WE NEED TO STOP!!
Replies
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Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Not me. I'm all for the cold hard truth, feelings be damned.
Bashing doesn't mean truth. It means refusal to believe that anyone doesn't think the way you do (e.g. the body we all desire). Not everyone desires the same body.
Bashing is also an accusation commonly thrown when someone hears something personal which they don't like.
Ha. If that's directed at me for wanting an end to Body Bashing then you're way off. <stuff>
Nope. It was directed at what many really mean when they accuse folks of bashing something which hits home a little too them personally. In that context I object to the original statement which I quoted (and can be seen in this post).
Criticism can be constructive and helpful, and in this context could save someone from potential health issues. And if healthy criticism is considered by some to be "bashing", then I do not want to see "an end to body bashing of ANY type!"0 -
I totally hear you... I've been on both ends of weight extremes I struggled with eating disorders all my life. I just don't need my friends and family saying that i'm fine the way I am. My knees kill me, my back is always hurting and it's all due to being almost 50 lbs overweight. What it finally took was a dear friend to tell me that "Netta i'm tired of heahe excuses, you're in all this pain because the choices you made, you're the only one who can change it, no magic pill, no personal trainer, just pure commitment and dedication" "you are NOT curvy girl, you're fat" It was way harsh, but exactly what I needed.0
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Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Bumping.
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Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Not me. I'm all for the cold hard truth, feelings be damned.
I wish others had been more honest with me as I'd been gaining weight. I probably wouldn't now be half way through a year long diet if I had smartened up a couple of years ago..
And why is the onus on others to tell YOU that you're gaining weight, etc.... it is not their fault that you chose to ignore the clothes getting tighter etc... lol hows that for cold hard truth
All kidding aside, if someone is confident no matter what their size that is great I am jealous of that confidence, but even greater if they can use some of that confidence/energy to making themselves healthier... no body bashing. People should stop tearing each other down and help build/boost people up, aim to motivate & inspire each other
cheers!
Cheers for a well-written post!0 -
People with body fat % in the range of 24-27 will mostly still have love handles and small pockets of fat on thighs and stomachs. That is a very acceptable and generally healthy level of BF%. I personally want to be in that 18-20% range, but I know a lot of people that would be happy in the 24-27% range and don't think that they are fooling themselves at all. A lot of people think women look better "soft" than "athletic". Why do we have to put that down?0
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I was not aware that 'curves' meant 'love handles' and 'saddlebags'.0
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I think the key thing about constructive criticism that is intended to help improve someone's health, is the role of the person giving that "advice". Concerned family member, fair enough, even concerned friend maybe. Health professional, fine. Random person on the street, at a party, on an internet forum, if not asked for said opinions, no thanks.0
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Sorry should also say, I wasn't suggesting the OP was doing as described, as she has said she was more speaking of herself and wanting to make a new start and recognise what she personally needs to do to be healthy and happy, and that's great well done.0
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Just to make myself clear and to not further offend people, when i was referring to "love handles and saddle bags" as "curves" it was meant from a first person perspective. I had friends and family telling me i was curvy because of my love handles and saddle bags.0
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To quote something I recently read here on the forums (I forget who said it)
"Hairpins through the mountains = awesome
One big circle around the lake = not so awesome"0 -
I think what started out as saying J Lo and Kim Kardashian are curvy and curvy is beautiful turned into some people thinking fat rolls are curves. I can't believe some of the tiny little shorts and crop tops on girls that are way beyond curvy. I am curvy, but I know what is flattering on me and don't wear stuff that isn't. I am definitely not into body bashing at all. I just think there is some middle ground here. Morbidly obese people may certainly be curvy, but that doesn't mean they should think well I am just curvy and curvy is fine. Curvy is fine, but morbidly obese is a death sentence and we shouldn't have people embracing slowing killing themselves with food. Healthy people come in all shapes and sizes too, we won't all be stick thin when we are a perfectly healthy weight for ourselves. But when you are healthy, then you can embrace your curves.0
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Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
This.
Although as I have been losing weight, I discovered that I do have an hourglass shape! I never knew that as I gained the weight right at puberty so I never knew what my womanly shape was. So now, I'm an hourglass with some extra minutes I'd like to trim down. But in the meantime, I'm doing my best not to bash my own curves and feel good about the progress I have made. 57 pounds is a lot and I shouldn't make myself miserable just because I'm not at my goal yet. 0 -
I embraced my curves. I embraced my love handles and my rolls and my flab and my fat. I came to accept it and to understand it. I may have even come to love it for a while.
