Do I want to be fat?

MiniCooperDeb

I think you have a couple of things going on (I'm a lot like you). First of all, there is a real, physical addiction thing with carbohydrates. Those sweets, breads, rice, pasta things. When you cut back or eliminate those, your body does go through a kind of withdrawal, I think. It took me a couple of weeks to get past that.

Then comes the mental/emotional challenges. I enjoy cooking new recipes, too. Best thing I've found is not to deny yourself the pleasure of cooking. Instead, look for healthier recipes to try. You still get the joy of cooking. For those who have no problem popping a frozen meal into the microwave, they just understand the rush, the satisfaction of cooking. (Thank goodness there's some of us out there, or we'd have no good restaurants!)

You may have some childhood issues to deal with, too. For me, I grew up in a family who always emphasized not wasting food. I got it into my psyche that there wasn't enough food and I'd better eat while there was some, because you never knew if there would be any more. Now that I understand that issue, in order to stop eating even if there is food left, is to say to myself over and over, "there will always be another meal". I hope some of this makes sense to you and that you can successfully get yourself "back on the wagon". MFP is a great support tool for you to use!

bubmaster

many times in my past I felt I wanted to stay overweight,felt like I was protecting myself,maybe denial,have no idea,guess i just gave up,but fitnesspal is helping me so much,makes me feel i'm not alone with this weight problem.

kwin91

I think once you find that you like eating healthy and start putting good stuff into you, you'll feel the difference in your body. I didn't really crave bad things, I just like to eat when I was bored. But then I found that the better I ate and the less I ate my body felt new again. Like a new shiny me.. I feel like I hit rock bottom when I stepped on the scale and saw my weight for the first time in years. That number haunts me and will always-so I never looked back.

You need to find a motivation like that to keep you going-even if it takes putting up post its all over the walls and cabinets!

pkw58

I could have written this. Well, except I always knew I didn't want to be fat...I just didn't want it enough. Now I do!

What FINALLY worked for me was to cut out ALL artificial sweeteners....no diet soda. No sweetener in my coffee. I drink it black now. Me! I drink black coffee! It's amazing how many calories a day I was adding to my coffee with the creamer...and how I was feeding my addiction with the artificial sweetener.

I went on a 21 day plan where the only sweetener I added, and only very limited amounts, was honey. By limited, I mean a couple teaspoons a day in my shake or yogurt. After about a week I noticed my cravings lessening. Now they are all but gone. Do I sometimes want something sweet? Of course, and eventually I will have a bite here and there. But do I have that over-whelming "need" for chocolate, cookies, cake, ice cream? Nope!

I think the most surprising thing to me was that it almost seems the artificial sweeteners were what was really feeding my addiction.

I'll be anxious to hear if you decide to cut those out...and, like any addict, I find it best to take it one day at a time (or sometimes, 1 hour or even second at a time) Just say, I will not add any sugar or fake stuff TODAY! Or, to this meal...or to this cup of coffee. If I can do it, YOU CAN do it too!!

I experienced something very similar. I cut out artificial sweeteners entirely. I ditched diet soda entirely in 2005, and I find that I get satisfied with my caffeine intake after two cups of coffee in the morning, and one ice tea in the afternoon. Water at meals. It absolutely helps. This year I went cold Turkey on mindless carb eating … don't crave bread, pasta, or rice anymore.

emmeylou

My doctor is very big on the whole "carbs are addictive" spiel. I believe there is some truth to it, just based on my own personal experience. According to him, carbs are just as addictive to some people as drugs like cocaine or heroine. For me, my doc told me to go super low-carb. It sucked for a week and then was great. I guess my point is to not beat yourself up so much because carbs can literally be addicting. You aren't making it up. And it affects people differently.

After awhile without them, they start to not taste so great and you want them less and less. It's a struggle though.

http://www.details.com/style-advice/the-body/201103/carbs-caffeine-food-cocaine-addiction

This article has a lot of the same points that my doctor brought up. I did not have a chance to check the validity of the author or his sources so take it with a grain of salt if you do read it.

