Once a Cheater …Always a Cheater…is BS

EyeLikeTacos

I was cheated on by my ex when I was 20, so what did I do? I cheated on her to get even. BUT it didn’t fix how awful I felt for getting cheated on. I still felt like crap, and I have never cheated on anyone since then. I made a vow with me and my God that if I ever got hurt like that again I would just break up…and I did get cheated on three girlfriends later and I broke it off with her. Even though I had lots of opportunity to cheat I didn’t. I was 28 when that happened. I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater. My dad cheated on my mom once when I was like 6 or 7…It was the only time my dad ever cheated on my mother. They have been married going on 37 years now. My dad and I talked about that time, and he said he was young and stupid. Wished he never made that mistake. But once a cheater always a cheater is such crap. I personally feel people who say that are only trying to empower themselves to call someone a lifetime Ahole…Some people learn from their mistakes and never do them again.

Who is with me? I am probably in the minority here.

Jxnsmma

crickets...

TylerJ76

Cool story, bro?

lukeout007

You made a post about something that really would be better to be discussed on a completely different website...

Nope you're in the majority.

Im_NotPerfect

I'm torn on this...I've known both kids. 1 who cheated once and then never again after his wife forgave him. And 1 who was a chronic cheater. I really think a general statement can not be made.

raindance_maggie

and this is a rant for why?!

BeingWiser

i agree!

sjbruno7

i like to believe that is the case. But I don't think that happens very often. The people who cheat like the thrill of it. They will most likely always do it. Kudos for you and your dad for not being that way. But like i said before, very rare that someone only cheats once.

DaGsGirl

I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

ILoveTheBrowns

im at a loss for words

AmyFett

Ummm... How about get even by dumping the cheating *****'s *kitten*??? And no offense, okay, maybe a little offense, but your mom should have left your father IMO. Cheating is not ok.

MeliJean78

I can't say NO TO TACOS.

AmyFett

I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.

sjbruno7

i agree

tdp8700

It is very true that some do actually learn from their mistakes and move on to faithful happy lives. It is not fair to an entire population or gender to judge them based on a single mistake. What a person should be careful of however is a pattern of mistakes. Errors in judgement happen to us all. If an error is made it can be repaired. However repeated errors add up to patterns. That is when "Baby I'm so so Sorry!" means nil. Fool me once:Shame on you. Fool me twice: Shame on me.

strongnotskinny121

I have never known someone who just cheated once. Most of the cheaters I know are habitual cheaters.
I agree with Dextress. cheating is not ok. If your unhappy in a relationship or if you aren't getting what you need from your partner, get out of the relationship.

secretlobster

are you still cheating on drugs with tacos?

Just_Dot

Generalizations are usually created because there's some truth to it.

That is all.

LuLuSUPER

I can't say NO TO TACOS.

:laugh:
right no no vodka with diet tonic !!! :drinker:

ErinBeth7

oh man you should totally post this on facebook :grumble: :noway:

ChcolateLady11

I agree OP, but then again...for some this statement is true.....

SF2514

I believe people can change if they want to .

vade43113

never cheated... then again never dated... so kind of never did anythin:frown:

EyeLikeTacos

It was mentioned in that one post about “What about a Cheating Wife?” A poster posted "once a cheater always a cheater"

And on this page

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/668660-cheating-husband?hl=cheat&page=4

and here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/672034-cheating?hl=cheat#posts-9789866

I see it a lot on this site…

Sorry about the rant!

CalJur

interesting but not quite sure how it fits in with this site. same issue I have with other forums from time to time but to each their own.

Merithyn

Ummm... How about get even by dumping the cheating *****'s *kitten*??? And no offense, okay, maybe a little offense, but your mom should have left your father IMO. Cheating is not ok.

What a waste of a good marriage because of a single mistake.

LuLuSUPER

:glasses: i have never cheated.....anytime it was that bad that im ready to engage ,i leave my current relationship. its not less painful just acute versus lying and stupid stuff like that. I am not a good liar anyways so i have found it easier to be good at being the bad guy.

lindalee0315

I totally agree with you. No one knows what the marriage or BF/GF (or whatever variation applies) situation is like except for the two people who are in it. And each person within that relationship may have a totally different perspective (or may be sharing only their side of the situation). A person may be miserable and cheat, later get out and become a wonderful spouse or significant other to someone else.

Similar topic: I also happen to think that people who make blanket statements like "You committed to me for better or for worse" and rely entirely on that commitment to excuse their own behavior are very selfish. I'm not talking about things like I got cancer or downsized. Rather, I 'm talking about people who no longer make any effort to care for themselves and do not treat their spouse nicely now that they married, and who sigh and say "tough crap, you married me, you're stuck with me" when the other spouse raises the issue.

Llorraine11

I was married to a man for 15 yrs when i found out he cheated .. i forgave him than to find out he did it again with the same ugly fat woman... anyway,, this time i was not so forgiven.. i did it to him and i was brutal about it,,, i wanted to get caught and i wanted him to feel the way he made me feel.. long story there was no hope for us.. divorce was next,, i felt bad i hurt my family and my kids... i often wondered this question.. am i a cheater for life.. once a cheater always a cheater... Trust was a huge thing for me .. but i believe i am not a cheater.. i believe that one day i will meet someone who is like me.. although i been hurt.. i also did much damage... i asked god to forgive me and its taken me yrs to learn to forgive myself...

Lorraine

EyeLikeTacos

Generalizations are usually created because there's some truth to it.

That is all.

whateva


might as well be racist..

Not saying you are....but people who do this might as well be racist

Nessiechickie

Not trying to rant on the person who started this thread.
But I'm fairly new on this site and I can't believe the amount of "cheating/problems with the partner" threads.
It is getting depressing and horribly enough questioning my relationship... which i really shouldn't be doing.
I really don't think the best thing to do is ask randoms but talk it out between the two of you.
Anyways I've said enough......