what's the difference between compliment & being weird

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m11ekd
m11ekd Posts: 46 Member
in Chit-Chat
What's the difference between a guy passing a compliment on how someone looks either in flesh or here online in MFP or someone being weird and potentially scaring someone?

I'm happily married but often feel that some of the people on here i'd like to be able comment how good they look and appreciate the enormous effort that must have been making in order to look great, but fear that some will take it the wrong way and that I may be considered in a negative stalking or seeking something more! Most of you look amazing, all of you have taken a great deal of effort in changing your looks either by loosing weight or simply getting fitter. and without being creepy want to say so.

what do you think? and has anyone made a comment which was taken the wrong way and what did you do about it?
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Replies

  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    A compliment is like a drive-by shooting, throw it out there and move on.

    Weird is saying exactly the same thing as above and then hanging around to dwell on it, and if in person may be accompanied by a lingering stare.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    "Great job! You look fantastic!" is good.

    "I want to unbutton your shirt with my teeth!" is too much.

    If you'd feel comfortable saying it in front of your wife, or having someone else say it to your wife, daughter, mother... it's fine.
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
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    "Great job! You look fantastic!" is good.

    "I want to unbutton your shirt with my teeth!" is too much.

    If you'd feel comfortable saying it in front of your wife, or having someone else say it to your wife, daughter, mother... it's fine.



    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jaimrlx
    jaimrlx Posts: 426 Member
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    I agree with the above. From experience, as long as you don't say 'Great job! You're doing awesome!' like a normal person, and then message them about how you wish you were closer so you could 'take them out and show them a good time'.. I think you'll be fine! :smile:
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    What's the difference between a guy passing a compliment on how someone looks either in flesh or here online in MFP or someone being weird and potentially scaring someone?

    I'm happily married but often feel that some of the people on here i'd like to be able comment how good they look and appreciate the enormous effort that must have been making in order to look great, but fear that some will take it the wrong way and that I may be considered in a negative stalking or seeking something more! Most of you look amazing, all of you have taken a great deal of effort in changing your looks either by loosing weight or simply getting fitter. and without being creepy want to say so.

    what do you think? and has anyone made a comment which was taken the wrong way and what did you do about it?

    As a happily married man I've got some guidelines I go by:

    I wouldn't say anything to a girl that I wouldn't say to a guy - that way I know I'm not flirting

    It must be relevant. On a health & fitness forum it is appropriate to say to a guy or a girl, "You look great, keep it up" I don't consider it relevant to say to a girl "You have such pretty eyes" (flirty) or to a guy "You are handsome" (very weird!)

    I'm going to add Lorina's "If you'd feel comfortable saying it in front of your wife, or having someone else say it to your wife, daughter, mother... it's fine."
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I wouldn't say anything to a girl that I wouldn't say to a guy - that way I know I'm not flirting

    I'm going to add Lorina's "If you'd feel comfortable saying it in front of your wife, or having someone else say it to your wife, daughter, mother... it's fine."

    smart
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Comment on hard work, results. Blah blah. Don't point out specific parts. lol
    Unless your a woman talking to another woman, that's ok.


    Also I agree, if it's something you would feel comfortable saying in front of your wife mother daughter it's fine.
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
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    Im a creep AND weird

    Ive msged ppl on here telling them how amazing they look and some ignore me LOL
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    As a happily married man I've got some guidelines I go by:

    I wouldn't say anything to a girl that I wouldn't say to a guy - that way I know I'm not flirting

    It must be relevant. On a health & fitness forum it is appropriate to say to a guy or a girl, "You look great, keep it up" I don't consider it relevant to say to a girl "You have such pretty eyes" (flirty) or to a guy "You are handsome" (very weird!)

    I'm going to add Lorina's "If you'd feel comfortable saying it in front of your wife, or having someone else say it to your wife, daughter, mother... it's fine."

    Good answer! I suspect that if you are not married a sister is much the same.
    Some people deliberately take things wrong. All you can be responsible for is the attitude with which you say it not how they take it!
  • 3LittleMonkeyMom
    3LittleMonkeyMom Posts: 259
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    I'm kind of along the lines of throw it out there! The fact that you are concerned tells me that you really won't say anything inappropriate.

    Honestly, I am the kind who doesn't "think THAT way"....if someone gives me a compliment, I don't take it in any certain direction or to have any meaning other than "hey good job". I just acknowledge and appreciate! :) I think most people are the same...they appreciate the fact that someone else can see changes and the good work they have put into their body.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Of course, reading previous threads, compliments such as "You look so slim and lovely now!" and "You don't need to lose any more weight!" will start arguments.
    Im a creep AND weird

    Ive msged ppl on here telling them how amazing they look and some ignore me LOL

    Well, if you will end the compliment with "so can I lick your biceps?" what do you expect?
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    I know you will do just fine with your comments and compliments!
    I can tell because you obviously have thought about this and will consider your remarks before hitting the Post button. You will come across OK, because that is your intent. I think anyone who takes offense a a remark you make is probably reading more into it and may have a personal issue.
    So, go for it! :flowerforyou:
  • AbzRocks
    AbzRocks Posts: 45
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    One day I was at the gym and this really muscly woman was in the changroom. Without thinking I said"I was checking you out the other day" she looked at me in shock and I realised what I'd said and quickly said"your muscles". I didn't save myself, she avoided me like the plague after that even though she saw me with my kids lol. I was the weirdo!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    As a happily married man I've got some guidelines I go by:

    I wouldn't say anything to a girl that I wouldn't say to a guy - that way I know I'm not flirting

    "Your body's really looking good now, Cheryl. Nohomo."?
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
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    Of course, reading previous threads, compliments such as "You look so slim and lovely now!" and "You don't need to lose any more weight!" will start arguments.
    Im a creep AND weird

    Ive msged ppl on here telling them how amazing they look and some ignore me LOL

    Well, if you will end the compliment with "so can I lick your biceps?" what do you expect?


    Ew i dont say that!! I say for example "you dont look (insert age here) ! Your looking good!" If they look much younger etc stc !!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    sometimes i wanna compliment a guy but then they will think i am gay :P
    i would love to compliment some girls about their body parts :devil: :devil: but it's hard to tell which ones will feel creeped out :P
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Is this guy going too far? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akinwale_Arobieke

    :D
  • AbzRocks
    AbzRocks Posts: 45
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    sometimes i wanna compliment a guy but then they will think i am gay :P
    i would love to compliment some girls in their body parts but it's hard to tell which ones will feel creeped out :P

    " wow your upper inner thighs are looking great "
    " you can really tell you have been working hard on your chest presses" lol
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
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    sometimes i wanna compliment a guy but then they will think i am gay :P
    i would love to compliment some girls about their body parts :devil: :devil: but it's hard to tell which ones will feel creeped out :P


    Lol you added in devil faces


    I like that :bigsmile:
  • feliciapeters
    feliciapeters Posts: 525
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    "Great job! You look fantastic!" is good.

    "I want to unbutton your shirt with my teeth!" is too much.


    TOOO FUNNY.

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