Almost in tears and I can't quite explain why
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You are doing amazing!
I did a low carb diet in college & I lost 45 pounds in 9 months. Everyone said I would gain it all back (which I eventually did) but it took me almost 2 years. The down side was it wasn't a change I was willing to live with for the rest of my life so the changes I saw to my body had an expiration date. Also, I was told numerous times after losing the first 35 pounds, that I didn't look healthy. That is not what you want to hear when you are hungry! And on the diet I did (there are many low carb diets) I was usually hungry.
With MFP, I have told my boyfriend that I am excited to get to my goal weight just b/c I think I have made little changes along the way and I think I can totally live this way for the rest of my life. (And I get pretty excited at the thought that one day I will be able to add calories back (when you change your profile settings from "trying to lose 2 pounds a week" to "maintain current weight") and STAY at the weight I want to be at!)
All that said, if you are looking for a "meal plan" with more protein and less carbs the following was recommended to me:
>>>Snack (I was told to eat within 30 min of waking up)
1 (med) pink lady apple
>>>Breakfast
Heart healthy egg white omelet, sautéed mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, & cheese.
½ cup fresh fruit (consisting of cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, & grapes)
English muffin
>>>Lunch
*Garden Vegetable soup - bowl (*from Potbelly’s restaurant ...I’m sure you could sub any other 100-150 calorie veggie soup though)
Oyster crackers (*the ones at Potbelly’s are 66 calories if that helps)
>>>Snack
1 pint of fresh whole strawberries
>>>Dinner
2 Tilapia fillets
2 cups steamed broccoli (I put salt, garlic salt, or garlic powder on mine)
Salad (consisting of: 2T dressing, 1 diced roma tomato, ¼ head of lettuce)
http://www.annies.com/products/Natural-Dressings << (a link for the dressing – I found it at a local Jewel)
^ all of that totals about 1327 calories. (I have to go for at least one 30 min walk to make it fit into my day.)
Well, I think this is the most I've ever written …ever. So I will end there!
Good luck, you are doing great!!0 -
Don't compare yourself to anyone. You are the unique you and you sound like you are doing amazing! Keep smiling and keep on going! You will get there at your own pace.0
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You should not compare yourself to her, but instead use it at motivation to kick it up a notch!
I agree. When I look at my MFP friends or forum posts there are always people who are doing better, running faster or lifting heavier than I am. They are the ones who inspire me to try harder!0 -
you are not in competition with others. compete with yourself only. When you work out, always try to do a little bit better than YOU did the previous day. Forget about others. Put the focus on yourself. You are doing very well.0
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This is easy. You're upset because you are being to hard on yourself. We have low self esteem issues and when we think we are doing good and wham out of nowhere someone close to you is flying past you it makes you feel inadequate. It doesn't mean its sane or right but that is just the way it is. We need to build our self esteem up and remember that this is OUR journey and we will be successful in our own time and on our own terms. I have recently had the same issues not going to say with who but it does make you feel like you're doing something wrong. Especially when you start before them. ugh. But it's all good because you will do great. Stay strong, stay focused, and worry about you. :flowerforyou:0
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I am so sorry. I can relate. I have been trying to lose weight for a while and it has been so slow.
Don't measure yourself by anyone else. You know your body.
Don't let someone else's journey take the joy away from yours.
I am sure you want affirmation from the ones you love. You deserve that affirmation whether you receive it or not.
Keep up the good and hard work. You will succeed!0 -
low carb works. maybe you should give it a try! i do it, and i can't imagine going any other route for my life.0
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We all have people in our life that jus don't get how hard it is to lose weight. They just make up their mind, eat the same way we are and the pounds fall away. It is frustrating and the tears are understandable. [Been there- still there]
Sometimes we need to shake up what we have been doing to get off the plateau and start losing again.
Sometimes a trip to the doctor for some blood work to find out what is going on is in order.
There are real medical issues that can hinder weight loss. Ask your doctor for a complete work up.
I'm in the middle of that now. So far we have discovered that I am Insulin Resistant [headed toward diabetic] and that I have Ostoarthritis in my feet. Still waiting for other results.
Reach out to your support system. Many of us are in your shoes.
I get the jealousy- anger- sadness... hang in there. You can do this.0 -
I have felt like crying as well. But it's not because of my failures or anyone elses success. I think actually it's a happy want to cry.
