men are evil!!

hasiangirl

Can I be frank with you? I think you need to get away from relationships altogether and explore being alone and finding yourself. Do you think that by being with these guys you are setting a good example for your children?
And waiting until March so you have some money set aside sounds like a bit of a cop-out. Get out now. Your current BF is toxic (and bi-polar, is he on meds and are they the proper dosage?) and your ex is even shadier. There are a lot of social programs for women with children to start over again.
By being alone you will be able to explore yourself, know yourself and be confident in knowing yourself that comments like the one your BF made when you are about to go out, roll off of you like water to a duck.

my kids have only seen me with their father.....and he is on the correct meds, but i just think that we are totally unhappy with eachother....and its not really a cop-out...by march if done correctly i did all the math ill have about 6000-7000saved up.....that way i can find a place and pay off 4-5months rent in advance along with all of the bills...i just like having some type of security before i leave esp with kids... if i didnt have kids i would just leave and sleep in my car....but once im out of the current relationship i dont plan on getting into a relationship anytime soon....:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and i ignore most of what my bf says now lol is that mean?

CasperO

<<snip>>
I have been through some terrible relationships..and they have all been different but have the same factor....men suck. they are just not like us. unsensitive, selfish. i'm sure there are a few good men out there, i consider mine one, but good men are still men. they still will never be on our level. I think that a relationship gets to the point and the guy starts to take things for granted. That's where all my relationships turn bad. A girl has to be respected and appreciated or we won't be happy.
<<snip>>

The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

<<Not you Hasiangirl, you rock. I told you to ditch that D-bag 3 months ago. You'll be fine, just do what ya gotta. You're stronger than you think you are. >>

vraehn

Glad you had a place to vent. I have been married 48 years Nov 6. Sometimes it is a love/hate relationship. It's the little things that get blown out of portion. I'm not saying this is your case. However, our children are grown now and didn't know about the mental mistreatment I took. We rarely if ever said things in front of the children, and retreated to the bedroom and kept it down.

The opposite is true in the home I was raised and I remember my parents yelling at each other and how scarey it was. So don't lose it in front of the kids.

Phoenix_Rising

The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

I never knew the counterpart to misogyny! Thanks Casper! :flowerforyou:

CasperO

The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

I never knew the counterpart to misogyny! Thanks Casper! :flowerforyou:

I'm a walkin' thesaurus P - you're welcome.

hasiangirl

<<snip>>
I have been through some terrible relationships..and they have all been different but have the same factor....men suck. they are just not like us. unsensitive, selfish. i'm sure there are a few good men out there, i consider mine one, but good men are still men. they still will never be on our level. I think that a relationship gets to the point and the guy starts to take things for granted. That's where all my relationships turn bad. A girl has to be respected and appreciated or we won't be happy.
<<snip>>

The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

<<Not you Hasiangirl, you rock. I told you to ditch that D-bag 3 months ago. You'll be fine, just do what ya gotta. You're stronger than you think you are. >>

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Phoenix_Rising

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

Scottslass

I know the feeling LOL:flowerforyou:

hasiangirl

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

nope...and i wouldnt impose on any of my friends...they all have probs of their own :ohwell: i thought of that already the one family member near me i talked to...was just like sorry i cant have 2 kids runnin around

XFitMojoMom

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

I agree - you really need to get away from this toxicity. Let me tell you, if you get that cash saved up - I guarantee you he will sweet talk you into a vacation and everything will be forgotten - until he makes you a victim of your OWN circumstance...AGAIN.
Get away NOW.
And I meant - your kids are watching you be mistreated by this guy and are learning that it's okay to do this. It's not. So if not for you, then do it for your babies.

hasiangirl

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

I agree - you really need to get away from this toxicity. Let me tell you, if you get that cash saved up - I guarantee you he will sweet talk you into a vacation and everything will be forgotten - until he makes you a victim of your OWN circumstance...AGAIN.
Get away NOW.
And I meant - your kids are watching you be mistreated by this guy and are learning that it's okay to do this. It's not. So if not for you, then do it for your babies.

he cant sweet talk me anymore...i can barely stand to even look at him now....but i do know what u mean...i just honestly have no place to go if i were to leave and i would rather put up with the abuse for a little bit than leave my children for a while but i do understand what u mean...and i can assure u in march if ure still on this site u'll see me single and by myself losing weight or hopefully by then maintaining lol :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

