Would you be hurt?

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  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    i'd forget his birthday and x-mas presents and then, next time i wanted a vacation, i'd go on my own and leave him home with the kids.

    cuts both ways.

    I kind of agree with this. I wouldn't be nasty or mean, but I definitely wouldn't make too big of an effort. Also, I would probably would stop any little things you might do to make him feel appreciated. I hate to say that -- but sometimes the only way to make people have empathy when they are THAT oblivious to upset them and shake them out of their little world. And after that kind of vacation, I would pretty much be booking a weekend get away for myself at a spa or fancy hotel.
    exactly. you don't need to be nasty or mean.
    if not getting a present bothers him then he learns how bad she felt. but even if not getting a present doesn't bother him then he's still given her the gift of child free time in which to have some 'me time' and some fun.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
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    I think I'd be more pissed than hurt. It's a vacation for everyone so why should you be the only one stuck dealing with your child. You guys could have taken turns staying with her. I think you should talk to him about it so you can avoid this sort of thing in the future... it's possible he didn't realize what a tool he was being. I don't think I'd be too bothered by his lack of creativity and effort in getting you gifts... I think most guys generally suck at it. I'd be more upset at how he treated you on your birthday.

    ^^ this...
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I would be but I think adults tend to go into kid mode around their parents and siblings. Which could explain the lack of responsibility. I wouldn't worry about it too much if this has only happened a couple times. There's worse things in life.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
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    I haven't read through all of the replies, so this may have been addressed already.

    You are obviously very hurt by your husband's actions. My concern is that you are coming here, to strangers on a public forum, asking if it's okay for you to be hurt. You do not need anyone else's permission to be hurt, and it doesn't matter whether anyone else would be hurt by these kinds of actions from a significant other. If his actions bother you, they bother you, and you need to talk to him about your feelings. You need to sit down with him and have a conversation either completely alone, just the two of you, or, perhaps, with a neutral party who can mediate. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. You need to clearly communicate your desires, your needs, and your feelings. You should also be willing to listen to his thoughts and ideas, and you should both be willing to compromise and do what it takes to serve each other. But you cannot control your husband's actions. You can only control your own, so you need to make up your mind how you feel and how you want to be treated and how you are going to treat him before you ever even know his response. If his response is negative, how are you going to deal with that? It's okay for you to feel the way you do. It's okay to be hurt, to be angry. What's not okay is for you to bottle it up and hide it and let it grow and swell. I did glance at a couple of posts long enough to see that you said something in a joking manner. He may not get it when you do that. You need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, all joking put away.

    Thank you. That will be $200. :tongue: LOL Jk :smile: :flowerforyou:

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