Do I want to be fat?

kekagel

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, but I can truly say that I've become a food addict in the last few years. Every night I about how awful my food choices were or that I should have exercised more or drank more water. I convince myself that tomorrow I'll do better. But, I don't. I CRAVE sweets, ice cream and brownies, cakes, and cookies. I do crave other things, but not as much. I overeat a lot. Instead of having one burger and fries, I eat three. Sometimes I'm actually hungry and other times I eat because I like the taste of the food.

I did well tracking calories for about a month and lost some weight, but fell off the wagon so to speak and have been unable to get back on since. I've gained back all the weight and then some. While I feel good about myself when I'm losing weight and feel encouraged, I feel happy when I'm baking a new dessert or cooking a new recipe.

I guess my question is, do I somehow want to be fat because I have no willpower or strength to follow through and become a healthier person?

Brizoeller

I think it may be because it may be hard. We don't like change. Change is uncomfortable. And we as humans don't like to be uncomfortable. I say you take it a day at a time, maybe even an hour or a minute. When you get a food craving, remember "this too shall pass" You can do it. Think about how you want to live a long and HEALTHY life, and not be a slave to food. I don't think you want to be fat, I think you want to be happy, but are scared of making changes. Good luck! Feel free to request me if you need support!!

ianlikesholidays

Hi
You don't want to be fat - But you don't want to be slim enough to do something about it.
Life's over before we know it. So choose your own route.
Good luck
Ian

losinglbs81

I do the exact same thing to myself. I beat myself up over my lack of will power. I came to the realization just a few days ago that I do not want to be fat. I do not want to feel so down all the time, physically or mentally.

If I can do this you can too. Take baby steps. My first step is cutting out Pepsi. That was all I ever drank. I was drinking almost a 12 pack a day. I am on day four of half a can with dinner, just because I love the taste. To some that might be barely a step, to others that might be inconceivable. You have to pick a baby step that works for you.

To answer your question. I don't think you want to be fat. I think it is just a way of putting yourself down. I believe you have the will power and strength to become healthier!

Jamers1213

I believe everyone struggles with this in their own way. For me, it came down to having faith in myself. My weight has fluctuated over the years, and for once I'm taking control of that.

You absolutely can do this. Like the previous poster said, it's all in baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day, and even one small change a week can make a huge difference! Don't give up on yourself. Mind over matter...

SuperSnoopy

Of course you dont want to be fat, who does. Thats what this site is all about thats why we get so much positve vibes from our friends on here. Its in the mind, if you want to you will, but dont kid yourself - its not easy its hard. Life is hard but hey, hard work always pays off, especially with weight loss. I wish you all the best on your journey, the important thing to do is stick at it and when the positive good results start coming in you will be so proud of yourself. XXXX

Jezebel9

When I was very depressed, I ate carbs like a lunatic. I had been steadily getting worse, year after year until I didn't realize that my habits were not my own... they creeped up on me, slowly, and in time the symptoms of depression seemed more like my personal failings than a disease. Even on the rx meds, I was sick- just not killing myself... barely on this side of life- but not really alive.
I ate because it was pleasurable, and I was otherwise not feeling any pleasure.
I ate out of craving, boredom, habit... to celebrate... I did it mindlessly. I could eat something and not be able to tell you what I ate 5 minutes later.

I became determined to recover my life and the real me, with my body and my health.
I made radical changes- see my profile page for more about that.
I was never able to stick to any plan I had set for myself- over and over I would fail, cry, mourn, look at the wreckage and pick up the strong bits again to begin again.

I wish you the best.

Briantime

You don't want to be fat any more than someone wants to be an alcoholic.

I have actually given this a lot of thought as it relates to my own weight struggles. Food has always given me something that I wanted at THAT MOMENT. I think few legal things give you a quick shot of endorphins more than a pint of ice cream. It makes you feel good, for a little while...but those good feelings get replaced with feelings of shame and self loathing which drive you to want to feel good again; back to food. It's a vicious, self-destructive cycle that is damn difficult to break out of. Those that have never struggled with their weight don't get it.