ScarlettIsSpiffing

Hiya
I'm gonna share what someone in my friends list posted this morning, I needed to hear it & hope it helps you decide too, good luck whatever you decide x

"It's not that some people have willpower and others don't .... It's just that some people are ready to change .... and others are not .... So you have to decide for yourself which one you are ... are you ready to change your ways and start living the dream or are you going to sit there and wish you had the willpower to do more ???? The bottom line is ... we have the power to create our own destiny ... if your willing to put in the hard work, if you have determination ... and you " think " you can ... nothing can stop you ! Just grasp the opportunity my friends ... allow yourself to exceed your expectations and then you can relish in the results ! C'mon ... get up and get moving"

RobynMWilson

It's not that you want to be fat...just that you don't want to be thin enough to stick with it. My pain was great enough that I wanted nothing more than to lose weight. I still remember how I felt when I was losing weight and how determined I was and this was over 20yrs ago. JUST KEEP TRYING!! The miracle will happen for you! Surround yourself with as many like-minded people as possible! I'm sending a friend request.

steadk

There are some aspects of this topic that could've been taken out of my own life. I LOVE food... I'm always looking at trying to spice things up, change them around, experimenting with food... and I LOVE cooking.. I also HATE the way I look/feel/live etc. I've struggled with staying with a program for far too long, and I only have myself to blame. However, I have to turn my love of food onto a different path.. While I love cooking, i need to love trying to find healthier recipes to cook, and how to keep me and my family healthy. slowly but surely, our food choices are getting better, i can't eat quite as much as i used to. Just tackle one thing to change at a time, until you're comfortable, then go one to another. You CAN do this, you WILL do this. I'm here for support if you need it

nomoreexcuses83

I just read about this! I subscribe to WebMD daily emails and this is what was in my inbox for today:

http://www.webmd.com/diet/ss/slideshow-sugar-addiction?ecd=wnl_wlw_



In my personal experience I have stopped buying chocolate, candy, and other goodies for around the house. It is extremely difficult, but I'm the type of person that if it is not there and I have to go through the trouble of having to go get it, I usually end up just having something else. I am to the point that I am actually craving good food now! One of my favorites is frozen strawberries, 1/2 frozen banana, container of greek yougurt, 1 tbsp honey, and water (depending on how thick or thin you want it). It makes a huge portion and tastes like a strawberry milkshake! I still do indulge in my cold stone creamery every now and then, but my body is used to not having that much sugar any more and it actually makes me sick after eating it!

Good Luck!

dad106

When I first started this journey, I knew that I didn't want to be fat... but I knew that if being thin meant that I had to stop eating what I loved, that I wasn't going to stick with it for very long. So I found ways to eat what I love, and still be thin.

What helped me in the beginning was pre-logging. I would think about what i wanted for the day, and then I would log it. Based on what it turned out to be, I could then make changes here and there to make it fit into my calorie goal/macros. I also knew how much work I was going to have to put in that day if I wanted to eat as planned.

What also helped me is measuring things and see what a serving of XYZ looked like. Once I measured and plated it, I could see that it was plenty of food, and that I didn't need anymore even though I sometimes wanted more.

Eventually it will click.. and you will get the willpower. It just doesn't happen over night.. and you have to keep trying until it does.

mmarcy7

You might want to read the book Wheat Belly, it has some good info in it about how it may be wheat that causes some food addiction. Sugar/High Fructose Corn Syrup too. It's not your fault, but it totally sucks, I've been there. My answer was switching to a Paleo/Primal way of eating. It may not be for everyone, but it has helped me turn my life around.

Do you exercise? That could help too. If depression is part of the problem, exercise helps. Also, if you are too full from overeating, you can't exercise, so becoming more active makes you try to control yourself more. Plus, if you get lots of exercise you CAN eat more, just try to replace the junk with quality calories.

