My boyfriend makes fun of me when I diet.
Replies
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Just imagine how many things that would of have never been accomplished if we game up the first time we failed at it....you only fail when you give up tring0
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Tell him to go suck an egg!
Fried or hard boiled?
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This is what I hate about asking for advice online. First thing out of everyone's mouths is the ultimatum: "leave the moron." Oh yes let's give that advice because we were just told EVERY aspect of their relationship and how the OP is treated in every situation, day in day out. ...Oh wait, we weren't!
None of you guys are helping, seriously.0 -
Maybe he just feels insecure about the relationship, you know like if you lose weight and look that much better you will leave him for the next guy that starts blowing kisses your way. I wouldnt let his negativity hold you back from staying focused and getting to where you want to be.0
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I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
If you don't leave the idiot then what I would suggest is using his negativity as motivation. Show him that he is wrong!
and also keep coming on to here, make friends, make your diary public and people will comment on your progress giving you that extra boost of motivation
You can add me if you like! xx0 -
I will try my best to answer your question of how to go about "sneaking" your new diet/lifestyle in. I have a fiance who loves me very much (and I him), but let's face it...he's seen the "Oooh! I'm going to go on a diet and lose weight!" cycle a few too many times (with his grandma and mom, past girl friends, past female friends, and myself). We all start out well meaning and we are pumped about it. We go out and buy "healthy" foods that cost 5x as much as normal foods depending on what "diet" we are going on, and after a week or two we get sick of it and drop it. But, he also shows a little bit of resistance because he is my 30 year old man-child. He knows that I grocery shop and cook. He knows that if I decide to go on a juice cleanse...guess who else is going on a juice cleanse. If I decide that carbs are the devil, somebody else in the house can no longer eat carbs. So long story short, his trepidation is a small part due to my past failures but a HUGE part about his forced involvement in it.
So here's what I do:
1.) I buy him the foods he likes to eat. We have frozen pizzas in the freezer. We have soda and beer. I don't force him to eat anything he doesn't want to eat. Yea, sometimes I do force small changes on him (like refusing to buy white bread and only buying wheat. This isn't a huge deal though since he's never been so outraged to go to the store himself and buy different bread), but for the most part my diet/lifestyle isn't put onto him.
2.) I cook the same as I always have, I just make sure that I have a single serving of the casserole and not half the darn pan. We normally eat one meal a day together, so the other two are mine to eat as healthy/horrible as I want.
3.) I invite him to exercise with me, but sometimes I'm a little bit tricky about it (ie: "Hey, can we go down to the park quick and look for good photo spots for the wedding?" which turns out to be a nice mile or two stroll for us...he has no clue he's been juped into "exercising")
4.) I get one meal a week that I get to experiment with new recipes. Some turn out really well, and some I make a mental note never to attempt again. I really like the website: http://www.eat-yourself-skinny.com/ I usually don't tell him it's low-cal until after he's made up his mind whether he likes it or not. Good news is once it's "approved" I can work it into other days.
But my relationship is completely different than yours. Find out what his real objections are. Also, depending on what type of "diet" you are doing, he may have legitimate concerns as to the sustainability of it (there are a ton of fad diets that don't work). And keep in mind that most men are result driven. My fiance became so much more supportive once he started seeing results. He now has a list of calories for different beer so he can make "smarter choices". Small steps. Small steps.0 -
same with my ex so my doctor says take the word diet out of your vocbulary and start thinking on how to eat healthy, so for me i have been eating what i always eat just use a smaller plate and i have impemented fruits and apples golden delicious and oranges for my sweet, also no sodas and crystal light packages in my h2o and every friday i treat myself to cocolate, i have decided not to go overboard .0
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O.K. I looked at your past posts. You only have five . In one you are posting that he is giving you the wrong kind of attention and in another, not enough of the right kind of attention. But, don't hide it. Just do it. Don't quit. Eat the healthy food and get a healthy body. If you keep trying then eventually you will get it.You have to find it in yourself to overcome any thing that would stop you from getting healthy. Your boyfriends comments,The voice in your head, the taste buds that say yuck or a body that doesn't want to excercise. This is your baby and you'll be the one to rock it. I wish you the very best.0
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wow.. well for one thing MFP is freeeeeeeeee.. so no $$ issue there... and I vote you have a talk with him and
let him know you need someone to motivate you on your LIFETSTYLE change.. not a "diet" this is eating what you like/want
but much less... portions and all that.. and you shouldnt have to 'hide' eating different.. big deal.. its your choice YOUR body and YOUR decision.. not your boyfriends! he may even be a bit jealous in a weird way.. dunno0 -
I don't really think it's my place to judge whether you have a good boyfriend or not.