There are so many negative mean people in the world but coming out here seeing people be positive and good to each other and themselves ..it's just awesome. My best friend saw that I was losing weight and quickly jumped on the wagon. I was her inspiration and I'm glad about that but it DOES give you a little competition which should motivate you!!! Let the cry out and then let the positive in!!!0 -
First off 52lbs down is amazing!!! 2nd I can understand your frustration in not losing as quickly as you like or having someone else who started after lose faster, but like another poster said, if your aunt weighed more than you to start than she would lose faster than you. So dont be discouraged. YOu are not alone. And you are doing an awesome job. XOXO :flowerforyou:0
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You've lost 52lbs - that is nothing to be sad\upset about. Keep doing what you are doing and try not to compare yourself to anyone else. :flowerforyou:0
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Its hard but you have to remember this is a LIFE change. Its not just a weight loss. You will both be doing these things forever. And there is plenty of time. Heck, if I got jealous of every person on here who lost more than I have, I wouldnt BE here...LOL! So be proud of what you have accomplished...and be glad you are in that 13...I am just into 16's now so I have a LOT longer to go than you.
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I was going to say this, and noticed other people say it too, but I'll say it anyway. A 13 is a junior size, 12 is womens. A 13 junior is smaller! But even if it wasn't, you are doing great!!! I made the mistake of watching "The Biggest Loser", and after feeling like I was doing fabulous, I felt like crap because the most I ever lost in a week was 7lbs, and it was only once! Most of the time it's more like 2.5 lbs. But we cannot compare ourselves to other people. Easier said than done, I know.
As far as low carbing goes, if you have not been doing that and are still losing weight, I don't see a reason for you to change what you are doing. We need carbs for energy, we just have to keep it to a reasonable amount. I try to keep mine under 120g a day, but if I had to give them up entirely to lose weight, as soon as I lost it all I know I'd be eating them again. I couldn't do that for the rest of my life. That is the key, do what you can do forever, or be undone when the "diet" is over.
Keep your chin up, I can't wait to be at 52lbs lost!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I can totally relate! I have been struggling with my weight, ever since I quit smoking. I faithfully gained 10 pounds/month for 7 months when I quit smoking. I suddenly could not breath and looked horrible (I only weight 105 before I quit smoking). So... for the past could of years, I've been trying to loose it. I decided that I was going to "get on the ball" for the New Year - I was doing really well... lost 5 pounds every month, which was my goal.
Until April... and my dad passed away. I gained back one of those 5 pounds in April (out of town for almost 2 weeks to be with him for his final days and funeral) and now... I can't seem to loose a pound! It is SO FRUSTRATING. I don't have an aunt to hate on and be jealous of, but I sure am getting depressed with myself and going no where.0 -
I think to admit you are jealousy is honest and healthy. The crying is normal too. It is when you bottle it in and smile and be fake about it, let it consume your thoughts...well I think that's when it turns to envy. Envy is not good. Same goes with anger. If you are honest with yourself you show you are angry, but if you let it stay bottled in that anger can lead to hate.
I think one thing to point out before people might get confused as to thinking why I am saying jealousy and anger are good things, is that what I am really trying to say is that jealousy is a temporary human emotion.
When people act out of jealousy or anger, they are really acting out of fear. In your case, fear of failure is so common - I experience this same fear when I used to be out with my ex boyfriend who would check out other women in front of my face - but I would portray my emotions to him out of jealousy and anger. What I was really feeling was the fear he would leave me, or that he would not love me. I had to find out later (after painful relationship after painful relationship) that you have to love yourself before you can love others - in any size you are in first. Than you can heal. You're doing a better job than me! I just started.
you are sooooooo wise!!0 -
Congrats to you and to your success. You have done amazing. Congrats to your Aunt as well. You probably were just having one of those days when things just didn't settle quite well. Actually sometimes a little jealousy can be a great motivater. Use it as that. Look for the positive in every situation and once you start doing that you will be amazed at how things all seem different. Good luck to you and keep up the great work.
Diane0 -
Thank you everyone. This is what I needed and this is why I posted my feelings. I need the outside view looking in. I needed someone to grab me by the shoulders and give me a BIG shake!
Iknow this whole journey has a lot to do with "re-configuring" the brain also. Which is VERY HARD FOR ME. And my response/reaction to my grandmother's e-mail is very dramatic. I know this but can't change my feelings and there is even a voice in the back of my head as I type this "stop bit**in' and get over it!"