You can also still cook great stuff, just look for healthier recipes.

mamasmaltz3

I think a better question to ask yourself is "Do you want to have diabetes, high blood pressure, joint problems, a shortened life span, etc...?". These are all things that I see in my family. All of the people in my family suffer with these issues. Thank the Lord I don't have them yet. But, i was well on my way. I was the heaviest person in the room a lot of times. That is a terrible feeling. My Mom has multiple health issues all of which could be eased by weight loss. Unfortunately her health has deteriorated to a point that physical activity is near impossible. When I put myself in her shoes I can feel how hopeless she must feel. As her daughter, I feel hopeless to help her and as a mother of two daughters myself, I feel motivated to never let them feel the same way. I have over a hundred pounds to lose to get to my goal weight. If you are not there, trust me, you don't want to get there. None of that food that you love so much is worth your life. Start moving. All you have to do is start. And tomorrow, start again. The day after that start again, and again and again. Each day is a new day and a gift that you have been given. We are never guaranteed tomorrow.

shariTN

Lots of good advice here, esp the baby steps. I know that this is hard to believe, but YOUR TASTE CAN CHANGE!!! I look at food now that I used to love and they turn my stomach. I used to live off pizza, french fries, fried chicken, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream and burgers. I still eat some of that stuff, but now I LOVE LOVE LOVE my fruits and veggies. If someone had told me this years ago I would have told them they were crazy! It was SIMPLE, but NOT EASY. Follow the advice here that you can and trust me it can happen. I went cold turkey and it was hard, but the results were quicker. If you take in baby steps the progress may be slow, but it is better than no progress. Bite the bullet and go for it. YOU CAN DO THIS.

sparklelioness

You dont have to give up good tasting food, or baking and trying new recipes, because youre trying to lose weight and eat healthy. One of my favorite things to do is look for healthy, good tasting recipes and try them out. Once a week i go to Whole Foods and get cool stuff like coconut flour, gluten free flour, coconut sugar, ect, to use in my new recipes. For instance, cottage cheese and oat flour blueberry pancakes-thats what I'm making next. This way, you not only get to shop, and bake, and eat something yummy, you get to feel good about yourself after, too, forveating healthy, instead of enjoying the cooking and eating, and then when the last bite's eaten, feeling awful about yourself for having blown your diet.m

You should try it-find a couple healthy recipes that look good, and make them

essjay76

What feels better to you? Don't get me wrong, I love both good food and also looking and feeling good too... it's a matter of finding that balance.

You don't have to take yourself from one extreme to another. Think about all your hard work and then how much it would suck to reverse all that.

If you love to cook and bake, no need to restrict yourself from doing that... find a way to budget it into your eating.

essjay76

By the way, I LOVE to cook and discover new recipes, ingredients, etc. What's fun is finding creative ways to add flavor without all the unnecessary fat, sugar, sodium, etc. There are SO many tasty ways you can make delicious meals that are good for you... that in itself is a fun activity and challenge. Broaden your horizens, expand your palate... you can still eat well and cook yummy food! Good luck

LifeJacketWaterJogger

I think this might work, since you like to eat don't try to stop eating! Do this, go online and find low fat ways to make the same foods you are eating now! This way you can still eat as much as you are now but with less fat, less sugar and less sodium which in time will still give you some weight loss. Trifles are awesome way to makes dessert and the taste is awesome, there are so many variations out there, you can use angel food cakes or fiber one brownies and muffins to make them. Food itself is not necessarily bad, sometimes it the way it is prepared, try this sweetie and I know this can work for you! Please look for low fat, ways to make any dessert you like there are millions of choice on line that you will love! God bless!!

Rockmyskinnyjeans

I, too, am a food addict. I have to find a happy medium in there because I also want to look good, be healthy, be in the healthy BMI range, and live a long life. I wasn't going to do that when I was still "fat". There's no need to take away every good thing you like to eat, just find ways to fit it in to your daily allowance. That's what I did. I'm losing weight without deprivation. It's the one thing I've found that finally works for me. I sent you a friend request.

