Fears About Losing Weight

dreamsofescaping

1. Gaining it back!
2. Saggy skin (already have it on my arms - yuck....)
3. People judging me because of #1
4. Never getting to my ideal weight (although, I don't really think I ever will)

I try to remember the One Pound Poem when I am feeling frustrated.
__________

One Pound of Fat

Hello! Do you know me? If you don't, you should.
I am ONE POUND OF FAT, and I am the happiest pound of FAT that you would ever want to meet!

Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me! After all, I am only ONE POUND OF FAT. Just ONE POUND. Everyone wants to lose 3 or 5 or 15 pounds, but never ONLY one.

So, I just stick around and happily keep you. Then I am free to add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice...

That is, until I have grown to 10, 20 or even 30 pounds in weight...

YES... it is fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT... left to do just as I please.

So, when you weigh in, go ahead... just keep on saying, "Oh I only lost one pound." (As if that is so terrible.) For you see, if you do this, you will encourage others to hang around me because they will think that I am not worth losing.

And I LOVE being around you... your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips, and every other part of you. HAPPY DAYS! After all, I am ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

---author unknown---

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this poem!!!! I have never heard it before!!!! WOW! Thank you for sharing.

BobbieJeanDietQueen

My boobs are already getting smaller, which on one hand is OK because shirts will start to fit better, but on the other hand... they are my boobs!
I think that losing weight at a moderate pace will help with the sagging skin as it will/should have time to shrink back up. I heard that skin is supposed to be really elastic. Hopefully I haven't stretched the elastic so far that it can't go back!

I've also been using my weight as a bit of a security blanket. Even though I sort of want people to admire my body, I also have a hard time accepting that kind of attention. I tend to be more on the modest side and my curves draw attention when I'm slim. I'm sort of shaped like Betty Boop.. LOL only bigger right now so it is camouflaged ......
I've been married for three years and know that my husband will LOVE my curves no matter what size they are.

My biggest fear is that no matter how much weight I lose, my back will still hurt. I have been told by EVERYONE that if I lose weight my back will feel better. (back injury in 2003 led to 60 pounds gained) If this doesn't help my back I'm going to be really depressed. I'm tired of being in pain all of the time.

dreamsofescaping

Thank you everyone for sharing your fears. It seems as though we all have so much in common. :flowerforyou: for each of you for opening up. Thank you

dreamsofescaping

As for me, I worry that my attitude will change, and not in a positive way. I lost 60 lbs several years ago and was back down to my high school weight (I was overweight back then, though, too) and my husband called me out numerous times on how judgmental of other people I'd become. When I gained it back over a couple years, I quit. In a way I feel like I got what was coming to me with my judgmental attitude, because I went into my weight loss thinking there was no way I would ever gain it back, because I didn't want to be like "THOSE PEOPLE" again. I think some of the attitude came from my Weight Watchers leader at the time, though, but experiencing personal success does not give me (or anyone) a license to slam others. And as a result, I'm way more careful about saying "I'll never be THAT weight again," because I prefer my humble pie to be fresh rather than months- or years-old.

I also worry about people treating me differently. It's something I hate about the process of losing weight. When people say, "You look so beautiful now!" and so forth, it can feel like a backhanded compliment. Like, thanks for saying I look beautiful, but the insinuations in the "now" is what gives me pause. I don't like how I look when I'm heavier, but I also don't like feeling like my worthiness is tied to my physical appearance. I find myself feeling like I have to work harder to earn the praise (that's not tied to my appearance) that I get now, and therefore it's somehow more deserved.

