How do you respond to something like....

rozsbluejay
rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
in Chit-Chat
"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

My coach asked me this on the first day and plenty of people have asked me from time to time, but how do you respond?

The real reasons are sad and obvious...some people are shallow....but I get blindsided and have nothing to say.
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Replies

  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
    same reason why everyone else doesn't...haven't found someone worth devoting that much time and energy to...yet.
  • AmandaDutra
    AmandaDutra Posts: 38
    When people used to say this to me, I said it was because I was just taking care of me, my education, my career, etc. I think its one of the most important things to do when you're not in a relationship, find who YOU are. Too many people get into a relationship without knowing themselves. I made this mistake time and time again, after I took the time to take this advice (that someone else had given me) I am not in a happy relationship with someone amazing!
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    I hate that question. It automatically places the onus on YOU, like having a boyfriend is the natural state and you're somehow off by not having one.
    I have no good answers...people tend not to want to hear the truth, they just think they're being nice.
  • Flugangst
    Flugangst Posts: 98 Member
    When people asked me that I would tell them "I don't want a boyfriend."
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    I like answering questions like these with a question.

    Q: "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

    A: "What do you mean?"

    Q: "When are you guys getting married?"

    A: "Why?"

    Q: "Why don't you want more children?"

    A: "Why do I need more children?"

    Simple, yet effective. Answering a question with a question is the best way to shut down rude, personal queries that are no one's business. The best one? "Why do you ask?" Forces them to realize they are being inappropriate.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
    It really is nobodies business. But people don't mean any harm when they ask these things. It can be pretty hard to answer if you are like me and have this inane truthfulness. I'm learning to smile and say nothing, because it's better than telling them the truth, and I can't lie.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
    Or you could just say 'In all honesty I'm only attracted to ostriches, and I haven't met a decent one lately' :wink:
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Tell him you can't date as a condition of your parole. That will shut him up right quick.
  • droolie2
    droolie2 Posts: 17
    Just tell them... men are too high maintenance....lol :laugh:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,992 Member
    I tell them it's because I'm heterosexual.

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  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
    "because I'm married" would be my response.lol. Before I met my hubby I would have just said "cause I haven't found anyone worthy of me yet"
  • heagler870
    heagler870 Posts: 280 Member
    You come back and say "Because I haven't met anyone yet that can handle my pure awesomeness!"
  • MIchelleH2027
    MIchelleH2027 Posts: 1,239 Member
    Tell them you haven't found a man with enough money to provide you in a life style you deserve. If nothing else that will give them something else to think about. :laugh:
  • YokoJ
    YokoJ Posts: 253
    I often just leave it at "I don't have the time for a boyfriend".....think ppl are too pushy when it comes to this topic. Im always thinking "geez if I dnt offer up this info it's none of your effin business" but I'm never bold enough to voice that. Lol
  • CassandraM22
    CassandraM22 Posts: 89
    I get that all the time! I typically ask them if they are happily married or in a happy relationship...that shuts them up.
  • AZDizzy
    AZDizzy Posts: 434 Member
    I usually just ask them if they want the list of why alphabetically or in order of importance and that usually shuts them up.
  • olee67
    olee67 Posts: 208 Member
    Because I'm into girls.. No offense if that's your thing... "ONE LOVE!" But, I'm into girls...

    Seriously.. I just say, "because I haven't met anyone worth it."
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    "whats it to you?"
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I hate that question. It automatically places the onus on YOU, like having a boyfriend is the natural state and you're somehow off by not having one.
    I have no good answers...people tend not to want to hear the truth, they just think they're being nice.

    This.
    It is just a way people are trying to give you a compliment almost. But it doesn't sound that way. Just shrug your shoulders and say, "I'm open to anything at this moment!" and steer the conversation away from it.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i say 'because i'm too awesome for the *kitten* in america.'
  • MrsCCWoods
    MrsCCWoods Posts: 142 Member
    I would say because i am focusing on myself or i like keeping my opions open
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  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    Or you could just say 'In all honesty I'm only attracted to ostriches, and I haven't met a decent one lately' :wink:

    I love this.
  • georgie_lou
    georgie_lou Posts: 225 Member
    I've been with my bf for 8 years now (I was 17 when we got together) and we always get "When are you getting married?" We've actually made the choice NOT to get married (this has nothing to do with lack of committment and everything to do with personal beliefs) and NOONE can accept this! It's crazy! Even worse, when the bf replies "we're not" I get 100 sympathetic looks shot in my direction. GRRRR!!!
  • rinnismom
    rinnismom Posts: 190
    i would respond with.... "well, i've not found anyone that can lick it right. until i do, i'm single and searching!"

    screw jerk-offs that come up with that ****. i didn't realize it was a requirement in this day and age to be attached to someone. the only way i can see this question being reasonable is when you've blown (hehe) some guys socks off and he wonders why someone hasn't snatched you up.

    much love to ya, lady.
  • mcpherson4
    mcpherson4 Posts: 287 Member
    Tell him you can't date as a condition of your parole. That will shut him up right quick.

    Definitely this is the best response I have heard in quite some time. You have to try it and let us know. Hilarious.
  • kstrunk1
    kstrunk1 Posts: 462 Member
    One of the best answers I have heard that would apply to this or any other awkward question is, "Why do you want to know?" or
    "Why is it important for you to know?"
  • fatbottomfairy
    fatbottomfairy Posts: 3
    I would take it as a compliment. You must be a very cool person and people genuinely wonder why you haven't been snatched up.
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member
    Remind them that decent people don't rain from the sky. Or tell them you're a strong independent person that doesn't rely on a guy to take care of you
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
    When people used to say this to me, I said it was because I was just taking care of me, my education, my career, etc. I think its one of the most important things to do when you're not in a relationship, find who YOU are. Too many people get into a relationship without knowing themselves. I made this mistake time and time again, after I took the time to take this advice (that someone else had given me) I am not in a happy relationship with someone amazing!

    I like this answer!!
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    "that's one of your business".

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