how does it feel to fall out?

Jxnsmma

If he's not the one for you, dont pretend he is. Im in a similar situation but I let it go way too long and now have a home and kid together because I do love him and care deeply for him. I just never wanted to hurt him, though I am not happy, or fulfilled. Be honest with yourself and him.

that's what i feel like!
when people say ( and you are right) to leave him or you know go your seperate ways, it sounds easy behind my computer. but i really deeply care for him. i can't do it.
i really care for him enough that i respect and love who he is. how do you feel now? love your husband?

I love him but dont feel "in love". Yet I cant imagine coming home and him not being there. Its complicated because we are very different people. I am outdoorsey, love to go out and do stuff and see people. He is a homebody that spends countless hours staring at the black box on the wall. I do everything by myself. And yet take care of 99% of the household responsibilities so I feel a little Jipped because I feel like I should at least have some companionship in return. And yes, he is aware of my feelings and we've discussed it many times. It somewhat changes for a short time and then its the same old thing...

Honestly, if I could turn back the clock...

But now we have a son, and I dont want to split up our family.

bikermike5094

If i was him, I'd run like I stole the mona lisa. I wouldnt want anything to do with someone who posts their love life on an open forum and solicit love and life advice from total strangers. Thats just me and my no drama clause kicking in....

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Some of the things that you describe “going wild for each other” and “butterflies” are lust, not love. Love in my home is something that lust can never compete with, it’s beyond the physical, it lives deep in my soul. I care about him more than I care about myself. As much as a joke around about it, the thought of not having him in my life fills me with such great sorrow, not fear but sorrow (there’s a difference between being afraid to be alone and the sorrow at the possibility of living a life without a specific person). Love isn’t just about what you do and how you accept a person when times are good, but also when times are tough, and how you get through that together. Being with another person isn’t easy. I grew up in one house with one family, and my husband grew up in another house with another family (thank goodness), we share some affinities, and there are definitely things we don’t share (we like some of the same movies, but you couldn’t pay me to watch Alien vs Predator and he loves that stuff just as you couldn’t pay him to watch Sandra Bullock and I think she’s great . . . and don’t get me started on our different tastes in music). We figured out early that in order to live together and make it we would need to put our expectations and predispositions aside, we each had our own language that we learned from our own families and we had to figure out how to blend that in our house. We spend 3 months going to a counselor once a week and it is still one of the aspects on which we build our solid foundation. Without that, we wouldn’t have made it. Love is easy, relationships are hard.

I almost got engaged once before, he had the ring and was waiting for the right time. I broke up with him about a month before the planned proposal, I knew it was coming and fled like a wild animal from a forest fire. I thought I loved him, the relationship was pretty volatile and probably would have ended up violent. I realized that I didn't love him, I was just scared of change, and I realized this because his smell which was always such a comfort for me started to become oppressive and a huge turn off. I still can't smell that cologne without making faces.

Beastette

I'm misquoting here, but I read somewhere that the key to a successful relationship is to never fall out of love at the same time. Maybe it's your turn?

odusgolp

I married a man that I cared for and loved, but never had a spark for and fell IN love with. End it before it's too late... for both of you. Sorry, sista. This sucks.