And I know that personally if my boyfriend is eating crap, sometimes I just eat crap too cos it's easy.
Perhaps don't make it out like you're full-on dieting, just that you want to eat a bit better/a bit healthier. It's probably a better mindset to have - a healthy change rather than a temporary diet!
Hope it works out!0 -
He sounds like a total ****. DTMA!0
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This is what I hate about asking for advice online. First thing out of everyone's mouths is the ultimatum: "leave the moron." Oh yes let's give that advice because we were just told EVERY aspect of their relationship and how the OP is treated in every situation, day in day out. ...Oh wait, we weren't!
None of you guys are helping, seriously.
Sometimes it helps to hear someone voice the unthinkable, even if it just fulfils a sense of anger at his behaviour. Obviously the OP isn't going to leave her BF based on comments on a weight loss forum!0 -
mine did the same thing the whole time we were together (4 years). i ended up gaining like 40 pounds over the years we were together. we broke up a month and a half ago and i have lost 16lbs. you just gotta surround yourself with positive people who will support and motivate you..sometimes that means getting rid of the ones that don't.0
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Perhaps your boyfriend is worried that you will get healthy and lose weight (and become HOT!) then leave him for someone else. My boyfriend said this to me when I first started. He was worried that I would leave him because he was no longer good enough for me.. He was so very wrong! Talk to him. Let him know that you aren't going to leave him. If he truely wants to be with you he should be supporting you, but there could be some underlying factor, maybe it's happened to him before with an ex or a mate. Start making choices like having fruit instead of chocolate, cutting back on sauces and things that are empty calories, have more veggies with dinner to keep you fuller for longer, find foods that you love that are healthy and can eat for snacks. Walk wherever possible, and ask your boyfriend to go with you. Go for a date to a park and just walk around, pack a picnic lunch with salads and healthy choices.
Most of all you need to make him see you are doing this to become healthy and fit.. Not just to become skinny or to look hot. Ask him to help you. Make it know that what he is currently doing is hurting you. If he is not willing to support you, then asking not to discourage you either. Find a close friend (on here or in real life) that is willing to support you, or will join you in your journey. It's not fair on you. Think about yourself. Good luck 0 -
Ok everyone else wont come out and say it I will......Your boyfriend is a F*cking Idiot. Good luck and prove him wrong!0
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I wouldn't go so far as to say your BF is an effing idiot because without being behind your walls I can't see what he's really like. If it was my husband I couldn't blame him for saying or thinking the same thing, but I'd use it as a reason to show him he's wrong.
This time, I have told my husband I want to lose a bight of weight, I haven't mentioned the dreaded D-word and I'm having him diet with me under the guise of just eating a bit healthier. So far he hasn't really whined much - not as much as I thought he would anyway LOL.0 -
I thank god I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me, even though he doesn't want me to lose anymore weight.0
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Don't hide it. Prove him wrong.0
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personally i would get rid of the boyfriend ,,stick to your diet ..then find someone who cares about you0
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I agree (the bolded part) although I'm not judging anyone since I don't know both of you personally.My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend. I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.[b/]
I say do it for yourself & not for someone else. First & foremost he is JUST a boyfriend, not your husband nor does he possess you. Even married couples has their own limits when it comes to meddling with their partner's decisions. What more for couples in a relationship that still has no guarantee.0 -
Kick his *kitten*! Tell thanks for the support but I'm doing this with or without you..........
got your support right here if you need it!0 -
I will try my best to answer your question of how to go about "sneaking" your new diet/lifestyle in. I have a fiance who loves me very much (and I him), but let's face it...he's seen the "Oooh! I'm going to go on a diet and lose weight!" cycle a few too many times (with his grandma and mom, past girl friends, past female friends, and myself). We all start out well meaning and we are pumped about it. We go out and buy "healthy" foods that cost 5x as much as normal foods depending on what "diet" we are going on, and after a week or two we get sick of it and drop it. But, he also shows a little bit of resistance because he is my 30 year old man-child. He knows that I grocery shop and cook. He knows that if I decide to go on a juice cleanse...guess who else is going on a juice cleanse. If I decide that carbs are the devil, somebody else in the house can no longer eat carbs. So long story short, his trepidation is a small part due to my past failures but a HUGE part about his forced involvement in it.
