Attraction Question

Jules2Be

for sure.

I am attracted to guys with dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin. Not only can I not resist dark features, but it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

I hope you end up with a house full of Annie's

HA HAHA

SmexAppeal

I don't necessarily think of what my children would look like, but I do think attraction is key to some degree. Ultimately, if a long term relationship is what you are aiming at, you will be looking at said person every day for a long time. I def want to be attracted to that person, sexually, mentally and emotionally. And as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think everyone looks at people differently. Someone I may find attractive, might not be seen as so to someone else. So who knows the real answer to that question.

gogojodee

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

WifeNMama

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

ShareeMorty

t it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

ಠ_ಠ

Ditto. WTF

She obviously doesn't know gingers can be sexy too - shhh lets not pollute our gene pool

3foldchord

I wanted my children to have dangly earlobes- so it was on my 'list'-
fair skin/hair

good looks gets you in the door, but brains and personality seals the deal.

and, yes, all 3 of my boys have dangly earlobes!

j_wilson2012

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

So what you are saying, is that true beauty is on the inside? Gees...google the scale theory and find out what it is about. Also find out what the Natural selection theory is about. It is apparent in every organism. It goes way deeper than what you said. I wont cater to ignorant comments like that.

j_wilson2012

t it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

ಠ_ಠ

Ditto. WTF

She obviously doesn't know gingers can be sexy too - shhh lets not pollute our gene pool

I'm not sure about them red-headed step-children either. they are the devil!:devil: :laugh:

norcal_yogi

for sure.

I am attracted to guys with dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin. Not only can I not resist dark features, but it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

more than likely, but not guaranteed. (couldn't help but notice the adorable light colored baby you have in your ticker!).

zrmac804

In my biology classes we talked a lot about MHC - major histocompatibility complex, which is part of the immune system. It's not just about them having good genes, it's about forming a good COMBINATION of genes between ourselves and our prospective partners. In theory, the children from well-matched (genetically diverse) couples will have strong, wide-ranging immune systems that can tackle almost anything.


There's definitely a role for what's called "chemistry", we just don't know exactly what it is yet.

rdyne1

Great question. I can only speak for myself, but yes, the Scale exists. Although I believe everyone can go one higher or lower than their rating depending on things like personality, chemistry, interests etc. I'm attracted to guys I find hot but I'll date an average guy (by average I mean MY idea of average) with a great personality and sense of humour.

Josie_lifting_cats

For some of us, the personality makes or breaks the physical attractiveness nearly completely. I don't care what you look like, if you don't have a sparkle in your eye when you laugh, make me laugh, or seem smart to me, there is no hope whatsoever. And while it sounds like crap, it's so very true for me. I've dated guys of all builds, and I just am not interested if I don't find that I could enjoy all of my time with him and have fun.

That said, scale theory is largely about self image, too. Even though I've lost weight and husband claims I look better than ever, think my self image is still low overall. I still see myself as a 2 as far as looks go. I do, however, think I'm hilarious and witty and cute in a nerdy sort of way.... Which helps. But I also feel that my husband has taken huge strides in this and is now significantly higher on the scale than I am, and that's hard to deal with sometimes.

j_wilson2012

For some of us, the personality makes or breaks the physical attractiveness nearly completely. I don't care what you look like, if you don't have a sparkle in your eye when you laugh, make me laugh, or seem smart to me, there is no hope whatsoever. And while it sounds like crap, it's so very true for me. I've dated guys of all builds, and I just am not interested if I don't find that I could enjoy all of my time with him and have fun.

That said, scale theory is largely about self image, too. Even though I've lost weight and husband claims I look better than ever, think my self image is still low overall. I still see myself as a 2 as far as looks go. I do, however, think I'm hilarious and witty and cute in a nerdy sort of way.... Which helps. But I also feel that my husband has taken huge strides in this and is now significantly higher on the scale than I am, and that's hard to deal with sometimes.

that is why there are two main parts to the scale. you could be a ten, and it will be easy to meet people, but if you are two, it wont go much farther than that (unless the goal is a one night stand). But, you could look like a two, and have the personality of a ten, and never get a chance to show it, except with other 2s, as you wouldnt get a second look.