SOOoooo true! My sis keeps saying "Nikki, I am so proud of you, you are going to look so hot." I keep telling her I have always been hot. lol. (Don't know if I truly believe this but I need to say it so that I feel better about who I have always been.) You know the comment I HATE the most is when someone says "You have such a pretty face." It's like umm geez thanks.... I know I am big and all.... Heck in some countries bigger is more beautiful, guess I just happen to be in the wrong country lol.

dreamsofescaping

To the women who are afraid of undoing what they have done once they get pregnant... I know it is a fear now, but it is such a true miracle to carry that little life inside of you. Those stretch marks will be like beauty marks because it will be a gentle reminder that you were blessed to carry that baby inside of you, to feel him/her kick, to know you helped create a life. You were that baby's home for 9 months in a warm, safe enviroment. That the baby grew from a tiny cell into who you now hold in your arms. It is worth every stretch mark and there is an expression which goes "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you have not held a baby in your arms." I promise you, it is worth it :-)

lik_11

Although I can fake it with the best of them- I've never been a very confident person. So- I wonder- will working this hard to reach a goal give me more confidence? Although I've lost weight before- it's not been in healthy ways, and I've never gotten down to my goal weight. Honestly- I have no idea how I will look and wonder if I'll like what I see (that would be a first!)

I worry about maintaining. I worry about my friend's acceptance (the friends who have always been thinner than me- but have gained weight in our 30s).

Mostly- (like someone else said)- I worry about my relationship. My lifestyle is SO different from my husband's now- so that I almost feel that we're leading separate lives. I have NO idea what he does while I'm at the gym every night. Although I've tried to get him to join me, he won't. Every now and again he'll go for a walk with me, or we'll go play frisbee golf. Other than that- we barely spend any time together.

Wenchilada

As for me, I worry that my attitude will change, and not in a positive way. I lost 60 lbs several years ago and was back down to my high school weight (I was overweight back then, though, too) and my husband called me out numerous times on how judgmental of other people I'd become. When I gained it back over a couple years, I quit. In a way I feel like I got what was coming to me with my judgmental attitude, because I went into my weight loss thinking there was no way I would ever gain it back, because I didn't want to be like "THOSE PEOPLE" again. I think some of the attitude came from my Weight Watchers leader at the time, though, but experiencing personal success does not give me (or anyone) a license to slam others. And as a result, I'm way more careful about saying "I'll never be THAT weight again," because I prefer my humble pie to be fresh rather than months- or years-old.

I also worry about people treating me differently. It's something I hate about the process of losing weight. When people say, "You look so beautiful now!" and so forth, it can feel like a backhanded compliment. Like, thanks for saying I look beautiful, but the insinuations in the "now" is what gives me pause. I don't like how I look when I'm heavier, but I also don't like feeling like my worthiness is tied to my physical appearance. I find myself feeling like I have to work harder to earn the praise (that's not tied to my appearance) that I get now, and therefore it's somehow more deserved.

SOOoooo true! My sis keeps saying "Nikki, I am so proud of you, you are going to look so hot." I keep telling her I have always been hot. lol. (Don't know if I truly believe this but I need to say it so that I feel better about who I have always been.) You know the comment I HATE the most is when someone says "You have such a pretty face." It's like umm geez thanks.... I know I am big and all.... Heck in some countries bigger is more beautiful, guess I just happen to be in the wrong country lol.

YES, that is exactly it! I'm already hot, my husband tells me so all the time and always has. :P Sometimes it matters more what's up there [points to head] than what's on the outside.

My therapist has always told me my face is beautiful, and compliments me when he thinks I've lost a few pounds. I know he's trying to be supportive, but it's also sort of frustrating. He's very thin, and from what I gather, always has been.

When I was in college (at a very small Methodist school in the Midwest), I was the RA on a floor of girls who were primarily from Chicago, and most of them knew each other from high school. I learned a lot about body image that semester. Many of them prized "thick" bodies, and I heard one of the girls get enthusiastic compliments from her neighbors about how "thick" she'd gotten over Thanksgiving break. Her reply was, "I swear I ate mac & cheese from the moment I got on the train until I got back here!" I found myself wishing I could do that! And I actually got several compliments on my own butt, to the point where one night, one of the girls told me to turn around so some guy she was hanging out with in the lounge could see my booty. I was doing the nightly rounds in my sweatpants... I guess they were flattering to my figure?

