How does your SO support you or not support you?

2manyhats

My SO ISN'T supportive:

He asks me to buy him chocolate when shopping
He won't drink diet or calorie free drinks
Orders pizza and asks if I want one knowing full well I've just eaten
Never asks how I'm doing or if I've lost anything
When I say I've lost pounds or inches, he just looks up and says ok
Refuses to lose weight himself despite being over 240lbs and diabetic...

There are other areas he is unsupportive relating to my health and disabilities, but that's for therapy lol!

This is awful to say, but please don't let me be the only one who's SO doesn't care!

vallemic

I guess the reason I started this thread is that I have often heard people say on these boards that they did not have a supportive SO and I didn't really know what they met. Thanks for clarifying. That being said, I can't imagine how difficult this journey must be with the added hurdles of fast food, crap food, lack of encouragement/acknowledgment right in front of you. I am hopeful that those who do not have supportive SOs will find support here and through friends and family. As Mark Twain once said "I could live for a month on a good compliment."

2manyhats

:noway:

laineylynnfit

For me, SO is unsupportive because of lack of acknowledgement. He's so back and forth too. One day he wants to eat better and the next he's bringing home junk. He won't do exercise with me because "he does enough physical activity at work"

He is supportive in that he doesn't complain that I wake up at 4 to get to the gym. I recently signed up for a Boot Camp in August and he didn't care that it will be in the evening 2 nights a week.

I am hoping that the more weight I lose, he'll be motivated to start working out with me.

I guess he is supportive but not actively supportive. He doesn't go out of his way to say "Good Job" or "Keep it up" but he doesn't try to stop me either ... except when he wants to eat out or something but that's unintentional.

sarahrbraun

My SO ISN'T supportive:

He asks me to buy him chocolate when shopping
He won't drink diet or calorie free drinks
Orders pizza and asks if I want one knowing full well I've just eaten
Never asks how I'm doing or if I've lost anything
When I say I've lost pounds or inches, he just looks up and says ok
Refuses to lose weight himself despite being over 240lbs and diabetic...

There are other areas he is unsupportive relating to my health and disabilities, but that's for therapy lol!

This is awful to say, but please don't let me be the only one who's SO doesn't care!

Sounds almost like my hubby used to be. I busted booty for 4 months, and he had the nerve to bring up how a person he sees 2x a year has changed. I was pissed! I told him " why the hell is it that you can comment on X losing weight, but I have lost almost 15 pounds and you haven't said boo to me about it?". A few weeks later he rolled over in bed and said "oh my gosh!! you have hips!" Ever since then, he makes sure to tell me when he sees something new. He's noticed a smaller double chin, smaller side rolls, smaller lower belly pooch....

he also likes to order pizza or subs, but knows better than to say anything if I order a huge salad.

He is 50 pounds heavier than he was when we met--the doctor has told him to lose weight, but he has yet to do anything but play in the pool in the 6 months we have had a Y membership. I am 6lbs away from being lighter than he is

he loves candy, chips, etc....but he has also decided that some of my snacks are yummy. He doesn't like diet anything either!

J3SSP3NNY

I met my man on here and he went from 315lbs->195lbs->225lbs (muscle)
Nuff said about my support system ^.^

ktbug1186

I can blab to him all day about nutrition and excercise, and he listens patiently and never seems to get tired of it. I know it has to get boring!! He told me I was beautiful before I lost any weight, and anytime I say I'm glad I don't look the way I did before, he says I was just as beautiful then as I am now. I that man of mine!!

Ellby

I didn't expect him to be as supportive as he has been because he loves food so much. I began using MFP and he got interested very quickly. He is using MFP right along with me, he LOVES the new "skinny" meals I make and he has lost more weight than me!

I knew he would cheer me on, but having him on my team. doing this with me, has made things SO much easier!

wookiemouse

My SO is just there. Couldn't care less what I'm doing, that I'm 4 sizes smaller now than I was last year, doesn't make a difference to him. He's very self-absorbed so I'm used to it.

PandaPants612

He supports me by absolutely adoring me just the way I am, and doesn't think I'm fat.

He understands that I want to lose weight and get healthier, so when we make meals, he chooses healthier things that we can cook. Same with going out to eat; I think he is starting to eat better as well as a result of this.

I feel like all the stress and pressure of losing weight is greatly reduced because I have a man who thinks Im perfect as I am and that I can only improve, so if I slip up, I wont just abandon all hope and binge like I have so many times in the past.

I *am* sick of being the bigger one in the relationship, but thats what I get for being attracted to skinny guys, lol. He is only a little taller than me (5'9", maaaaybe 5'10") and probably around 150;160. But I have a larger frame and TBH, my goal weight is more than he weighs, lol. I feel very lucky to have him

Liasings

My wife is rather supportive. When she is the one cooking she makes sure to let me know what she's cooking with and even save the wrappers so I can scan bar codes. She makes a point to use reasonable (for me) amounts of oil when cooking and when we are shopping and planning meals she is happy that we do it together so we are both on the same page.

