I really need other parents opinions!

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  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    Thank you all for your input. I can't really remember who said what, so I will try to repsond as best I can.

    I appreciate the teaches who have weighed in. I will make one more attempt to find a resolution with them. Unfortunately, I have gone up the chain of command in the past and as a result they keep them from being placed in the same classes. This is not helping and the principal says he doesn't believe in harsh punishments. I'm starting to think he just doesn't want to deal with it. He always says that girls always have trouble getting along, but he refuses to see the magnitude of this particular situation.

    Even if my daughter stays away from this girl on the playground this girl manages to infulence others to do her dirty work. It is so bad that my daughter has to spend recess in the view of lunchmoms and teachers at all times. It is ridiculous that MY daughter has to remain visible at all times to prove her innocense while the provoker is off spreading hate. The one time my daughter was out of view, this girl got 3 children to lie and say that my daughter pushed her. What actually happened was that she gave my daughter the finger then charged at her and pushed her into a wall. Rather than fight, my daughter walked away. But guess who got in trouble. After school her friend told her she was sorry for lying, but the bully told her too and she didn't want to make the bully mad at her too.

    And to ttthumper: I would love to talk to the mom, but it seems as though she is gone for good. Dad is the only one around, he is the one who gets called and comes in for meetings. I'm not sure what that is about. I do know when the sex stuff began, the latchkey mom and the social worker did speak to her. I really do feel sorry for this girl and I want her to get help.

    As far as appealing to her human side, my daughter tried that and she used it as more fuel to pick on her. This kid really has no fear of consequenses, obviously because she has none. What is even scarrier is the way she can manipulate an adult. The tears, the lies, all followed by a quick shift in her face to laugh at them. My daughter told me about it and I almost didn't believe it till I saw it myself. I hid around a corner and watched them in the latchkey room. It is frightening, like a psychopath in a movie. And shame on these adults for being taken by a 9 year old! If something doesn't happen to stop her, I hate to see what happens in her later years.
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
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    I work as investigator with child protective services. It has me concerned that the other little girl tells other students what her dad does to her mom. Is he doing that in front of the child??? You may wish to speak with the social worker at the school, just so that he/she may speak with the child to make sure its not anything that is happeneing to her (the child). The behavior issue with the other child seems to be caused by something. It may be nothing at all....but I have learned in my job that you can never dismiss anything that causes concern. Just a thought... good luck:flowerforyou:
    Teachers are required by law, to report to CPS any signs of child abuse, etc. Dad walking around naked and the child talking about "adult recreation" would be included. I've been in the system and a foster parent long enough to know that CPS's main goal is to keep families together and to work with families through parenting classes etc. Most children that are pulled from the home are placed back in the home once the parenting plan has been completed. With the exception of serious abuse-and I hate to say it but many of those cases have been returned to the home and slipped through the cracks.
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
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    Change schools, the child suicide rate is alarming in her age group. Go to the superintendents office and threaten a law suit because of the inaction on the part of his staff. Change schools immediately!
    Get CPS involved, naked daddy talk is an indication of worse things!
  • angiered
    angiered Posts: 169 Member
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    Have you tried calling a few private schools and asking about a work/study scholarship? You volunteer for the school, doing whatever they need done, in exchange for a full or partial scholarship. You might get lucky. It's always worth a shot.
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    Have you tried calling a few private schools and asking about a work/study scholarship? You volunteer for the school, doing whatever they need done, in exchange for a full or partial scholarship. You might get lucky. It's always worth a shot.

    I never thought of that. That is a really great idea!!! Thanks.
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    Today I was informed that two boys my daughters age raped two younger girls on the playground in my community. It is less than 100 yards from my front porch.

    Forget changing schools. I'm moving the heck out of this place. There seems to be a pattern around here. I am disgusted. I know those girls. So does my daughter, they have played together.:brokenheart:
  • Cindysunshine
    Cindysunshine Posts: 1,188 Member
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    I have a daughter the same age. I feel for you. We homeschool and have from day one. Your scenerio is one that I was afraid of and helped me make my decision to homeschool. Good luck . Cindy :heart:
  • angiered
    angiered Posts: 169 Member
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    OMGosh! That's horrible! I totally agree, time to get the hell outta dodge!
  • MTGirl
    MTGirl Posts: 1,490 Member
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    Wow Cullen - that is scary! Yep - I'm with you. I'd be gone. Good luck! I hope everything works out well. You are in my thoughts.
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
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    Today I was informed that two boys my daughters age raped two younger girls on the playground in my community. It is less than 100 yards from my front porch.