So here's what I do:
1.) I buy him the foods he likes to eat. We have frozen pizzas in the freezer. We have soda and beer. I don't force him to eat anything he doesn't want to eat. Yea, sometimes I do force small changes on him (like refusing to buy white bread and only buying wheat. This isn't a huge deal though since he's never been so outraged to go to the store himself and buy different bread), but for the most part my diet/lifestyle isn't put onto him.
2.) I cook the same as I always have, I just make sure that I have a single serving of the casserole and not half the darn pan. We normally eat one meal a day together, so the other two are mine to eat as healthy/horrible as I want.
3.) I invite him to exercise with me, but sometimes I'm a little bit tricky about it (ie: "Hey, can we go down to the park quick and look for good photo spots for the wedding?" which turns out to be a nice mile or two stroll for us...he has no clue he's been juped into "exercising")
4.) I get one meal a week that I get to experiment with new recipes. Some turn out really well, and some I make a mental note never to attempt again. I really like the website: http://www.eat-yourself-skinny.com/ I usually don't tell him it's low-cal until after he's made up his mind whether he likes it or not. Good news is once it's "approved" I can work it into other days.
But my relationship is completely different than yours. Find out what his real objections are. Also, depending on what type of "diet" you are doing, he may have legitimate concerns as to the sustainability of it (there are a ton of fad diets that don't work). And keep in mind that most men are result driven. My fiance became so much more supportive once he started seeing results. He now has a list of calories for different beer so he can make "smarter choices". Small steps. Small steps.
this!
me and my fiancé are physically opposites, I'm short and tend to chubbyness, he's tall and really skinny; medically underweight and he eats SOOO much, it's just that because of his job it's really irregular. We both have body issues but they're in opposite directions, which means that finding things for both of us to enjoy is extremely difficult. There are some ways to make it work though:
1) portion control: you CAN eat the foods he eats, just a smaller portion. For me, whenever I make food, i'll take 1/3 and leave him 2/3 of the food, therefore he actually eats twice as much as I do. As the poster before me said, we normally only have 1 meal per day together so if I'm good for the rest of the day, I can have some mac&cheese if I want; sometimes even a small ice cream for dessert.
2) self control: weekends are the hardest. I'd have my tiny little yoghurt for breakfast and watch him wolf down 4 eggs fried with bacon. You have to learn to tell yourself no. And you have to learn to tell him not to push the eggs and bacon at you, it's ok if you want to have a healthy breakfast, right?
3) letting go: this one was soooo hard for me. I'd always feel guilty for going to the gym and leaving him all alone in the evenings. I mean, it's time we could have spent together. But! everyone likes their alone time. See, this is time that you're away and he can play his video games or whatever hobby he has and you're not there to nag at him for it
While you do something that YOU want. Then you get home, you've both paid attention to your own hobbies and you can spend some quality time together This is assuming you've got a live-in bf as I do btw :P 0 -
I don't really think it's my place to judge whether you have a good boyfriend or not.
And I know that personally if my boyfriend is eating crap, sometimes I just eat crap too cos it's easy.
Perhaps don't make it out like you're full-on dieting, just that you want to eat a bit better/a bit healthier. It's probably a better mindset to have - a healthy change rather than a temporary diet!
Hope it works out!
^^This!! I know it's incredibly difficult to live with someone who eats nothing but junk. And just the fact that it's in the house and available can be a big barrier to your success. Hiding it won't work. But treat it like "honey, we need to start eating healthier". And that is SO easy to do if you're the one doing most of the cooking. Once you've lost the weight and gained some self esteem, you'll be in a better position to truly evaluate his behavior and decide if you want to kick him to the curb.0 -
I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
Ditch the jerk....0 -
My friends call me a girl and make fun of me because I eat healthy, I'm not mad though because I look better than them.0
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DTMF.0
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After reading just the title.... get a new boyfriend.0
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that has happened to me...not by my husband, but by "friends" in my life. What it did for me...Pissed me off to the piont that i am determined to PROVE THEM WRONG!!!
I've been at it for about 2 months now and am down almost 20 pounds....35 since January. those are the people you want to walk up to and say "look at me now *****es"
LOL!
good luck to you and remember this is for YOU ....... NOT the boyfriend!0 -
I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
Screw him. Im sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was that as your boyfriend he should have your back and support you no matter how many attempts it may take before you find a healthy and effective way to lose weight. He should support your decisions and encourage you instead of picking on you and bringing down your morale. You should be able to rely on him - not hide it from him. Nope, I said it right the first time - screw him.0 -
Sorry, but what a *kitten*. Get rid of him then when he sees you looking fantastic he'll wish he hadn't said that crap.
Good Luck.0
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