I am going to do as everyone suggested. This isn't a race maybe in another 4 months I'll be wearing a 12, Maybe I should try a 12 on today and see how the do or don't fit and use that as motivation? Cause as I sit here and think...I haven't even tried a 12 on yet.....How do I know?
I will reevaluate my eating habits which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate my meals, which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate and set goals--which I haven't done in 3 months. I will use my Aunt's success to push me harder--maybe instead of 15 push-ups I will think about that size 12 and do 25.
I will stop whining, start smiling and keep moving. I can and I will.
ATTA GIRL!!
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The feelings are normal. But be happy for her. that 80 pounds has done way more for her health than for her size!
You are doing awsome!!!! Keep it up, you'll get there!0 -
I TOTALLY get this! My younger sister and I are very competitive as well...about 5 years ago we both did the whole Adipex diet and got freakishly skinny...of course I gained it all back but she didn't due to some other meds she went on
Anyhoo, the fight against fat sucks HOWEVER, you my dear are doing it the proper way: slow and steady wins the race. And 52 pounds is absolutely amazing!!!
Do not beat yourself up and do not give up the fight. Look for ways to improve yourself and remember this: If she gets too close to a cake or a piece of bread...game over. 0 -
I totally understand as well. The day my mom gave me her fat clothes I about cried, but I'm happy for her too! My mom was a 24 and is down to a flippin 10! She did have the gastric surgery but it was pretty much life or death. Even after losing the weight she had to get a pacemaker. That was my serious wake up call to get this weight off because my 3 year old son needs his mommy around.
Regardless, being jealous is normal. Be proud of your accomplishments and maybe post some before and afters. Never feel ashamed of yourself for the way you feel.0 -
I am on the verge of tears and can not completely tell you why...maybe complete disappointment in myself or I am total jealous jerk?!?
Let me explain what happened.
I e-mailed my grandmother yesterday catching her up on a few things and she responded and wanted to know about how the weight loss was going. She told me my Aunt has also been dieting ( she was very over weight) and has lost 80 pounds.
I was so happy for my Aunt because I can personally relate and I know how bad she wanted to be healthy.
I responded to my grandmother about how slow the last few months of my weight loss has been but I am still losing and thankfully haven't gained. I asked what my aunt was doing to lose her weight. I told her about this website and few others that I use for recipes.
I just read her responding e-mail and for some reason which I can't explain and find totally selfish--I am on the verge of tears. She explained my Aunt is doing low carb, low cal and has been walking3-4 miles a day. She said she buying clothes at a thrift store because she is changing sizes so much and she is currently in a size 12.
That is when a complete feeling of failure came over me and I could have let tears fall. I think I am jealous. I have been doing this journey longer and even though I know I didn't have as much weight as my Aunt to lose but I still haven't made as much progress as she has. I am not wearing a 12. I went from a size 16 to a 13 and that is where I have been for the past 4 months... I should be happy for my Aunt and I shouldn't feel this way but somewhere in my screwed up head I am mad at myself for not being a 12 too.
I'll get over it.
I am sorry I needed to vent and where else better but here.
Sometimes I look at peoples tickers and feel jelously inspired by their numbers. I may not be at their numbers yet but I will get there someday. You will too :-)
Those with more weight to lose have an easier time losing quicker than those who do not from my understanding.
Your doing FANTASTIC!!!! Don't be discouraged your doing awesome!!!0 -
Whatever you are doing, keep doing it. You've lost 52 pounds. That is something to be very proud of in itself. Your body is different than every one else out there. What works for some people doesn't always work for others. You must find what works for you, either proper nutrition, fitness, or a balance of both, and stick with it, tweaking it here and there to push the weight down even further. Great job and keep plugging. You can do it. Just be patient.
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods0 -
I know it is really hard and frustrating to see others get better results.
But honestly, after reading your post, I could tell that you are putting in everything you got. You should be proud about that. I know this is easier said than done. But don't let the scales tell you what you already know. You cried because you know you are doing everything in your power.
We are all just human, no matter how sacrilegious we pretend to be, we (atleast I) get jealous. Doesn't make you a bad person. If you are jealous and you realize it, then you are better than most people out there.