    Forget changing schools. I'm moving the heck out of this place. There seems to be a pattern around here. I am disgusted. I know those girls. So does my daughter, they have played together.:brokenheart:
    YIKES! Best of luck to you all.
  • Dalrae
    Dalrae Posts: 7
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    EVERY SCHOOL HAS AN SRO....IT IS A POLICE OFFICER THAT WORKS IN THAT SCHOOL AND A COUPLE OF OTHERS ARE ASSIGNED TO THEM AS WELL. GO TO THE PRINICIPAL OR CALL THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT AND GET THE SRO'S NUMBER. YOU CAN DISCUSS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM AND THEY WILL MEET WITH ALL OF YOU OR YOU CAN FILE AGAINST THEM. MY DAUGHTERS SCHOOL HAS A NO TOLORENCE POLICY AND THIS REALLY WORKS. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!
  • Georg
    Georg Posts: 1,728 Member
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    OK
    Now that's awful!
  • scrappinville
    scrappinville Posts: 3
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    OK I am the stupidiest person in the world... can't figure out how to post a question... but of course I can reply to a message... Help would be greatly appreciated! Obviously I am new to this site and its late and I am tired and don't have much energy to figure this out after working out... so PLEASE help!
  • Dalrae
    Dalrae Posts: 7
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    ALSO, TO ADD I WOULD INFORM CPS OF THE FATHER AND STEP-MOTHER'S SEXUALITY IN FRONT OF THE LITTLE GIRL. SHE WILL NEED SOME COUNSEL I THINK THIS IS FAR WORSE THAN ANYONE MAY REALIZE. :frown:
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
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    OK I am the stupidiest person in the world... can't figure out how to post a question... but of course I can reply to a message... Help would be greatly appreciated! Obviously I am new to this site and its late and I am tired and don't have much energy to figure this out after working out... so PLEASE help!
    I sent you a message with the directions. Good luck.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    If you pulled her out of that school and put her in another school, i don't think you would be teaching her that it is o.k. to run away when you can't get along with someone. I think you would help her understand that she is in a very unfair situation that that school is overlooking and sometimes you have to change your situation because you can't make any headway with the people who are supposed to be there to defend you and help you.

    I agree with the first reply you received.

    You have taught your daughter to tough it at, but at a certain point in life, we are sometimes forced to cut ties and move along. No need to torment yourself (or her) on principle. She has learned early that the world is a mean place, full of liars and evil people. She can still remain good and wholesome, even through all this.

    The only other thing I'd suggest is speaking once more with the principal and the teachers, letting them know in no uncertain terms this will not be tolerated. (You have probably done that.) You may want to look (just for threat's sake) into legal avenues against the school for allowing the bullying to continue, or even against this girl and her father for continuing this torment. Bullying has become a HUGE deal nationwide and is not taken lightly, especially when immature parents are doing it themselves!!!!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    ALSO, TO ADD I WOULD INFORM CPS OF THE FATHER AND STEP-MOTHER'S SEXUALITY IN FRONT OF THE LITTLE GIRL. SHE WILL NEED SOME COUNSEL I THINK THIS IS FAR WORSE THAN ANYONE MAY REALIZE. :frown:

    Yes. This little girl is gonna be messed up for life, methinks.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    Today I was informed that two boys my daughters age raped two younger girls on the playground in my community. It is less than 100 yards from my front porch.

    Forget changing schools. I'm moving the heck out of this place. There seems to be a pattern around here. I am disgusted. I know those girls. So does my daughter, they have played together.:brokenheart:

    :brokenheart: (speechless)
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    My internet was out for the entire day! OMG, I felt so disconnected:laugh:

    Update:
    I met with the teacher and my daughter got to tell the full story of what happened with me there. The teacher was shocked. I guess when this happened and she questioned the girls my daughter just gave up talking because she has gotten used to the direction it usually takes. There was so much against her that she just accepted that she wouldn't be heard.:brokenheart:

    Her teacher assured her that she would listen to her with an open mind. She also wants to know what is going on all the time and told her that she will do everything in her power to protect her safety. And she appologized that her friend lied and said she will address that issue seperately.

    Then I got to speak to her alone. I asserted that I WILL NOT tolerate another year of this. I made it very clear that the next time this child touched mine again, I will get the police involved and I will not wait to see if the school will do thier part. I told her to please relay that message to the principal and the other childs parents. She totally agreed with me, appologized for the way things have gone sofar, assured me that this girl has been warned to stay away and she will see to it that if she does it will be handled immediately.

    The very same day at lunch, this kid broke the rule less than 2 hours after being talked to by my daughters teacher. She sought her out in the lunch room and told her to keep her F***ing mouth shut! My daughter told the teacher, the teacher reacted immediately and has pulled the principal and social worker into the matter. We'll see what happens, but I feel more confident with this teacher. She was very concerned and not at all dismissive.

    I should also point out that the morning I met with the teacher this little girl stood in the doorway grilling me with her eyes as we walked down the hall. It was so creepy. I could tell she was waiting for me to look away so she could get my daughters attention. I met her gaze and did not look away to make sure she knew that I don't fall for her crap and she doen't scare me. But seriously, I wish I could show you a video or something. She creeps me out!
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    Today I was informed that two boys my daughters age raped two younger girls on the playground in my community. It is less than 100 yards from my front porch.

    Forget changing schools. I'm moving the heck out of this place. There seems to be a pattern around here. I am disgusted. I know those girls. So does my daughter, they have played together.:brokenheart:

    :brokenheart: (speechless)

    We have discussed new rules for outdoors play and the friends that come around. We are exploring activities and making friends outside of our community. We don't ride the bus anymore, I walk or drive her to school. I have just 2 really great neighbors who will always be on alert with me and we will look out for each others kids so that they are never really out of sight. I have the police on speed dial now and I am not afraid to call them for any reason no matter how small.

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