Had to defend my excercises at the gym....I hope I was right
tolygal
Posts: 602 Member
So today at the gym, I was doing deadlifts and this guy starts questioning me. The conversation went something like this:
Him: "what muscles are you working doing that?"
Me: "well, it works lots of stuff, your hamstrings, quads, glutes, back/core, etc."
Him: "oh, none of the things I want to work on... so it raises your BMI but doesn't build any muscle you can see.... hmm"
Me (after a moment of confusion): "well, I'm trying to work on getting stronger and building some muscle and burning fat."
Him: a slight head shake and a look on his face like I'm dumb
Me: "well, from everything I've read and heard, compound/full-body exercises are great - they work all those big muscles and also all the supporting muscles, so you get a really efficient workout, engaging lots of muscles, and don't have to do spend a bunch of time on isolation exercises. I'm trying to get overall stronger and lose fat, so that's why I like doing that kind of stuff."
Him: "well, I do a lot of cardio to burn fat."
Me: "well, there are definitely different ways to do things."
He's seen me spend lots of time in the weight room for well over a year now, and has only recently starting questioning me about things (though I know he watches what I do - not in a creeper sort of way or in an "interested" way - he's just a nice guy). Sometimes it seems to be in a somewhat disapproving tone, like today - but maybe that's in my head. Although one day he saw me doing a bench press with 35# dumbbells and asked if I'd ever tried it with a barbell - I told him I hadn't cuz I didn't have a spotter and was afraid I'd get stuck - so he spotted me that time so I could try it, which I thought was cool (p.s. - now I'm doing it with the barbell all the time). The first time he ever talked to me was to ask if I was training for something. I said no, just trying to get stronger and lose weight. The next time he asked me why I do a barbell bent-over row (he does his rows on a machine, not the cable machine...). He said it looked like it might be hard on my back or legs. And I had replied - well, I do it that way because I want to engage more muscles - so while I'm doing my rows, I'm also engaging my hamstrings and core, so I feel like I'm getting more bang for my buck. And he sort of just nodded thinking.
So - what should I take from all that? Do you think he's asking out of general curiosity or do you think he thinks I'm doing things wrong and/or doesn't approve of what I'm doing? I realize you can't know for sure - just looking for some other opinions. We have a new trainer at the gym who is into power lifting (yay!!). I've asked him to check my form on deadlifts (cuz I was having trouble with them) - and then he offered to checked everything I did. So I'm pretty sure I'm doing things right. But today, this guy's questions and responses kind of threw me off for the rest of my workout, and I kind of started doubting myself. He has this extensive chart that he carries with him (much lengthier than my chart), so I'm guessing he's got some purpose behind what he does. He is very lean and strong from the looks of it, so obviously what he does works for him. He does a lot of running first and then he comes over to the weight room. I generally only do a 5 minute running warm up before lifting and then only do a bit of HIIT (if anything) after lifting (I lift 3x a week). Then I do some cardio on non-lifting days. In the free-weights section, he works on bench press, biceps and pull ups mostly (from what I've noticed). Then he uses the machines for a chest press and row.
It's not that I really care. I'm pretty confident in what I'm doing, although my husband often questions my focus on lifting instead of cardio too. You can't really see any progress since my eating has been so bad, and I've been gaining weight instead of losing it, but I'm on track again now and I really can't wait to prove to everyone who knows I focus on lifting that what I'm doing really does work to lose fat!!!! But it sort of makes me doubt myself a little bit.... And then I wonder if other people at the gym think the same thing. Well - now that my eating is under control again, I'm ready to show some results.
Part of me wants to print out some info on the deadlift and share it with him. But then I feel selfish - if he decided to try it, I'd have to share the equipment with someone lol!! I'm usually the only one doing squats and deadlifts when I'm there and this makes me happy since there's only power rack :-) But today made me really doubt myself - for a few minutes anyway.... I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track (I hope).
edited for typos...
Him: "what muscles are you working doing that?"
Me: "well, it works lots of stuff, your hamstrings, quads, glutes, back/core, etc."
Him: "oh, none of the things I want to work on... so it raises your BMI but doesn't build any muscle you can see.... hmm"
Me (after a moment of confusion): "well, I'm trying to work on getting stronger and building some muscle and burning fat."
