My Daughter

gjsmommy

How you handle this now is going to set the path with your daughter's relationship with food for the rest of her life. Teach; don't nag. Provide; don't restrict. Encourage; don't create fear. Build up; don't destroy.

THIS is great advice AndiJoy812!

mynameiscarrie

I'm sorry, but are you insane? Seriously. Your daughter is ELEVEN. My sisters didn't lose their baby fat until they were almost 15. Wait til she gets through puberty before you start talking about her being unhealthy. 115 at 4'10" and ELEVEN YEARS OLD is not a big deal. Her body is going to change a lot.

That said, instilling healthy habits is good--NOT because you think she's overweight (because she's not) but because that's something that parents should teach their children anyways. Keep promoting health when she's with you and she'll learn. If you want to get her into a sport, fine, but don't do it because you think your daughter is chunky. Let her do it if she wants to.

chocl8girl

I'm not ENTIRELY sure that 115 pounds is really THAT much overweight for her age. I have an 11 year old son who is 5'0" and weighed in at 100 pounds yesterday, and he has not an ounce of fat on him. The focus for this age should NEVER be to LOSE weight, especially if they are not that much overweight to begin with. The focus should be to get them moving, and start them thinking about and enjoying healthy foods. They are still growing, so in the process of that growth, along with the movement and education, they will catch up to their weight appropriately. Don't be critical of her eating or her weight. Encourage her to get out and ride bikes or take walks or swim with you. Make healthy eating fun. Love her for who she is, no matter what size she is, and help her to love herself.

dad106

Well of course she loves all that stuff... She's 11 for crying out loud! What 11 yr old wouldn't want to live on McDonalds and Taco Bell if they could?

My suggestion is to leave your daughter alone... 115 at 4'10, when she is still growing, is hardly overweight. Plus as her body keeps changing, so will the weight.. so what seems "overweight" and "unhealthy" to you now, may be fine a few years down the

gleechick609

Well of course she loves all that stuff... She's 11 for crying out loud! What 11 yr old wouldn't want to live on McDonalds and Taco Bell if they could?

My suggestion is to leave your daughter alone... 115 at 4'10, when she is still growing, is hardly overweight. Plus as her body keeps changing, so will the weight.. so what seems "overweight" and "unhealthy" to you now, may be fine a few years down the

I second this.

b1t3m3

Don't focus on the scale. Re-enforce that her weight doesn't matter - HEALTH does. If your daughter is eating junk food regularily then that's not healthy, and she's missing out on important nutrition to help her grow... into whatever size is healthy for her. Bring this up with her dad and stepmom, with the focus on health and nutrition, and agree on some restrictions. One meal out a week, fruit juice instead of soda (still high in sugar!), fruit salad and yogurt for dessert, not ice cream.
Feed her healthy fats like nuts and avocado. Don't restrict her calories or portion sizes, and encourage second helpings of healthy meals - she's still growing. She's less likely to grab junk food if she's already full.
Don't make junk food a reward for good behaviour... instead offer new clothes, a trip to the amusement park, etc.
I wish I'd listened to my mum when she told me that it's easier to get healthy when you're close to a healthy weight (not later)... but of course I was a teenager, and did the opposite just to defy her... what kept me healthy were my extracurriculars (dance and swimming) - ask your daughter what she enjoys, sign her up, and encourage her to be active.

BCSMama

I think it's great that you want your daughter to be healthy and have a good body image. I agree that it doesn't sound like you need to worry about her weight at this point though. My kids are younger (8 and 7), but we already talk to them about healthy food versus non healthy food. Not necessarily from a weight standpoint either; my kids are both healthy weights. We emphasize that good (healthy) foods make you feel good and give you energy and junk foods make you feel like junk. We also tell them that too many sweets and soda isn't good for your teeth either. They know that occasional treats and junk food is okay as long as the majority of what they eat is healthy.

We also talk to them about the benefits of exercise; telling them that it keeps your body strong and gives you energy. I try to lead by example and let my kids know that I'm not eating healthy and exercising to loose weight per se, but to be healthier in general, which includes getting to a healthy weight.

I also agree that it wouldn't be a good idea to tell your daughter that you're worried she's at risk of being overweight. Just try to have a discussion with her about being healthy and how what we eat plays a huge role in that. Allow her to make healthy choices at the grocery store (should we make broccoli or carrots for dinner; fish or chicken, eggs or oatmeal, etc.) and allow her to help prepare meals if she's interested. That will give you opportunities to talk about healthy living, allow her to have some control over what foods she eats, and will be a bonding experience.

Meganfitz97

My mom used to call me chubby or chunky sometimes when I was a teenager (I wasn't @ 15-16 I was 110 lbs I'm 5'2).

My gran did the exact same thing to me. She would always compare me to my cousin who was (and still is) stick thin. I know she didn't mean to, but it still hurt. She used to ask me to try things on that she was going to get my cousin for Christmas or her birthday and would get a size or two smaller than the one that fit me because I was 'chunkier' than her. I told my mum and she talked to my gran about it, but she didn't get that things like that made me self-conscious.

FitMama2013

You've gotten some great suggestions already so I won't repeat them - but I will say, you are a great mom for being concerned and she's lucky to have you. With that said, she's at an age where self-esteem building is critical and eating disorders easily start here - continue to lead through example, teach her about nutrition, exercise, etc, but focus on how it's HEALTHY for her and will give her energy to do things, not necessarily on what size she is, etc. I don't mean to make it sound like I think you're going to say "hey chunky, you need to cut it back." But, remind her of why she's an amazing girl and teach her how to take care of her body even better. She will thank you for it many years later. My parents did not set good examples for me and chose the "you need to slim down" route, which landed me in counseling to try to overcome disordered eating.

daylily2005

I'll never forget the year they decided to start weighing you when you signed up and "tried out" for a community basketball team. I think I was in 5th grade, maybe 6th (so 11 or 12 years old), and I weighed 130 pounds. I was a chunky kid. I did grow out of it in high school. I grew taller, and by the time I graduated I weighed 130 again (after skyrocketing to a REALLY chunky 178 pounds....I like to forget this happened in my past). Like your daughter, I LOVED fast food, fried food, carbs, starches....most everything that was bad for me.

College hit, I started gaining weight again, lost a little, gained a little....started this most recent weight loss journey at memorial day at 175 pounds. I'm still trying to find healthy foods that I like. I hate most veggies. But I love fruits. My advice: help her learn to eat in moderation, even cutting down on the amount of bad food she eats will be better than nothing. Mix veggies into sauces and use lots of spices in your cooking! I hate spinach, but with enough garlic, I love spinach lasagna. I only eat whole wheat pastas now, and brown rice. Try black beans and pinto beans with mexican-style food.

And help her find an activity that she likes and support her in it! Even if you have to try 15 different things before she finds one she likes. She'll also find friends (Hopefully) and enjoy doing it. Best of all, like you're doing, lead by example

I have also found that pinterest has introduced me to a lot of healthy recipes I otherwise wouldn't have thought of. Tons of creative recipe-builders out there!

good luck