OT: attitudes on weddings

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24

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  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    It's a big party, of course. But it should be planned in such a way as to not create debt...not draining your funds, just proportional to what you have.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    B. It's about spending time and celebrating with everyone, not just all about YOU. Couples that give no consideration to their guests suck, and their wedding usually ends up being either boring and/or annoying for the guests.

    You don't have to spend a fortune either to make your guests feel appreciated for coming, gifting, and/or contributing. It's not about the cost, but rather appreciating your family and friends who have supported you and your spouse.

    Another thing I see often are brides who put really expensive things on their registry when most of their guests have modest income with little to no lower-price items. This is incredibly tacky and rude. Just because you're getting married, that doesn't entitle you to ask your guests to spend a fortune for gifts. Now, if you've got guests who you know will want to spend that, put a few higher price items on, but don't make the whole registry top-end everything.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    B ofcourse
    If i get married there will be guns, a large fire pit, a tattoo artist, and too many drunk people.

    YES.

    Skip the wedding. We were just married at a justice of the peace.. I think we paid $40. We are just as married as our friends that have spent 40k on their weddings. If I could do anything over again, I would at least get dressed up and hire a photographer to take some "just married" pictures. We're thinking about having a vow renewal (aka excuse to party) for our 10th in a couple of years... if we do, there will definitely be a photographer this time.
  • lmeasterling
    lmeasterling Posts: 139 Member
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    Both! My wedding day was MY special day, but I wanted my family & friends there to share it! :)
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    B ofcourse
    If i get married there will be guns, a large fire pit, a tattoo artist, and too many drunk people.

    YES.

    Skip the wedding. We were just married at a justice of the peace.. I think we paid $40. We are just as married as our friends that have spent 40k on their weddings. If I could do anything over again, I would at least get dressed up and hire a photographer to take some "just married" pictures. We're thinking about having a vow renewal (aka excuse to party) for our 10th in a couple of years... if we do, there will definitely be a photographer this time.

    we want a huge party, and I want a dress. But mostly we want people to have a really really good time. I want people to walk away saying "Yep, that's them" not "goodness what a stuffy affair".
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    To be honest with student loans and a horrible recession, we get married and take a cruise to the Bahamas. (under $1000 and its 3 hours away.)
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    B ofcourse
    If i get married there will be guns, a large fire pit, a tattoo artist, and too many drunk people.

    YES.

    Skip the wedding. We were just married at a justice of the peace.. I think we paid $40. We are just as married as our friends that have spent 40k on their weddings. If I could do anything over again, I would at least get dressed up and hire a photographer to take some "just married" pictures. We're thinking about having a vow renewal (aka excuse to party) for our 10th in a couple of years... if we do, there will definitely be a photographer this time.

    we want a huge party, and I want a dress. But mostly we want people to have a really really good time. I want people to walk away saying "Yep, that's them" not "goodness what a stuffy affair".

    We cut a lot out of our decor, dress, and cake budget and focused on spending more on food, booze, and entertainment. We still had a relatively small budget for the size of the wedding, but we had a full buffet with really good food, an ice cream bar, and a wine/beer bar. We also had a great DJ who kept things fun and light for us. I'm glad we didn't spend $3,000 on flowers.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    my day!

    but i don't want a big wedding. i don't have any friends, so no one would go anyway.
    my day to eat wtf i want. sounds good to me.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 12,937 Member
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    Ours was all about family and friends. It looks like we're not going to make the 20th anniversary though. :brokenheart:
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
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    Neither! I hate weddings! We went to a little chapel with only 5 guests then went to our favorite restaurant for dinner. It was everything I wanted!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    B ofcourse
    If i get married there will be guns, a large fire pit, a tattoo artist, and too many drunk people.

    YES.

    Skip the wedding. We were just married at a justice of the peace.. I think we paid $40. We are just as married as our friends that have spent 40k on their weddings. If I could do anything over again, I would at least get dressed up and hire a photographer to take some "just married" pictures. We're thinking about having a vow renewal (aka excuse to party) for our 10th in a couple of years... if we do, there will definitely be a photographer this time.

    we want a huge party, and I want a dress. But mostly we want people to have a really really good time. I want people to walk away saying "Yep, that's them" not "goodness what a stuffy affair".

    We cut a lot out of our decor, dress, and cake budget and focused on spending more on food, booze, and entertainment. We still had a relatively small budget for the size of the wedding, but we had a full buffet with really good food, an ice cream bar, and a wine/beer bar. We also had a great DJ who kept things fun and light for us. I'm glad we didn't spend $3,000 on flowers.

    I might need to get pointers. That's exactly what I want.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    We cut a lot out of our decor, dress, and cake budget and focused on spending more on food, booze, and entertainment. We still had a relatively small budget for the size of the wedding, but we had a full buffet with really good food, an ice cream bar, and a wine/beer bar. We also had a great DJ who kept things fun and light for us. I'm glad we didn't spend $3,000 on flowers.

    I might need to get pointers. That's exactly what I want.

    First thing to do then is to budget your food, booze, entertainment, and a suitable venue. Whatever you have left then allocate to everything else. Don't be afraid to cut corners on decor, flowers, and other superfluous things even your dress. You only wear that dress once, and you can find a lot of nice gowns that are flattering and not break-the-bank costly.
  • droogievesch
    droogievesch Posts: 202
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    Both, but lately it has been leaning more towards A as I am butting heads with my in-laws (FIL says: no bouquets, no wedding dress, no flowers, no tuxes, no DJ, no reception, no diamonds, etc. Maximum wedding budget of 500-just enough to cover the wedding license, get a nice dress from a department store, a nice dress shirt and tie, and pay for an officiant). Since he's not paying for the wedding I just have to nicely smile and tell him to shove it. I am becoming a bit of a Bridezilla though because affording this wedding is #1 on my list (If I don't get the wedding I want, I don't want one at all).

    Before we got engaged both my fiance and I agreed that we want our guests to say, "That was amazing!". We don't want a wedding that looks or seems like it was just "thrown together". I have spent a lot of time and energy planning things down to the very detail. If there isn't ONE thing at our wedding that doesn't make somebody say, "Holy ****" then I don't think we did a good enough job. We're having live doves, amazing food, vintage cars, 25 wedding cakes, champagne fountain, photo booth, 50" flat screen TV's with live video feed of the dance floor (which will also be streamed online), a trolley, a bridal bouquet made out of jewels, etc. We want our guests to enjoy themselves, but when it comes down to what they want or what we want we're doing things our way.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
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    Mostly B. Our wedding was a small evening of great food and the biggest expense was the open bar for the 20 people who actually drink.
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
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    A great day to drive to Vegas with a couple of friends to witness I say!
    Haha that would be awesome.

    Oh........ it was!

    We did the same thing... it was awesome plus we had a beautiful location...
  • katrinkap
    katrinkap Posts: 443 Member
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    A HUUUUGGGGEEEE waste of money!

    Take the wedding budget, put it in an escrow account, and if the marriage lasts 7 years have a huge party to celebrate. If not, the two parties split the proceeds and go their separate ways.

    amen, learned this the hard way.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    We just ran off and got married. I have no idea how many months it was before her relatives were even told.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Mine is about me. My childrens' will also be all about me. :laugh:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    A.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    um... neither.

    couple and their parents and sibs (IF they're really close) anything else is just a waste of money.

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