Almost in tears and I can't quite explain why
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Slow and steady wins the race.
That is all.
Sounds like you're on the right track looking at your meals again and giving yourself a little extra kick-start. You'll be in that size 12 in no time...if not already! x0 -
I'm jealous of you that you have lost 52 lbs! A lot of people wish they were in your shoes! Feel good about what YOU have accomplished!! Plus,sounds like she is crash dieting doing low carb and low calories. She ma ynot keep it off but you will because you learned the slow steady way!!!0
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Sometimes its just the scale of the task you want to do, and sometimes we have a bad day hon, dont worry about it. It might not even be that you are jealous, maybe just upset that you have stalled. No biggie.
Just make sure that you carry on doign what you're doing. Have you updated your goals now that you have lost some weight? It may tell you tlo consume less calories and it may kick your plateau.
Chin up, and hope thigns improve x0 -
I think we ALL (especially women) struggle with beating ourselves up for every perceived "failure." We are our HARSHEST critics. I feel your pain, because I've found myself in that same spot, crying, feeling like a failure, all because I'm comparing myself against something else and not measuring up. :flowerforyou:
I try to just see this as part of the journey -- maybe if I can learn to give myself a break, to enjoy my successes more, and to keep looking inward instead of comparing outward, I'll have made some bigger strides than just pounds along the way.
Hang in there girl -- and don't feel silly, or selfish, or bad about those feelings. We ALL have them sometimes. And it's not because we wish bad things for others. We just flog ourselves too much.
Hang in there. Take out some old photos, and let yourself see how far you've come. And then really really savor that success.0 -
First off, *hug*
Realize that working hard and strictly watching calories can also take a toll on you emotionally. I'm sure you know your and her situation is different. If you know you are doing the best you can, then ease up on yourself. You have no standards you need to meet except your own, and that should always mean taking amazing care of yourself and putting in the time and effort you deserve.
If you are doing these things, you will meet your own success. When you compare yourself to others, you will always find a way to come up short. It is pointless, and you have done a fantastic job so far. Keep your head up. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and you deserve every minute of effort you put into making yourself the best you can be.
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Yeah, what they said. LOL
You're doing great. Slow and steady win the race.0 -
First of all, I want to give you a big ((hug)). It sucks to feel like someone is doing better than you and in the back of your mind you have these feelings like maybe you aren't doing enough and somehow you've failed yourself. I've been there.
That is completely normal.
Now ... stop feeling like that. Seriously. Just stop. Tell yourself that those feelings are just silly and you do not need to validate them with anything.
You have came SO FAR and you are doing it in a way that is healthy and in a way that is teaching yourself lifelong habits. You aren't limiting carbs or limiting this or that. You are eating in a way that will allow you to lose and also will eventually allow you to maintain the fantastic loss that you have achieved.
You're doing everything right! Got that?! Keep going! Don't you dare allow yourself to feel like you are less than anything or anyone. This journey is about YOU and no one else. If you keep moving in the right direction, you will get to your final goal. Slow and steady wins the race! 0 -
Hey there,
Just read your post. It's perfectly normal to envy what people have or have accomplished if the thing is something you want for yourself. However, what works for one does not work for another and you need to draw a line under this right now. You need to work out what is important to you and use that as YOUR drive.
I have friends who are doing a diet club (SW/WW etc) and yeah, it did get my goat a little that they had lost so much weight in a shorter amount of time but, at the end of the day, what I'm doing is eating nutritionally better for me, adopting long term lifestyle changes, and exercising regularly so I know I'm on the right pathway. If it takes 2 years to lose all of my weight then so be it. I'd rather do it this way and for it to take longer but with a higher success rate of not gaining the weight back, than lose it through being miserable and denying myself of loads of foods I can't have.
Weight management is not simply about losing weight (or gaining it even). It's about your relationship with food and how you feel about it. We link pleasure and pain to food and the confusion starts when we link both emotions to the same food. If you've stalled, it would help you looking at the foods you eat....that you like so you can make a decision whether long term these foods are making you happy or not. If they're not then get rid.
You have to cut yourself some slack, you've done amazingly well so far and you can continue to do so. Like I said earlier, draw a line under how that email made you feel and do something you enjoy....e.g. go shopping, get your nails done, read your favourite mag or watch your favourite movie. You are in charge of your feelings which means you can feel happier about this little glitch.
Good luck on your journey pet! 0 -
I should be happy for my Aunt and I shouldn't feel this way but somewhere in my screwed up head I am mad at myself for not being a 12 too.
P.S. Wanna hear MY recent sob story? I bought a scale the other day that had a "body fat" reading on it. After stepping on it, and seeing that number, I cried like a big baby. I was the same person I was the day before, but suddenly the new scale had me blubbering. :noway: Silly, huh?!?
See? We all do it.