But that's what I needed to do in order to overcome my depression and gain the confidence to drop the excess weight. Until I could look in the mirror without putting myself down, there was no way for me to stick to a diet for more than a week. Until I could objectively understand why I felt I needed to be fat, there was no way to keep myself from binging. No way to break the cycle of depression and weight gain.
I knew I was fat. There was no escaping that fact for me. I knew that society looked down on me and that I was risking my health. It ate at me psychologically for my entire adult life. And having someone tear me down or "be honest" with me would have surely sent me back into the cozy arms of my flab and a tub of Ben & Jerry's faster than a bad break-up.
Maybe some of you need to be told the truth, but leave me out of it. I'll be over here with my fat-positive friends and a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.0 -
I say if someone loves the way they look even with fat on their bones, more power to them. Some people have more confidence at my start weight then I do now at my current weight. I envy that! I think people who are happy need to quit being told they should be something they don't want to be. I chose to lose weight for myself because I was not happy where I was, I didn't do it because I was told I was fat, and trust me I was a lot, now that I am thin I am told I shouldn't lose more weight, I'm not done I'll do what I think is best for me. I hope everyone does what makes them feel good about themselves, people who embrace the curves you mention, may be something that makes them happy.0
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I agree!!!!0
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Well the thing is, there is a difference between CURVES and FAT, and a lot of overweight people say that they're curvy, to get around saying they're fat lol. I agree to that point.
However you can have curves and have fat, too! It depends on your body type whether or not you have curves, but depending on how overweight one is, it might cover up those curves. I definitely need to lose some fat, but I do have curves. I embrace my curves, NOT my fat lol!0 -
Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
THIS THIS THIS. Love yourself at any type. Never give up in the journey to be healthy tho!
Our poor daughters are growing up at a very young age and knowing that they are already not good enough.... makes me sad.0 -
Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Agreed!0 -
Wow. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me want to cry.
Let me tell you guys a story. I've never been "thin". I'm five foot one, and my lowest weight was 110. Even then I wasn't "thin". I still had a little belly and a wide butt. However, I was that thin due to the fact that I had undiagnosed crohn's disease. I always ate healthy, but my healthiest time was when I weighed about 135. Fast forward 15 years. I've had two children, and managed to lose most of the baby weight with diet, exercise, and healthy living. I spent 5-6 days a week in the gym, ate lots of fruit, veggies, and lean protein. Stayed away from white food, and avoided sweets.
Then I got sick. I got sicker and sicker. One day I go to the doctor and faint in front of the receptionist's desk. The next day, my 32nd birthday, I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. This has been devastating for me. I've had 8 abdominal surgeries due to my illness, and I've been put on 70 pounds due to forced inactivity and medication. I had over 50 hospital stays, and had to take such horrible drugs as prednisone, entocort, and solumedrol. Those drugs caused me to gain 70 pounds, made me anxious and jittery, caused anxiety and mood changes, and gave me "moon face" and swollen fingers. I've had many friends tell me that they wouldn't take such drugs, and I've had to take them in order to live to the next day.
I've had many people point out the "cold hard truth." Many people have felt the need to point out the painfully obvious: that I'm fat, a fat assed *****, jiggly, have a muffin top, have a "buffalo hump" on the back of my neck. Point out the stretch marks and the fat round face that is the hallmark of prednisone.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that before one makes a judgement about whether a person is "disgusting" because they have a muffin top or folds, a person should think carefully. How do you know if someone you see on the street is fat due to a medical issue, or medication, or because of unhealthy living? You don't know. You might not know these things about a friend or family member if they choose to keep these things private.
Today I am in remission, and the healthiest I've been since 2006. I dealt with horrible health issues during the wake of losing my home during hurricane Katrina. I won, and I am doing everything possible to recover my health and to live "clean" and well. Yet still I feel like I'm facing judgement even from people who are dealing with weight issues themselves.0 -
Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Quoted for truth!0 -
I would be mortified if my boobs and hips disappeared!0
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Wow. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me want to cry.
