I got dumped last night

JeffInBuckeyeNation
JeffInBuckeyeNation Posts: 91 Member
in Motivation and Support
Don't worry, this isn't a self-pity post. Maybe just a little....but not too heavy on it.

She was the girl I crushed on in high school, and we reconnected last year. We decided to stay away from each other while her divorce was finalizing, and stayed in touch with each other very sparingly. The little time I got to speak with her was always precious, and I thought I was giving her the space she needed.

But apparently not - despite not seeing her since Christmas, she said she feels smothered. I believe that she is transferring her image of her ex-husband onto me, and perhaps freaking out a bit.....but whatever the case, it's broken my heart.

And I am not mad at her - I don;t hate her, I don't resent her. I love the woman, so I can't speak ill of her.

I wasn't losing the weight for her (I was losing it for ME), but she hasn't seen me since I was in the 260's. I was hoping to see her face when she got a look at my 206-pound body. Sadly, that won't happen now.

Hey, at least I'll keep losing weight - I have no appetite, and feel like running a 10K or two this weekend. (Don't worry, you guys, I will not starve myself)

But maybe you guys can cheer me up a bit?

Jeff
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Replies

  • fabandfunat51
    fabandfunat51 Posts: 117 Member
    Seriously. . . It's HER loss! :flowerforyou:
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Def. her loss and I'd be sure to show her the new you just as a oh sorry, but you lose :)
  • mhuch110
    mhuch110 Posts: 130 Member
    Sorry to hear this, but it's her loss. Perhaps she just wasn't ready to jump into another relationship so soon after her divorce. And who knows, maybe you'll reconnect again. Until then, keep doing what you're doing....you are looking great! You'll have your pick of girls and find the right one for you! Just remember to stay on track with your eating and exercising....all good stuff!

    Good luck!

    BTW....Love Cincy....I'm a Miami grad! :)

    ~Megan
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    I'm really sorry to read your sad post. I lost a big part of my heart to someone 26 years ago and, I hate to tell you, that I've never really got over him. Maybe she will come back.....if she's the right one for you then I hope and pray that that is the case. Don't allow your sadness to turn you to food, use it as motivation to spur you one. With very best wishes x
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
    She sounds like she is a bit mixed up. It's probably better for you (healthier) that you go your way and let her figure some things out. And I agree, it is her loss.
  • svazquez820
    svazquez820 Posts: 88 Member
    i'm sorry but like everyone has and will tell you--it really is her loss. Just keep on trucking your doing great from what I see on your picture and ticker.

    Best!
  • cutchro
    cutchro Posts: 396 Member
    Great job on the loss...weight that is! :drinker: As far as the woman... if it was meant to be... it will be. Good luck.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Go running!! Get sexier!! Find a better woman! ;) Best wishes!
  • snapbackkay
    snapbackkay Posts: 3
    awwh sorry to hear but I would definitely send her a email saying you wish her the best of luck and then include a pic of the new improved you:) Take this as a extra motivator everything happens for a reason and if shes for you she will come back :happy:
  • PhillyTD
    PhillyTD Posts: 375 Member
    The sting will linger but eventually dissipate. You'll always look back at the experience in a good light and build from it. Rock on bro.
  • Beautiful_Ideal
    Beautiful_Ideal Posts: 69 Member
    I'm happily with a guy named Jeff and I highly recommend them, ladies! Haha.

    But really, so sorry to hear about your breakup. They can be so painful and you did sound invested in her, and your relationship. Still, you have a lot of positives going for you right now - your exercise, your weight loss, etc - and it always helps to accentuate the positive. Good job so far! Keep it going!
  • GoldenGirl1979
    GoldenGirl1979 Posts: 716 Member
    oh no, that's too bad :ohwell: but everything happens for a reason... & in other news, your 206 lb body looks great!! keep up the great work :drinker:
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    sorry, that sucks :cry:
  • archadtz
    archadtz Posts: 33 Member
    I am sorry :( She is probably going through mixed emotions with the divorce... and you certainly don't want to be her 'rebound'. Give her some time, keep in touch, and be her friend, and I can almost guarantee she'll come around. My friend just went through this with a recently divorced man. Almost a year later, they are happily together.
  • Logsv
    Logsv Posts: 36
    Just focus all those thoughts into your workout and let all the feelings go. For me it always helps to get my heart rate up and just feel my body working. It will take your mind off everything and help you zen out. Good luck!!
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Sorry you got dumped :-(