BTW, I took the darned thing back to the store. I'm gonna stick w/my old scale and just keep keepin' on.0 -
Chin up girl!.. see my ticker below.. yeah its been like this for a whole year.. i have people around me who doesnt train hard started off few months back and today they are at healthy weight and i am still stuck, i have my days where in i cried bucket full of tears but everything said and done, i hvnt given up.. ... NOTHING CAN DE-MOTIVATE ME..and i will not STOP .You are doing great.. keep at it!! Success comes to those who believe it.0
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It's just frustration. I can totally relate to this. It is not that you aren't happy for your aunt. You are just disappointed because you want more for yourself. The problem is that we give ourselves a deadline. We have an expectation that we want fulfilled by X date, but what we fail to realize is that the changes we make are going to impact the rest of our lives. Therefore, we don't have to have a deadline. Someday, you will achieve the same kind of success as your aunt. But it will be in the time that is for you, not the time that is for her.0
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Thank you everyone. This is what I needed and this is why I posted my feelings. I need the outside view looking in. I needed someone to grab me by the shoulders and give me a BIG shake!
Iknow this whole journey has a lot to do with "re-configuring" the brain also. Which is VERY HARD FOR ME. And my response/reaction to my grandmother's e-mail is very dramatic. I know this but can't change my feelings and there is even a voice in the back of my head as I type this "stop bit**in' and get over it!"
I am going to do as everyone suggested. This isn't a race maybe in another 4 months I'll be wearing a 12, Maybe I should try a 12 on today and see how the do or don't fit and use that as motivation? Cause as I sit here and think...I haven't even tried a 12 on yet.....How do I know?
I will reevaluate my eating habits which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate my meals, which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate and set goals--which I haven't done in 3 months. I will use my Aunt's success to push me harder--maybe instead of 15 push-ups I will think about that size 12 and do 25.
I will stop whining, start smiling and keep moving. I can and I will.
And Crystal, with THIS attitude - you WILL succeed!!!
Absolutely. :drinker:0 -
Do this for YOU and no one else. Don't compare to others. Everyone else said it well. Hang in there!0
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52 pounds!!??!! I'm jealous!! Seriously...you have lost the equivalent of a first-grade child. Cause for celebration!!
I have watched my mom and dad go through this when they diet together. She has to scratch and sweat and struggle for every single pound lost....all he has to do is cut out pop and he drops 20 pounds. Every body is different...but it can be sooo frustrating, especially if you've been stalled for a while. It's not whining...and even if it is, that's why we're here for each other!
One other thing, there's only a slight difference between your aunt's size 12 and your size 13...it is possible you are the same size, just wearing different brands or styles of clothing? If she's buying hers at the thrift store, could be her size 12 has been "pre-stretched" a bit by the previous owner?
I think you are doing great...you are motivation for those of us just starting out!0 -
I understand how that is really frustrating. I know exactly what you mean about others progressing more, but soon she, too will hit a plateau. The pounds do seem to drop off quicker if you have more to lose. Have you thought about ramping up your exercise? One thing I tell myself when I find I'm comparing myself to others is that there isn't a limited amount of success in the world. Just because someone else writes a book or sings a song or loses weight doesn't mean that there is all of a sudden less of a chance that I can write a book or sing a song or lose weight. The great thing about success and progress is that there is an unlimited amount!! Even though your aunt is losing weight and that can be very frustrating for you, it doesn't mean that every pound she loses takes away one that you can lose. I hope that makes sense. Perhaps if you talk with your aunt you can take some tips away from her? Use her success and that twinge of competitive drive I see sparking to fuel your own weight loss. If she can do it, so can you! Use each other to help hold yourself more accountable 0
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Keep up the good work and dont get down about it You'll get to your goal.
I have to agree on the diary stuff too, there is a lot of processed food in there, a lot of going over calories and eating back all exercise calories (which unless you have a HRM do not take on face value from MFP). Just eat better, make sure you're definitely burning what you think you are through exercise and you'll get to your goal. Am I annoyed that there are kids who get a PhD at 15? No, it has no effect on how long it will take me to get mine, so dont be comparing yourself to others, unless there is something you feel you can take from their example.0 -
Aww, Honey! It's okay. Losing weight can make us feel emotional and a little insecure. You are doing okay, and you are meeting your goals. That's awesome!!
When I read your post, I wondered if you were short on protein because I can get really emotional when my diet is unbalanced and I'm not eating enough of it. Sure enough - you left protein cals behind for the past few days. Try eating two boiled eggs at breakfast instead of one, and seek out more snacks with protein. If you're anything like me, getting your protein right will help you bear emotional hits a little easier.
BTW - I'm a size 10 in misses (even sizes), but have to go to a 13 or 15 in juniors (odd sizes) because they are cut differently. Go try on a few misses outfits (even if you aren't going to buy them) just to see what size you are in grown up clothes.0 -
I totally understand, but that does not make it right. I have been jealous for months now of a woman I do not know. I went to FB and saw that she married my ex husband. I was livid. That is the motivation for me joining this site.
I will not say that either of us are jealous, we are merely disappointed. You for your reasons and me for mine.