GaglianiGirl

I feel ya. I LOVE food too. High fat cheeses, cookies, chocolate, chips, pasta, fries, anyhing cooked in butter, soda... but the good news is that you'll never have to live a life totally free of these things. I have been overweight my whole life and tried various ways to lose weight. It was always a failure before it began. Set backs, cheat days and temptations always felt like failure to me. I also didn't know what I should be eating or how much, so I would feel guilty about everything I did eat, good or bad. I thought skinny people just starved and never ate anything that tastes good, so I'd go that route. Eventually, I'd be too hungry to keep it up and binge, which in my mind, meant it was over and I was destined to be fat. This time, I know I will be successful. My husband and I have put a lot of time and research into what to eat and discovered what a good portion size is. I feel good about what I am putting in my body most days, and when a cheat day or birthday party comes along now and I indulge, I have learned to savor those foods, enjoy them and know that it'll come along again, just not tomorrow and not everyday. The next day, I wake up amd start fresh with my healthier diet. I still don't eat perfect and I'm sure plenty of people could criticize my food diary, but I have lost 50lbs and still going strong. I'm learning more everyday, eating all day, and feeling satisfied. Knowledge is power. Learn as mch as you can and eat right 80% or more of the time and know that now and then you get a treat. It's helped me not long for those treat foods all the time. When I see someone eating them, I don't feel jealous or deprived bc I know if I want I can also have it sometimes. An incredible thing that has happened to me is that sweets now taste sweeter, and natual sweets like berries now taste like heaven. Anyways, I don't know if that was any help, but for me, it was all about the change of mind set. That was the hard part. Now that I have that down, this feels easy!

angiezturn

Honestly, from what everybody has said,they are all right.
I had over 50 pounds to lose in the past month I've lost 10 and can't be happier.
First, you have to want it. I don't mean that in a passive way. I mean you REALLY have to want it. I am now to the point there is literally no turning back. I saw a poster in my gym that said "Health is a war, welcome to the front line". If you don't see this as a challenge your not ready. As soon as you realize this will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, you are ready. It takes a special emotional realization for this to happen. There are no victims. If you still consider yourself a victim, your not ready. It's about taking control again, fighting for yourself, fighting for your health, struggling with bad days and getting your *kitten* back up brushing yourself off and doing it again, and again and again. Your worth it!!

ingalynn

Take baby steps. My first step is cutting out Pepsi. That was all I ever drank. I was drinking almost a 12 pack a day. I am on day four of half a can with dinner, just because I love the taste. To some that might be barely a step, to others that might be inconceivable. You have to pick a baby step that works for you.



^^This. It is a really hard path to make such a dramatic change to one's lifestyle. Some people can go cold turkey...cut out all the bad all the time. That didn't work for me. Baby Steps. Find one thing to change. When you have that under control, find another. But remember that this is also a slow path. Be patient. Good Luck

natalie412

Of course you don't. Food is just what makes you feel good. You have to get to a point where other things are more important to you. Something just clicked for me, but it was also being disciplined long enough to create new habits.

I still love food, but I see it more as fuel now. I want healthy (but very tasty) food that will fuel my running and working out and my life in general. It was really getting into exercise that truly made the permanent changes in regards to food. I would really encourage you to try to find something you enjoy exercise-wise. For me, it started with some video workouts (30DS, Ripped in 30) and then I progressed to C25K and now I am a runner and I do kettlebell workouts. I find that being disciplined in working out makes me want to eat better. I feel so great, I want to choose food that makes me feel great too!

carebear7951

You don't want to be fat any more than someone wants to be an alcoholic.

I have actually given this a lot of thought as it relates to my own weight struggles. Food has always given me something that I wanted at THAT MOMENT. I think few legal things give you a quick shot of endorphins more than a pint of ice cream. It makes you feel good, for a little while...but those good feelings get replaced with feelings of shame and self loathing which drive you to want to feel good again; back to food. It's a vicious, self-destructive cycle that is damn difficult to break out of. Those that have never struggled with their weight don't get it.