P.S.---- A guy loves it when his girl gets slimmer, for two reasons. It makes it easier for you to be on top, and it enlarges his penis! :bigsmile: Food for thought.

Laura_Suzie

There is a really good documentary on youtube in parts called "The Science of Sex Appeal". It's very interesting and explains attraction and what exactly makes others attractive to one another.

Michelle650

for sure.

I am attracted to guys with dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin. Not only can I not resist dark features, but it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

What's wrong with having ginger children?

JosieRawr

for sure.

I am attracted to guys with dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin. Not only can I not resist dark features, but it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

I love my ginger and our daughter's brunette, but I'd love to have a little ginger running around as well, and his parents are blond and dark haired.


(and as far as the genetic attraction theories go... how do same sex relationships rate? )

nalfavi

I met my ex online, and I thought he was "THE ONE". He wasn't physically attractive if we're talking about what the average magazine reading advertisement watching public finds attractive, but he wasn't an ogre either. He was tall, very slim, balding, glasses, fair skin, and blue eyes to die for. Very geeky. Ended up being a biological scientist later on. But back to the topic on hand.

I fell for him before I saw a picture of him. We talked for a month or two before we even swapped pictures, but he knew about my weight and continued to talk and want me. As for our relationship based on what our children would be like, the only thing I was really hoping for was that they had a better metabolism like their would-be father than me! Also, the bonus of them having my dark hair and his blue eyes, which I think is a striking combination.

Sex was great. I enjoyed it not because of what he looked like, but how he made me feel, and to me it was, yes, fun, but also just another way for us to bond and share something intimate. And try out kinky ****, but that's for another post

WifeNMama

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

So what you are saying, is that true beauty is on the inside? Gees...google the scale theory and find out what it is about. Also find out what the Natural selection theory is about. It is apparent in every organism. It goes way deeper than what you said. I wont cater to ignorant comments like that.

I wasn't commenting on scale theory or natural selection, which I'm familiar and well-versed in (it ain't rocket surgery), but the meaning of actual totem poles, carved by Native Americans. The other girl's comment suggested that higher spots on a totem were "better" spots, when really it's the opposite. And, in fact, you did cater to a comment you saw as ignorant, since you responded and all.

j_wilson2012

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

So what you are saying, is that true beauty is on the inside? Gees...google the scale theory and find out what it is about. Also find out what the Natural selection theory is about. It is apparent in every organism. It goes way deeper than what you said. I wont cater to ignorant comments like that.

I wasn't commenting on scale theory or natural selection, which I'm familiar and well-versed in (it ain't rocket surgery), but the meaning of actual totem poles, carved by Native Americans. The other girl's comment suggested that higher spots on a totem were "better" spots, when really it's the opposite. And, in fact, you did cater to a comment you saw as ignorant, since you responded and all.

Haha.......Well, I guess I was out of place. My apologies. I rescind that comment.

PittShkr

Did you try taking a poop? Works for me.

UsedToBeHusky

My theory about natural selection in humans has nothing to do with mate selection. My theory is (and I may catch flack for this) but if you die because you did something stupid... that my friends is natural selection in humans.

Matt_Wild

Its an interesting one. I'd agree in part with it because I in part base my goals on women I think I can attract, which over time has evolved.

However it has evolved as I've grown bigger and the women I can 'choose' has changed. So, in part it is also down to social standing on my part and her part as well and how both partners consider how others will consider them in front of other people.

At 168lb stone I didn't attract many good lookers, at 250lb I attracted women I'd consider miles out of my league 5 years ago.

So its not all that simple - social and physical needs must be considered among others - I'd have never have attracted http://www.myfitnesspal.com/xprincessx25 at my old weight/look.

Brandicaloriecountess

So I guess I see this on two different sides since I have been overweight and traditionally "less attractive" and more fit, so traditionally "more attractive".

I never really had a problem meeting people even before, because of my kick *kitten* personality and modesty BUT I found that people got to know ME then became interested. Now it's strange because I find people are noticing my looks first, sometimes shamelessly and it's weird, different and I don't know how to handle it lol!