Him: a slight head shake and a look on his face like I'm dumb
Me: "well, from everything I've read and heard, compound/full-body exercises are great - they work all those big muscles and also all the supporting muscles, so you get a really efficient workout, engaging lots of muscles, and don't have to do spend a bunch of time on isolation exercises. I'm trying to get overall stronger and lose fat, so that's why I like doing that kind of stuff."
Him: "well, I do a lot of cardio to burn fat."
Me: "well, there are definitely different ways to do things."
He's seen me spend lots of time in the weight room for well over a year now, and has only recently starting questioning me about things (though I know he watches what I do - not in a creeper sort of way or in an "interested" way - he's just a nice guy). Sometimes it seems to be in a somewhat disapproving tone, like today - but maybe that's in my head. Although one day he saw me doing a bench press with 35# dumbbells and asked if I'd ever tried it with a barbell - I told him I hadn't cuz I didn't have a spotter and was afraid I'd get stuck - so he spotted me that time so I could try it, which I thought was cool (p.s. - now I'm doing it with the barbell all the time). The first time he ever talked to me was to ask if I was training for something. I said no, just trying to get stronger and lose weight. The next time he asked me why I do a barbell bent-over row (he does his rows on a machine, not the cable machine...). He said it looked like it might be hard on my back or legs. And I had replied - well, I do it that way because I want to engage more muscles - so while I'm doing my rows, I'm also engaging my hamstrings and core, so I feel like I'm getting more bang for my buck. And he sort of just nodded thinking.
So - what should I take from all that? Do you think he's asking out of general curiosity or do you think he thinks I'm doing things wrong and/or doesn't approve of what I'm doing? I realize you can't know for sure - just looking for some other opinions. We have a new trainer at the gym who is into power lifting (yay!!). I've asked him to check my form on deadlifts (cuz I was having trouble with them) - and then he offered to checked everything I did. So I'm pretty sure I'm doing things right. But today, this guy's questions and responses kind of threw me off for the rest of my workout, and I kind of started doubting myself. He has this extensive chart that he carries with him (much lengthier than my chart), so I'm guessing he's got some purpose behind what he does. He is very lean and strong from the looks of it, so obviously what he does works for him. He does a lot of running first and then he comes over to the weight room. I generally only do a 5 minute running warm up before lifting and then only do a bit of HIIT (if anything) after lifting (I lift 3x a week). Then I do some cardio on non-lifting days. In the free-weights section, he works on bench press, biceps and pull ups mostly (from what I've noticed). Then he uses the machines for a chest press and row.
It's not that I really care. I'm pretty confident in what I'm doing, although my husband often questions my focus on lifting instead of cardio too. You can't really see any progress since my eating has been so bad, and I've been gaining weight instead of losing it, but I'm on track again now and I really can't wait to prove to everyone who knows I focus on lifting that what I'm doing really does work to lose fat!!!! But it sort of makes me doubt myself a little bit.... And then I wonder if other people at the gym think the same thing. Well - now that my eating is under control again, I'm ready to show some results.
Part of me wants to print out some info on the deadlift and share it with him. But then I feel selfish - if he decided to try it, I'd have to share the equipment with someone lol!! I'm usually the only one doing squats and deadlifts when I'm there and this makes me happy since there's only power rack :-) But today made me really doubt myself - for a few minutes anyway.... I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track (I hope).
edited for typos...
0
Replies
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Why don't you ask him what his interest is? I'm sure he'll tell you. Sounds like he wants to...but if the trainer checked your form,you could just stay in your own zone, and say, "thanks."
Some people just want to help...doesn't mean they always say the right thing.0 -
Ignore it. Completely. All your reasons for doing deads are spot on. Once he said he works "on muscles he can see" you were too far ahead for him to catch up.
You had what sounds like a reasonable discussion on both sides about benefits of different types of training. He feels his way, you feel your way. We're allowed to disagree. Later, if he says something disapproving, feel free to tell him to "back back".
I'm on your side in this disagreement, but I wouldn't let that conversation faze me in the slightest, and I damn sure wouldn't make it a mission to prove to him he's wrong. Only thing I need to prove something to is the mirror.0 -
Should of stopped talking to the guy when he said it raises your BMI.... If he is in the gym doing the same stuff all the time, then let him do his thing.. Alot of people go in the gym and just work glamour muscles day in and day out.. and do cardio.. Thats why you don't really have to share the equipment with people.. some people would rather do 6 different bicep curls then do a squat..