My best advice is, as others have said: Set yourself a short term, reachable goal. Take weight loss out of the theoretical and make it a reality. The first bit of time is the hardest. You CAN change and you want to or you would not be here.

Best of luck to you!


Brian

MoveTheMountain

You don't want to be fat any more than someone wants to be an alcoholic.

I have actually given this a lot of thought as it relates to my own weight struggles. Food has always given me something that I wanted at THAT MOMENT. I think few legal things give you a quick shot of endorphins more than a pint of ice cream. It makes you feel good, for a little while...but those good feelings get replaced with feelings of shame and self loathing which drive you to want to feel good again; back to food. It's a vicious, self-destructive cycle that is damn difficult to break out of. Those that have never struggled with their weight don't get it.

My best advice is, as others have said: Set yourself a short term, reachable goal. Take weight loss out of the theoretical and make it a reality. The first bit of time is the hardest. You CAN change and you want to or you would not be here.

Best of luck to you!


Brian

^^This^^, but also, try to identify and work on the psychological triggers that send you to food. You need to retrain your reflexes and replace your current/old habits with new ones. You can definitely get there.

Telugammayi87

It's hard! Very hard! My "cure" was doing Intermittent Fasting.... look more into Intermittent Fasting helping food addiction. Honestly... 2 days ago I had a Samoa Crunch Bar sitting on my desk all day and I wasn't even tempted. You sound like EXACTLY how I was.... Even after losing 90lbs I was still addicted to food... finally after only 2 weeks of doing the Intermittent Fasting, I have relief!!!

skinnybearlyndsay

No, you don't want to be fat. I think you are addicted to those sugary things and I know it is incredibly difficult to give them up. Start by trying to substitute things. I know when I crave things like peanut butter and chocolate, I have a serving of those things to nip the craving and then eat something super healthy for my body.

It took me a while to get over the whole "am I meant to be fat" thing. It doesn't happen overnight and it is a constant struggle. Like what others have said, you may want to look in to counseling to help you. Lord knows we all need a support system.

dusty_712001

You don't want to be fat, but the process is difficult. I believe you used the word addict in your post (forgive me if I am mistaken). Food is an addiction just like any other, but unlike the others, you need food to survive. They don't tell alcholics to drink reasonable amounts several times a day and then stop at that, they tell them to avoid it altogether. Unfortuately that is not an option with food which is why I believe dealing with food addiction is more difficult in some ways


Edited to say, although its not easy, its definately worth the effort. Each day is a new day. Don't dwell on yesterday. Remember you havent failed if you havent quit trying.

moxiecowgirl

It sounds like you've hit the first step dead-on: recognizing the problem and identifying what your feelings are about food. Now, as some of the previous posters have said, you need to identify the emotions that you're covering up with food, and learn to develop a strategy. This is the scary, ugly part. I don't believe for a second that you want to be fat...you just don't seem to really know how NOT to be fat. Make sense?

You say cooking and baking make you happy...that's valid. Would cooking a healthy recipe or finding ways to bake a treat with less fat/sugar/calories/whatever provide the same happiness, or is it more that not paying attention to all that is what makes you happy? I ask because I know one of my favorite things so far has been learning how to make all my favorites leaner and more adapted to my own personal food guidelines. It's been great fun! Maybe that would work for you too.

moonspells

I've done the same thing...over and over. Now, here I am, on this journey for the last time at almost 41 years old.
Bottom line is that you will do it when you're ready and not one minute before that. The moment that happens that makes you ready is different for everyone...and it may not even be a hitting-rock-bottom, dramatic thing at all.
When you're ready, try to just make small changes you can live with and maintain. Like, don't swear off sweets forever because you probably can't do that for the rest of your life (and I'm not sure why you'd want to!). Instead, start by limiting it to a smaller portion of whatever you want. Then you can gradually work up to where you are substituting healthier versions of the things you love.
Best of luck...when you put your mind to it, you CAN do it! )

xcption

You go girl! That's actually a huge step! (Cutting out the Pepsi!)

myfitnessnmhoy

Maybe yes, maybe no.