My best advice is, as others have said: Set yourself a short term, reachable goal. Take weight loss out of the theoretical and make it a reality. The first bit of time is the hardest. You CAN change and you want to or you would not be here.

Best of luck to you!


Brian

Couldn't have said it better myself. I struggle with food addiction too. So many people had good advice. I say one day at a time. Just like a 12 step program. If you look at the over all picture of life as a whole it's overwhelming. To think of "the rest of your life" w/o the foods you crave!? So, just think: for today I am going to follow the plan. For today I will choose to workout (and do it first thing so that it's done and sets the mentality for the day--I know if I workout my food choices are 10x better! who wants to ruin/waste that hard work!?). Don't think about tomorrow in relation to food or weight. TODAY make your good choices. Life is made up of lots of todays.
Best wishes

joannbrunton

THIS REPLY IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!!

3LittleMonkeyMom

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, but I can truly say that I've become a food addict in the last few years. Every night I about how awful my food choices were or that I should have exercised more or drank more water. I convince myself that tomorrow I'll do better. But, I don't. I CRAVE sweets, ice cream and brownies, cakes, and cookies. I do crave other things, but not as much. I overeat a lot. Instead of having one burger and fries, I eat three. Sometimes I'm actually hungry and other times I eat because I like the taste of the food.

I did well tracking calories for about a month and lost some weight, but fell off the wagon so to speak and have been unable to get back on since. I've gained back all the weight and then some. While I feel good about myself when I'm losing weight and feel encouraged, I feel happy when I'm baking a new dessert or cooking a new recipe.

I guess my question is, do I somehow want to be fat because I have no willpower or strength to follow through and become a healthier person?

I don't think you want to be fat. I was in the same boat as you, still am in many ways. Cravings and binge eating were terrible for me. I am not suggesting you do this...just telling you what extreme measure I had to go to in order to keep my cravings in line.
I did a juice fast. 3 days of nothing but vegetable and fruit juices. I wanted to go longer, but I could not. However, I have not craved anything sweet since. When I eat a serving of ice cream with my kids, I don't automatically want more and more. I serve myself a portion and shove it back in the freezer. If I buy doughnuts, I don't eat them. Before I would have been crying and begging for one, but I just don't. I am not sure exactly what changed, or how but I feel it was the juice fast that helped me.

Good luck to you. You got a lot of wonderful advice from everyone here. You can do this.

Amryfal

i'm in the same boat as you, in many ways. i've always been heavy, so it's just the way i see myself (even now when i look in the mirror at 40 lbs. lost i can't see a difference, even though i know others can) and i have always loved baking...bread, cookies, fancy cakes, gourmet meals, the richer the better...making something is both an art and an instant gratification...and a goal i can visualize.

on the other hand, skinny is something i've never been and it's taking TIME and WORK and i hate it. when i'm putting the time and effort into losing weight, i think about it too much and then get upset because it's not as fast as making a batch of something yummy, you know? it's not that i want to be fat, it's that my willpower is not great and i'm working towards something i've never had, so i can't go, "oh, i was skinny in high school and i want to get back there." i just have to go, "i know this is going to be good when i'm done."

i've lost 40 lbs in the past year. it would have been more, but i gave up earlier this year and gained 12 lbs back - and realized that i was headed straight for my old weight again, so i stopped. i've lost all but a pound of that 12 and plan to keep going. to be honest, it's hard and i think it will continue to be hard, but after a year, i'm starting to adjust to smaller potion sizes. i'm just now getting comfortable with leaving food on my plate at the end of a meal (growing up in a "you must clean your plate!" house, that didn't adjust that by saying "start with really small portions!") and taking much smaller helpings of things. i've had to give up most of my baking, but i've substituted by being creative with healthy meals - how much can i make with the fewest calories and the best flavor?

it takes time, and it's hard. but i want the satisfaction of saying i've done it. i want to not worry that people are judging me because i'm fat. i want to be able to go to a buffet and eat just enough, not stuff myself (i avoid buffets like the plague right now, lol). i want to be able to ride my bike without pouring sweat. i want to go swimming and show off my tattoos without comparing my body negatively to everyone else's.

it's not about whether you have the willpower, but whether you can actualize the goal. find things that give you a sense of achievement, not just "i'll be healthier someday..." but "i want to lose 5 pounds. yay, i did it! i want to lose 5 more! i want to wear a smaller size! i want that pretty, fluffy dress that would look ridiculous on me right now!" keep it small to begin with, and then keep going.

good luck!