Let me tell you guys a story. I've never been "thin". I'm five foot one, and my lowest weight was 110. Even then I wasn't "thin". I still had a little belly and a wide butt. However, I was that thin due to the fact that I had undiagnosed crohn's disease. I always ate healthy, but my healthiest time was when I weighed about 135. Fast forward 15 years. I've had two children, and managed to lose most of the baby weight with diet, exercise, and healthy living. I spent 5-6 days a week in the gym, ate lots of fruit, veggies, and lean protein. Stayed away from white food, and avoided sweets.
Then I got sick. I got sicker and sicker. One day I go to the doctor and faint in front of the receptionist's desk. The next day, my 32nd birthday, I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. This has been devastating for me. I've had 8 abdominal surgeries due to my illness, and I've been put on 70 pounds due to forced inactivity and medication. I had over 50 hospital stays, and had to take such horrible drugs as prednisone, entocort, and solumedrol. Those drugs caused me to gain 70 pounds, made me anxious and jittery, caused anxiety and mood changes, and gave me "moon face" and swollen fingers. I've had many friends tell me that they wouldn't take such drugs, and I've had to take them in order to live to the next day.
I've had many people point out the "cold hard truth." Many people have felt the need to point out the painfully obvious: that I'm fat, a fat assed *****, jiggly, have a muffin top, have a "buffalo hump" on the back of my neck. Point out the stretch marks and the fat round face that is the hallmark of prednisone.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that before one makes a judgement about whether a person is "disgusting" because they have a muffin top or folds, a person should think carefully. How do you know if someone you see on the street is fat due to a medical issue, or medication, or because of unhealthy living? You don't know. You might not know these things about a friend or family member if they choose to keep these things private.
Today I am in remission, and the healthiest I've been since 2006. I dealt with horrible health issues during the wake of losing my home during hurricane Katrina. I won, and I am doing everything possible to recover my health and to live "clean" and well. Yet still I feel like I'm facing judgement even from people who are dealing with weight issues themselves.
First off, let me say that I sympathize with your story and am so glad you are on the mend. Yay you! But I think you're misunderstanding the OP. To me, this isn't about judging anyone. It's about this delusional assumption that fat somehow equals curves and sexy. It doesn't. Wide hips, an ample chest and a small waist = curvy. If you have rolls and look like a tin of biscuits left in a hot car when you get dressed, that is not curvy, that is fat. HOWEVER, that does not make you fair game for ridicule, judgement or hatred. It just makes you fat. Some people are fat. Some are skinny. Most are somewhere in between. Nobody deserves judgement at whatever size they are, and everyone needs to be in touch with reality.0 -
Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!
Not me. I'm all for the cold hard truth, feelings be damned.
I wish others had been more honest with me as I'd been gaining weight. I probably wouldn't now be half way through a year long diet if I had smartened up a couple of years ago..
And why is the onus on others to tell YOU that you're gaining weight, etc.... it is not their fault that you chose to ignore the clothes getting tighter etc... lol hows that for cold hard truth
All kidding aside, if someone is confident no matter what their size that is great I am jealous of that confidence, but even greater if they can use some of that confidence/energy to making themselves healthier... no body bashing. People should stop tearing each other down and help build/boost people up, aim to motivate & inspire each other
cheers!
Cheers for a well-written post!
lol thanks! 0 -
From the view point of a man:
Curves = awesome
Folds = disgusting
My husband says this all the time. Men are nine times out of ten more truthful than women when it comes to the whole "curve" debate. There's a big difference between having "curves" and just being round.0 -
Wow. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me want to cry.
Let me tell you guys a story. I've never been "thin". I'm five foot one, and my lowest weight was 110. Even then I wasn't "thin". I still had a little belly and a wide butt. However, I was that thin due to the fact that I had undiagnosed crohn's disease. I always ate healthy, but my healthiest time was when I weighed about 135. Fast forward 15 years. I've had two children, and managed to lose most of the baby weight with diet, exercise, and healthy living. I spent 5-6 days a week in the gym, ate lots of fruit, veggies, and lean protein. Stayed away from white food, and avoided sweets.