XFitMojoMom

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

I agree - you really need to get away from this toxicity. Let me tell you, if you get that cash saved up - I guarantee you he will sweet talk you into a vacation and everything will be forgotten - until he makes you a victim of your OWN circumstance...AGAIN.
Get away NOW.
And I meant - your kids are watching you be mistreated by this guy and are learning that it's okay to do this. It's not. So if not for you, then do it for your babies.

he cant sweet talk me anymore...i can barely stand to even look at him now....but i do know what u mean...i just honestly have no place to go if i were to leave and i would rather put up with the abuse for a little bit than leave my children for a while but i do understand what u mean...and i can assure u in march if ure still on this site u'll see me single and by myself losing weight or hopefully by then maintaining lol :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

I hope so Hun.. I see it all too often - returning to an empty well. GL to you :flowerforyou:

Phoenix_Rising

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

nope...and i wouldnt impose on any of my friends...they all have probs of their own :ohwell: i thought of that already the one family member near me i talked to...was just like sorry i cant have 2 kids runnin around

Nah, that wouldn't be a better environment, just a different bad environment.
Do what you have to do to make it through. Keep saving. (Make sure that money is not within his reach.)

hasiangirl

i u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?

nope...and i wouldnt impose on any of my friends...they all have probs of their own :ohwell: i thought of that already the one family member near me i talked to...was just like sorry i cant have 2 kids runnin around

Nah, that wouldn't be a better environment, just a different bad environment.
Do what you have to do to make it through. Keep saving. (Make sure that money is not within his reach.)

nope its not...i already have a nice safe place set aside for it :flowerforyou:

kimss

then good luck to you, and keep yourself safe.
Don't let anyone derail your plans with promises of help and love, especially those that don't have it to offer.
good luck toyou and your kids

foxyforce

omg haisan girl, that is why i left here for a while. i broke up with my man of 5 years. we are trying to work things out now, but things were just too stressful, how do people not work things out after that long. love should be resonating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:explode:

JessicaT2007

You know, my hubby was very controlling and selfish when we first got married. After about a year I was fed up and let him know that I was going to divorce him if he was not willing to act like he had a wife and another person to share his life and decisions with. I went back home for a weekend to my family and would not talk to him at all. My dad talked to him to let him know how serious I was about leaving him. When I came back from my "trip" he was completely different and changed for the better. It is a few years later and it is still the best it has ever been and just keeps getting better.

You need to make sure that your guy(s) knows what you are feeling and that you are serious and mean business. My hubby is now the best hubby in the world!!

BrendaLee

Just make sure you stay away from the married ex...dangerous territory there, and not somewhere you want to go. As for the guy you're with- if you want out, I wouldn't wait until there's "hopefully... someday... eventually" a good time, ya know?

jvollmer

I just came across this thread this morning...and yes there are some men out there that are just not worth it....but take it from me, I spent 7 years with someone who didn't treat me right and I knew I should have left 2 years into it. Take some responsibility......you have obviously known for a while that he wasn't good for you... and whether or not you need to save money you should leave now...not later...now! If he is being verbally abusive to you, I could just imagine how he treats his kids.

Go to a friends place, your parents, wherever.....just get out. You need to start taking back you life. You can't be strong for your kids if someone is always there to knock you down. Plus your kids will see how their father treats you and they will start to think they can treat you like that.

And to the married point...stay away from that....whether or not you broke up with him...it doesn't matter anymore...he's married to someone else and you can't be involved past being a friend. You don't want to be a home wrecker. If the roles were reversed and he was your husband would you want some old flame coming back into his life...NO....

XFitMojoMom

I just came across this thread this morning...and yes there are some men out there that are just not worth it....but take it from me, I spent 7 years with someone who didn't treat me right and I knew I should have left 2 years into it. Take some responsibility......you have obviously known for a while that he wasn't good for you... and whether or not you need to save money you should leave now...not later...now! If he is being verbally abusive to you, I could just imagine how he treats his kids.

Go to a friends place, your parents, wherever.....just get out. You need to start taking back you life. You can't be strong for your kids if someone is always there to knock you down. Plus your kids will see how their father treats you and they will start to think they can treat you like that.

And to the married point...stay away from that....whether or not you broke up with him...it doesn't matter anymore...he's married to someone else and you can't be involved past being a friend. You don't want to be a home wrecker. If the roles were reversed and he was your husband would you want some old flame coming back into his life...NO....

my point exactly.