SueGremlin

From my perspective: In the beginning of this weight loss thing I've been doing for a year, I had to face some deep seated issues. I don't know if this is the case with you, but I *think* it jsut might have been for me.
I don't want people talking about my body. I don't want people looking at my body. I don't want people to give me advice or pointers about my body. (I think this was a result of my being sexually assaulted as a young teenager, but that's only one of many explanations).

Once I was able to face that, I was able to gather the courage to get smaller and look/feel better. It seemed a lot easier than I imagined once I shook the foundation of why I was so fat. It was insulation from the world, from opinions, from prying eyes and, most of all, from sexual attention. It is still a bit of a struggle, but understanding it makes it a lot more palatable when someone makes a comment on the size of my *kitten*.

I even had the courage to post progress photos of myself, and one trollish comment sent me spiralling to right back to where I was in the beginning. I am back to being happy with my new body but am still angry at that person--but have come to realize that this is his problem (and perhaps even his mental illness) and not mine. He is the one who has to live with himself.

Maybe this is all way beyond the scope of your question maybe not. Just offering up a different perspective. :flowerforyou:

kndlkai1

When I was very depressed, I ate carbs like a lunatic. I had been steadily getting worse, year after year until I didn't realize that my habits were not my own... they creeped up on me, slowly, and in time the symptoms of depression seemed more like my personal failings than a disease. Even on the rx meds, I was sick- just not killing myself... barely on this side of life- but not really alive.
I ate because it was pleasurable, and I was otherwise not feeling any pleasure.
I ate out of craving, boredom, habit... to celebrate... I did it mindlessly. I could eat something and not be able to tell you what I ate 5 minutes later.

I became determined to recover my life and the real me, with my body and my health.
I made radical changes- see my profile page for more about that.
I was never able to stick to any plan I had set for myself- over and over I would fail, cry, mourn, look at the wreckage and pick up the strong bits again to begin again.

I wish you the best.

This is me. To the letter. I am slowly finding my determination to do exactly what she did - recover my life. Good luck with your journey and feel free to friend request me. :-)

wewon

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, but I can truly say that I've become a food addict in the last few years. Every night I about how awful my food choices were or that I should have exercised more or drank more water. I convince myself that tomorrow I'll do better. But, I don't. I CRAVE sweets, ice cream and brownies, cakes, and cookies. I do crave other things, but not as much. I overeat a lot. Instead of having one burger and fries, I eat three. Sometimes I'm actually hungry and other times I eat because I like the taste of the food.

I did well tracking calories for about a month and lost some weight, but fell off the wagon so to speak and have been unable to get back on since. I've gained back all the weight and then some. While I feel good about myself when I'm losing weight and feel encouraged, I feel happy when I'm baking a new dessert or cooking a new recipe.

I guess my question is, do I somehow want to be fat because I have no willpower or strength to follow through and become a healthier person?

You're getting a lot of good advice here.

I've been in your shoes and one of the ways that I dealt with it was simply by avoiding a lot of the processed foods that were deeply ingrained into my diet.

When food is processed to the point of the nutrients and fiber being removed it makes crucial changes to it and how we eat. Not talking something magic here, in fact its pretty straight forward, foods without fiber are more caloric dense. Foods with less nutrients will leave your body craving and all the while you are still eating all of the calories.

They leave you with two choices 1) have a caloric deficit and feel hungry and deprived 2) Eat until you're satisfied and go waaay over on calories.

When you eat whole foods those choices aren't as difficult. Your body gets the nutrients that it needs in the quantities that it needs.