before but I try to remember it every day to keep myself motivated. "This is the one body I have and I do everything possible to keep it in the best of shape." Don Ameche
  • DarleneKwood
    DarleneKwood Posts: 2
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    I've been there, too.

    I like the idea of small, more manageable goals. I worked for WEEKS, just to build the habit of drinking water. Then I spent over a month trying to build the habit of eating ONE fruit a day. I continued to ADD things to my diet and daily routine. I never 'cut down' on portion size, never eliminated any type of food, etc. Cutting down and eliminating the bad came easy and naturally once I implemented healthier choices.

    I ask myself once a day, "What have I done that's good for my body today." My weight is 236 (down from 286). It's not my ideal weight. I have lost only half of what I want to lose. But because of the changes I made, I feel good about myself. I know I'm doing good things to (and for) my body.

    Do something good for yourself today. Right now. Go drink a glass of pure water. Your body thanks you. Be kind to yourself and your efforts. Your desire alone to lose weight is commendable. Thank yourself for that. Allow yourself to eat crap. For now. But DO add good things, too. Every day will get easier.
  • Darlingir
    Darlingir Posts: 437
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    you will do it when being the way you are hurts more than the effort to change
  • amuchison
    amuchison Posts: 274 Member
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    Diets dont work 85% of them fail you have to make this a lifestyle change and it takes work more work than it took to put on the weight but it is possible to get it off and keep it off:) You have to first change your Habits ...50% veggies low GI 25% starch low GI 25% protein lean meats and exercise 5-6 times a week 2-3 days strength training:) It will happen give it time:) GI Glycemic Index the lower the number the better pertaining to losing weight:)
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
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    Priority. It has to be #1. While you are losing weight YOUR health has to be the most important thing. Turn that around in your head because it's an all consuming process that needs absolute focus & dedication. When I started, I was a single mom, literally working 90hrs. a week some weeks, I didn't sleep Sunday nights at ALL because I had back to back shifts. I dragged myself to the gym before or (usually) after a 12-16hr. shift because I figured I couldn't get any more exhausted so why not? My son had to adjust to my schedule for once instead of the other way around.

    I think it was already said, you have want it bad!

    I must say to this...you are amazing! WTG!
  • BR3ANDA
    BR3ANDA Posts: 622 Member
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    Take small steps, moderation is key, and dont expect the weight to come off in a few months, its going to take time, but mostly, it will take patience. Next time you go to grab a snack, ask yourself "Is this good for me?" If calorie counting doesnt work for you, then try meeting your macros everyday instead, focus on the main three, carbs, proteins, and fats.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
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    you will do it when being the way you are hurts more than the effort to change

    After decades of yo-yo -dieting , this was me last Christmas Eve… I just decided nothing tasted better than feeling good enough to play my horn at church and being able to fit into my clothes. 7 moths later, I feel better and weight less than I did 27 years ago…
  • mattness09
    mattness09 Posts: 18 Member
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    Leave the junk food at the super market. If its not there, then you won't eat it. Before you check out always go through your cart and ask yourself if you really need it. Stock up on fruits when your craving carbs.
  • wifeandmommyofone1
    wifeandmommyofone1 Posts: 1
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    I know it's hard to stay motivated and easy to get discouraged. Definitely take baby steps and always just take it one day at a time. Never forget that tomorrow is a new day.

    I just started my weight loss journey this week. We can do this!

    Good luck :)
  • tracystire
    tracystire Posts: 17 Member
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    Yep....I know exactly how you feel....I was at 250 lbs, a size 20 and it was depressing the heck out of me!! In March I saw a picture of myself and thought..."holy cow when did I get SO big - this HAS GOT TO GO!!!" I did not look good nor is it healthy for me to carry that much weight on my 5'4" frame. I have tried dieting in the past but as another poster has mentioned, it's pretty hard when you are the only one in your house watching their weight!! I went a little unconventionally this time and I am using ACE dietary supplements and that has helped me tremendously with my cravings for sugary drinks (former Pepsi addict), portion control and now I am enjoying my meals for the first time in my life instead of scarfing them down!! In the last 3 months, I can see the weight has come off - not a ton but definitely a step in the right direction. I don't own a weigh scale so I am not beholden to the almighty number but I feel better, I am eating better and healthier and I just discovered this website yesterday (how about that for FATE!) so now I know I am heading in the right direction with all the support here!! My goal is a size 12 -14 and I will get there!!! YAY!!

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