I know it took over 20 years and a health scare to finally get me off my pasty white and off the white pastries and get my diet and my body into shape. It wasn't fun, but it sure beat the crap out of dying. And my life is so much more fun now, I look back at 12-year-old fat me that could have lost the weight over 30 years ago and given me a good body to enjoy the best potential years of my life, and I want to kick his lazy little fat *kitten*.

I have a good friend who had a funny, but telling, incident that triggered his first step down the path. He's a cop, and loves donuts. Yeah, yeah, stereotype, but true. He could go through a box of donuts like a starving cheetah on acid goes through a pack of wildebeests. I've seen it. There's a HUGE snarfing sound, a flying of crumbs, and then silence... box still wiggling gently in its final throes of realizing it's empty, him looking for another box.

He told me one day that if he saw a box of donuts and witnessed me pouring poison onto a single donut in the box, he knew he'd still eat the whole box.

One day, he goes into the precinct office, and there are 4 dozen donuts sitting on the table for an upcoming precinct meeting (meeting was happening in 20 minutes). At the risk of not only his health, but his career, he proceeds to stand in front of the boxes and EMPTIED ALL FOUR boxes in about 2 minutes. The Chief walks in about the time he finished, swore, and set him up with a meeting with the staff psychiatrist that day.

His case ended up in a stomach belt, 250 pounds of weight loss, many sessions to deal with the forced binge-purge that the stomach belt forced him into (he's still eat lots, but didn't have the stomach to hold it so he'd throw it up), and now a healthy guy who can run 5Ks. Not competitively, but compared to 390-pound him, pretty damned well.

Another friend and co-worker of mine, not nearly so overweight, had his "defining moment" when he came over to my house and ate all my leftover Halloween candy the day after Halloween in one sitting. All seven pounds of it. I said not a word, but he knew I was losing weight, and came into my office the next morning asking if I could coach him to walking the three mile route I did. He's now running competitive 10Ks, and bicycles everywhere.

Some people do well with a scare that happens to someone else. Some of us need a scare ourselves.

So you might need a good scare. I hope you don't.

You can do it. Don't be afraid to get some help.

Mayraapoppp

I don't think you feel guilty every night or are even on this site if you did want to be fat. Most of the time we feel like we do want to lose weight but were not motivated enough. You mentioned willpower and that has everything to do with how motivated you are. Also the whole 'change' part of it. You are used to eating the way you do and are COMFORTABLE with giving in to temptation. If you get used to eating healthy, having a cookie will be like having a carrot right now. It's different. You will get used to eating healthy just like you got used to giving in to cravings. It's the hardest at first., Remember once you can do something for 30 days straight, it becomes a habit. You will love the feeling healthy foods give you (more energy and mental health) You will give up your addiction of food to an addiction of losing weight. It only takes the first steps and you're in. It will be extremely hard, but nothing good ever comes easy. Don't give up, look for GOOD motivation that will keep you going and you will be amazing! Remember, yesterday you said "tomorrow".

waldo56

It sounds like there is an imbalance between the body image you wish to have of yourself, the lifestyle you've chosen, and the diet you eat.

You only have to change one of the 3.

1) Change the body image you wish to have of yourself - This is the easy way. Find it within yourself to be happy being fat and don't worry about it. Since this requires no actual effort, and instead some mental handiwork, this can be immediately accomplished. But most people are reluctant to give up on their hopes and dreams, this is quite hard to do, but people get fat and are unhappy about it by simply ignoring this issue.

2) Change the lifestyle you've chosen - If you don't want to change your diet and want to reach yoru body image goals, its going to take some elbow grease. The lifestyle of sitting on the couch and watching TV is not really compatible with eating the diet you want to eat and the body image you want to have. Change instead to a fitness based lifestyle with very heavy exercise, and you'll reach your body image goals without changing your diet (eventually).

