OT: attitudes on weddings

2

Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    B ofcourse
    If i get married there will be guns, a large fire pit, a tattoo artist, and too many drunk people.

    YES.

    Skip the wedding. We were just married at a justice of the peace.. I think we paid $40. We are just as married as our friends that have spent 40k on their weddings. If I could do anything over again, I would at least get dressed up and hire a photographer to take some "just married" pictures. We're thinking about having a vow renewal (aka excuse to party) for our 10th in a couple of years... if we do, there will definitely be a photographer this time.

    we want a huge party, and I want a dress. But mostly we want people to have a really really good time. I want people to walk away saying "Yep, that's them" not "goodness what a stuffy affair".

    We cut a lot out of our decor, dress, and cake budget and focused on spending more on food, booze, and entertainment. We still had a relatively small budget for the size of the wedding, but we had a full buffet with really good food, an ice cream bar, and a wine/beer bar. We also had a great DJ who kept things fun and light for us. I'm glad we didn't spend $3,000 on flowers.

    I might need to get pointers. That's exactly what I want.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    We cut a lot out of our decor, dress, and cake budget and focused on spending more on food, booze, and entertainment. We still had a relatively small budget for the size of the wedding, but we had a full buffet with really good food, an ice cream bar, and a wine/beer bar. We also had a great DJ who kept things fun and light for us. I'm glad we didn't spend $3,000 on flowers.

    I might need to get pointers. That's exactly what I want.

    First thing to do then is to budget your food, booze, entertainment, and a suitable venue. Whatever you have left then allocate to everything else. Don't be afraid to cut corners on decor, flowers, and other superfluous things even your dress. You only wear that dress once, and you can find a lot of nice gowns that are flattering and not break-the-bank costly.
  • droogievesch
    droogievesch Posts: 202
    Both, but lately it has been leaning more towards A as I am butting heads with my in-laws (FIL says: no bouquets, no wedding dress, no flowers, no tuxes, no DJ, no reception, no diamonds, etc. Maximum wedding budget of 500-just enough to cover the wedding license, get a nice dress from a department store, a nice dress shirt and tie, and pay for an officiant). Since he's not paying for the wedding I just have to nicely smile and tell him to shove it. I am becoming a bit of a Bridezilla though because affording this wedding is #1 on my list (If I don't get the wedding I want, I don't want one at all).

    Before we got engaged both my fiance and I agreed that we want our guests to say, "That was amazing!". We don't want a wedding that looks or seems like it was just "thrown together". I have spent a lot of time and energy planning things down to the very detail. If there isn't ONE thing at our wedding that doesn't make somebody say, "Holy ****" then I don't think we did a good enough job. We're having live doves, amazing food, vintage cars, 25 wedding cakes, champagne fountain, photo booth, 50" flat screen TV's with live video feed of the dance floor (which will also be streamed online), a trolley, a bridal bouquet made out of jewels, etc. We want our guests to enjoy themselves, but when it comes down to what they want or what we want we're doing things our way.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    Mostly B. Our wedding was a small evening of great food and the biggest expense was the open bar for the 20 people who actually drink.
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
    A great day to drive to Vegas with a couple of friends to witness I say!
    Haha that would be awesome.

    Oh........ it was!

    We did the same thing... it was awesome plus we had a beautiful location...
  • katrinkap
    katrinkap Posts: 443 Member
    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.

    amen, learned this the hard way.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    We just ran off and got married. I have no idea how many months it was before her relatives were even told.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Mine is about me. My childrens' will also be all about me. :laugh:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    A.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    um... neither.

    couple and their parents and sibs (IF they're really close) anything else is just a waste of money.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    C) Everyone needs to stop inviting me to fcking weddings bc I don't give a ****

    (Have been invited to 4 wedding in the last 3 months)
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.


    this is the smartest thing i have read in a WHILE.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
    A bit of both. I'm a firm believer it's not just MY day, it's my future husband's day too. But it's also a special fun day to share our joy with our families!

