Once a Cheater …Always a Cheater…is BS

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  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
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    I believe people can change if they want to =).
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
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    never cheated... then again never dated... so kind of never did anythin:frown:
  • EyeLikeTacos
    EyeLikeTacos Posts: 324 Member
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    It was mentioned in that one post about “What about a Cheating Wife?” A poster posted "once a cheater always a cheater"

    And on this page

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/668660-cheating-husband?hl=cheat&page=4

    and here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/672034-cheating?hl=cheat#posts-9789866

    I see it a lot on this site…

    Sorry about the rant!
  • CalJur
    CalJur Posts: 627 Member
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    interesting but not quite sure how it fits in with this site. same issue I have with other forums from time to time but to each their own.
  • Merithyn
    Merithyn Posts: 284 Member
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    Ummm... How about get even by dumping the cheating *****'s *kitten*??? And no offense, okay, maybe a little offense, but your mom should have left your father IMO. Cheating is not ok.

    What a waste of a good marriage because of a single mistake.
  • LuLuSUPER
    LuLuSUPER Posts: 189
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    :glasses: :wink: i have never cheated.....anytime it was that bad that im ready to engage ,i leave my current relationship. its not less painful just acute versus lying and stupid stuff like that. I am not a good liar anyways so i have found it easier to be good at being the bad guy.
  • lindalee0315
    lindalee0315 Posts: 527 Member
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    I totally agree with you. No one knows what the marriage or BF/GF (or whatever variation applies) situation is like except for the two people who are in it. And each person within that relationship may have a totally different perspective (or may be sharing only their side of the situation). A person may be miserable and cheat, later get out and become a wonderful spouse or significant other to someone else.

    Similar topic: I also happen to think that people who make blanket statements like "You committed to me for better or for worse" and rely entirely on that commitment to excuse their own behavior are very selfish. I'm not talking about things like I got cancer or downsized. Rather, I 'm talking about people who no longer make any effort to care for themselves and do not treat their spouse nicely now that they married, and who sigh and say "tough crap, you married me, you're stuck with me" when the other spouse raises the issue.
  • Llorraine11
    Llorraine11 Posts: 350 Member
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    I was married to a man for 15 yrs when i found out he cheated .. i forgave him than to find out he did it again with the same ugly fat woman... anyway,, this time i was not so forgiven.. i did it to him and i was brutal about it,,, i wanted to get caught and i wanted him to feel the way he made me feel.. long story there was no hope for us.. divorce was next,, i felt bad i hurt my family and my kids... i often wondered this question.. am i a cheater for life.. once a cheater always a cheater... Trust was a huge thing for me .. but i believe i am not a cheater.. i believe that one day i will meet someone who is like me.. although i been hurt.. i also did much damage... i asked god to forgive me and its taken me yrs to learn to forgive myself...

    Lorraine
  • EyeLikeTacos
    EyeLikeTacos Posts: 324 Member
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    Generalizations are usually created because there's some truth to it.

    That is all.

    whateva


    might as well be racist..

    Not saying you are....but people who do this might as well be racist
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Not trying to rant on the person who started this thread.
    But I'm fairly new on this site and I can't believe the amount of "cheating/problems with the partner" threads.
    It is getting depressing and horribly enough questioning my relationship... which i really shouldn't be doing.
    I really don't think the best thing to do is ask randoms but talk it out between the two of you.
    Anyways I've said enough......
  • DaGsGirl
    DaGsGirl Posts: 194
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    I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

    There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.

    No, I didnt say that. I said, EVERYBODY makes mistakes and those without fault, PLEASEEEE hold your hand up!!! Id personally like to see one of those people as ive NEVER had the pleasure of seeing one, just as the rest of the world hasnt. Cheating is horrible and it destroyes families and breaks hearts. Sometimes there are things called children, and other reasons and you cant just LEAVE simple as that.
  • AnnMarie518
    AnnMarie518 Posts: 93
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    This is a very touchy subject for alot of people. If I was going to throw my 2 cents in, I would have to say that I agree with the theory that you cant judge everyone the same. There are those who do learn from their mistakes and become better for it. However there are those who (like previously stated..) have developed a pattern, and are repeat offenders.

    Unless you are in someone's personal life then you cant say if they learned their lesson or if they are repeat offenders.

    And for the record YES, I have been cheated on before, unfortunately in my case it was a habitiual thing for this man and needless to say I am no longer with him. But I am STILL not going to say once a cheater always one....
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    "Once a cheater always a cheater" is one of those cliche phrases that drives me nuts because it's not true. Each situation and person is different and there are no shortcuts. My fiance said that I am the first woman he has never cheated on because I'm the first woman he has ever wanted to spend his whole life with. He cheated on other girlfriends when he was young and stupid and also didn't really love them. I trust him 100%. But yes, a lot of people are habitual cheaters. It just depends. I like to get to know people and then make my judgements based on their personality rather than on blanket statements that get thrown around by the general public.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    Honestly, if someone can cheat once, they have proven that they can perform the behavior. Its almost the saying what "he does with you he can do to you" in regards to women who date men who are cheating. I'm not saying that once a cheater always a cheater, but if someone can do it once, they can def do it again, so IMO, its not BS.
  • lindalee0315
    lindalee0315 Posts: 527 Member
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    I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

    There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.

    No, I didnt say that. I said, EVERYBODY makes mistakes and those without fault, PLEASEEEE hold your hand up!!! Id personally like to see one of those people as ive NEVER had the pleasure of seeing one, just as the rest of the world hasnt. Cheating is horrible and it destroyes families and breaks hearts. Sometimes there are things called children, and other reasons and you cant just LEAVE simple as that.

    Totally agree. I think that the fear of incurring the brutality of everyone's judgment usually precludes an honest discussion about the topic. People who were cheated on are sometimes the victims, but sometime they are selfish, horrible people, who use this as an excuse to wear the "victim" mantle. People point at the cheater and say, "What a miserable human being." Rarely, if ever, do they look at both sides of the issue. I also think this is an area where people feel vulnerable, so it is easier to address it in generalities without truly thinking about it.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    It may be more accurate to say, "Once a cheater, always suspected as a repeat offender."
  • aphrogirl2002
    aphrogirl2002 Posts: 36
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    interesting but not quite sure how it fits in with this site. same issue I have with other forums from time to time but to each their own.

    Anything goes in the "chit chat" section. That's why it exists. I don't spend a lot of time in this section because it's not why I'm here. But it's the appropriate place for folks to post topics of this nature.
  • africaa
    africaa Posts: 228
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    I thought this was gonna be about food......lol sorry.

    I agree with, but there are some people who are "once a cheater always a cheater"
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    Ummm, people post **** here all time that has absolutely nothing NOTHING to do with fitness. I don't know why anyone has a bug up their *kitten* about OP posting this.

    Needless to say- I agree. I know many situations where the person cheated once and never again.
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,289 Member
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    Generalizations are usually created because there's some truth to it.

    That is all.

    whateva


    might as well be racist..

    Not saying you are....but people who do this might as well be racist

    Per Wiki: A generalization (or generalisation) of a concept is an extension of the concept to less-specific criteria. It is a foundational element of logic and human reasoning.[citation needed] Generalizations posit the existence of a domain or set of elements, as well as one or more common characteristics shared by those elements. As such, it is the essential basis of all valid deductive inferences. The process of verification is necessary to determine whether a generalization holds true for any given situation.

    The concept of generalization has broad application in many related disciplines, sometimes having a specialized context- meaning.

    Of any two related concepts, such as A and B, A is considered a "generalization" of concept B if and only if:
    every instance of concept B is also an instance of concept A; and
    there are instances of concept A which are not instances of concept B.

    For instance, animal is a generalization of bird because every bird is an animal, and there are animals which are not birds (dogs, for instance). (See also: specialization).

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