The other side of the coin, he may want to try new things but is afraid of getting hurt from the information you mentioned0 -
He must be curious, and you were able to explain why you were doing exercises a certain way. That's way cool, by the wayl! :-)
If he has never seen you with a trainer, he may have thought that you didn't know what you were doing - and why you did exercises a certain way.
Guys do weight lifting with a different attitude than women. Some guys get the difference - others don't. They (my husband falls into this category) want to lift weights to specifically build muscle mass for one area. Mine does chest, and arms and forgets the whole body strengthening part. (we agree to disagree on this)
Who knows, maybe he is thinking of becoming a trainer (or physical therapist, or...) and wanted/needed to hear what is important to a female when they are working out. The best way is to find a woman who works out, with results. Like you!
(Yes, I try to see the best in people)
I think it is great that he was curious (and brave) enough to ask - most wouldn't.
Take it as a compliment!
Diane0 -
Why don't you ask him what his interest is? I'm sure he'll tell you. Sounds like he wants to...but if the trainer checked your form,you could just stay in your own zone, and say, "thanks."
I've thought about asking him that, actually. I think I will next time I get the chance.Some people just want to help...doesn't mean they always say the right thing.
I agree. And I don't mind people trying to help me or ask me about what I'm doing. I know some people get annoyed by that, but I don't - I welcome it (assuming I have time to talk). And that's how I've always pictured our discussions. Today just sort of "felt" a little different, I guess. He could have been sincerely asking about something he wasn't familiar with (which is actually very flattering to think of it that way) and saying that it wasn't something he wanted to do. And I'm okay with that too. I'm a "do what works for you" sort of person. But it almost felt like he didn't think it was right for me - and that's what caused me to ponder this so much I think.0 -
Bet he don't squat! Take if from me, if the guy didn't have his machines, he'd probably be lost. If you KNOW how to workout with free weights, then you can workout just about anywhere.So today at the gym, I was doing deadlifts and this guy starts questioning me. The conversation went something like this:
Him: "what muscles are you working doing that?"
Me: "well, it works lots of stuff, your hamstrings, quads, glutes, back/core, etc."
Him: "oh, none of the things I want to work on... so it raises your BMI but doesn't build any muscle you can see.... hmm"
Me (after a moment of confusion): "well, I'm trying to work on getting stronger and building some muscle and burning fat."
Him: a slight head shake and a look on his face like I'm dumb
Me: "well, from everything I've read and heard, compound/full-body exercises are great - they work all those big muscles and also all the supporting muscles, so you get a really efficient workout, engaging lots of muscles, and don't have to do spend a bunch of time on isolation exercises. I'm trying to get overall stronger and lose fat, so that's why I like doing that kind of stuff."
Him: "well, I do a lot of cardio to burn fat."
Me: "well, there are definitely different ways to do things."
He's seen me spend lots of time in the weight room for well over a year now, and has only recently starting questioning me about things (though I know he watches what I do - not in a creeper sort of way or in an "interested" way - he's just a nice guy). Sometimes it seems to be in a somewhat disapproving tone, like today - but maybe that's in my head. Although one day he saw me doing a bench press with 35# dumbbells and asked if I'd ever tried it with a barbell - I told him I hadn't cuz I didn't have a spotter and was afraid I'd get stuck - so he spotted me that time so I could try it, which I thought was cool (p.s. - now I'm doing it with the barbell all the time). The first time he ever talked to me was to ask if I was training for something. I said no, just trying to get stronger and lose weight. The next time he asked me why I do a barbell bent-over row (he does his rows on a machine, not the cable machine...). He said it looked like it might be hard on my back or legs. And I had replied - well, I do it that way because I want to engage more muscles - so while I'm doing my rows, I'm also engaging my hamstrings and core, so I feel like I'm getting more bang for my buck. And he sort of just nodded thinking.