That being said, she looks forward to my "long run" days as she can make something more calorie dense and comfort food like because I need to consume the extra calories (we still eat healthy, well mostly healthy, food, just more of it or have something that normally would push me over my calorie goals).

She hasn't begrudged me my gym time but was very happy when I've moved it to after she and our 10 month old daughter have gone to bed. She encourages me, but I have some older, very brightly colored tank-tops and shorts I'm about to fit into again and she is making fun of the fact that they cross the line from metrosexual to FAAABOLOUS!!!

Heehee! Work it, honey!

I also love your avatar. Please tell me that is a real sign and not a joke/photoshop. If it is, it's still funny, but if it's genuine-well, it's awesome with awesome sauce.

cmeade20

He is supportive by

-Whenever he gets a pizza/sub/chinese/anything unhealthy he doesn't offer me a bite (sounds mean but him not offering totally helps fortify my willpower)
-He never wines that I don't go out to eat or party as much as I used to
-Whenever I mention something positive about my workout he gives me a "hell yeah"
-Whenever I say I sucked at my workout he tells me I'll kick *kitten* next time

Liasings

My husband is supportive of me in many ways. He happily eats the healthier meals, and encourages me to work out and take care of myself. On the other hand, he likes delivery and keeps the candy jar full. I can ignore that (usually) because I'm motivated, but he and I have the same health issues and I wish he would get on board. But I can only take care of myself and at least he's not bringing Little Debbie cakes into the house like he used to. :frown:

Pink_Tina

I was the stubborn, fat, and lazy wife while my hubbs was losing weight; he lost 70 pounds. He never once tried to force me into losing weight with him. He always said "Hey, no problem. You'll do it when you do it." And I finally did. When I did, he had no problem helping me throw away my junk food and helping me eat healthy either. On top of his daily runs, he also likes to go walking with me when he's home from the field; we do a little over 3 miles each time. When we go grocery shopping, he always helps me try to find the lowest calorie food items.

I know that I am lucky in this regard and I am thankful for him every day.

LoveMyLife_NYC

I don't have a SO, but I live with my mom, who claims to be supportive and know what's best for me, but she's not helping at all. A lot of the food she buys is meat and potatoes, chocolate, ice cream... and a serving of vegetables could fit on a soup spoon. When I come home with a salad for lunch, she thinks I have an eating disorder.

I'm at a normal weight for my height, but I'm working through an injury, really want to tone up, and would love to take a martial arts class or something. I just love being active. I hired a trainer to help me out and go to the gym or go hiking almost daily. Every time I leave the house with gym clothes on, she gives me "the look" and says "again??" She thinks if I weight train, I'm going to look like a monster.

It's getting to the point where I hide my workouts because I feel guilty about taking charge of my health. I don't think she understands what healthy is...

cmeade20

I don't have a SO, but I live with my mom, who claims to be supportive and know what's best for me, but she's not helping at all. A lot of the food she buys is meat and potatoes, chocolate, ice cream... and a serving of vegetables could fit on a soup spoon. When I come home with a salad for lunch, she thinks I have an eating disorder.

I'm at a normal weight for my height, but I'm working through an injury, really want to tone up, and would love to take a martial arts class or something. I just love being active. I hired a trainer to help me out and go to the gym or go hiking almost daily. Every time I leave the house with gym clothes on, she gives me "the look" and says "again??" She thinks if I weight train, I'm going to look like a monster.

It's getting to the point where I hide my workouts because I feel guilty about taking charge of my health. I don't think she understands what healthy is...

My mom can be like that. But I kept getting slimmer and slimmer and she kept getting heavier and heavier. The other day when she realized she's put on twelve pounds in the last six months she finally decided to start watching what she eats(which means she'll hopefully leave me the hell alone!)

AlayshaJ

Meh, I don't know how to describe what my husband is. He doesn't care-ish? He hates being wrong. He likes working out and fitness as well, but I am more well read on the subject. If he says something that I think is wrong, I will point it out and he does NOT like that. He appreciates it and listens to it, but I can see it in his face that its irritating for him. He also feels like I have this whole little world and he doesn't fit in it, hobby wise. He does fit in it and I try to include him, but he can't emotionally handle it. Sounds weird, I know. You would have to know my husband... he is a very complex man. I told him I wanted to compete in a competition and he told me that he didn't want me to... because I would be gone all the time... Yeah, that doesn't make sense. One competition is mainly dedication to diet and working out. He knows it won't take a couple months of me being gone all day. He is just used to... dating betas? Thats my conclusion.

Other wise he doesn't really care.

taso42

When my wife makes something, she keeps the recipe handy (often placing it on my computer), so that I can enter everything in accurately. It's so nice that she supports my O̶C̶D̶ f̶i̶t̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶j̶o̶u̶r̶n̶e̶y̶ calorie counting.

sarahharmintx

He listens to me drone about nutrition and excecises.
He eats anything I want to make.
Most important, he told me I was beautiful and sexy every day before I started, and still does. I don't need him to be my cheerleader or follow the ame plan, but him thinking I am attractive as I am makes sooooo much difference!

Pretty much what she said.

Lift_hard_eat_big

I love to eat, my baby cakes cooks me whatever I want :-)