    My boyfriend and I discussed marriage on multiple occasions. Price sucks, but we don’t' see the point in a big fancy formal wedding. We're just down to earth, nerds and fun loving people so we're having that kind of wedding. Why be what we're not?! We plan to have his mom cater the food, a family friend who does cakes make our cake, and most the decorations will be hand done since we're artsy, and almost all of it will have to deal with our fave video games or movies :)
  • paulaviki
    paulaviki Posts: 678 Member
    B for me definitely! We had 130 guests at our wedding plus more in the evening because we wanted to share our day with all our family and friends. It was a brilliant day with all our loved ones, I can't believe it was a year ago already!
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    My husband I bought a house so we didnt have a wedding. but once i lose all the weight he's agreed that we can do a small wedding at disneyland.
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    Mine was A and B.

    We got married at home and had 40 guests. We had a blast and didn't leave for honeymoon till we visited with everyone and saw them all leave :)
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!

    just a TAD bit of A.

    I hate "all about me psycho brides"
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
    A and B! It was OUR special day, but it meant so much more to enjoy it with friends and family.
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    A (not YOURS though, US)

    We plan on a secluded romantic wedding in someplace like South Asia! We will invite our closest family, but if they can't make it, then oh well! :)

    I agree on having a party later down the road to celebrate!
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    for me, this will be my 2nd wedding, I am 20 years older and wiser, I am joing 2 families, so it is a day for my families to join as one, and come together to celebrate the fact that we have been blessed with a second chance. I want to share it with everyone!! :)
  • PixEm
    PixEm Posts: 190 Member
    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.

    fracking romantic! I love it.

    Yeah, I'm just fracking adorable.
    At least my wife of 27 years thinks so. Especially last week when she found a bouquet of flowers on the seat of her car when she was leaving for work at 5:30am...and realized they were only to remind her "I love you" and "I want your day to start off special"...when it wasn't any special day at all, just another Thursday. And also realized I must have planned it the night before.

    And I find it sad when people spend $20k - $30k on a wedding day just to get divorced in 3-5 years.

    That is such a sweet thing to do. Sometimes I leave little notes on my boyfriends windshield. It is easy because I leave for work before him and he truly appreciates the gesture.
  • _Calvin_
    _Calvin_ Posts: 122 Member
    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.

    This /\/\, going through a divorce after 8 yrs. I would rather have the money than the memories.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    It's all about the bride.

    That being said, it would all be done my way, I'll just make her the central focus.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    B.
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    Ours was really neither.. it was a day we made public vows to one another. We had less than 100 in attendance (mostly family) We had good food, no alcohol, and a lovely setting overlooking rapids on the Coosa River.

    We didn't want a big party, and I know that alienated some guests, but that's okay.

    I also had no intention of the day being about "me". I didn't have the huge canvas bridal shot hanging as you walked into the reception, and I never uttered anything about it being "the bride's special day".

    We paid for it ourselves, and didn't break the bank.. and then we left and went on a fabulous honeymoon to St. Lucia. I'd much rather spend my money on an awesome trip!
  • kittyhasclaws
    kittyhasclaws Posts: 446 Member
    For us, it was B. We got married by a chaplain on base, but our mothers insisted on us having an actual "wedding". It was actually one of the worst trips I've ever been on, and it made the whole "wedding" thing become very annoying for me. I think it's a massive waste of time, money and effort. Kind of like going crazy on a kid's first birthday party. Pointless.
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
    C. Something I'll (probably) never do again.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    B. So many people make way too big of a deal out of weddings. My sister's wedding was gorgeous and very nice. However, 200 people were there and some came just in jeans and a t shirt for the free cake... I don't want to invite people to my wedding because I feel obligated to... I only want people who are important to me there. Close Friends and family.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    B. So many people make way too big of a deal out of weddings. My sister's wedding was gorgeous and very nice. However, 200 people were there and some came just in jeans and a t shirt for the free cake... I don't want to invite people to my wedding because I feel obligated to... I only want people who are important to me there. Close Friends and family.

    This.
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.

    ^^Yep, huge waste of money. Mine only cost $1000 (including dress). I am not a fan of weddings personally. I would rather have gone to vegas.
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