My Grandfather called me fat

MaryJane_8810002
MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I fell out on the lawn on the way to my therapists appointment. I felt weak and I have been feeling terrible for over a week. I was taken to the hospital. They did not find anything out of range so it was believed that I just have severe dehydration. I got home and my grandfather greeted me at the door. He gave me a hug and then said "' you have been getting a little fat." My mother instantly came to my defense and told him that I was actually losing weight.

It did not bother me before but it kind of does now. I hate when I am working so hard and he just says it like that!:explode:
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Replies

  • jenichenny
    jenichenny Posts: 73 Member
    Don't let others discourage you. Just prove him wrong :)
  • JalonTicara
    JalonTicara Posts: 8
    :-/ :-(
    Use it as motivation to work harder!
  • kay4489
    kay4489 Posts: 36
    what jalon said. keep pushing. anytime ur at the gym and feel like giving up, hear ur grandfather's words in the back of ur mind and push harder!
  • kime1991
    kime1991 Posts: 4
    It sucks that he said something like that, and I get why it would hurt you :(. Try to make the best of the situation and let it motivate you to prove him wrong! You've already done really great so far, just keep going!
  • LovleeGirl
    LovleeGirl Posts: 18
    I am sorry that you have been feeling ill lately but with rest, good nutrition and lots of water.. I know you will feel a heck of a lot better soon. If I were you I wouldn't stress out about what your grandfather said. . the older generation tend to have that "I SAY WHAT I WANT" sort of attitude. My 84 year old grandmother (not biological) lives with us and she does the same thing, so does alot of the older people in my family. When we eat they have something to say and when we dont eat they have something to say. When you think about it the younger generation today are alot bigger and taller than what the older generation is use to so I guess their just voicing their thoughts aloud, not caring whether their being rude or not so just learn to ignore it or joke back with him about his age OR you could just tell him that he is hurting your feelings with some of the comments he makesand that you would really appreciate it if he would discontinue them. GOOD LUCK! : ]
  • NWCyclingBeast
    NWCyclingBeast Posts: 157 Member
    Just tell Grandpa to **** right off! Then threaten to put his *kitten* in a nursing home! Don't let ANYONE get you down! You got this!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    meh. you shouldn't expect to be coddled. just lose the weight and show him that you're healthier.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    Relatives seem to be more blunt than others, I suppose it's the fact you're related some find the need to let their manner-girdle loosen.

    I remember when I was a kid my grandmother gave me clothes every Christmas. When I got in my teens and really started to get big, she bought me the ugliest things and the one time I made a face she said, "well if you were a normal size I could shop in the teenager section, not the old lady section!" But, my grandmother's purebred Italian from Sicily (if anyone wants an example think of Sophia from "The Golden Girls", only nastier) and she hated buying for me anyway because no one knew what I really liked.

    In the end you have to remember you didn't pick your family. Their personalities and opinions can't be helped. You know better than they do. Take it with a grain of salt and if nothing else, politely tell them to shut up it's none of their business to begin with.
  • lisapisa1
    lisapisa1 Posts: 115
    tell him he's getting old and to shut his pie hole
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
    I had a grandmother who was like this (she has since passed). She would always make off-comments about weight to any of the female members of the family. She had a rough childhood, having been adopted in a time where people could and did adopt children to act more as free labour on the farm (this was the Prairies, in Canada), and not to be nurtured as a child should be. Her adoptive "mother" was especially harsh, from what I have heard, and that's likely where her mollycoddling of the males in her life, coupled with her iciness towards other females, came from.

    THAT said, it's still not an excuse for rudeness. We just ignored Grandma's off comments, in the past, but nowadays if someone said that to me, whether they were 8 or 88, they would be answered in kind. If they are going to be blunt about something that anyone, (even ALL men) should know is a touchy subject, then you should respond with an equally blunt, "That was really rude, and you should keep such comments to yourself. I am taking positive steps for my health, thank you." Age isn't an excuse to act like an A**hole, until and unless dementia is a factor (it affects a person's "filter")... in fact, at that age they've been around the block to know better, unlike a child making a similar comment, and a child WOULD be reprimanded, so why not an adult?
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    I am sorry that your Grandfather said that. I got the same thing from people that "loved" me.

    Sometimes, people can be ....simply put...an *kitten*!! :laugh:
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    So I fell out on the lawn on the way to my therapists appointment. I felt weak and I have been feeling terrible for over a week. I was taken to the hospital. They did not find anything out of range so it was believed that I just have severe dehydration. I got home and my grandfather greeted me at the door. He gave me a hug and then said "' you have been getting a little fat." My mother instantly came to my defense and told him that I was actually losing weight.