    But getting involved with a woman as she is getting divorced brings a lot of baggage into the relationship, she probably needs time to be herself again before she puts herself in another relationship. Maybe try reconnecting in 6 months or so, after she's had some time to rebound for real?
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    She may have a lot going on in her mind right now and doesn't know how to properly react to the attention. Give her some time and maybe try to message her in a month or so?
  • rachelfaith92
    rachelfaith92 Posts: 202 Member
    You are looking AMAZING! Don't sell yourself short. Give her some space and once she sees you aren't dependent on her and dating and having fun, I guarantee you'll be hearing and seeing her. Either that or tell her you would like to grab lunch or coffee and just have a talk about where things are going, "as friends" and once she sees you maybe that will be all it takes. Good luck and keep up the great work!
  • Sassy922
    Sassy922 Posts: 399 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that.
  • ElleBee615
    ElleBee615 Posts: 177
    Breakups....amicable or not....suck! :frown:


    Maybe it's not a permanent thing?? :ohwell: But like someone else said, things happen for a reason...and you look great!


    Sorry I don't have an awesome joke to cheer you up...so I come bearing virtual gifts. :flowerforyou:
  • NoFatChick2
    NoFatChick2 Posts: 25
    It's not the right time for her. You sound like a really great guy, so don't be too hard on yourself. Your comments about her are so sweet. Keep taking care of yourself. You deserve it!
  • timadotcom
    timadotcom Posts: 653 Member
    There's going to come a time, where you will run into her again in the future and you WILL get to see her reaction after she looks at your awesome transformation! Keep up your hard work!
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    So sorry. I know how you feel!
  • JeffInBuckeyeNation
    JeffInBuckeyeNation Posts: 91 Member
    Thank you, everyone - I needed this. Also, thank you for not attacking her. That's sweet of you all.
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    If she is feeling smothered and you haven't contacted her since christmas then it sounds like she has a few things to work out within herself. I wouldn't rule out the chances the two of you have, but I would let her have time to work all of her stuff out.

    In the meantime it just gives you more time to get even hotter. And once she is on more of an even keel within herself that will make the two of you in an even better place to decide to start something, or to be really good friends, because from what you wrote, you sound like someone who is a good friend to people.

    Have a great day!
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    I am sorry, break ups are hard for BOTH people. But you know what, just keep focusing on you, and getting to your goals and let the rest fall into place.

    It could be too soon after her divorce. It took me a long time to be ready to be in a relationship after mine and even then I wasn't ready.

    Hugs
  • cmayoung
    cmayoung Posts: 38 Member
    Trust me, after you get past the sadness, you will wake up one day and realize you two were not really right for each other and you will be happy for unanswered prayers. As for now, make a playlist to get you worked up and keep you motivated at the gym. Recommendations....
    Since You've Been Gone - kelly Clarkson
    Stronger - Christina Aguliara
    Not Meant to Be - Theory of a Deadman
    Irreplaceable- Beyonce
    Cry Me a River- Justin Timberlake

    You get the idea. Not songs that will make you sad, but more of the "screw this, I deserve the best" type music! Good Luck!
  • supermumincanada
    supermumincanada Posts: 59 Member
    Hugs to you, it's her loss, just keep doing what your doing, I know it 's easier said than done xo
  • jshashaty
    jshashaty Posts: 33 Member
    She will realize one day that it was the biggest mistake of her life. Remember her loss will eventually be your gain. Having raw feelings is a tough thing to overcome; and I don't want to give you the cliche of time heals all wounds, because it doesn't. One day at a time and healing will come.

    Hang in there and remember her loss....
    If you need me, I'm here---just friend me.
    Peace,
    Jackie
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Jeff. You are worth so much more than someone like this. She has a lot in her head and her heart to deal with and at this time she apparently couldnt spare any more space for anything more serious.

    Use the time and the sting to throw yourself into your weight loss and workouts. Giving anyone the power over you to stop you on your path isnt a good thing and I just dont see you doing that. You appear very sincere and level headed.

    I wish you enough......

    "Walk toward the light til you find the sun"

    100_0269.jpg

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