So - what should I take from all that? Do you think he's asking out of general curiosity or do you think he thinks I'm doing things wrong and/or doesn't approve of what I'm doing? I realize you can't know for sure - just looking for some other opinions. We have a new trainer at the gym who is into power lifting (yay!!). I've asked him to check my form on deadlifts (cuz I was having trouble with them) - and then he offered to checked everything I did. So I'm pretty sure I'm doing things right. But today, this guy's questions and responses kind of threw me off for the rest of my workout, and I kind of started doubting myself. He has this extensive chart that he carries with him (much lengthier than my chart), so I'm guessing he's got some purpose behind what he does. He is very lean and strong from the looks of it, so obviously what he does works for him. He does a lot of running first and then he comes over to the weight room. I generally only do a 5 minute running warm up before lifting and then only do a bit of HIIT (if anything) after lifting (I lift 3x a week). Then I do some cardio on non-lifting days. In the free-weights section, he works on bench press, biceps and pull ups mostly (from what I've noticed). Then he uses the machines for a chest press and row.
It's not that I really care. I'm pretty confident in what I'm doing, although my husband often questions my focus on lifting instead of cardio too. You can't really see any progress since my eating has been so bad, and I've been gaining weight instead of losing it, but I'm on track again now and I really can't wait to prove to everyone who knows I focus on lifting that what I'm doing really does work to lose fat!!!! But it sort of makes me doubt myself a little bit.... And then I wonder if other people at the gym think the same thing. Well - now that my eating is under control again, I'm ready to show some results.
Part of me wants to print out some info on the deadlift and share it with him. But then I feel selfish - if he decided to try it, I'd have to share the equipment with someone lol!! I'm usually the only one doing squats and deadlifts when I'm there and this makes me happy since there's only power rack :-) But today made me really doubt myself - for a few minutes anyway.... I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track (I hope).
edited for typos...
You're doing fine and just let the guy wonder.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Ignore it. Completely. All your reasons for doing deads are spot on. Once he said he works "on muscles he can see" you were too far ahead for him to catch up.
You had what sounds like a reasonable discussion on both sides about benefits of different types of training. He feels his way, you feel your way. We're allowed to disagree. Later, if he says something disapproving, feel free to tell him to "back back".
I'm on your side in this disagreement, but I wouldn't let that conversation faze me in the slightest, and I damn sure wouldn't make it a mission to prove to him he's wrong. Only thing I need to prove something to is the mirror.
This ^^^^0 -
Sounds like you've got things right! Keep at it...
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Maybe he's interested in branching out and doesn't know where to start. You probably look like you know what you are doing, so he is asking you. Some people don't like doing their own research so they just question others. Keep it up!!0
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Maybe he's interested in branching out and doesn't know where to start. You probably look like you know what you are doing, so he is asking you. Some people don't like doing their own research so they just question others. Keep it up!!
This &..............HE FANCIES YOU!
Russ0 -
In the free-weights section, he works on bench press, biceps and pull ups mostly (from what I've noticed). Then he uses the machines for a chest press and row.
He probably has chicken legs, too!
You are doing things correctly and, most importantly, you enjoy it. Keep up the good work.0 -
Ignore it. Completely. All your reasons for doing deads are spot on. Once he said he works "on muscles he can see" you were too far ahead for him to catch up.
You had what sounds like a reasonable discussion on both sides about benefits of different types of training. He feels his way, you feel your way. We're allowed to disagree. Later, if he says something disapproving, feel free to tell him to "back back".
I'm on your side in this disagreement, but I wouldn't let that conversation faze me in the slightest, and I damn sure wouldn't make it a mission to prove to him he's wrong. Only thing I need to prove something to is the mirror.
Thanks :-) When he said "muscles you can see," it kind of made me stop for a second.... I don't usually have an opportunity to talk about this stuff (except for here), so now that I think about it more, I can kind of understand all his questions and look at them in a new light.
I don't think of it as a mission to prove he's wrong - what he does seems to be working for him. But after many months of going the wrong way on the scale because of my stupid eating decisions, I'm looking forward to proving that what I'm doing works too! ....just in case anyone is watching and wondering why I keep doing what I do without seeing any results...0 -
Maybe he's interested in branching out and doesn't know where to start. You probably look like you know what you are doing, so he is asking you. Some people don't like doing their own research so they just question others. Keep it up!!
That's sort of what I was thinking. I lift all the time and I'm always looking for an interesting way to do something else or perhaps an exercise that's hitting something I'm leaving out. If I stare it's not out of criticism. I watch people at times just for validation that I do things correctly and to see if there's a better way to do something. He's probably interested in the dead lifts (obviously a great complex movement) and is curious if he could work it in and what benefit it would give him. Just keep doing your thing.0 -
Ignore it. Completely. All your reasons for doing deads are spot on. Once he said he works "on muscles he can see" you were too far ahead for him to catch up.