    It did not bother me before but it kind of does now. I hate when I am working so hard and he just says it like that!:explode:

    I would rather people be honest with me rather than try and lie. You are losing weight and eventually won't be fat anymore.
    Drink your water!
  • Jude1064
    Jude1064 Posts: 83 Member
    I would say "I may be fat...but you're old...and I can lose weight and you'll still be old!" Just kidding. Sometimes the people closest to us are the rudest. My parents used to bribe me to lose weight when I was a kid. My mom used to tell my dad that I took after HIS side of the family because no one on her side of the family was fat. Oh the joys of childhood...
  • SWEETS1234
    SWEETS1234 Posts: 243 Member
    Ah yes the blunt grandparent. I feel for you years ago my grandfather kindly total me that I was getting too big and pointed to a larger lady and said you don't want to turn out like her do you. Then he told me to go for a run. It hurt but that's my grandfather. Recently at his birthday party he said where did you go there's only half of you left and gave me a big hug.
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
    Grandpa's. They don't know. Just let it go and love him for who he is. Your gonna miss him when he's gone. Trust me.
  • dlh0253
    dlh0253 Posts: 1 Member
    Are you losing weight to please others (grandfather included)? Right... didn't think so. You have to do this for you. Chin up.
  • MoreThanMommie
    MoreThanMommie Posts: 597 Member
    Just tell Grandpa to **** right off! Then threaten to put his *kitten* in a nursing home! Don't let ANYONE get you down! You got this!

    LMAO! :laugh:
  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
    Grandpa's. They don't know. Just let it go and love him for who he is. Your gonna miss him when he's gone. Trust me.


    Truth. Having a jerk for a gramps is better than no gramps at all. I wish I got to know even one of my grandparents before they died. But most of them were gone before I was born.
  • KJoy7
    KJoy7 Posts: 246
    Just tell Grandpa to **** right off! Then threaten to put his *kitten* in a nursing home! Don't let ANYONE get you down! You got this!


    Love
  • zrmac804
    zrmac804 Posts: 369 Member
    The last time a relative made a comment about my weight, I replied "I'd like to see YOU run a 10-mile race. If you can do that, THEN you can judge me."

    I'm sure you've accomplished a thing or two that your nasty grandparent hasn't.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Yeah, my dad was like that. He was seriously old school. When I was 5 months pregnant with my first daughter, he told me I was "getting fat." I just said, "You ain't seen nothin' yet, Pops."

    It's their generation. Nineteen pounds is a lot. Be proud of that.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Negativity lives everywhere.
    The more you listen to it the stronger a hold it has on your life and goals. There is nothing good that comes from looking at dark side. Deflect it out of your mind and filter out the people who are feeding it to you. Good comes from light.

    -Heather Frey

    this is one of my favorite quotes regarding negativity
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    My grandfather has never called me fat, but I know he thinks it.

    In 2006, I had serious jaw surgery and had my jaw wired shut for two months. I could barely eat after that. I lost a stupid amount of weight and looked like a walking skeleton.

    He said to me "You look great! You really needed to lose that weight."

    I was normal then.

    Yeeeeah...grandfather's have no tact, lol.
  • RideaYeti
    RideaYeti Posts: 211 Member
    tell him he's getting old and to shut his pie hole

    +1000
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
    "hopefully you'll still be around when I reach goal weight" might shut him up.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    yeah the general rule of thumb is kids and old people tell it how it is.

    i mean you think you're overweight don't you? i'm assuming so because your avatar says "fabulous fat", so why be surprised when others see you the same.
  • obwize
    obwize Posts: 102
    My father told me I would have to lose weight to ever get married, I was 16, newly diagnosed with depression, a size 8. My brother told me that only the hot girls didn't have to play games to get attention, so I'd have to figure something out, I was a size 10. My mom, well, there have been too many comments positive and negative from her (she's got body image issues and reflects them on others).

    Those comments hurt a lot. Negativity has NEVER worked as fuel for me. The only way I can get over it and move on is with prayer. Asking to get over it, and praying to love them. Nobody is perfect, and those we deeply love have a greater ability to hurt us with flippant comments. And it sucks.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    "Chubby" was my dad's nickname for me growing up. He wasn't trying to be mean. I am sure your grandfather wasn't either. You can't let other people's perception of you define how you look at yourself. Took me 15 years of being overweight to get that. Hopefully the concept comes a bit easier for you
  • seonf
    seonf Posts: 24 Member
    My grandmother called me fat, I think old people just don't have the same sensativity that we have because they come from a different time. But I wasn't dieting then, so it would have put me off.

    But on the bright side I lost 55 kg and 3 years later before she passed away I went back to Scotland (she is in Scotland) and she commented on how diferent I looked. So it's worth it in the end.

    If I can do it, anyone can.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    It's hard to ignore what a loved one says. Remember this there are 8 billion people in the world don't let 1 ruin your day. : ) Good luck on your journey. :flowerforyou:

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