kariebo

I am afraid of :
gaining it back,
of saggy skin (although weight lifting is keeping that from happening thank goodness!),
of becoming critical of other people who arent fit,
of going overboard with nutrition,
of making my kids overly concerned with weight and food,
of not losing weight the right way and getting sick over it,
becoming obsessed with working out
not getting enough nutrition and food to nurse my baby (i have a 4 month old)
that my mom will still tell me im fat even after i lose the weight.. or she'll keep reminding me that I was fat and I shouldnt eat XYZ or ill be fat again

There is a lot I am afraid of and its something I think about everyday -- esp. since most of my concern deals with eating enough but not too much and is it good food or bad food .. its stressful

kariebo

To the women who are afraid of undoing what they have done once they get pregnant... I know it is a fear now, but it is such a true miracle to carry that little life inside of you. Those stretch marks will be like beauty marks because it will be a gentle reminder that you were blessed to carry that baby inside of you, to feel him/her kick, to know you helped create a life. You were that baby's home for 9 months in a warm, safe enviroment. That the baby grew from a tiny cell into who you now hold in your arms. It is worth every stretch mark and there is an expression which goes "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you have not held a baby in your arms." I promise you, it is worth it :-)

AMEN!!! With my first child I ate right, exercised daily (walked 3 miles and did stretches, etc) drank lots of water... when I gave birth I not only lost ALL the weight I gained during pregnancy, but also ANOTHER 20 POUNDS!!! ... Now I havent been able to duplicate that with my last 2 children... but still... pregnancy doesnt mean that you have to get fat.. Just remember you arent eating for 2 people (the baby isnt even a full person!) and if you stay active and eat right anything is possible!!

gdwarkaj

I guess I'm scared of being "visible" again. I have gotten very comfortable just being in the background and people watching without being noticed.

I was just thinking this! I have this thing where I become uncomfortable being the center of attention. I blush, fidget, everything.

I'm scared of gaining it back once I work so hard to achieve where I will be. In undergrad, I went from 242 to 165 in a year and half's time. Two years later, I started to gain back weight, but didn't pay attention. Years after that, I was back at 242. Knowing this, there's this feeling of disappointment in myself - I allowed myself to gain back all that weight.

I'm also scared of not recognizing how far I have come. As I said, I previously was 165, and my mom would tell me how much my physical appearance changed for the better. But, in my head, I was still "Flabby Gabby," the wonderful nickname a girl in middle school gave me. :grumble: I could not see that I had done well. If only I had known how cute and healthy I was in middle school, that name would not have hit so hard and would not be haunting me years later.

We all have our fears, some rational, some irrational. This is exactly the reason why, when we're making these positive changes for our physical health, we consider the mental and emotional health too. I'm working on it!

kaliam

I haven't lost a lot of weight but due to my little weight loss i know it is possible to shed the pounds. Since this revelation i have developed a fear of losing weight. It may sound dumb to fear a goal but it's real. I'm scared that losing the weight may not be all i have made it out to be in my head. A little background. I was a really skinny child; in fact, it was so bad that my grandma had an irrational fear that i may die during those periods. I was this way up on till grade three when i started to gain weight rapidly. As a child your metabolism is supposed to be working for you but mine was working against me. As a guess i started to gain the weight due to stress and depression (yes, you can have these things at such a young age). By grade four i had an obscene amount of stretch marks along my sides. By grade nine these stretch marks were now on my arms, stomach, thighs and on the back of my calves. I hated myself for a while got depressed for a while and only once i started college did i make a conscientious effort to do something about it. I am trying to lose weight the healthy way but now i fear the body images to come if i achieve my goals. I have seen when pregnant women gain the weight and lose it all; they get that extra skin in that pouch area that never goes away. Will i get that? I have stretch marks that mostly, only women with twins or triplets get. Will my stretch marks ever fade, if not completely disappear? I am 19 and i feel like i am too young to be having this many body issues.I just want somebody to say when you lose the weight you will be the person you envisioned and more, without it being a lie.

k8blujay2

The only fear I have about losing weight is all the money I will have to spend to buy new clothes.... everything else that may or may not happen is eh.