You had what sounds like a reasonable discussion on both sides about benefits of different types of training. He feels his way, you feel your way. We're allowed to disagree. Later, if he says something disapproving, feel free to tell him to "back back".
I'm on your side in this disagreement, but I wouldn't let that conversation faze me in the slightest, and I damn sure wouldn't make it a mission to prove to him he's wrong. Only thing I need to prove something to is the mirror.
Totally agree!0 -
i bet he doesnt even know what a squat or deadlift is
chicken legs for the loss
it sounds like you are way ahead of this guy, and that may be hard for him to understand lol0 -
He's flirting.0
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Sounds to me like he's checking you out - wink wink hubba hubba!
Also, to the uninformed, dead lifts look like a lower back killer considering the need to keep the back straight and a slight bend in the knees. He was probably amazed by your form, rather than your function.0 -
Pure power and caloric efficiency starts at the core. Everything you said was accurate. He needs to buy a book and have someone read it to him;)0
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They (my husband falls into this category) want to lift weights to specifically build muscle mass for one area. Mine does chest, and arms and forgets the whole body strengthening part. (we agree to disagree on this)
So true!!! My husband does this too, and I keep encouraging him to try squats and deadlifts.... So far, no luck...I think it is great that he was curious (and brave) enough to ask - most wouldn't.
Take it as a compliment!
Diane
I agree totally!!! I'm glad I posted this, cuz I'm able to see it from different angles (which is what I was hoping for).0 -
Ignore it. Completely. All your reasons for doing deads are spot on. Once he said he works "on muscles he can see" you were too far ahead for him to catch up.
You had what sounds like a reasonable discussion on both sides about benefits of different types of training. He feels his way, you feel your way. We're allowed to disagree. Later, if he says something disapproving, feel free to tell him to "back back".
I'm on your side in this disagreement, but I wouldn't let that conversation faze me in the slightest, and I damn sure wouldn't make it a mission to prove to him he's wrong. Only thing I need to prove something to is the mirror.
THIS^^^ TOTALLY!!!0 -
maybe he likes u & talking @ fitness is the only way he feels comfortable w u yet0
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I can't tell what his real intentions are but he sounds like an idiot. Don't let any one else make you doubt yourself. You seem to have a much better grasp of lifting than most and you are spot on for incorporating compound lifts like the deadlift. Personally I would never think TWICE about anything anyone said who doesn't Deadlift and Squat. But maybe I'm just a powerlifting snob :P0
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Sounds like he just wanted to know if you really knew your stuff. He sounds like he may be into you, imo.0
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its unfortunate that so many men think like this. they only want to work out the "muscles you can see." i love dead lift days (squat days, not so much, but i do them). i feel that a building must have a good foundation. and my abs look amazing after dead lift day. and therefore i love working out my legs.0
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I think he might be using the conversation as a way of getting to know you. He wants to know why your working out and is curious, but he doesn't think what your doing is right. Even though he may not think your doing it right, from what you said, it doesn't sound like he's said your doing it wrong, or helped you in anyway to change it to make it better. Though there is that one where he did state that your back looks strained, or whatever it was that was said, so maybe he is interested in YOU and wants to make sure you aren't hurting yourself. You should ask him why he's so curious in your workout.0
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Sounds to me like you have impressed him and maybe because you're a girl, he's surprised at how much you're unknowingly teaching him. :flowerforyou:0
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I would just straight up put my ear buds in and ignore him.
But I'm not very friendly.0 -
You're right. He is wrong.0
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I'm not a powerlifter-- but squats and deads are staples in my workouts-- for the the reasons you mention-- I will always mix in some iso excercises because I have chicken pecs, arms and legs ATM--
i don't do any iso exercises, and i have a glorious man cleavage going on. push ups are a staple of a chest. barbell press and DB press are excellent too. for the DB press, squeeze your chest together at the top of the movement, as if you were trying to crack a walnut in between your pecs.0 -
The rationale behind your workout is sound. Turn the iPod up and tune him out.
BTW - excellent before and after Christmas photos, good work!0
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