Mean People Suck.

4myhealth77

I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?" Of course, most members there don't know we are a couple and we prefer it that way, because we are professional like that. But he was offended and defended me as professionally as he could without being rude to them. I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.

JoolieW68

Wow that was incredibly insensitive of them! Glad that your fiancé defended you, he probably told you not to make you feel hurt, but perhaps so you knew he didn't stand for them to say those things about you.

nz_deevaa

Why do you think they thought you might be sick?

jyuubi

Mean people do suck, but you know, you should appreciate your fiance being willing to tell you the truth and not keep something from you. Especially when someone had something rude to say. It's true that if someone is talking behind your back and you don't hear it, you don't know it, so it doesn't bother you...but personally, I'd rather know when someone is talking behind my back and what they're saying about me. You know he defended you. I would be happy to hear that if someone was insulting me, that my boyfriend defended me like that.

If you don't like hearing insults, then you can explain that to him. But I'd be more proud of him about defending you than upset at him for telling you the truth.

morgancbd

people can be so mean, sorry that happened to you. that is so rude. and your boyfriend shouldnt of told you cause in the end it only hurt you. sorry!

BarbBlue

I am sorry, that is really rude for those people to say. I agree, that people need to mind their own business. When I hear things like that I always try to remember that certain people - like them, don't mean anything to me in my life so I just let it roll off my back. As for your fiance, don't be too hard on him. He may have just been very surprised and didn't think about not telling you. However, I would be happy he did defend you. That's a good thing!
Cheer up, don't let people upset you that mean nothing to you.

Dionysus35

Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

Alex_is_Hawks

lets put it this way....how would you feel if SOMEONE else that possibly overheard that conversation came up to you two weeks later and told you about it...and said...he really didn't defend you very passionately for a fiance...

i mean how would your feelings feel then, to know that he never told you about it??? and you learned about it from someone else that may or may not understand the need to separate personal with professional responses........he defended you professionally and then told you so you would hear it from him first...

I really think he was trying to do the right thing here.

That's all....

Lauren

BinaryPulsar

He loves you and probably just likes being honest and open (that's a good quality). You can talk to him and tell him that you'd rather not know next time. He sounds like a great guy! I'm sorry that happened to you! Of course you feel sensitive, after that. :flowerforyou:

Deipneus

I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.

It is human nature to gossip although that doesn't excuse it. You are wise to wonder why your fiance told you about it. Bragging that he defended you? I would never tell my wife if that happened to me, but come to think of it, when I was younger I said a lot of stupid things to my wife.

Joneisha07

I think he was right for telling you. I would have been happy that he defended me. People do suck and you are here with us getting healthier. Plus you have an amazing fiance! Screw rude old people, sometimes they just cant help it lol.

alasin1derland

He probably was angry and offended and you are the one he tells his feelings to. That's nice that you are that person for him. Also he came to your defense. That shows how much he cares. I agree people are far too concerned with lives that are not their own. Ignore them, they aren't with your time. Sounds like you have a good relationship.

lhather

First of all, you're absolutely beautiful...
Second of all Mean people will always SUCK....
and thirdly love yourself - because the mean people don't matter

londaknight

He told you because he loves you, and he probably feels that him not telling you would be lying to you. Just be happy he's man enough to stand up for you, many women wish they had that. Screw mean people, you caught a good one, and overly sensitive or not, you should be happy for that.

paintlisapurple

I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?" Of course, most members there don't know we are a couple and we prefer it that way, because we are professional like that. But he was offended and defended me as professionally as he could without being rude to them. I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.

Maybe he wanted you to know that he "came to your aide" and was proud of himself?

gaylynn35

I am not sure how I would have felt. It is good to know that he defended you though.

4myhealth77

Aww, thanks Lhather...I know Im being sensitive. He is a good guy. I know he meant well. I will give him a hug and a thank you. I still feel down about it. I know I shouldn't let peoples opinions matter, and for the most part I usually dont. But Ive been working my butt off lately and just wasn't expecting that. I get compliments at the gym all the time because most of our members root for my weight loss and see the weight coming off. That makes me feel good, but a little self conscious at the same time, lol. I guess I was a little embarrassed that he had to deal with that.

