Depression and Motivation

Baychick

Wow this really hit me. I went through depression and am still struggling with it after me and my ex split up.

Fasbold

This is a tough situation. I understand where you are coming from, not identical scenarios, but going through and being divorced sucks. I hope that you are able to reconcile. Just be patient and work through the emotions.

The hardest part in these situations, for me anyway, is that old saying, "It is ok to feel the way you feel, but it is your choice how you react to those feelings." I hate that saying, but it is true. We all struggle with our down times. It is too easy to make it an excuse to do nothing productive. For me, years of using the tough emotional situations be an excuse to become a fat person makes it all to easy to fall back in that rut. But by sticking with it and exercising and eating right, just feeling better alone helps motivate me to do better.

I also like the advice of beating up a punching bag. I always tell people that I'm divorced because I didn't want to go to prison. There are healthy ways to take out anger, aggression, sadness, etc. that will benefit both physically and emotionally.

You can do this!

Stick to your guns and do what is best for you. It sucks right now, but a year or two from now you can look back at this time and be glad you toughed it out.

EricaLynn813

depression sucks I recently loss my mom who was my best friend and now that she is gone i feel so alone I have plenty of friends and family but no one is my mom. the last few weeks I have been pushing myself to workout hard so that I can get back down to a healthy weight but it is so hard especially while I am still fighting with this depression and recovery from a knee injury. everyone tells me the pain will ease and I feel human again but as each day goes on I find myself feeling worse.....

farmers_daughter

I didn't read all the replies so I'm just answering your question from my own experience:

But first of all please....take the time and DO cry, allow yourself to grieve your loss. You did suffer a loss, and it's ok to mourn it. Ball up and cry, cry hard....then one day when the tears don't flow so easily do something each day to move forward.

I started with music therapy, get a play list of some really upbeat songs that talk about being strong and independent. You have to mentally move forward before you can physically move forward.

Play it loud, play it often, this tends to wash out the lingering "wishy washy, I wanna cry" feelings.

Next it's hard to describe this but "feel free". Concentrate on how you, yourself, and I will get up and live your life for YOU!

Katy Perry has a really good song out, called Wide Awake, when you have fallen off of Cloud Nine, and hit the concrete, give yourself some time to catch your breath and slowly get up and walk away. You can take your time lying there, nobody's going to rush you, and don't let them. If you want to stay on the concrete that's ok. Just realize your not in the cloud anymore. It wasn't your fault, you did nothing to deserve this, and you will be fine.

Repeat repeat repeat.....I will be fine. And believe it.

Edit: Oh yes, and above all...time....it's a cliche but time heals, it really does.

NikkiSixGuns

Man, my heart breaks for you. I know where you're coming from and it is a terrible, dark place. I will share with you that some days won't feel so bad, and others will really reeeeeally stink. Have faith that it's all part of the process and it will NOT be like this forever. MANY HUGS TO YOU.

As other posters have said, the best medicine is counter-intuitive. When you don't feel like doing diddly squat, that's the best time to get up and move. Do something - anything - but sit still and think.

I took up running and I discovered that it's wonderful therapy. You don't even have to be good at it. It didn't make everything go away and it wasn't a miracle cure, but it got me to a better place where I could see things from a more realistic perspective. It helped me cope with all my emotions.

After a while I learned that no matter how slow I ran, I could always outrun my emotions! Knowing that was helpful, but there were still tons of days when I wanted to just curl up and stop breathing. Those days took all I had for me to get my shoes on and go.

What worked for me when I'd get to that dark place was to bargain with myself. I'd tell myself, "OK. You can wallow here for 10 minutes. Feel the emotions and let them out. Be pissed and sad and feel crappy about it all. Then get outside and do something good for yourself."

Every day that you get up and keep going is a day you put between you and the whole mess. With time it will get easier to cope.

Keep your chin up as much as you can - you're stronger than you think you are.

jackspack

You gotta take it one day at a time. Tomorrow will be better. You will come through this a stronger, better person. His affair had nothing to do with you. It is completely his own demons that caused it. That is not an excuse - that his just how this crap happens. I struggle with this too, so I understand.

For me, talking to others who understand (have been there and done that) helps tremendously.

I didn't read any other replies - but take the best of the best and run with them.

You need to get in shape for you. Not him. (Plus you gotta outrun the zombies!)

And remember yoda.