Relationship on the rocks and I need chocolate!!
Replies
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Sorry to hear this.
This might be the inspiration to move onto the next and best phase of your life.
Go out and excersise, stay off the chocolate and use the pain to motivate you to work out. You can make this happen.
p.s. yesterday was my 200th day without chocolate and soda.0 -
Make this about you. Not, "I'm doing this to look good for someone else". That is sooooo the wrong reason to get into shape. I know that it's hard to do when there are other things weighing on your mind. But like all the other's above me have said, put on ur head phones, throw in some Breaking Benjamin (kidding throw in what you get motivated too) and work out...
You can do it...0 -
Oh No, We have all been in the situation & it hurts, its scary & well you feel like crap,..understandable but PUT the chips, brownies, pizza , ben & jerrys down & step away b/c that comfort will only make you feel worse.
This is the time to show this guy what he MIGHT lose. Yes "You should do this for yourself" but Im like you, I need a drive, so whatever your motivation is FOCUS on that & get off that butt go for a walk, work out, show him what you can accomplish & in no time youll be so focused that youll start to do this for yourself & not for him, Youll feel Hella good & he will see this. Hey by then you might not want to work things out.
This is your time to shine. Keep youself busy, go out with friends, do things youve wanted to do but didnt, & workout on your own with some tunes Believe that what is meant to be, will be.
At the end of the day youll be healthier, happier & stronger. Everytime you want to call him go walk a mile, when you want to text him, go dance for 20 minutes. Give yourself distractions that include bettering yourself not punishing yourself with more things to feel down about.
Good Luck if you need to talk, feel free to message me.
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go get your own puppy! better yet go to your local shelter and volunteer to walk the dogs. it sucks that everything is falling apart BUT you're doing all this for YOU not him! if you do end up breaking up just think how amazing you'll look when you've completed your journey.
if you must wallow in chocolate set aside one day, go and get yourself and ice cream at an ice cream shop and enjoy every bit of it. don't go out and buy a tub of ice cream and eat it all go out and enjoy it!July has been the worst month ever. My bf of 3+ years and I are teetering on the edge of break-up, and all I want to do is eat crap. I have lost my motivation to work out, too (why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?). We started this weightloss journey together, and now he's moved in with his mom for a bit until we can see if we can straighten things out. He took his puppy, too, and walking him was my main motivation for getting out and moving. Excuses, excuses, I know, but it's SO hard to stay on track right now. Sigh.0 -
I have lost my motivation to work out, too (why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?).
The person you love should be you!
^^^^^THIS0 -
Or you could stick with it, get really hot, and then make him sorry.
Besides, exercise will boost your mood. Get out and do something active, you'll reduce your urge to binge, and you'll have some sweet endorphins to boot.0 -
Great response I too am going thru a divirce and this week I didnt even feel like going to the gym..my weight loss is for me not him but the motivation to keep going is hard I came home and just wanted to be in my bed and sleep
I dont want to gain all the weight I have lost so that is the only reason why I am still here loggin in I am sure next week will be better and maybe I can pull myself together and go to the gym 0 -
And if you ABSOLUTELY MUST have chocolate- grab a square of dark chocolate to curb the craving on your way to the gym! You'll feel 1000 times better after you sweat it out and get some good endorphins going through your system! 0
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You need to do this for yourself and not him! Get up, get a new puppy to walk with, and don't worry about him if he's coming back or not.0
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Thanks I also have same problem going thru a divorce! Words I also need to hear!!0
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I agree with what alot of the people are saying. You need to make yourself the priority right now. Start small and get moving, walk and walk and walk. Once you start moving and start felling better, it is easier to continue.
Hold your head up high!! You are strong and just need to believe in yourself!! So, come on! Focus on yourself for a while and I bet you will be feeling fine in no time!!0 -
You can be BADA$$ and have chocolate.0
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RAWR!!!!!!
OMG !!!!! FIZZGIG!!!!!
+15645645645486 for that picture!!0 -
Please don't give in and eat a bunch of rubbish. You will only feel worse. Trust me. You will binge and along with feeling terrible about the bf situation, you'll have a belly ache and a whole head full of remorse.
Get moving and do it for you!0 -
I would continue sort of as a look at me now thing- If he sees that you are continuing and losing weight and you can be independent without him- it could make him re-evaluate what he's deciding, plus if a relationship is on the rocks it can kindle new interest- and sort of like a look at this amazing person Im missing out on - if you do break up- it could be sort of a "look what you gave up fool" that's how I motivated myself through my 5 year relationship break up. Just don't let him move in with your parents- thats how I stressed myself out and gained the 40 I lost right back
Still mad at myself for that one. When you want to eat chocolate get a skinny cow- Go kickboxing- to get out the frustration- go swimming to let loose and relax- Take a class to distract yourself- Go to the bar with some friends and dance dance dance- best work out in my opinion. You will have fun, be distracted and lose weight. If you don't have friends reconnect with old ones. A major problem with my relationship was that we just got too comfortable, the silences got longer- the friends became more distant, we had more problems build on top of each other and no time apart- when you each do your own activities it makes a rubberband effect- you feel more connected because you have more to talk about. My theory is you fall in love with someone because of who they are- and fall out of love because as you become closer and want to spend more time with the person- they lose some of the characteristics that you fell in love with. It's a catch 22. You want to hold them close- but the closer they are the more likely you will be to fall apart. 0 -
Throw on some Kelly Clarkson or Cher tunes (Strong Enough comes to mind) and work out. It'll be a better outlet for your anger and you will feel better rather than guilty if you gorge on chocolate. Trust me I've lost 34 pounds partly fueled by my recent dislike of men lol
^ This!
I love Cher's song "Strong Enough" and it was my theme song during a stressful time in my life at one time.
I like "Believe" by Cher... I remember when that song first came out when I was in high school. I would drive around and sing it at the top of my lungs... "Well, I know that I'll get thru this. Cause I know that I am strong!! I don't need you anymore. No, I don't need you any mooooooooooore," etc.0 -
Or you could stick with it, get really hot, and then make him sorry.
Besides, exercise will boost your mood. Get out and do something active, you'll reduce your urge to binge, and you'll have some sweet endorphins to boot.
Yeah getting hot definitely improves your confidence.0 -
Throw on some Kelly Clarkson or Cher tunes (Strong Enough comes to mind) and work out. It'll be a better outlet for your anger and you will feel better rather than guilty if you gorge on chocolate. Trust me I've lost 34 pounds partly fueled by my recent dislike of men lol
^ This!
I love Cher's song "Strong Enough" and it was my theme song during a stressful time in my life at one time.
I like this plan (:0 -
My opinion is DO IT FOR YOURSELF!
You can't do this for anyone but YOU.
And if he doesn't give a crap who cares - b'c the next (if your bf doesn't come around) WILL give a crap!
So chin up~!
You can do this.
^^^ Totally agree!^^^ I was in the same place just a few months ago. I must say working out faithfully 5 days a week kept me occupied and my mind off him. Hopefully this space apart can do you two some good. I really hope it works out in the long run but stay encouraged. I know it's painful and all you want to do is wallowing in it but you will be so happy with the strength you've shown by moving forward with your weight loss journey. This is for you and you only.0 -
You will not be happy with yourself with or without him until you make the changes you need to make.
If a puppy was helping you stay motivated...get a new puppy.
I was just thinking this! Go get a new puppy! 1,000s of animals need a good home every single day -- my puppy (12 years ago) also helped with the lonely house syndrome
good luck! 0 -
Here's what I say.... and it's not going to be what everyone else says (at least I don't think so, but I tend to blubber on)....
Eat that junk... go ahead, eat it. I'm serious too!!! You know in your heart where things are heading and it's tough to deal with. I've been there, but I was two months pregnant.
Do whatever it is that comforts you until you feel sick of it and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"... you'll find that fuel to get back on the wagon, but you might need to hit bottom before you do that. AND WHEN YOU GET BACK ON THE WAGON, you'll be ready and nothing will stand in your way because a fire will be lit under your *kitten* and you'll be doing this for yourself!!
HUGS!
I kind of have to agree with this. Focusing on healthy weight loss is a journey. You may not be ready for that journey if you have other things weighing on your mind. That does not make you a bad person. It just makes you someone who is not ready yet.
And that's ok. Yeah - you'll get a bit sick from eating a bunch of crap, but now may not be the right time for you to focus on you.
There's a flipside though - when you are ready to focus on you, you'll find out that with proper exercise and moderation, you can have some chocolate, and, gasp - STILL LOSE WEIGHT. You decide when you're ready. If you're not ready to commit now, then do what you've been doing. But if you are ready, skip the binge, tell yourself you are doing this for you, and commit to it.
You just have to decide what's most important to you now - giving in to having food be your comfort, or deciding to focus on a lifestyle change where you can learn how to incorporate your favorite stuff in a healthy way. Either way, we'll all be here to support you now, or when you are ready.0 -
this is the PERFECT time to go bust out frustration, sadness, anger at the situation at the gym or any sort of work out. It will make you feel so much better afterwards. Besides this should be about you - not him.0
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He took the puppy AND moved back home to mommy ?
Hmmmm ...... maybe he's a great guy .... or maybe you'll be better off without him .......
No matter ..... step away from the junk food, hit the gym & get that rocking new body without him :drinker:0 -
Taking care of yourself is number #1 priority!
Get yourself a puppy! I have two dogs, it is doable!0 -
I'm kind of in the same place as you... but I am finding it has the opposite effect. It makes me want to eat better and look better.. for the thought of finding someone new (Yes I know.. but I am doing this for myself also etc.)!
I also went and got some good quality dark chocolate. It satisfied the craving without being really delicious.. so I didn't have any problem regulating my intake of it..
Good luck with the relationship and your fitness!0 -
Wow. Thanks for all the support, peeps!
FYI, I'm not losing weight FOR him. It's just that we both jumped on this band wagon at the same time, and then we got the dog right after that. So the whole time i've been losing I've been losing with my man and the dog. Unfortunatly if we break up I will have to be dog-less as I don't have the money to properly look after a puppy. I am seriously thinking about volunteering at the local SPCA.
ANYWAY, thanks again for the oomph! It made me feel a lot better!0 -
What good would eating crap do? How would it help this situation? Most likely, it will just make you feel worse.0
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You have to want to do it for you. If things don't work out, at least you look good for the next guy!0
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Eat that junk? Disagree- Whats better- Unhappy and Unhealthy?? Or Just Unhappy? I know that being overweight already makes it hard when youre depressed- How about gaining a bunch of weight back just because in the mean time.0
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I'm going through something similar. we're not exactly on the rocks but our ship is headed toward the shore at a pretty good clip.... How i'm dealing with it is to try to treat myself in moderation. i have bought some dark chocolate and cherries, lots of healthy food so my eating schedule isn't dependent on him, and i figure that i will be happier with me if i'm back down to a size i am comfortable with. My fiance doesn't want me to lose weight cause he thinks i'll lose it all directly from my boobs but i'm doing this for me because 160 at 5'3 isn't healthy unless you're super buff, and i'm not. I'm doing my nails more frequently, i have an appointment for a major hair color change, i am working out regardless of if he sleeps till 3pm. I'm not sure if in the end the fact that he can't be bothered to take care of himself will ultimately turn me off, but doing this so i can be hot for me.0
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