My boyfriend makes fun of me when I diet.

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becomingbeautifultoday
becomingbeautifultoday Posts: 131 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
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Replies

  • leojsivad
    leojsivad Posts: 124 Member
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    I'm going to make some observations here if that is ok.

    1. Your boyfriend probably doesn't diet and/or exercise.
    2. He is jealous of your attempts, and tries to sabotage you because it would make him look bad if he doesn't eat healthy as well.
    3. Eating crap is easier, and he likes that easiness.
    4. Find someone who supports you in your life's goals.

    So you're asking advice on how to sneak your lifestyle change in, not going to happen. Unless you can convince him to change, which is probably doubtful because of his apparent lack of respect for you, you will continue to be mocked.
  • JeffInBuckeyeNation
    JeffInBuckeyeNation Posts: 91 Member
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    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend. I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    By contrast....the woman I am seeing said something to me when I got started. She told me that she would never ask me to lose weight for her, and she hoped that she was not a factor in my decision because she cared for me no matter what size body I had. She is about 5 percent of the reason I'm trying to lose weight, but DAMN that felt good to hear.
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
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    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?

    Learn to eat ice cream and steak and lose weight and see if he's laughing then.
  • cpsunseri
    cpsunseri Posts: 9
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    Just curious, how are you dieting?
  • hhayes06
    hhayes06 Posts: 189 Member
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    I'm going to make some observations here if that is ok.

    1. Your boyfriend probably doesn't diet and/or exercise.
    2. He is jealous of your attempts, and tries to sabotage you because it would make him look bad if he doesn't eat healthy as well.
    3. Eating crap is easier, and he likes that easiness.
    4. Find someone who supports you in your life's goals.

    So you're asking advice on how to sneak your lifestyle change in, not going to happen. Unless you can convince him to change, which is probably doubtful because of his apparent lack of respect for you, you will continue to be mocked.

    I second this. Instead of trying to sneak in a diet, kick out your boyfriend. If he mocks you for trying to be healthier then what else does he mock you for? Kick him to the curb, kick start your diet and then when you reach your goal weight and look smoking hot then find him and show him what he missed out on.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
    How about just suck it up, and forget about his ridicule?
    He's used to gloating over your failure, so get in shape, replace him with a better man, then gloat back.
    He who laughs last laughs the best!:drinker:
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,835 Member
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    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?

    Learn to eat ice cream and steak and lose weight and see if he's laughing then.

    agree with this.

    Lifestyle change not a diet.
  • bubmaster
    bubmaster Posts: 90
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    just think about what he will say when you prove him wrong :smile:
  • foraubs
    foraubs Posts: 263 Member
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    Tell him (and yourself) that it's not a diet: it's a lifestyle. You have to believe it to live it and sustain it.
    If it's a big point of contention, don't push it on him but lead by example. Maybe he'll decide to join you.

    Best of luck.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    People who give others a hard time about dieting do it to validate themselves for eating garbage. It makes them feel 'right' by putting you down, so they don't have to change as well.

    I'm sure if you're in a serious relationship and you inform him that you are seriously trying to better your HEALTH, not just lose weight, he'll understand. Make it very clear that you're not 'dieting' but you're changing your lifestyle completely.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    First of all, its not a diet. Its a way of life. If you treat it that way, your way of eating wont stand out.

    As for your so called boy "friend", with friends like that..well, you know the rest of the saying.
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 841 Member
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    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend.

    I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    This is what I was thinking, too. I've known women who gained weight because they were in a bad relationship - then they stayed in that relationship because they thought no one else would want them. Terrible cycle! I don't know your boyfriend, but you don't need to put up with his crap. You tell him either he can support you or keep his mouth shut. If he can't do either, maybe it's time to go on your own for awhile.
  • mothsdammit
    mothsdammit Posts: 7
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    I think you need to just sit down with him and have a serious discussion about it. Yeah, he's not acting like a good boyfriend right now, but it's very possible that his reaction is due to faults of his own, insecurities and whatnot.

    You just need to have a serious conversation with him. Ask why he keeps trying to sabotage you, and tell him how it affects you. Besides, it's your life - why does he care if you even make the attempt at being healthier? Tell him that if he feels the need to get involved, you'd rather he be supportive.

    My recommendation is have a talk before you walk. Don't try to hide your desire to be healthier. There's nothing wrong with it.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    If your usual intake is junk, there's no real way to start eating healthier without making it obvious, especially if it's foods only you're eating.

    Yes you have a record of not following through, but I would sit down with your guy and tell him straight out that if he can't be supportive, he doesn't need to say a damned thing at all. Because it sounds like his negative attitude is what helps you give up so easily. Yeah you might've been thinking it on your own, but without a support system at home and someone else saying you'll fail you're more likely to.

    Also I think leojsivad is being a bit extreme with their comment. They're implying your boyfriend's trying to make you stay the way you are and to dump him for someone else. There's no calling for that and it's stupid to even consider.
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    Prove him wrong. Don't let him being negative be an excuse to give up. :)
  • pinkprincess1952
    pinkprincess1952 Posts: 194 Member
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    So does mine... He says that die is the first letters of diet for a reason.. lol
  • wjniii
    wjniii Posts: 110 Member
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    Seriously, if he really cared about you he would support you in your efforts to lose weight and be healthy. Keep the healthy life-style; lose this boyfriend. There are plenty others who will support you.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    See who's laughing when ur smoking hot and leave his *kitten*! It's fear, that's where his cruelty comes from. Basically he's got a case of the D-Bags. Lol
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
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    Sorry, but he sounds like a douche. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't support you in your efforts and puts you down about it? You deserve better. :)
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,919 Member
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    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend.

    I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    This is what I was thinking, too. I've known women who gained weight because they were in a bad relationship - then they stayed in that relationship because they thought no one else would want them. Terrible cycle! I don't know your boyfriend, but you don't need to put up with his crap. You tell him either he can support you or keep his mouth shut. If he can't do either, maybe it's time to go on your own for awhile.
    great anwers

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