3) Change yoru diet - Difficulty here appears to be the issue. Yes you can have have a good body image without changing your lifestyle if you change your diet to mesh with your image and lifestyle goals.

Obviously you can reach your goals easier by making smaller incremental changes to 2 or 3 of these items instead of just one. If you love baking, perhaps exploring lower calorie baking options is a good step to take.

One point of view that is epsecially helpful is that appearance is a consequence of fitness. Pick an appearance you wish to have and then alter your lifestyle where the appearance you want will result. If you want to look like someone who runs marathons, train to run marathons. If you want to look like a Crossfiter, join Crossfit. If you wish to look like a model, research the lifestyle and diet of a model and make it your own.

benegesserit

I don't believe this "you're fat because you psychologically want to be" stuff.

In my experience, eating carbs over about 50, 75 gm/day leads to craving sweets. So I'm trying low-carb (40-75 gm/day, depending on the day.) I eat virtually no grains and don't add any sugar, so my carbs come from fruit, dairy, nuts, and vegetables.

Also, I've found that even looking at pictures of food can make me crave it (like food ads.)

Good luck - I know it is hard. But in my opinion, food cravings are physiological, not a matter of "will power," and it works better when you can find out what triggers them, and avoid those things.

returntorural

Consider that it's not your body that craves sweets and fast foods. It is your mind. Taste, smell, feeling, all those are sensory experiences lived through the mind. To change our behaviors, we must change our minds. To change our minds we first need to learn to sit with those uncomfortable feelings of craving and desire that drive us to eat. I wish you luck on your journey. We're on the same road, for sure. Feel free to friend me if you'd like and you can stand my new-agey train of thought.

iWaffle

It's hard! Very hard! My "cure" was doing Intermittent Fasting.... look more into Intermittent Fasting helping food addiction. Honestly... 2 days ago I had a Samoa Crunch Bar sitting on my desk all day and I wasn't even tempted. You sound like EXACTLY how I was.... Even after losing 90lbs I was still addicted to food... finally after only 2 weeks of doing the Intermittent Fasting, I have relief!!!

I think there really is something to IF. A group at our church fasts on Monday's up through lunch and fasting during that time even though I get plenty of calories later does seem to make a difference in weight. Additionally I have an afternoon snack already set aside and logged as calories but I don't let myself eat it till after 3:00 in the afternoon no mater how hungry I feel. It's sort of my way of letting my body know who is in control. It's like a mental exercise to keep you strong during times like this morning when the break room was full of donuts. They looked good but I didn't need them so I just didn't get one. I always think "Eat to live, not live to eat."

Rory_123

Treat your food issues as if it were an addiction. If you can afford it, seek treatment. The binge eating you are describing sounds more like an addict "falling off the wagon" as you say, than someone who "wants" to be fat. Does a heroin addict "want" to be a heroin addict? Obviously not. Many of the self-help books geared toward substance abuse can be useful for those who overeat. If you feel that out of control, might be worth a try.

AZKristi

Start logging again, even on days you make bad choices. Enter EVERYTHING. Seeing the numbers in black and white about how much you are over consuming (especially the if every day were like today, you'd weigh _____ in 5 weeks) may really need to sink in. As a friend of mine says, Awareness is Prosperity.

Reneefit135

You do not want to be overweight, none of us do. Its just like you said its a food addiction so you have the vicious cycle of behavior that you can't seem to stop. I will tell you what I've been telling myself. We have to learn to suffer through this and that some days are going to be uncomfortable with tears. When a person addicted to alcohol or drugs come off they go through major withdrawal. We have to accept that stopping some of the bad habits will be painful both physically and emotionally. Try going on a all fruit and veggie cleanse for just 3 days or 1 week whatever you can do. Take some days off and just be at home or somewhere that you are happy and comfortable. You will be irritable and cry and maybe even feel sick but it WILL help you gain control of yourself and start cleaning away the cravings. Read up on juicing and raw foods, get a new food processor or something to be excited about and go for it. Just take a day at a time and meal at a time. Don't let one slip up ruin your whole day. Hang in there, i am right there with you, its tough but we can do it.