Then I got sick. I got sicker and sicker. One day I go to the doctor and faint in front of the receptionist's desk. The next day, my 32nd birthday, I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. This has been devastating for me. I've had 8 abdominal surgeries due to my illness, and I've been put on 70 pounds due to forced inactivity and medication. I had over 50 hospital stays, and had to take such horrible drugs as prednisone, entocort, and solumedrol. Those drugs caused me to gain 70 pounds, made me anxious and jittery, caused anxiety and mood changes, and gave me "moon face" and swollen fingers. I've had many friends tell me that they wouldn't take such drugs, and I've had to take them in order to live to the next day.
I've had many people point out the "cold hard truth." Many people have felt the need to point out the painfully obvious: that I'm fat, a fat assed *****, jiggly, have a muffin top, have a "buffalo hump" on the back of my neck. Point out the stretch marks and the fat round face that is the hallmark of prednisone.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that before one makes a judgement about whether a person is "disgusting" because they have a muffin top or folds, a person should think carefully. How do you know if someone you see on the street is fat due to a medical issue, or medication, or because of unhealthy living? You don't know. You might not know these things about a friend or family member if they choose to keep these things private.
Today I am in remission, and the healthiest I've been since 2006. I dealt with horrible health issues during the wake of losing my home during hurricane Katrina. I won, and I am doing everything possible to recover my health and to live "clean" and well. Yet still I feel like I'm facing judgement even from people who are dealing with weight issues themselves.
First off, let me say that I sympathize with your story and am so glad you are on the mend. Yay you! But I think you're misunderstanding the OP. To me, this isn't about judging anyone. It's about this delusional assumption that fat somehow equals curves and sexy. It doesn't. Wide hips, an ample chest and a small waist = curvy. If you have rolls and look like a tin of biscuits left in a hot car when you get dressed, that is not curvy, that is fat. HOWEVER, that does not make you fair game for ridicule, judgement or hatred. It just makes you fat. Some people are fat. Some are skinny. Most are somewhere in between. Nobody deserves judgement at whatever size they are, and everyone needs to be in touch with reality.
^^This. OP is trying to say that we need to stop telling OURSELVES that we're just curvy. She doesn't mean we need to go around and tell fat people that they're fat, not curvy.0 -
No, I am not telling anyone to ridicule another for being fat!! That is like the pot calling the kettle black!! Who am I to point fingers at anyone while i'm sitting here with my muffin top?! I, for many years was being dilusional about my body image calling my self "curvy" to cover up the fact I was in reality fat!! To be honest I am a person who looks to the inside for beauty, I do not judge people as being ugly just because they have a little fluff!! I guess the point i'm trying to make is that for us to change our body image is to be more realistic about our current health and not let anyone or ourselves sugar coat it!! I am also not telling anyone to do as my friend did and let someone know that they're a cow (which by the way made me cry myself to sleep for weeks). I also realize others have a past that lead them to where they're at today, I know from experience how easily your overall health can spiral out of control. I was physically, emotionally, sexually abused and neglected throughout my whole childhood. I obsessed over food because at the time that was the only thing I could control. I was anorexic and painfully thin. Today i'm at the opposite end of that spectrum in 2008 I was diagnosed with cancer, 2 years before that I had to deliver a still born baby girl at 23 weeks gestation, a year after that one of my twin boys passed away. I ate and slept my life away I gained 55 pounds in 3 months (mind you I am only 4ft 10in) so not much room to spread out. So believe me I know how life can deal you a bad hand. So, I hope all of you understand, this post was absolutely not intened to offend or hurt anyone, it was simply to share my experience and to show people what it took for me to get my mind, body and soul back on track!!0
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From the view point of a man:
Curves = awesome
Folds = disgusting
My husband says this all the time. Men are nine times out of ten more truthful than women when it comes to the whole "curve" debate. There's a big difference between having "curves" and just being round.
That's 'cause we're wired to tell at a glance!
And useless at keeping our mouths shut. 0 -
Seriously, i'm tired of the whole embrace your curves (love handles and saddle bags) crock of crap!! I'm not saying I wanna be a rail, but let's be honest people, the curves most of you are talking about is pure unadulterated fat not the hourglass figure!!
HAHA LOL0 -
Personally, I'm tired of "embracing" my curves everytime I bend down....or fold my arms....or to be quite honest, I would love to clap my hands and not hear an echo from my boobs!!! :laugh:
LOL0
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