I have never told anyone that I cried when I looked at those pictures. She is by no means small but she is smaller than I am. I wear an 18/20 and I want to scream. She looks like maybe a 14/16.
WE-you, me and whoever else is out there, have to concentrate on one thing and that is doing what is best for us. You have lost and has been able to keep it off. That is a great accomplishment. Do not discredit what you have done. 54 pounds is amazing. I have only lost 3. Hey, but I am proud of those 3 lost.
You are a beautiful person. See in you what your MFP family see.
Keep it up (the journey)! Suck it up (the comparison). Give it up (high five to yourself) --You deserve it.
Best wishes.
:smokin:0 -
I definitely understand. But like others have said, you can't compare your loss to others'. I feel crazy giving advice to someone who has lost almost 4x as much weight as I have, but if the changes you've made are sustainable, you'll get there in your own time-- you'll be healthy, you'll be strong, and you'll be there for life. Maybe your aunt will keep the weight off, maybe she won't, but either way, it's not a reflection on you and what you've accomplished.0
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As a mom, I know that if I casually mention my weight loss to my daughter she will be far more motivated to stick to her diet than anything else I can say. Maybe Grandma gave you a much needed nudge in a way that you were ready to be nudged? Thank you Grandma and Auntie!0
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You were expecting praise and congrats from your grandmother instead you got a competition challenge. What you are feeling is normal. She was not deliberatley slighting you, but she did.0
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Before I say anything, I want you to know that a 52-pound loss is great and nothing to thumb your nose at so it's obvious you're doing something right. Right???? Secondly, I took a look at your food diary. In my very humble opinion, I think you're eating way to many processed foods that are high in carbs and sugars. If you want to see the results your aunt is seeing, you may need to consider tweeking your diet a bit and try to eat cleaner. Try upping your fruits and veggies and cutting out processed/fast foods. I'm not saying cut them out completely, but maybe once a week on a Saturday or Sunday could be your "cheat" day. Every other day of the week, try to eat as cleanly as possibly. I really think that would help you see a huge difference. Try it for a month and just see what happens. Another thing. Talk to your aunt and find out what she's doing. It may be that she is doing exactly what I've suggested. Even if she isn't, I suggest you give it a try.0
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You've lost 52 pounds, are at a size 13 and haven't gained in a few months but have either maintained or lost a little bit more. Be happy with that.0
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{{{hugs}}} to you! I feel your exasperation and I think many of us get weepy at times, for sure us women and for sure during a certain time of the month for me, lol. You are doing great!!! As someone else said, she had a lot more to lose, so will lose it quicker here at the beginning, but she will eventually hit that plateau we each hit. I have been at mine for a while now but have not been working out as I should, so know that is why.0
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Remember this a junior 13 is 2 inches smaller per industry standard than a misses or womens size 12 so you are ahead. Hang in there.0
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Be happy for your aunt she has a huge personal victory. Now take her victory and use it to fuel your own! Remember everyone's body is different and so it reacts to foods and exercise differently. I get it you would be frustrated though...I know I would be too! Take a step back and look at what you could do differntly if anything at all. Are you eating a lot of processed foods or doign the exact same workout every day? Maybe it's an opportunity to change things up a bit. Keep up the good work and don't give up. You can do this!0
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i can totally relate. every time i get on back on track my husband does too. well since he is a man he tends to lose more and still eat more than i do and for selfish reasons it frustrates me to the point of giving up. this last time i gave up though he ended up staying on his program rather than falling off with me and that has actually helped me come back in a healthy way. i've started looking at him as an inspiration rather than someone who would just come along to take the wind out fo my sails and make my 1 pound a week weight losses look like nothing.
i know this goes back to my childhood with being compared to my sister all the time. i try now to get out of my own head and try to just be proud of him for making good choices and be proud of myself for my accomplishments.
i know everybody says you shouldn't feel that way, but you will feel what you feel and the best way to deal with it is to wright it down like you did. great job!0 -
Sending hugs! It sounds like you were having "one of those days" and WE ALL HAVE THEM. So let yousrself cry if thats what you need to do - sometimes its helpful and cathartic. You already know that 52 pounds is major. Congratulations.
Also, I read your profile - it says that you work two jobs. How hard is it to find the time to dedicate all of the excersise time and planning time needed to lose 52 pounds? Again - yay you! Bet your Aunt doesn't work two jobs *wink. I think you're awesome!0 -
**big hug** I can totally relate.. I also have a few friends that are changing their lifestyle for a better one.. and they are so much more succesful than I am..Ive been on this lifestyle change since 5/13/2012 and i have lost 11lbs..I have a close friend who started in June and has already lost 25lbs..I feel so unaccomplished compared to her. But I will cotinue my route and hope for the best.0
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I think its time to surprise yourself with your own abilities. I promise, there is no magic left in the world quite as effective as pride in your accomplishments. *hug* We've all been there. Just tell yourself that your body always slows down before a growth spurt.
Its when you think you've failed and you keep going when there is no hope on the horizon, that you are rewarded for your struggles. I promise its true.0
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