SteelLady17

Because eating is rather convenient in our society, we think of it like a social activity or past time rather than a necessity. So, it's a mental game just as much as the physical side of counting calories and exercising. If you find your will power to be lacking, you may want to consider mental conditioning, including hypnosis.

nancyaaa

http://www.drozfans.com/dr-ozs-advice/dr-oz-break-your-addiction-to-sugar-fat-chromium-picolinate/

sheltielover

Start logging again, even on days you maouke bad choices. Enter EVERYTHING. Seeing the numbers in black and white about how much you are over consuming (especially the if every day were like today, you'd weigh _____ in 5 weeks) may really need to sink in. As a friend of mine says, Awareness is Prosperity.

I agree with this- that was a huge eye opening for me. And now I'm 40 lbs down. I take each day as it comes. Do I have days/nights where I just eat and fall off the wagon? Yes. But the difference now is that I get right back on the next day

You can do this!!

Aimee

marie_cressman

Hi
You don't want to be fat - But you don't want to be slim enough to do something about it.
Life's over before we know it. So choose your own route.
Good luck
Ian

I honestly think this is very insightful.

I struggle at times. With still having about 23lbs I WANT to lose (putting me at 160lbs), I think part of me doesn't want it enough to really buckle down again. I am happy here at 183ish pounds. I am comfortable. I am confident. I feel good here. This is where I've been for quite some time now. My nutritionist thinks that my body is just happy here for now because I've lost a significant amount of weight (I recently saw a nutritionist so she can go over my food log and tell me where I should make changes because my ultimate goal is to be healthy now).
To the poster who said "change is uncomfortable" you are very right also. It IS uncomfortable and sometimes people just aren't ready to change. Make small changes so it's not overwhelming. That's what I did when I began. Good luck!

Salasel

"Today his history Tomorow is a mystery" You cant change what you have already done. All you can do is make better decisions now and moving forward. Find foods that you like that can take the place of what your eating that you shouldnt. Go for short walks and build on that time. Small adjustments in your daily life can make huge impacts on if your sucessfull or not. No one wants to be fat but you need to keep in mind you have to choices. Healthy food or meds of all kinds to keep you going. I always choose healthy food every time

_Mimi_

I could have written this. Well, except I always knew I didn't want to be fat...I just didn't want it enough. Now I do!

What FINALLY worked for me was to cut out ALL artificial sweeteners....no diet soda. No sweetener in my coffee. I drink it black now. Me! I drink black coffee! It's amazing how many calories a day I was adding to my coffee with the creamer...and how I was feeding my addiction with the artificial sweetener.

I went on a 21 day plan where the only sweetener I added, and only very limited amounts, was honey. By limited, I mean a couple teaspoons a day in my shake or yogurt. After about a week I noticed my cravings lessening. Now they are all but gone. Do I sometimes want something sweet? Of course, and eventually I will have a bite here and there. But do I have that over-whelming "need" for chocolate, cookies, cake, ice cream? Nope!

I think the most surprising thing to me was that it almost seems the artificial sweeteners were what was really feeding my addiction.

I'll be anxious to hear if you decide to cut those out...and, like any addict, I find it best to take it one day at a time (or sometimes, 1 hour or even second at a time) Just say, I will not add any sugar or fake stuff TODAY! Or, to this meal...or to this cup of coffee. If I can do it, YOU CAN do it too!!

shivles

Sugar is extremely addictive, if you can break the sugar addiction then you will do much better. It will only take a few days but if you eat no sugar at all for a few days then slowly reintroduce good sugars (like fruit) you will notice the cravings for sweet food disappear. Like any addiction though it will be a horrible few days so be prepared. I used to eat chocolate/ biscuits/ cake every day until I did this, now the thought of a sugary chocolate cake turns my stomach because I'm not used to such sweet food. Good luck, I'm sure you can do it!