Be proud of yourself, I know I am proud of you
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I seriously am trying to personally Thank everyone but I can't keep up with the overwhelming and motivating responses. Thank you everyone--I mean it. Every word you have typed means something to me. That is why I love MFP--when we have moments--everyone is there to help you or be there for you no matter what. Not to mention I can't keep up with the friend requests...whoa...oh and I feel like an *kitten* for comparing a 13 to a 12---I didn't know they were in 2 different sections---wow--ya learn something new every day---and it is even more of a reason for me to shut up and get to WORK! thank you thank you thank you!!0
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I also had a disappointing day. I had a goal for myself, and I failed it. But I have to remember, (and maybe for you, too?) that I am not only dieting, being more active with some exercise, but I am lifting small weights. Are you doing anything like this? If so, you could be gaining MUSCLE (which adds some weight)!
Everyone loses and gains differently. We all have different schedules. You may not have time to walk 3-4 miles/day. Be proud of the progress you've made - 52 lbs lost - way to go! Also, keep in mind, heavier people tend to lose much faster than smaller people, and guys tend to lose more than girls. Don't gauge your progress on what others are doing. Gauge it on how YOU feel. A size 13?! That is GREAT! I have been around this size (depending on brand) for over 2 1/2 years, maybe longer. Once you ACCEPT a size and learn to dress your body to flatter your assets, you start to feel better.
It's normal for everyone to reach a plateau. I have been there for a few years, which is why I've tried something different - small meals/snacks all day as opposed to one large, unhealthy dinner late in the evening. Maybe try a different type of exercise, or change up your diet? The key is to jump start your metabolism into action!
The scale is not the sole measure of your worth or progress. Work on loving yourself.
You should be proud of what you've accomplished so far. And know that this is normal, you are not alone, and you can DO it! 0 -
Wow. I know how you're feeling and where you're coming from. Sometimes it is difficult to get ourselves in the right mindset, especially when things feel like they are not going as you'd hoped. But girl, I have to tell you, you inspire me! 52 pounds?! That's one hell of an accomplishment and you should hold your head high with pride. Good for you! Everyone loses and gains weight at a different pace. Remember that and remember how awesome you are for having the determination and commitment to make a healthy change, knowing that it will take time. *hugs*0
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Lots of encouragement here and thats great!
I will be the honest jerk here and try to help rather then pat you on the back....
First, I commend you on your honesty in the food journal. HOWEVER, that honesty points out a terrible diet and a constant pattern of over eating. Its a miracle you are not gaining. If Anyone is jealous, its me. I wish I could eat those calories and just maintain my weight.
Most of your days are in the red, some by way over 1000 calories.
I can understand frustration if you are doing everything right and not losing. But you are eating McDonalds Nuggets and sandwhiches (sometimes both in the same setting), you are eating as many calories in a single meal as most of us allow ourselves in a day (on a few days), and you are wondering why your Aunt is losing weight and you are not?
You seriously need to take a quick look at your food journal and then settle back in and get serious. One day here and there making your calorie goal is not making up for going over by 500 to 1200 calories on most days.0 -
^^^^^^ This-- Thanks!!!!!0
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Comparison is the thief of Joy. - Theodore Rosevelt0
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As for being a little jealous of your Aunt well that is nothing to beat yourself up over. It is a perfectly natural reaction to feel that way if you are struggling. That simply makes you human.
I would say however that it indicates to me that your goals need redefining. Anyone can lose weight quickly. The big question is...can they keep it off in the long term.
One of the major goals of your diet should be creating the building blocks of eating habits which can last you a life time. Do that and your weight loss may take a little longer but in five years time you will still be slim whilst other people will have regained and look upon your beauty with envious eyes....
What he said. You are working hard, you're meeting your goals and it's really hard and self-defeating to look at someone else who appears to have it easier than you do and feel good about this. Try keeping it all in perspective. Acknowledge that you are envious or even jealous and then use that emotion to renew your efforts to keep going. I've been trying to lose weight for months and had lost 20 pounds but over the winter/early spring I gained 7 of it back. You can see my ticker now says 15. It's been hard for me to lose that 15 and maintain it because my metabolism is slower and I battle depression. I have to work harder than I do. I get it. I accept that and I know that my life is a work in progress. Perhaps your aunt will be able to maintain her loss, perhaps not. My thought is that either way, if you are proud of your own progress (and you are doing super well!), once you get past your tears of frustration, you can give her kudos for her loss as well.
Not sure I'm explaining this well but my mom lost over 60 pounds last year and she looks and feels great. I was jealous for a long time but for years I let the fact that she was heavy comfort me and give me excuses since she'd been heavy almost my entire life. Now I know that she could do it despite all her health issues so I have to keep working at it since I don't want to be a failure to her or to myself. If she can do it, I can too.
Hugs and keep up the hard work ~ you will get there! I know it!0
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