CynthiasChoice

Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

This is probably the best post for you. But you should probably take stock of your fiance - being practical and wise could save you a lifetime of hurt feelings. Does he say insensitive things to other people? Or has he said insensitive things to you before? If the answer is yes, you need either dump him, or accept him the way he is. One in a million men change because their wife wants them to.

Good luck.

staps065

I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?"

So why did your BF tell you what they said? Didn't he know that their comments would hurt your feelings? I understand they are mean and rude, but why did he have to convey the hatred to you?

Just wondering?

iKapuniai

I don't think that's mean. There must have been a time or two in your life where you've said, or thought of saying, or even just thought of something mean. And your BF shared it with you because, well, he's your BF. My man and I share EVERYTHING with each other, even if it hurts our feelings, because we're just that good at communication I guess lol

Anyways, mean people DO suck, but I don't think that was mean enough to get butt hurt about. But that's just me.

Keep doing what you're doing. Who cares what other people say/think/feel. All that matters is you; keep working at it.

Love and Alohas,
Ihilani Kapuniai

da1128

Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

I agree. My husband often puts his foot in his mouth by repeating something that was said and it doesn't turn out so well...his rendition doesn't quite come out the way it was originally said and results in mass confusion and sometimes hurt feelings. It's not deliberate on his part...he just needs to learn how to put his mind in gear before he puts his mouth in motion.

haley6251993

Take what they said with a grain of salt. There will always be people that can't put a lid on their mouths and say ridiculous things. I'm sure this wasn't the first time someone's words hurt you, and I can bet you it wont be the last. Just brush it off and try not to dwell on it, doing so will only hurt you in the long run anyway.

Keep your head up dear, things will be okay!

2012asv

judge mental people...screw them. Jerks!!!

As far as your bf- he probably needed to get it off his chest, and telling anyone other than you could be further insulting, no? I'm sure if he realized how much it hurt you he wouldnt have told you.

Kath712

Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

This! Sorry that happened, but I'm sure your boyfriend just felt so strongly about how rude they were that he wanted to tell you.

Kath712

Sorry, correction - fiance!

And you should put no stock in what those people say or think - you are gorgeous! :flowerforyou:

Wonderob

judge mental people...screw them.

You're judging them on the basis of what someone was told that they said with no context whatsoever. Isn't that......... Judgemental?

saragato

A lot of people have problems with saying before they think, and I don't want to seem ageist (is that a word?) but some older folks, depending on the era they were raised in and so on, tend to be the worst. My mother's in her 60s and talks like that about black people, but she has it in her head every black person is a ghetto thug drug dealer that lives on welfare.

It really is bothersome and I don't think they mean it to be, well, mean but that's how it comes out and we get hurt or mad. I know I have very short hair and sometimes wear a bandana to the gym which covers all my hair and I've had people think I'm a cancer patient, and one guy even said "I thought cancer made you skin and bones, but you're fat." It really bothered me and when I took off the bandana he felt bad, but it was just him being a nosy parker.

Shayztar

Why do you think they thought you might be sick?

People are mean, soothe soothe strokes ego.

Seriously tho. Why do you think they thought you might be sick?

Wonderob

one guy even said "I thought cancer made you skin and bones, but you're fat." It really bothered me and when I took off the bandana he felt bad, but it was just him being a nosy parker.

No, THAT was as rude and insensitive as you can possibly imagine!

MyNameIsJess24

Even if I came across someone that was 700lbs, I would never go up to a stranger that I didn't know and be like, "what is wrong with that fat guy" or whatever. I would never say something like that to anyone, especially about weight. That is such a sensitive subject for people and to come out and say it to someone they don't even know...it's just rude.

And as for your fiance telling you, I think men are kind of hardwired a certain way where somebody said something about you, he defended you and then he wanted to tell you that he defended you so it's like good job, you defended me, you're magical. They don't think, this is going to hurt her feelings if she finds out, it's she is going to think I'm amazing because I defended her.

saragato

one guy even said "I thought cancer made you skin and bones, but you're fat." It really bothered me and when I took off the bandana he felt bad, but it was just him being a nosy parker.

No, THAT was as rude and insensitive as you can possibly imagine!

Actually it's not. I've had worse things said to me. That wasn't even a direct insult, it was someone making a poorly worded observation/thought aloud at me. Something like "you shouldn't wear that bandana, it makes you look sick and you're too fat to be sick so quit trying to get pity by faking cancer" would be highly insensitive and rude.