I have found that people become more or less attractive to me as I get to know them though. If they have a great personality I find myself thinking wow, hot. Or if they are dumb, rude or just boring I'm like ummmmmmm okay....

zgochenour

Humans definitely follow assortative mating. There are many universally desirable traits -- good looks, income potential, intelligence, positive attitude, etc that ceteris paribus increase your mate value. On the other hand there are selectively desirable traits like shared interests, religious views, type of humor that different folks will value differently. And of course even among universally desirable traits, different folks have different preferences when making tradeoffs between them. The market is very interesting because it's primarily a barter market (pride prices and dowries notwithstanding) and there's tons of weird signalling rituals and such that humans and other animals have come up with.. fascinating really

I actually just gave a "market for mates" lecture to my class last week, and they were highly entertaining. I made sure I put in plenty of self-deprecating humor about how unlikely it was that I of all people would be lecturing people on dating and marriage strategy.. but I think they learned a lot. Trying to come up with an interesting exam question on the topic now.

WifeNMama

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

So what you are saying, is that true beauty is on the inside? Gees...google the scale theory and find out what it is about. Also find out what the Natural selection theory is about. It is apparent in every organism. It goes way deeper than what you said. I wont cater to ignorant comments like that.

I wasn't commenting on scale theory or natural selection, which I'm familiar and well-versed in (it ain't rocket surgery), but the meaning of actual totem poles, carved by Native Americans. The other girl's comment suggested that higher spots on a totem were "better" spots, when really it's the opposite. And, in fact, you did cater to a comment you saw as ignorant, since you responded and all.

Haha.......Well, I guess I was out of place. My apologies. I rescind that comment.

No worries. :-)

True beauty is the character of the person, but you still have to dangle some outer "bait", if you will.

But outer beauty is a concept that changes with each culture, fashion, economical trends, etc. Whatever trait shows higher economic and social status generally becomes a standard of beauty. Back in the day, women who were plump and pale were hot stuff because it showed they were well taken care of, did not lack food, and did not have to work outside at manual labour. Now in North America, if you're tan and skinny, you must have the free time to tan, which means you probably have a well paying job, and you have the money to pay for a gym membership. :-P

sunshine_gem

My theory about natural selection in humans has nothing to do with mate selection. My theory is (and I may catch flack for this) but if you die because you did something stupid... that my friends is natural selection in humans.

Haha! I totally agree!

Oh and to the woman saying she doesn't want her children to be gingers, we're gonna take over the world eventually. Get used to it.

rdyne1

Humans definitely follow assortative mating. There are many universally desirable traits -- good looks, income potential, intelligence, positive attitude, etc that ceteris paribus increase your mate value. On the other hand there are selectively desirable traits like shared interests, religious views, type of humor that different folks will value differently. And of course even among universally desirable traits, different folks have different preferences when making tradeoffs between them. The market is very interesting because it's primarily a barter market (pride prices and dowries notwithstanding) and there's tons of weird signalling rituals and such that humans and other animals have come up with.. fascinating really

I actually just gave a "market for mates" lecture to my class last week, and they were highly entertaining. I made sure I put in plenty of self-deprecating humor about how unlikely it was that I of all people would be lecturing people on dating and marriage strategy.. but I think they learned a lot. Trying to come up with an interesting exam question on the topic now.

See, I find this attractive, because he's a) smart, b) obviously loves his job and c) has the confidence to speak in front of crowds.
I always have a thing for teachers/superiors, how is that natural selection?

fiberartist219

I have found among my friends that beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. There are certain guys that my friends find to be hot, and I think they are fugly. We just don't agree on who is attractive. Granted, there are some dudes, that almost all of us can agree are NOT hot, but the ones that we swoon over vary greatly.

Personally, I have to have the hots for someone if I'm going to date them. It's funny, because the last guy to ask me out before my husband I rejected, and all the reasons I gave him were total crap. "I don't want to ruin our friendship" blah blah baloney! I was friends with the hubs and I dated him because he was hot. I can't help it. Either I'm attracted or I'm not.

Keep in mind, while this seems shallow, I do believe in some sort of natural selection. I think that if we are genetically related to someone, they don't smell as enticing to us as someone who is not related. I have been attracted to a variety of physical features, but the common denominator is that the guy cannot look like my dad or my brother, and he can't look like me.

Sorry gingers! I am one too, and I can't date one.

marketdimlylit

I saw ginge hate!

fiberartist219

Oh, and for the record, neither of my parents had red hair. :glasses: